Teens Will Bail On Aunt’s Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Families fight; trust me, it’s as natural as breathing because, in the end, it’s only with the people closest to us that we express our anger. Sometimes, it’s wise not to take these family feuds seriously as you might end up doing something rash that you regret later.

Even the original poster’s (OP) kids were caught up in a family feud after their aunt claimed that competition from their private school was making education difficult for her son. After she immediately said that her son’s education was more important, the angry niece and nephew decided to ditch her wedding!

More info: Mumsnet

At times, it’s best not to take family feuds seriously, or we might end up doing something we regret later

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster’s daughter was set to be a bridesmaid and her son an usher in her sister-in-law’s wedding in 3 weeks’ time

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Image credits: comfortablynumber

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Image credits: Julia M Cameron / Pexels (not the actual photo

During a family dinner, a feud erupted after the poster’s son mentioned how he was planning to apply for the local school and leave his private school

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Image credits: comfortablynumber

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The sister-in-law’s son also wants to apply to the local school, so she got furious with the niece and nephew and said her son deserves better education

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Image credits: comfortablynumber

They were angry and refused to attend her wedding, so the poster is now torn as she also understands things from the sister-in-law’s point of being a mom concerned about her kid

Yet again, we dive into a story about a family feud that erupted 3 weeks before OP’s sister-in-law’s wedding, where her daughter was set to be a bridesmaid and her son an usher. Both her kids are in a private school, but her sister-in-law disapproves of this as her kid is in another school.

During a family lunch, the subject of education popped up and the poster expressed how her kids are planning to apply for the local state school for 6th form as the private school is very expensive. This was what set off the kids’ aunt because even her son wants to apply there, but with kids from private schools, the competition may be really fierce.

The aunt said she finds it unfair that her son might not get in, but then she went a step ahead and said that her nephew should go anywhere else as he would do fine. Basically, she blatantly meant that her son should have a better education than them, so, of course, the two kids were angry to find out how little their aunt cares about them.

The poster, on the other hand, is still sympathetic to the aunt’s son as she knows he has really struggled in his school and his grades also haven’t been too good, so the competition will definitely be tough for him. The fight grew so tense that OP’s mother-in-law literally burst into tears and that’s when people calmed down a little.

Now, the real conundrum arose as the poster’s kids simply refused to attend the wedding after what their aunt said to them. The mom knows that the kids love their aunt and they will later regret not going. Also, they’re kids and don’t know the consequences it could have on the entire family.

She posted her problem online and sought advice from netizens, and as usual, they didn’t disappoint.

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo

As per Statista, in 2023, the average fee for one year at a private school in the UK was 16,656 British pounds; no wonder the kids are planning to apply for a local state school. They have every right to do so, and the aunt has no right to blame them for it or state that they don’t deserve a better education.

People also mentioned that they understood the kids’ anger towards her, but they advised that they just see it through for one day, or else they will just intensify the whole conflict. Not to forget, the poster also mentioned that all the wedding preparation is done.

A study states that, on average, a bridesmaid spends around $1200 on a wedding, which is a lot! OP’s daughter is a bridesmaid, so she must’ve spent a lot not just on her but also on her son. Canceling at the last minute in this manner would be very troublesome for the aunt.

Some Redditors commented that they understood the plight of the woman who simply wants a better education for her son, which all parents want. However, they felt that with the stress of the wedding, she displaced her anger in the wrong place, her niece and nephew. They said that the poster must be stuck in a very tricky situation and handling it delicately is key to keeping the family relations intact.

Folks also said that the poster seems very kind as she has thought about the situation from her kids’ as well as their aunt’s perspective. When someone said something nasty about the aunt in the comments, she jumped to her rescue and mentioned that she is actually a good person and she understood why she snapped at that point.

Well, that’s all from our end, now we hand the mic over to you, so just jot down your thoughts in the comments!

Many folks advised that even if the aunt was wrong, the kids should go to the wedding as they may regret it later if they don’t

Teens Will Bail On Aunt's Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

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Do you think the niece and nephew were justified in refusing to attend the wedding?

