Yea, it’s like really dirty.

This made its way around a couple months ago. It doesn't take her that long it all to clean her house up. People have different issues and everybody has bad weeks (get really sick with the flu, family emergencies etc) mess builds up. She's given inspiration to lots of depression nesters. Life happens and lots of people could use some support after the whole covid trauma. When I went through my nervous breakdown my house was often this bad before I could even see that there was a problem. If I could've had support instead of people telling me I was just lazy and telling me how easy everything should be things might not have gotten that bad. "Normal" people struggle. It doesn't make them lazy or disgusting.

Yes, you should judge. There are kids involved here and they are living like animals. Everyone should judge. This is not ok.

This is not healthy for the children. If the children had been taught from the beginning, to put up what they were playing with before getting another toy, they would do it. Children want to feel helpful and like being rewarded for their efforts. They need a chore system relative to their age and abilities, to get some stickers on a board and maybe a special movie night or other activities that they like as rewards for a week's worth of accomplished goals. It would benefit the entire family and the children would feel more involved, instead of left to fend for themselves all the time. Which is how houses end up looking like that. That happens because the children don't know what to do with themselves, are bored, have no structure or consequences of any kind, they are left to their own devices to entertain themselves, no encouragement to do anything constructive, or no positive behavior to mimic because mimicry is another way that children learn. They should do better.

to be honest, i agree. It does look dirty, especially the floors and rugs. You can tell, that most of these have not been cleaned regularly. It just shows that people have different expectations on what they consider clean. I‘m not judging. I‘m sure people can live happily like that and it shouldn‘t harm the kids either. But this will affect how the way the kids regard hygiene etc. Most likely they will grow up with similar cleanliness standards. To me this is ok, but i wouldn‘t want this.

We could get all toys out to play anywhere, but also were taught to put them away after finishing - ok for me the main motivation was not to let my siblings take my toys, but still it's something I've learned for life, I put everything away as soon as I'm done

It's not just mental health issues. Having my son destroyed my health. While I never there trash anywhere except a trashcan, there are pros where I physically can not clean bc I'm too sick. And I'm at the doctor's constantly trying to get better. We judge first and ask questions later and it shouldn't be this way. Empathy. Compassion.

welcome to the vicious cycle of depression and anxiety! it becomes messy due to these things, and then the thought of actually trying to conquer the mess leads to more angst, which leads to letting it sit some more.

It’s not just your mental health that would be negatively impacted by this, it’s everybody’s mental health. This is not a way to live, and it’s certainly not a way to raise children.

The problem is that you can't rely on a cleaner to keep a home nice. It's really not that hard if you just check behind you. It can take 10 seconds to clean out a milk jug and throw it in the recycle, but if you fail to do those small things over and over again, it will start to be overwhelming very quickly. Kids are messy yeah, but that doesn't mean you just say screw it and leave a trail of messes everywhere. When they make a mess, you clean it up. They make another mess in 10 minutes, you clean it up again. Not to mention, if children are leaving this kind of mess behind, its most likely that it's because they haven't been taught any better. I live in a house with five children, and granted it's not spotless, but the children would never leave a mess like that, because they've been taught to respect their home through example from the other adults in the house

This need to be higher

It was the opposite for me. My step mother would freak out while she was cleaning everything would have to be cleaned every day. I would get punished for a months at a time if there was a glass left in the sink after my morning clean up. I clean my house but I don't stress when it's not perfect bc I hated that scary feeling growing up. Like you can't live in your own house bc it's museum like.

I hate when things get dirty or messy but you need to stop cleaning. You familly don't bother cleaning because YOU do everything....stop doing it

You've got teens? That's definitely old enough to help with the chores. If they are old enough to go camping, they're old enough to wash their own blankets afterwards. When I was a teenager, I cooked for the whole family and did a good share of the cleaning. Being the family martyr isn't doing anyone any favors.

No reason for them to clean - they have you as a servant.

Make them clean, have clear expectations, and then be realistic. No one is going to do it like you. The price of accepting help is that it's not perfect- even when you pay for it!! But if you can get over that you'll be less stressed. 1/2 done is unacceptable. But maybe 3/4 done (compared to your standards) is livable if it takes some pressure off you. And yes, up front you have to spend A LOT of time and effort training them. But it's worth it. And accept they're not you.

If you have grown children they should be able to help keep the house clean

If you are ok with doing everything for them, then they need to respect what you do, because that’s what it all comes down to. And if they don’t, then you need to share the responsibility of doing chores with all of them. My number one rule is, if you live with me, respect what I do, if you visit my house, respect it, and if you don’t, you clean up.

Maybe talk with a counselor and then all at once? This seems to be very distressing. Getting help is awesome, and can be so eye opening to everyone! I agree that if they can go camping they can wash their own blankets. And your husband needs to know that your love language might just be acts of service and that fully completing a task and not half Doing it isn't just the right thing, it's essential for your mental well being. Hope things get better.

How old are they? Can you teach them how to wash dishes and do laundry? If you can that will take a big load off. As kids we all did our own laundry. It's just the way it was. Never thought about untilI I was older. Probably started about 10. But honestly, I was so young I don't remember. Clothes were fine.

The rest of the house, I get it. Kids are chaotic. No excuse for the kitchen being like that. None.