40 People Who Destroyed Themselves To Insult Someone Else, Shared In This Online Group

Ashley Fernandes 3 years ago

S**t shaming ends eventually but small d**k rumors last forever.

95points

Na Schi Premium 3 years ago

My saying, you haven't even to admit to have sex. Just mention his toothpick little wiener and his great failure of of even find your clit, which you denied almost cause of his dirt-scraped, unmaintained finger nails... The woman will buy this without question, the men will laugh and then start silently to look at their own hands... (or most of them).

28points

Janet C 3 years ago

When my sister was in high school one of the local bullies started a rumor that he'd had sex with her. She came home crying. Mom told her to say the following and it worked like a charm. He never got over it: "He tried, but he was really tiny and he never could even get it up so he finally gave up and made me promise to tell. But he told so I guess it's ok for me to as well."

64points

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣_𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 3 years ago

Your mom is the best!

21points

Holly Stevens 3 years ago

This, this is the best response

8points

Michael Fuhry 3 years ago

I think your mom needs some sort of medal.

6points

Ovrxpozed 3 years ago

I had to do this because a guy at work wanted to be cool for "dibs on the new girl" his friends didn't believe me till I stared saying it was the worst lay ever and it spread like wildfire. By the end of the shift he was still telling people that he was kidding and we didn't hook up

63points

Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago

This is a life hack. Wish to know when I was in high school.

52points

Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago

Just say "No. He couldn't even get it up."

28points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

I work in public transportation. I quite often get nasty people trying to insult me by calling me a "Filthy F*g9ot" I usually reply with "This is unacceptable! I took a long shower this morning!" You can hear the cogs grinding in their heads ⚙⚙

25points

Lara Verne 3 years ago

Tell him you're pregnant. Best right in front of his friends.

18points

Stephanie Keith 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Serial pacifist 3 years ago

Flawless victory.

14points

John L 3 years ago

Yep, owning it is key to disarming it.

13points

Research shows that one way to spot a self-aware leader with high emotional intelligence is to see if they make self-deprecating jokes. This type of humor indicates that they’re aware of their flaws and can talk about them with a laugh and a smile. However, at the same time, self-deprecation can be taken too far. For instance, if it becomes a reflex and if you actually start believing in the punchlines, it’s time to self-reflect and switch tracks.

The lead moderator running ‘Kamikaze By Words’ shared with Bored Panda that the subreddit “didn't actually start as a self-deprecating r/suicidebywords derivative.” They revealed that “it was initially set up as an inside joke between my friends and me about people essentially ‘canceling’ themselves.”

#2

Failure Contest

Final score:

1Kpoints

POST

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

168points

SilentBob731 3 years ago

One up for Cecily, one down for Beta. Wasn't gonna click at all but Beta seems whiney so that's what happens. ;-)

4points

Diane DeOrio 3 years ago

If the earth were flat, my cats would have pushed everything off by now.

41points

Harri Ellis 3 years ago

mine would have helped.

7points

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Maaaan I love this response.

1point

Terry Tobias 3 years ago

Lol! 😼

1point

Lex 3 years ago

And my German Shepherd would have knocked me off it

0points

Rez Fidel 3 years ago

Nice

0points

UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago (edited)

“No discernible curve” and “no curve” are two very, very different things. I can’t see the pixels on my phone—so there are none! I can’t the molecules in my sofa—so there are none! Flat earthers really are the stupidest of the stupid.

21points

Troux 3 years ago

For anyone who suffers from impostor syndrome, just take some time to read Facebook comments. You may suddenly realize that you're well above average after all!

20points

Potato 3 years ago

You know those warnings that seem super obvious, like "don't eat this plastic bag"? Those exist because someone tried it.

20points

KombatBunni 3 years ago

That does make me feel a bit better, thanks :)

5points

Angie Bracken 3 years ago

Hahahahaha

0points

Lance d'Boyle 3 years ago

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” ― George Carlin

16points

Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago

He really made some good points.