POST

Ace 1 month ago

Go to the wedding. Remain civil. This is not worth dividing your family over, you're free to just ignore everything she says and thinks about how you educate your children, and how she does with hers.

20points

Joe Bloe 1 month ago

This is really badly explained...

15points

Gen X Feral 1 month ago

I haven't the foggiest fluckin idea wth is going on except it's about going to school. I feel like I just got lmnop'd to death after barely through the first 2 paragraphs. In the US it's kindergarten then 1st through 12th, then college, boom.

2points

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Korok 1 month ago

This school system sounds awful!

15points

Sunny Day 1 month ago

If school is a marathon, OPs kids got a paid ride to 20ft from the finish line, while the other kids had to run the whole way. But the prizes go to whoever finishes first, no matter how they got there. There is the same thing in the US. Some states give scholarships to the top student in every high school. So you have a student who is #5 in their school, who knows they can't win there. So they switch to a poorer school for their last year, where they are now #1. And the poor kid who previously had the #1 spot there, who went to that school district his whole life, with old tech, violence, d***s in the halls, etc - he's now #2 and won't be getting a scholarship out. SIL is right. OPs kids are screwing over the cheap school students.

18points

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Papa 1 month ago

Others may disagree, but in my opinion this is a teaching opportunity. The teenagers need to learn that we can disagree with people but still maintain good relationships with them.

11points

marcelo D. 1 month ago

I love the amount of comments here saying “the kids should suck it up, they are children and they don’t know their actions would have long lasting consequences”, yet none of this people seem to grasp that the aunt is an adult, and should have grasp all the consequences her actions would have… weird

6points

Kangaroo 1 month ago

I didn’t understand 90% of the context

5points

Debbie 1 month ago

Same... Didn't even get the ages of the kids...(Later on that mention teenagers, and going to another school so I think 12?

3points

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Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 1 month ago

Can someone explain the British school system for the Americans who don't get it? Americans go to HS for 4 years (9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade). I've always thought our 12th grade was the equivalent of A levels?

4points

JK 1 month ago

Ok, UK has Infant school, which is Reception (ages 4-5), Year 1 (5-6) Year 2 (6-7), then Junior school covers Years 3-6 (ages 7-11). A Primary school is one that covers Infants-Juniors (4-11). Secondary School is more like American High School, which is Years 7-11 (ages 11-16), after that you have either College or Sixth Form. Sixth Form is ages 16-18/9 and is within a School, College is similar but is it's own facility and any age can go to learn there, you tend to do vocational/trade (NVQ) courses or "A levels" which are basically advanced versions of subjects but not degree/masters level. University is just like it is in the States. Hope this helps (it is confusing!)

8points

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lenka 1 month ago

I think the children sound a little entitled and that this is an excellent opportunity to teach them just how privileged they are and exactly how much they personally have benefited from a user pays education system. Then enlighten them what it's like for their cousin, who didn't get those opportunities due to financial constraints and try and make them understand WHY she is upset. Finally, ask them how they would feel if their aunt boycotted their weddings/graduations/other events due to an injustice over which they had little control. If the kids still don't understand their privilege and respect their aunt's position then both the parent and their expensive education have failed them.

4points

marcelo D. 1 month ago

their aunt is literally telling them they should go to inferior schools because her son is more important and he deserves everything (even stuff he literally doesn't qualify for) and f**k their future. But since you saw the phrase "private school" you made a 100% prejudgement and decided that nothing else matters.

5points

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CBolt 1 month ago (edited)

SIL's anger is misplaced. She's angry with the system & resentful that OP's children have had private education, while her son has gone to rather cr***y schools, which is a terrible thing for him. But there's an undertone of "blame" leveled at OP's family - the parents for having been able to afford private schools & the kids for attending them. And because adding private school kids to the competition will be "unfair" to the students that haven't had the advantages OP's children have, & particularly to SIL's son (I didn't get the impression he would be able to make it thru the competion with flying colors in the 1st place, or at least not be a shoo-in), they should withdraw from it. "He'll be fine anywhere," said abt OP's son - how cavalier. Of course she's angry at the system but she didn't need to take it out on OP's family & some of things she said applied specifically to the children. I don't blame the kids for not wanting to be in the wedding. And SIL's getting that out of control, at the dinner table no less (not the place for political discussions, which is what this comes down to, with some social policy & class consciousness thrown in for good measure), was entirely inappropriate & she needs to apologize - not for having opinions, but for pressing them until things got out of control & for making her remarks personal. (Not cutting her any slack just because she's getting married.) If she wants the wedding party to be what she had planned, a simple, "I'm sorry I let that get out of control - you know how much I care abt you & I'd be so disappointed if you're not in the wedding" & no "unfair," "my son," blah, blah, blah. As for telling the kids to suck it up, smile, & be pleasant & happy for their aunt, obviously they're well brought up but ..... they're teenagers.As angry & hurt as they are, it might be a bit difficult to pull that off

