Because I cut it in half. I murdered it. I'm a waffle assassin. A wa-sassin

Because "it's broken. Please direct your attention to the 1.5 millimeter offensive chip in the graham cracker at the top. This is now garbage.

Because I broke the carrots. HELLO, I MADE OLAF

Because she doesn't eat chicken legs. Only "nuggets and boobs."

Because she wanted dinner. I called it supper. My bad

Because, and I quote: "Elsa's too tall."

Because it's a bar of soap. Didn't stop him from trying though.

Because according to my 7 y/o, it's a "big pot of nope."

Because "red is a scary color."

Because she didn't want a Nutella sandwich. She wants the entire jar of Nutella and a spoon

Because she asked me to cut it in half and then decided that's not what she wanted. "Back!" she says. Unfortunately for her, her mother is a muggle and her repair-o spell is useless. Unfortunately for her mother, she doesn't think that's any excuse. Side note - she is currently tearing her new, whole circle sandwich into lots of parts. I'm trying to remain calm.

Because "it's what monkeys eat and I'm not a monkey."

Because I'm making her share it with her brother and she "literally can't even." She's five

Corn unless I cut it off the cob. He's 27.

Because I refuse to cut it up and pour milk over it like cereal.

Because shells go in the ocean. He was upset when I ate my portion

Because "it's dirty." On Earth we call this "seasoning."

Because they look like feet and have toes at the end.

Because they scared the crap out of her

Because the pizza is cut in squares not triangles and square pizza is too fancy.

She can't eat these M&Ms because they have a "w" on them. She ate the ones with an "m."

Because a lion touched it. In her defense, the lion does appear to be on something

Because she doesn't have as many as she is years old.

Because it's broken. Fun Fact: He tore it up himself.

Because there are bites taken out of them. Bites she took.

Because it's broken. I said "it's not broken, you just made more chips" and he tried to hit me. Oh look it's nap time

Because "the ice cream is melting and the gummy bears are drowning."

Because daddy opened it. Makes sense. His man hands changed the flavor.

Because she doesn't eat triangles.

Because it has too many colors. That's fine I'll take his slice and eat all the chemicals. I'm a giver like that.

Because it's too yellow. Someone please get this child some turquoise corn.

Because my son says there are too many colors and it hurts his eyes. My daughter carried the zucchini home from the farmers market like a baby, so she won't dare eat it.

Bought this sandwich cutter, hoping my toddler might be more interested in eating. Why does it look like I just beat the crap out of Elmo?

Because it's made out of "kitty cats."

Because it has wrinkles like Grandma Mimi so it's old."

Because "it's too cute.

Because apparently I put lotion all over the carrots

Bacon because it looks like shrimp and he doesn't eat shrimp.

Because after eating some of it I said "It looks like you like it." He then decided he hated it.

"The food face I made for Caden's lunch on Sunday that he refused to eat. He said it would kill him. Tears people, there were tears

Because "it's broken " .. Meaning that crease on the top right

Because he asked for regular pancakes not Mickey pancakes.

Because it looks like a Christmas stocking and he wants to hang it by the fireplace.

Because while pretzels are yummy, and Goldfish are delicious, pretzel Goldfish are PURE BLASPHEMY.

My kid can't eat this crust because "those are the bread handles and I can't eat the sandwich if I eat the handles."

Because it's not Halloween candy.

Carson wanted an egg in a nest for lunch. Specifically star-shaped. So I bust out the 12 grain bread and get to work. He was excited to receive it, but then he asked me to cut it diagonally. Sure, I said. He then proceeded to stare at it in disgust, completely appalled by the abomination in front of him, refusing to touch it because it's now "broken"

Because there's a hole in it. A hole that she put there with her thumb.

Because I woke up early to make her this breakfast and she wants freaking cereal. She's having a total meltdown.

Because there are noodles in his chicken noodle soup.

Because the cereal is talking to her. It's ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!!

Four course breakfast because
1) "somebody licked my toast"
2) "the cereal is too bright"
3) "the yogurt tastes like Popsicles"
4) "the blueberries are too small. And too big."
And 5) Because she's a toddler and her sole purpose is to make me lose the will to live

Because the peel is still on. Didn't stop him from trying though.

Because "there's WEEDS in them!!"

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich he asked for because it has peanut butter and jelly on it

Until I remove all the strings and cut off the "butt nugget" (black part at the end)

Organic, all natural, overpriced marshmallow because it's a square. He doesn't eat squares.

Because it has a scary smile.

Because she's "full." This is breakfast. Full from what? Your dreams?

Because there's hair in it. Sophia The First's hair...from the design on the plate.

Because the cheese on her grilled cheese is "too soft" and "there's like cheese everywhere."

Because it's a skeleton. It's an English muffin.

Because it looks like Yoda. And he can't eat Yoda.

Peanut butter Nutella s'mores toast with a marshmallow face because "she doesn't want to be eaten."