4points

Bobbie Meyers 3 years ago

I can't comprehend how flat earthers think the oceans work...

11points

GoddessOdd 3 years ago

I think the oceans must flow over the edge, pick up all the items knocked off by cats, and by some mysterious hydraulic force, are pumped back up thru the hole in the center of the earth, where they redeposit the cat items. It's all very mysterious, and you know, scientists don't want you to know any of this.

16points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

Can we all agree that their encephalogram is a flat line?

8points

Mazer 3 years ago

Yup, I keep thinking I need to send out some Thank you cards. Making me look good isn’t not an easy task

5points

Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago

Actually, if you really look closely at the picture, there IS a curve there. It’s just slight to the point of almost imperceptible. But it is still there.

4points

Marcellus II 3 years ago

Nah, if you can't see it with the naked eye it doesn't exist. Like bacteria, atoms, ... , intelligence, .. .

14points

Bobby 3 years ago

Why flat earthers has a crush on boys? Flat Chests.

3points

Jacob Nunez 3 years ago

I mean girls can also have flat chests🤷🏽‍♂️

0points

#3

Internet Parents Who Quote Things That Their Kids Didn’t Say

Final score:

1Kpoints

POST

Lara Verne 3 years ago

My cat agrees.

493points

DuchessDegu 3 years ago

The pigeon outside also agrees and all the other birds are clapping

76points

IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago

My dog seconds it.☺

28points

Amanita Virosa 3 years ago

My chihuahuas and I were just talking about that exact thing. ;)

23points

GoddessOdd 3 years ago

I don't know if my cats agree or not. They are currently involved in a round table dialog regarding this phenomenon. I will confer with them after the symposium.

22points

Louloubelle 3 years ago

My daughter's tarantula, Speedwagon, concurs.

21points

Mazer 3 years ago

I have to say I like the bumper stickers that read “my pet is an honor student at (fill in the blank) school”. Having been given the side eye by my own dog who was patiently waiting for me it “get it” with regards to an obedience issue, I can relate to all pet owners who have been aced by their pet

9points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

Mine too but mine did meow at a very early age!

7points

Emo Sloth 3 years ago

My houseplant nods in deep thought

6points

Zophra 3 years ago

Best comment I've read today! Thanks for the smile!

5points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

My unicorn along with my imaginary friends approve too

4points

Earl Grey 3 years ago

Mr. Bimbo says so, too. 54C0888D-2...2-jpeg.jpg

4points

Ed Gomaz 3 years ago

My left boot agrees but, my right boot wants their kid to run for president in 2024.

3points

Anjelika 3 years ago

My goldfish agree

3points

BabyBooby 3 years ago

My cat said it🥳

2points

Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)

As do these moths that came in tonight. Plus the new weeds in the yard.

2points

Leodavinci 3 years ago

Presumably because he told you so.

2points

Cocoa pop 3 years ago

So does my goldfish

1point

GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago

I gave you an upvote because you said cat agreed...even tho I know you're lying. Cats NEVER agree with anything a human says. 😉

1point

Rumple Schleppskin 3 years ago

My dog just turned his head all wonky, like.. Did you learn Chinese while you were napping there? .. Cause it looked like you were talking to me, but I didn't hear.. : food, ball, outside, treat, bath, go for ride, or walk... So I dunno WTF you're talking about.

1point

Marco Conti 3 years ago

Mine does too, but he put his answer in the form of a sonnet.

0points

buttonpusher 3 years ago

Me and my 4 year old spent a half hour talking about poopoo cake and all the people he would kick off his spaceship if he had one.

40points

Little king trash mouth 3 years ago

My two year old just realized he has nipples and was fascinated that he has "two nupples, mommy! Two!"

22points

Serial pacifist 3 years ago (edited)

“There is a sense of freudian trauma expressed by those who falsely address quotes to their children. It also involves certain Nietzchean aspect of nihilistic contempt for the world immersed in frivolous superficiality of existence, thus subjected to a grotesque caricaturization manifested through alleged thoughts of an undeveloped mind.” - my niece, age 1,5.