3points

Paul Rabit 1 month ago

That was so many acronyms.

3points

Pamela Blue 1 month ago

I believe they should go to the wedding and keep civil for family reasons. There are really no good reasons for missing it. Having said that, all the "excuses" for why SIL's son didn't get high marks in school do sound like excuses. If he really wanted high marks, he would study himself and even a bad teacher wouldn't stop him. I think he's probably an average kid who, sadly, is running educationally behind two higher achievers, and SIL is just having difficulty accepting it.

2points

Juanita Sullivan 1 month ago

I just want to say that I couldn't get a handle on all the abbreviations in the story which made it next to impossible to understand.

2points

Israel Martinez 1 month ago

First, she mentioned it in such a way that makes it seem like the OP's children were the sole reason for her son not getting into a better class like all the other children coming in from a better school will not be a factor ... Second, if it's that big of a deal, have them attend the wedding, but do not let them participate as bridesmaid and usher ... you CAN hate the system without diminishing or debasing the goals of others ...

2points

Surly Scot 1 month ago

The aunt is riven with envy and jealousy, she's being incredibly immature and unreasonable expecting other children's education to be stunted because she can't afford to put her kids in private school. I was born into a poor family in the East End of Glasgow, my grandmother who raised me on a cleaners salary wanted more for me than the local State-run schools. So she scrimped and saved, busted her butt to move us from Cranill to Dennistoun where the schools were better. After a few years she knew i'd be headed for the local State-run high school, so she spoke to the headmistress of my primary school who gave her some pamphlets and information about scholerships available for private schools. I studied, sat an aptitude test, passed and won a full-ride scholership to a wonderful private school in the West End. The education I received there was a hundred times above what was happening in the State-run schools.

2points

Surly Scot 1 month ago

If you want more for your kids and don't have the financial backing for it, you're going to have to hustle, seek out other forms of funding like scholerships, be prepared to move location so your child has access to better State-run schools, or register your child at another (better) school miles away and trust they can handle themselves on public transport (at 12yrs old I was handed a transport card for the city of Glasgow and told to make my own way from the east end to the west end and back everyday by myself, although i would NEVER recommend this in USA, Glasgow is a relatively safe city). It sucks and is unbelievable hard work, but whining about other parents working to achieve this opportunity for their children helps no one, especially your own kids. Can't expect everyone else's standards to lower because you're not being handed everything on a plate.

3points

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UKGrandad 1 month ago

Even if OP's son did decide to apply to a lesser school it would make no difference to the sister-in-law's son's chances of getting in to the CofE school's 6th form. Half of the kids from OP's son's year are applying; that's 75 kids with high grades, so one less for the other kid - who's grades are middling at best - to compete against is neither here nor there.

1point

Meagan Glaser 1 month ago

Just another case of how a family having money gives the kids way more advantages that they might realize. Pretty rotten that she, an ADULT, is taking it out on individual children. The kids didn't personally attack her child, the system is set up this way because the world is set up this way because capitalmism

1point

Papa 1 month ago

I agree with the first part of that, but would you please explain how capitalism is responsible for the world not being "fair" for everyone, along with your proposed alternative. Is there some utopia out there where everyone has exactly the same opportunities in life?

1point

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Nina 1 month ago

If they don't want to go, then don't make them. If the in-laws couldn't afford private and their kid is middling, that's their issue, no one elses. Kids come from even poorer backgrounds and have such s**t schools yet are highflyers because they worked for it. The school system isn't perfect, but it doesn't mean they're worth less because they were given more.

