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All those in favor of renaming ‘cough drops’ to ‘medicine beans’ and ‘knives’ to ‘kitchen swords,’ raise your hands and say, ‘Aye!’ Some of the biggest advantages of being a kid include unlimited naptime, having little to no responsibilities, and being able to speak your mind. For example, when you don’t know a word, you simply unleash your imagination and work around it in the most creative way possible.

Kristen Mulrooney is an editor at the humor publication The Belladonna, and one of the most interesting humorists and parents you can follow on Twitter. Her anecdotes about her life as a mom-of-three are hilarious and relatable. Recently, she went viral after sharing how her 3-year-old daughter called cough drops ‘medicine beans,’ and inspired other parents to share their own stories about the creative workarounds their kids had for some words. Scroll down for their awesome tweets, and get ready to have a good giggle. Oh, and don’t forget to upvote your fave stories.

Bored Panda reached out to Kristen with a few questions about her post, how to help kids remain creative and confident as they start school, and what advice she'd give new parents if they're feeling overwhelmed by everything. Read on for the full interview!

This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has featured writer and satirist Kristen’s fun and witty Twitter threads. You’ll find our previous article about the Mystery of the Missing Apple Cores right over here

More info: Twitter | Instagram | KristenMulrooney.com

Image credits: missmulrooney

#1

Kids-Creative-Words

tracesthings Report

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Emily M
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When i was little, i didn't know how to talk about something that happened in the past if it wasn't yesterday so i would use "a different day ago..."

Ember the Fire Bee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember my younger sister asking for “Red meat worms” as a kid. It was spaghetti and meatballs.

David Harp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those examples are great! At 20 months, My daughter was entranced to see her first Halloween jack-o’-lantern that we had carved. Complete with candle in it, of course. At the time, we had a gas stove. The next day, she went to it and told us: “Turn stove on in punquin”. It was her first complete and complicated sentence. We were not just amazed at the words themselves, but at the way she had Combined concepts and expressed herself so clearly! At 30, She is now a member of a combined Harvard and MIT think tank, working on Covid…

Professore CG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When she was 3 years old my daughter came home from nursery school and was so excited to tell me she had seen a 'lamb puppy dog'. This was a fluffy poodle.

Christopher Seaton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like this 3yo would be thrilled to learn that the word for the day after tomorrow is 'overmorrow'

Cheryl Gyles
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, it makes more sense...yesterday, today, and nexterday.

AnnaRachelle
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 2 year old started trying to say breakfast,it came out as bastard lol

Liza BK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine wanted more chicken broth and asked for more "soup drink"!

JoJo Anisko
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The word tomorrow contains three Os, and each one is pronounced differently. Gotta love rules of English.

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Bored Panda was incredibly curious to learn what went through Kristen's head when she first heard the term 'medicine beans.'

"I loved how confident my daughter was when she said it, and rightfully so because I knew exactly what she was talking about," Kristen, who runs the humor publication The Belladonna, shared with us.

"She's the youngest of my three children and I've spent the last five years watching these three little people acquiring language. It's so fascinating to see how they sort it all out and develop workarounds to manage the gaps in their communication."

#2

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Lynne Bear Hugs
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg! As a non religious person, that made me laugh out loud. Very observant and just adorable!

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#3

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Robert T
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We call the bag/pouch for an umbrella an umbrelladom. :D

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Meanwhile, one thing that we've noticed is that it's quite difficult to stay as courageous and creative as when we were kids. There seem to be so many things to worry about when you're a teenager or a grownup! We were curious about Kristen's approach when it comes to helping kids stay creative and confident, as they start attending school.

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"I'm a former teacher and I've surprised myself a little bit with my outlook on school as a parent—I'm finding I'm less concerned with good grades and more focused on my kids finding something that inspires them," she told Bored Panda.

"My oldest is seven years old, which still seems so young, but it's the same age I was when I knew I wanted to be a writer. I try to take his interests seriously because they might be a huge part of the adult he grows into." That's the type of optimism and encouragement that we love to hear about. Have a think back to when you were around that age, dear Pandas. What did you want to do back then? (And, perhaps slightly less importantly, do you think it's too late for yours truly to become an intergalactic astronaut?)

#4

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Sue Lynn Chan
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those who are in favor of rename it to kitchen sword, please raise your hand ✋

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ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"here I was riding a horse, with a lion and a tiger on my heels!" "What did you do!?" "Hung on for dear life until the merry go round stopped!"

