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30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group
Life is full of surprises, and nobody can guarantee you that these surprises will only be positive. There are nearly 8 billion folks on this planet, living with their own quirks and personalities, and chances are someone on your way will end up disappointing you. It's safe to say that one of the most crucial reasons why everything is, more or less, emotionally tiring is because we attach our happiness to others.
We struggle to accept our importance, and we only pay attention to how we can satisfy everyone else around us. We put ourselves aside, forgetting that we're supposed to thrive and not survive – though, for most of us, this sort of epiphany comes with age when you finally understand that there's no more room for negativity.
An online user wondered and took it to one of Reddit's communities to ask women to share their own versions of hard-to-swallow pills they've managed to learn over the years. The post received nearly 4K upvotes and 1.5K worth of emotional yet encouraging stories.
More info: Reddit
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#1
You can do everything right and still get f**ked. You can’t control that.
Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." - Jean-Luc Picard
#2
That no one cares. This sounds pessimistic but I really don’t mean it that way. When it comes to medical issues, boundaries with friends, or relationships, no one cares about you the way you do, and no one will advocate for you the way you can. You need to value yourself and take action as if no one else will, because in all likelihood, they won’t.
K Witmer 2 years ago
I tell my daughter this bc I want her to be prepared when I'm not here anymore. I will fight for her tooth and nail but I still don't know exactly what she's going through only she does and she needs to learn how to advocate for herself even if it means a raging angry fight.
#3
Don’t assume people will treat you with the same kindness you treated them with.
#4
You can be every thing they want- and they will want something else.
#5
I am never going to be thin and that’s perfectly fine. Turns out it’s a lot easier to live your life when you’re not constantly consumed with hating your own body!
#7
You can do everything right in college and have honors, connections, and experience, and still not find a career when you graduate
#8
If a man is pushy about small things he will probably be pushy in other ways too.
Anaïs Grobin 2 years ago
I wish this was talked about more. I've been married to a "pushy" guy for 20 years. The implication in this post is that it veers towards sexual or physical abuse, but it doesn't always. My husband is neither, but his pushiness has destroyed parts of our life that we can never fully repair. Pushy people aren't all motivated by the same things, but the end result will be horrifying regardless, if unchecked. Rule #1 in life, set clear boundaries. Rule #2, maintain those boundaries at all costs.
#9
Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay. Regardless of how much it hurts, sometimes you just have to let people go.
Dani Alexander 2 years ago
“That’s life And as funny as it may seem Some people get their kicks Stomping on a dream But I don't let it, let it get me down Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around” -Frank Sinatra
#10
That sometimes you can be the toxic one, even if you have the best intentions. Accountability is important
May 2 years ago
So many toxic people in so called romantic films and books, I hope the examples set will get better over time
Daria B 2 years ago (edited)
I understand that fiction can encourage both good and bad behaviour, and I'm also pretty tired of those kinds of clichés indeed. But I think it's a huge problem when we seek example in fictional characters. Fiction can be various, it can be educational too, but its primary role is to entertain us, one way or another. Fiction is not there to be emulated in real life, and should be appreciated for what it is.
Load More Replies...
Kate Jones 2 years ago
And you're choices can be toxic. Especially in relationships. Everytime i hear people complain about hating 'all men' or 'all women', i look at their choices of partner. If you only want a woman who acts like a hooker, expect she'll want to be paid. You want to be with a girl who is taking pics of herself all day long? Expect she may have conceited qualities. If you want a kardashian, expect you'll get one. Same for girls. I don't mean to generalize but every time i see a girl with some Post Malone-looking guy and she's been abused by the last 4 guys she's dated and none of them can keep a job,etc., at some point I have to say maybe it's not them...maybe it's your own bad choices. And for god's sake.... get okay with being alone with yourself. You don't have to be constantly coupled up. You will survive being single, lol. It may be time to get to know yourself better and figure out what you really want. Stop relying on others to make you feel whole.