1point

KatSaidWhat 1 month ago

Go to the wedding on condition that education and school talk is off the table. Then encourage your kids to get the best grades ever and an offer at the school as a fuq u to her. Her son not doing well is not your problem, that's their problem.

1point

V 1 month ago

They are teenagers, once the initial shock of everything has settled just sit them down and say "hey, you know your aunty loves you, she is just worried about your cousins future." The school system is something that they have to live through so it's not like it's not an age appropriate thing for them to be sheltered from. Sometimes even kids need to hear the whole truth.

1point

Roberta Surprenant 1 month ago

Is a school made by quality of students or of teachers? If teachers are quality the other students should learn just fine.

0points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 month ago

Btw for the non British folks. A grade 7 is the beginning of an A. A 9 is the highest you can get at the equivalent of an A+. A standard pass is a 4

0points

POST

Ace 1 month ago

20points

Joe Bloe 1 month ago

This is really badly explained...

15points

Gen X Feral 1 month ago

2points

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Korok 1 month ago

This school system sounds awful!

15points

Sunny Day 1 month ago

18points

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Papa 1 month ago

Others may disagree, but in my opinion this is a teaching opportunity. The teenagers need to learn that we can disagree with people but still maintain good relationships with them.

11points

marcelo D. 1 month ago

6points

Kangaroo 1 month ago

I didn’t understand 90% of the context

5points

Debbie 1 month ago

Same... Didn't even get the ages of the kids...(Later on that mention teenagers, and going to another school so I think 12?

3points

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Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 1 month ago

4points

JK 1 month ago

8points

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lenka 1 month ago

4points

marcelo D. 1 month ago

5points

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CBolt 1 month ago (edited)

3points

Paul Rabit 1 month ago

That was so many acronyms.

3points

Pamela Blue 1 month ago

2points

Juanita Sullivan 1 month ago

I just want to say that I couldn't get a handle on all the abbreviations in the story which made it next to impossible to understand.

2points

Israel Martinez 1 month ago

2points

Surly Scot 1 month ago

2points

Surly Scot 1 month ago

3points

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UKGrandad 1 month ago

1point

Meagan Glaser 1 month ago

1point

Papa 1 month ago

1point

Load More Replies...

Nina 1 month ago

1point

KatSaidWhat 1 month ago

1point

V 1 month ago

1point

Roberta Surprenant 1 month ago

Is a school made by quality of students or of teachers? If teachers are quality the other students should learn just fine.

0points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 month ago

Btw for the non British folks. A grade 7 is the beginning of an A. A 9 is the highest you can get at the equivalent of an A+. A standard pass is a 4

0points

Teens Will Bail On Aunt’s Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

At times, it’s best not to take family feuds seriously, or we might end up doing something we regret later

The poster’s daughter was set to be a bridesmaid and her son an usher in her sister-in-law’s wedding in 3 weeks’ time

During a family dinner, a feud erupted after the poster’s son mentioned how he was planning to apply for the local school and leave his private school

The sister-in-law’s son also wants to apply to the local school, so she got furious with the niece and nephew and said her son deserves better education

They were angry and refused to attend her wedding, so the poster is now torn as she also understands things from the sister-in-law’s point of being a mom concerned about her kid

Many folks advised that even if the aunt was wrong, the kids should go to the wedding as they may regret it later if they don’t

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Teens Will Bail On Aunt’s Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument

At times, it’s best not to take family feuds seriously, or we might end up doing something we regret later

The poster’s daughter was set to be a bridesmaid and her son an usher in her sister-in-law’s wedding in 3 weeks’ time

During a family dinner, a feud erupted after the poster’s son mentioned how he was planning to apply for the local school and leave his private school

The sister-in-law’s son also wants to apply to the local school, so she got furious with the niece and nephew and said her son deserves better education

They were angry and refused to attend her wedding, so the poster is now torn as she also understands things from the sister-in-law’s point of being a mom concerned about her kid

Many folks advised that even if the aunt was wrong, the kids should go to the wedding as they may regret it later if they don’t

Poll Question

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