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Finally, we were interested in Kristen's advice for new parents who might be struggling with everything and might think they have no clue what they're doing. Feeling overwhelmed, however, is something that most parents face.

"I hope all new parents understand that the rest of us are overwhelmed, struggling, and clueless too. The hardest thing for me was feeling like there was something wrong with me because everyone else seemed like they had it together. I write about parenthood because when I was a new parent, it helped me so much to understand that it isn't easy for anyone. And it becomes a lot easier when you give yourself a break," Kristen explained to us.

Writer Kristen’s thread was a wild success. At the time of writing, her post had gotten over 1.6 million views and more than 48.4k likes on the social media platform. But the numbers, though they’re very impressive, are just the icing (aka ‘Christmas glue’) on the cake.

The real victory was getting all of the other parents to open up about their own lives and share stories about their family life. The words and phrases that these parents’ kids use to describe the things that they have no clue what they’re called are beyond hilarious.

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We fully support the idea that there should be a petition to allow for a bit of flexibility in how we speak. For example, we’d love to talk about ‘nexterday’ instead of ‘tomorrow.’ Why call someone ‘bald’ when you can go for the charmingly elegant ‘spoon-headed’? And who needs a knife and fork at the dinner table when you can ask for a fork and a ‘kitchen sword’?

These are all brilliant names for things, and we wish that this sort of verbal playfulness would be a tad more widespread at schools, universities, and workplaces around the world. This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that inspires people to start writing and creating. And we need more of it in real life.

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The last time that Bored Panda reached out to Kristen, we had a chat about writing high-quality, humorous content on Twitter and how parents can get their children to eat something new.

"I'm an editor for humor publication The Belladonna and I always tell our writers that the secret to quality humor is being super specific and super universal at the same time," she explained to us that writing in a relatable way is what’s important.

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"I think that's especially true for tweets. If you can paint the funny scene, that's great, but it really takes off when people can relate to it and have their own funny scene they're eager to share, too,” Kristen shared some great advice for anyone who hopes to stand out on Twitter with their comedic posts.

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#13

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Mr. L
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents called pierogies "potato pockets" because I didn't like pierogies, but potato pockets were heaven. When I was like 6 they told me the truth.

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GoGoPDX
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son would say "I want to wear my tummy" for when he didn't want to wear a shirt. We still use it to this day!.

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Kitty Kat
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a very similar conversation once. Friend's 3 year-old looking for My Little Pony episodes on YouTube: I want the boo boo bed! My friend: What? Me: She wants the one where Rainbow Dash breaks her wing and goes to the hospital. *clicks episode* 3 year-old: Yay! Friend: I never would have figured that out.

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The mom told Bored Panda that two ways that parents can get their kids to try out new foods are ‘bribing’ them and making things as playful as possible.

"My three kids take some convincing with vegetables, but they'll fall for the 'you're a dinosaur and this broccoli is a tree' bit every time," she shared with us during an earlier interview (and we hope all of you Panda Parents are taking notes—the broccoli/tree tactic really works).

"Asparagus is an easy one because I can turn it into a science experiment. They'll shovel asparagus into their mouths after I tell them it makes your pee smell funny,” the mom joked.

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#17

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Samantha Lofgren
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My niece does this too! "Yesterday, when i was a baby..." and then she tells the wildest stories you've ever heard.

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Kristen is based in a small town near Boston. She is the winner of the 2022 Erma Bombeck Humorist-in-Residence program, and her writing has been featured in a wide range of publications, including The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, House Beautiful, The Weekly Humorist, Popular Science, and elsewhere.

She has also co-written Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook, and her writing has appeared in the anthology Embrace the Merciless Joy: The McSweeney’s Internet Tendency Guide to Rearing Small, Medium, and Large Children.

#19

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#20

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SheamusFanFrom1987
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking at the music menu via monocle: I say, the Bach Special looks especially scrumptious but I'm really in the mood for the Beethoven Combo. Bloody decisions...! XP

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One of the best things about parenting tweets is that they show the wide range of ups and downs of family life: there are numerous challenges when raising a child, but all of the funny and wholesome moments more than make up for it.

However, some parents fall into the trap of thinking that they need to be ‘perfect.’ Already exhausted from ‘regular’ parenting, they overwhelm themselves further by putting a lot of additional stress on their shoulders, worried that their children might be ‘lagging behind’ everyone else’s. Whether that’s in terms of education or skills.

