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This “Knife Roomba” Story Is Going Viral And It Perfectly Illustrates How Aliens Would Probably Find Humankind Weird
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This “Knife Roomba” Story Is Going Viral And It Perfectly Illustrates How Aliens Would Probably Find Humankind Weird

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Human beings are weird. But we don’t realize how weird because we’re, well, human. So most of the time, it’s hard to judge things objectively. But if we were to come into contact with an alien species, it would quickly become apparent just how wacky we are.

That’s exactly what Tumblr user Sepulchritude showed with their viral post about Stabby the Space Roomba. Sepulchritude told the story of how an alien coming aboard a human spaceship would be confused to see a Roomba with a knife taped to it. Why would anyone do that? That’s a fairly good question. And the answer is: because mankind.

The Tumblr user’s story got over 162k notes and others couldn’t help themselves and added to the story about the unfortunately-named Stabby (who, in some stories, gets promoted to Flag Admiral Stabby). Beautiful. Just… beautiful.

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    This is a Roomba with a knife taped to it…

    Image credits: Dennis van Zuijlekom (not the actual photo)

    …and that’s the protagonist of one Tumblr user’s post about how aliens would find mankind weird

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    Image credits: sepulchritude

    The joke took on a life of its own and some Tumblr users went as far as to call all Roombas “Stabby Units” and then explained how their owners ought to properly manually clean them.

    What’s more, Stabby the Space Roomba has become a phenomenon and a part of internet lore, with Sepulchritude posting updates to the robot-cleaner’s story.

    Other Tumblr users loved the story and couldn’t help but expand it

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    Image credits: aethersea

    Image credits: somethingninga

    Image credits: petralemaitre

    Image credits: dearthoughthenightisgone

    Image credits: jumpingjacktrash

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    Image credits: roachpatrol

    We here at Bored Panda are very safety conscious. So we believe that taping a knife onto your Roomba is a bad idea. (Unless you have to fight off evil alien monsters, that is.) However, maintaining your Roomba, if you have one, is something that all owners should do. After all, your tiny robot-helper can clean everything. Just not itself.

    Cnet explains that things like hair, dust, and dirt get stuck in your Roomba and can affect its performance. In other words, your Roomba vacuums less efficiently and its battery comes under stress. And we wouldn’t want that for our lil’ robo-buddy now, would we?

    So what can we do? Well, if you have the patience for it, you ought to clean out the grime and gunk that builds up in your robot cleaner (including its filters) after every cleaning cycle.

    Then, once every week, you should deep clean your Roomba’s brushes with a comb and other cleaning tools. Don’t forget to remove debris from the robot’s bearings and front wheel, too.

    And then once a month, you ought to remove your Roomba’s cover with a screwdriver and clear out the dust and dirt building up inside of it. It’s best to use a dustcloth (dry, not wet) or compressed air to do that. And there you go—your Roomba’s all fit to continue cleaning your spaceship!

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    People loved Stabby the Space Roomba and shared their appreciation

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    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Read less »
    Jonas Grinevičius

    Jonas Grinevičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    Read less »

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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    Random Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, Tumblr is a dumpster fire of a social platform, but the humans-are-space-orcs and Earth-is-space-Australia posts never fail to amuse me.

    Matt Massery
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this was done better 7 years ago by RoosterTeeth: Happy Hour #1 - Roomba Death Match | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwtxWL0P9wA

    Load More Comments
    Random Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, Tumblr is a dumpster fire of a social platform, but the humans-are-space-orcs and Earth-is-space-Australia posts never fail to amuse me.

    Matt Massery
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this was done better 7 years ago by RoosterTeeth: Happy Hour #1 - Roomba Death Match | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwtxWL0P9wA

    Load More Comments
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