Alana Voeks 2 years ago
I was extra clingy when I was younger because of the lack of love and affection I had during those times (and still have a lack of). I'm not proud to say, but I did threaten to hurt myself once to try to keep someone in my life. Didn't work, I felt terrible after, and I learned my lesson. Now I need plenty of space, actually kind of don't like being around too many people too long too often, and twisted myself around 180°. But I enjoy being alone now, with the solace and BOOKS
Trisha Howson 2 years ago
Yes it is important to admit when you do wrong for the realionship to even move forward
Fabian Meresse 2 years ago
Always question ourselves to improve attitude towards others. It'll improve our own lives at the end. I did. I quit drinking, quit hard drugs then softer ones, changed the toxic attitude I had with women and mostly people ( all that was problably tightened) and now I'm happier, but most important, I make people happy and I'm being respected because I respect others and myself
P. Mozzani 2 years ago
Self-analysis and introspection are vital for any human, who wants to be accountable. Sometimes, I forget both of those; but, for the most part, I use them as tools to keep myself in check.
Jason Alexander 2 years ago
Accountability for sure. Blaming others for your choices and actions is infuriating to me.
barbie me 2 years ago
After my divorce from my first husband I was so hurt, angry and hateful. I blamed him over and over and over in my head and heart. One day sitting at a stop sign it dawned on me I probably wasn't any better of a wife than he was a husband. We both grew up in single parent homes, so we really didn't have any idea what an actual healthy relationship looked like. All that anger, hurt, etc just floated away in that moment. That's when I truly learned about taking responsibility for my own actions.
Liam Lowenthal 2 years ago
I am a lot less toxic than I used to be, but there are triggers to me that make me toxic again. I recognize that and I try to stay away from it. Like this article. The weight loss one? Yeah that hit a nerve. Subjects like that are a breeding ground for knuckle dragging troglodytes who don't understand the medical world but pretend they like to. And they come up with really basic reasons as to why someone might be fat. Like overeating. They love that one. They don't know anything else actually. As you can see that's a trigger for me. Misinformation. Misinformation is a heavy heavy trigger and it makes me very very toxic. So I wanted to have fun reading these but the comments are making me angry.
Caveman Young 2 years ago
yes Kindell u caused at least as much well me 60 you 40 present of the problem but 1 thing for sure Aythen is absolutely 000000 present the problem so i hope u can stop punishing him like Sara Lou did to Cody but i guess to hear her tell it she was never the problem either Aythen don't deserve this miss managed life hes been manipulated in to thinking is the best for him just like Cody didn't think about that kinde....i mean Sara (u have earned that Allies)
colin dinsdale 2 years ago
What it says on that wall doesn't make sense unless there's some more words to go with it after the word ' cut '
Roxy Eastland 2 years ago
It's a stupid and misleading word really. There's no such thing as a 'toxic person', we won't be doing tests on newborn babies to discover if they're toxic or not. What there is is unhealthy interactions between people. Sometimes one person is in the wrong, as with violent or abusive behaviour, and it certainly isn't the responsibility of the other person to help or even put up with this person, but most of the time I read of a person being accused of being 'toxic' it is clearly the relationship itself that has problems, and is saveable if both people want to save it.
Zophra 2 years ago
Seriously, how would accountability work/look like for a toxic person? Helping with self-awareness? I don't understand.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
A good person can display toxic behaviour due to a variety of circumstances or feelings. A genuinely good person will listen to how their behaviour makes other people feel, whereas a toxic person won't.
Load More Replies... #11
Your parents are people too with their own issues.
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
My parent's issues were each other. One night when I was 15, they got into a huge fight. I had had enough of this in my life. I got up, took my mother's car and left. I came back the next morning to get some clothes, and my mom shows up. I told her I was leaving and would not come back until they divorced, and I didn't. She gave me $200 and the car to use. I left town, and they divorced. We were all happier. Parents should never stay together " for the kids." All you end up with is mentally disabled children. I speak from experience.
#12
That misogyny is so deeply ingrained in most cultures that most people don't recognize it when they look it in the eyes.
And that women, acting from internalized misogyny, can be as dangerous to you in non-sexual ways as men.
#13
That there is often little to no correlation between effort and outcome. I've been successful at some things with little effort and a lot of luck. I've poured my entire soul into other things and still utterly failed.
Dani Alexander 2 years ago (edited)
Just because you’re not good at something you love, doesn’t mean you should stop doing it ❤️ you don’t have to be a master at everything you do, if ur a bad singer, sing your heart out, if you’re a bad drawer, draw everyday:) be kind to yourself, you deserve it
#14
There’s going to come a point where the right thing to do won’t feel good at all. There are some things in life that you have to do, and they will break you down and hurt more than anything. But they’re still the right thing. And you will have to live with that.
#15
Your parents don’t actually always know or want what’s best for you, sometimes it is what’s best for them and/or the society they lived in.