38points

Angelar 3 years ago

My cat says it's spelled "Nietzschean".

24points

TahJia Williams 3 years ago

the "oh f**k off Rebecca..." is what got me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

18points

phil blanque 3 years ago

My son said:"I am considering the existential importance of my being born. Can I make a difference or should I just pass to the next life?" He is still six weeks in the womb!!!

17points

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

Wow! What a child! I thought it was cool when my 2 year old said "I peed. Yay!!!"

12points

Elise Hansen 3 years ago

eeeeeeeey my ferret loves this!!!!

7points

Varghese Philip 3 years ago

My guinea pig is like, "Wait, what??" 😳

10points

Solidhog 3 years ago

Books can be destroyed. And there are words once used commonly that people have forgotten about and are no longer used.

6points

Potato 3 years ago

Oh, give the kid a break, he's only 3! :D

8points

Tinykame 3 years ago

My oldest and I were talking about robot bumbots at 3 and he ate a light bulb at age 4, but he also engineered a perpetual motion machine when he was 2, so I judge not 😂

5points

Glirpy 3 years ago

At age 2, children are perpetual motion machines.

3points

Sue Bradley 3 years ago

My dog would enter the discussion, but he's doing his studies for his dissertation :,-)

3points

The group of friends started talking about ‘Kamikaze’ out of their general interest in Japanese culture and customs. “There's even an unofficial KamikazeByWords Discord that's honestly just a bunch of people watching anime and unsubtitled Japanese dramas. Bit of a mystery that one, but I guess the Japanese themes stuck around with the core members,” they noted the strong link to Japanese culture.

#4

2 For The Price Of 1

Final score:

991points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

LOL. Just so friggin good. I love this come back!

223points

Annamagelic 3 years ago

Is looking like Winnie the Pooh a bad thing? He's adorable, who doesn't like Pooh? I may have to invest in some crop tops now, preferably red ones.

62points

Happy_Pandalover 3 years ago

i‘m skinny and toned. sometimes when i i‘ve eaten too much or am bloated i will look like winnie the pooh. who cares. all i know is that ate a delicious meal.

17points

Rosie Hamilton 3 years ago

The original Winnie the Pooh didn't wear a crop top - the earlier illustrations showed him without one as well. Irrelevant I know but they're really cute and worth looking up.

4points

Droopsnoot 3 years ago

According to the chinese president it is

1point

BabyBooby 3 years ago

Good answer Good answer...in my family fued voice 🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰🥳

1point

MockingbirdTheWolf 3 years ago

I don't like winnie the pooh.

0points

Vicky Z 3 years ago (edited)

I wish i would look like Winnie the pooh! I think i look like Ovelix with a crop top

0points

Serial pacifist 3 years ago

Great return…game, set and match.

19points

Cassidy ChillRose 3 years ago

She isn't wrong though, those eyebrows look like the result of somebody setting the eyebrow slider as far out as it can go...

12points

Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago

You would even been underweight if you would walk her forehead.

9points

Varghese Philip 3 years ago

And walking in the empty space between the ears might overdo it.

43points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Oooohhhhhhh! Skin grafts stat!

6points

Ali Sherlock 3 years ago

BURN

4points

Tim 3 years ago

the eyebrows are so far apart because of the burn!

3points

Lainie 3 years ago

Maybe from some of her previous burns (seems to me that she gets them easily), because this burn has happened after?

2points

Loty 3 years ago

This is terrible and not funny. Both are aweful.

2points

Frannie Kaplan 3 years ago

It's hilarious

1point

im.bored.person 3 years ago

DAMN

2points

#5

British Kamikazebywords

Final score:

822points

POST

El muerto 3 years ago

Gandhi agrees from the grave...he would have found Brexit most interesting...so you want to brake free from an domineering power? go figure

103points

Sander Van Loo 3 years ago (edited)

I don't think you understand Europe very well if you consider the European Union a domineering power 😂. Quite the opposite, it's a collobaration...