#22

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MVSBaltimore Report

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les
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in scotland calling someone a spoon means they're an idiot that cant be trusted with a knife or fork

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As we’ve covered on Bored Panda some time ago, this desire for ‘perfection’ and total control can backfire quite a bit. Not just for the parents, but for their kids, too.

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A childhood independence expert explained to us a while back that it’s a mistake for parents to try to protect their munchkins from ever feeling uncomfortable, frustrated, lonely, or scared. If they do this, their toddlers may grow up to be completely unprepared to deal with the challenges that real life throws at them. They might not be able to handle the unpleasant surprises they’ll have to deal with at school, work, and in other parts of their lives.

#25

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Betta Fish
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean it's not as bad as little me calling an octopus' tentacles testic... you know what you get the gyst

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#26

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Hotdogking
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh my god, when I was younger I was told that the word for people who couldn’t speak was “dumb”. I was reading Harry Potter at the time and came across the word “dumbstruck” so it made sense. But I was quickly corrected that it was actually mute when I was watching tv with my cousins and someone was speaking sign language, so I pointed at them and loudly proclaimed, “Hey, that person is dumb!” 😳😳. It’s a funny family memory now but at the time my parents were mortified!!

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As such, one of the best things that families can do is to encourage kids to be independent, confident, and resilient. You still love them and give them all the support that they need. However, you don’t rush to their aid the moment things get just a tiny bit tough for them.

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Which of these word workarounds made you laugh the most, Pandas? Were there any phrases that you'd prefer to use instead of the real names that people call things? What alternative names have your own children come up with for various things? We'd love to hear from you, so share your thoughts in the comments!

#31

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Ginger Ghost
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

a genius, the technical term is "by word of mouth" so found out by ear is close

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#33

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dotti calhoun
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was about 3, I asked my dad what a boy cheese sandwich tasted like because all I'd eaten were girl cheese sandwiches. My dad actually did a spit take with his beer!

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#37

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Betta Fish
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of when I used to like the imagine dragons song Radioactive but I would say "Videowacktoo!" Im not making that up

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#38

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waddles
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that’s way better than me i silently named it “breakfast puke” because once i threw up something with a remarkable resemblance to breakfast puke

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#39

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Hey!
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My youngest son didn't call the reflex hammer anything but thought the doctor was cool when he used it on him. He came back home and made him a card thanking him for being SO cool, which was on the wall of fame for as long as we went there (~15 years).

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#43

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Monday
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't want to is part of my vocabulary now! I can't want to exercise!

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#48

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Julie Ann Al buzbeba
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter used to call blueberries TICKS....I can't eat blueberries anymore...

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#49

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Betta Fish
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did this make me a little sad? She couldn't touch the sky wall! 😥

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#50

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Kitty Kat
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew a preschooler who said "Whobody wants [food]?" Instead of "Who wants" or "Does anybody want". It was the cutest darn thing, and now I like to like to ask my cats "Whobody wants breakfast?"

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#51

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Betta Fish
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After doing that you drop them back off at their dorms, right?

#53

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Betta Fish
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet again, me trying to contain a dark joke. (oooo ill be an obnoxious youtuber) BuT iF tHiS cOmMeNt GeTs 50 LiKeS I'lL dO iT

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#56

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Ches Yamada
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Appropriate avatar there. But really, I'm not a fan of this "teehee I drink a lot!" trend. Why isn't it okay for me to say "ha ha, I eat to cope" but it's fun and hip to be like "momma needs her happy juice"

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#58

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ISeeWendiGo
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked with a 29 year old woman that called cul-de-sacs the culture sacs. She also would order "puh-sketti" when our boss would take us to Olive Garden for lunch at times.

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#68

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Hotdogking
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could be worse. After watching Star Wars for the first time when I was 4, my mum showed it to me when I was home sick, I called Life savers (those orange rings you find on beaches or by lakes) Life Sabers for ages before I figured out what it really was

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#69

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V33333P
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an adult I forgot the word for soda water (which I don't like) and went with "white noise drink"

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#71

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waddles
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

quite an accurate description for fashionable harbingers of agony

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#75

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Betta Fish
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to say peni- (Don't dislike bot me I'm not kidding they had to teach me the real word after I did it in public)

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