#16
After about the age of 25 I realized I had to work to stay healthy - physically and otherwise. Did not see that coming and it felt really unfair at first, then I realized that if that's my bar for unfair then I've had a pretty f**king good life so far and I should count my blessings and go run.
K Witmer 2 years ago
I'm a runner and it gets harder every year to keep going. Got a peloton to see if that's easier. It's not. Exercise and watching your calorie intake is the only thing that keeps you feeling good at every age. You will still go through middle age and gain weight and have pain and have some issues w your health but taking care of yourself is all you really have that helps ease aging
#17
I overthink too much. Don't overthink everything or you will make yourself miserable.
#19
People still dont owe you anything even if you're willing to risk your life for them. It's still their decision if they're gonna lift a finger for you and you shouldn't feel entitled for anyone's time and attention.
#21
Very few people care about you. Like at all. Even most of your acquaintances and relatives; often even so-called friends.
Exceptions exist for a select small group of "special" people.
Dani Alexander 2 years ago
It always baffles me at how much love and respect I feel for friends or distant family, and how little I get back. It hurts me to know that they don’t care about me like I care about them and it confuses me, like am I a bad person? Is that why they don’t return my respect. You would think it’s just common courtesy
#22
People will think the worst of you no matter how good you try to be.
#23
You can wait until circumstance motivates you out of your bad habits, but banking on future motivation risks you wasting most of your life.
Dani Alexander 2 years ago
You can count on both, just don’t let yourself wait too long to get motivation.
#24
That seeing someone's potential means nothing unless they try to fulfill it on their own
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 2 years ago
Yeah, and just because someone is good at something doesnt' mean they have an interest in pursuing a career out of it or will do anything for you for free. If you really value someone's craft, then put value in it in return by paying them.
#25
That the only person who’s gonna take care of me, is me.
#26
If they like you, you won’t be confused
Bob D. Lin Quint 2 years ago
I'm always confused. Throwing another human in the mix doesn't make my brain work
#27
Only you can be the hero you needed as a kid.
ChimeraBubbles 2 years ago
Ooh, it's called reparenting in some therapy models. Learning to talk to yourself in a nurturing parent voice and learning to advocate for yourself is hard but worth it.
#28
"You let them treat you that way."
-My therapist on the takers in my life of giving endlessly.
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
And we do. For whatever reason, we go above and beyond to help. Over and over again. I finally had to delete a couple of people from my life, literally. It's hard, but I am better for it.
#29
Looks do matter. To be successful, you need to put effort in your appearance to get the proper respect you deserve. Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg may be able to get away with wearing the same shirt and jeans but if you do it, no one will take you seriously
Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
Be clean and do your job. Nobody notices you as much as you notice yourself.
#30
He's just not into you
What do you think ?
Susie Elle 2 years ago
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
Did you hear that? 2 years ago
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
Load More Replies...
K Witmer 2 years ago
You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
Mazer 2 years ago
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Dani Alexander 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
Celestino Madeiros 2 years ago
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
Brandy Galloway 2 years ago (edited)
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Kathleen Schwark/Steppler 2 years ago
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
Tiredofpayingforothers 2 years ago
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
David Dazo 2 years ago
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Kathleen Schwark/Steppler 2 years ago (edited)
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
Load More Replies...
Erik Granqvist 2 years ago
You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
Valli Weidemann 2 years ago
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
Valli Weidemann 2 years ago
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
David Raley 2 years ago
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Anthony Franco 2 years ago
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
Ticci toasty 2 years ago
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
Jose Cabanas 2 years ago
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
Elaine Burch 2 years ago
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
nicehar 2 years ago
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
Did you hear that? 2 years ago
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
Load More Replies... K Witmer 2 years ago
You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
Mazer 2 years ago
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Dani Alexander 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
Celestino Madeiros 2 years ago
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
Brandy Galloway 2 years ago (edited)
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Kathleen Schwark/Steppler 2 years ago
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
Tiredofpayingforothers 2 years ago
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
David Dazo 2 years ago
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Kathleen Schwark/Steppler 2 years ago (edited)
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
Load More Replies... Erik Granqvist 2 years ago
You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
Valli Weidemann 2 years ago
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
Valli Weidemann 2 years ago
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
David Raley 2 years ago
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Anthony Franco 2 years ago
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
Ticci toasty 2 years ago
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
Jose Cabanas 2 years ago
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
Elaine Burch 2 years ago
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
nicehar 2 years ago
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.
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