38points

Dave Reed 3 years ago

Some Brits (e.g. me) are absolutely gutted about Brexit and also ashamed of our colonial past 😔

16points

I-Hate-Everyone 3 years ago

Gandhi was a horrible pervert. Read about him

7points

Maddie Star ⭐ 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Hugh Cookson 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Mohammad Ammar 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Full English 3 years ago

What has Ireland to do with the UK?

6points

Leodavinci 3 years ago

Funny, since the history of the British Isles from pre-history to the 14th Century is way worse than that of the U.S. Is there any white person there who isn't descended from any number of invaders from various parts of Europe?

14points

Angie Bracken 3 years ago

Religious freedom mean anything to you..some of us truly are grateful to Britain for that or just plain freedom, period

10points

Carrie de Luka 3 years ago

I'm confused as to your meaning Leodavinci? Are you referring to Britain's history as a country that was invaded multiple times? That is a fact after all. Many of us are likely to be descended from some country that invaded some other country. It is sad. There is too much finger pointing and blaming people for the actions of our ancestors, for many of whom will not have had any say in the decisions made by those who ruled them at the time.

7points

Droopsnoot 3 years ago

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phil blanque 3 years ago

Honest....Frankly, the US should join in.

14points

Solidhog 3 years ago

I don't know. America seems to be catching up.

12points

Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago

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Rachael Sampson 3 years ago

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Serial pacifist 3 years ago

Yep, would need to extend the year beyond 365 days to mark each event.

8points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

You sound like a first grade asshole and apparently you don't mind showing it to all! (your asshole I mean!)

6points

Tee Witt 3 years ago

For goodness sake, grow up

6points

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 3 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Sofie 3 years ago

This is why they presented us with Ed Sheeran, to win everyone's love over 🤔

5points

Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago

For some reason people on this thread get really upset when you point out that most Americans aren't British,. Super weird and over sensitive. Grow some skin.

2points

Twodogsandapicnictable 3 years ago

Actually, all Englishmen are descendants ofGermanic tribes before countries even existed, if you go backfar enough. Look up the origin of the English language; then forget what the point was to begin with.

0points

Glirpy 3 years ago

Americans don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving as it’s defined. All we really want to do nowadays is get together with people and eat and drink and people give us a day off to do it, so who cares?

2points

#6

Well That Took A Turn

Final score:

672points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Haaahaha PERFECT.

184points

Bexxxxx 3 years ago

SO SMOOTH 😂👏

7points

Stephanie Keith 3 years ago

Does his response come off as rude? I mean you ask a question and the person opens up and answers it and even adds a bit more for clarity. Then he immediately points out and corrects her about adding/math. Or am I reading to much into how he treated her? I guess I wouldn't point out a persons flaws so quickly, especially one that isn't bad. Okay, down vote me. I deserve it. Lol.

36points

Anna Banana 3 years ago

I think it's up for personal interpretation. If you like this sense of humour then you're a match, if not - well then, you've found out early. I would take it as fun banter, but only because he followed up with a proper joke at his own expense. But I wouldn't blame someone for finding it rude, either.

28points

Casey McAlister 3 years ago

No, I agree with you. Imo, a bit rude, plus it's not THAT funny to be worth it. Besides, for my taste, too early for penis jokes.

14points

Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago

Well, it wouldn't work with me because I like to answer by open up a bit more and invite people in to my way of thinking if that makes sense. I don't like to limit myself I guess. But I can see that he was trying to be humorous so I wouldn't call it rude, just not my type and move on.

7points

April Stephens 3 years ago

Stephanie Keith, I also found his response to be rude, not "kind/respectful" like she's looking for. But I don't take teasing very well in general.

