Kids’ birthday parties are on an entirely different level compared to those of adults. Of course, bouncy castles, Disney character impersonators, and food trucks can be a lot of fun, but organizing such a celebration often leaves parents with a plethora of questions. Should they prepare goodie bags for the children? When do they cut the cake? And most importantly, should they invite the neighbors?

Since the relationship between redditor Brilliant_Sound3258 and her neighbors wasn’t the coziest, she decided not to extend the birthday invitation to them. However, this didn’t stop them from showing up, making the whole thing awkward. 

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Gemma Bradley director and founder of Cheshire Party Planner, who kindly agreed to tell us all about guest lists and kids’ birthday parties.

Ensuring that no one feels left out while planning a birthday celebration can be tough

Image credits: Jon Tyson / unsplash (not the actual photo)

This woman thought her neighbors wouldn’t mind not being invited. That is until they unexpectedly showed up

Image credits: Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Sadman Chowdhury / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits:  Miriam Salgado / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Brilliant_Sound3258

“If they are friends with children in the neighborhood then yes invite them, but not if you don’t know them”

The guest list of a kids’ party is quite a big deal. It’s not just about the numbers; it has become almost a microcosm of social dynamics that can break or make the celebration. And the parents are usually the ones left to decide who makes the cut.

Essentially, the end goal is to have an inclusive guest list with people who are closest to your kid and are a part of their support system. Gemma Bradley director and founder of Cheshire Party Planner tells Bored Panda that the usual guest list for 5-year-olds and above mostly includes the children from their group at school. “If it’s a small school, then you could invite the whole class. However, if there are 60 in a year group, like at my daughter’s school, you have to just choose who the birthday child is friendly with,” she mentions.

She further suggests, “If they are under 5, I would say to just invite family and the child’s close friends from nursery or family friends. The child, whatever age, tends to hang out with their best friends anyway so as long as they are there, the day will be memorable for the child, if all you can afford is a small party.

When it comes to neighbors, Bradley says, “If they are friends with children in the neighborhood then yes invite them, but not if you don’t know them.” In case they still show up without an invitation she recommends being polite. “Just diplomatically say, ‘Oh I didn’t you were coming, I’m sure there’ll be enough food for them to join in’.

Then at least you’ve planted the seed that if there isn’t enough food to go around, it’s because some people have just shown up. At a quiet moment, just say to the parent, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know your child was coming so I haven’t got a party bag for them (if you don’t have a spare) but I’m sure they’ll be a piece of cake for them to take.”

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If it so happens that your child doesn’t end up invited, it’s important not to feel instantly hurt

Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)

Some additional kid’s birthday party rules that Bradly emphasizes are always RSVPing even if the child won’t be able to attend. “The host has to have at least a week (2 weeks would be better!) to let the caterers know how many people they are making the food for and the host needs to know how big the cake needs to be and how many party bags to make. And do let them know if there are any allergies to make the caterers aware,” she explains.

She also says, “I’m sure most people know this but bring a birthday card and present obviously! However, kids have so much these days and parents only have so much room in the house. So sometimes it’s nice to ask the parents if a voucher would be better for the birthday girl or boy to pick something themselves. One year, my daughter got six jewelry-making kits! It can stop wastage which is good for the environment.”

If it so happens that your child doesn’t end up invited, it’s important not to feel hurt instantly. Most likely, this has nothing to do with your kid not being popular or liked by other children. Perhaps the party didn’t have a big enough budget, or they were only inviting a select group of kids from their class or soccer team. It also could have been a girls-only or boys-only celebration.

Besides, not getting an invitation can be a great time to teach your children that “they can’t always be invited to everything.” The earlier they learn to deal with rejection in healthy ways, the more hurt feelings they’ll avoid in the future.

Most readers supported the woman escorting her neighbors from the party

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Meanwhile, others thought it was rude

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