6points

AngelWingsYT 3 years ago

Dont think he meant it as rude. He saw an opportunity n went with it also she did say someone who can make her laugh. 👍

3points

Loretta 3 years ago

I agree with you.

1point

Gerard Neaux 3 years ago (edited)

He was so eager to be clever that he ended up an ahole joking at her expense. He's funny but still a jerk. I wouldn't be surprised if he got unmatched.

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

To me it does. That’s what I commented. He acted like a bit of a bîtch for no reason.

0points

Elsie 3 years ago

Yeah it was a bit rude

-1point

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

These goes the coffee snorted all over the screen

23points

Caro Caro 3 years ago

If only I could think up these come backs !

18points

TmKhr 3 years ago

Smooth :D I want to know how this continued

13points

El muerto 3 years ago

her answer..."so is mine"

9points

Elsie 3 years ago

Since at the bottom it says sent.. the guy here is the one who took the screenshot so he must be pretty proud of it

5points

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

As he should lmao

0points

Michelle M 3 years ago

Smooth

2points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Unnecessarily rude.

2points

Sue Simmons 3 years ago

7 things actually. Not 6.

1point

Pascale Pierloot 3 years ago

I sure hope he isn't talking centimeters here...😂😉

1point

The lead mod of r/KamikazeByWords told Bored Panda about their friend who everyone calls ‘Wide Dangelo.’ “He's not actually overweight or anything, he just has the tendency to walk really broadly. The shoulders of that small man are an awesome sight to behold honestly. From every person I've ever met, every single person in our circle, not one man stands with more confidence, cracking self-deprecating jokes one after another,” they shared.

“But he stands, he makes fun of how he stands, but he stands broadly and proudly. And honestly, I think the world needs to know of people like him; whilst making fun of his own little quirks he stands there, widely. Absolutely legend,” the moderator told Bored Panda that self-deprecating humor has to be balanced out with pure, undiluted confidence.

#7

Everyone Sadly Laughing

Final score:

671points

POST

Serial pacifist 3 years ago

A slap for me and a slap for you

185points

Aaron W 3 years ago

Everyone gets a slap!!

11points

Gerard Neaux 3 years ago

I'm so glad with this comeback. "You're fun at parties" is the laziest, cheapest put down line, and the people who use it are certainly no fun at parties.

3points

Sofie 3 years ago

Hahaha 😂

2points

Crep 105 2 years ago

On the a$$?

0points

Lara Verne 3 years ago

But I'm fun at Reddit.

9points

Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago (edited)

Soooo good. Double burn.

8points

Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

I don't get it.

4points

Miss Cris 3 years ago

If you're in a party, you aren't on a computer reading random weird contents written by strangers.

5points

Harley Lee 3 years ago

BOOM

2points

Mattewis88 3 years ago

LOL -Great, now the whole office knows Im on BP instead of working.

1point

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

Sorry I don't reddit - does that make me smarter than you?

0points

Prestigous Cactus 3 years ago

If you're on Boredpanda, you're basically on Reddit

6points

Red 3 years ago

I feel like everybody on Reddit has a creative fun name.

0points

Potato 3 years ago

Whomever created the automatic name generator might be a genius. I had a username in mind when I created an account, but when I saw the initial auto username I thought it was way better than what I came up with.

5points

Starlee87 3 years ago

Ouch.......

0points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Ouch lol

0points

#8

Hope This Counts

Final score:

668points

POST

Buren 3 years ago

I bet the Taco didn't see that coming

179points

buttonpusher 3 years ago

I'd say Bret didn't either til it was too late.

45points

FailBunny17 3 years ago

Neither did his underwear

7points

Erik Lawrence 3 years ago

someone making the same joke over and over about taco bell? we ALL saw that coming.

1point

Ely Tanaka 3 years ago

Neither Bret.

0points

Ed Gomaz 3 years ago

Bret kicked him right in the taco.

0points

Just A Banana. 3 years ago

No, they already know that

0points

Marissa Taylor 3 years ago

Wendy's is that you ?

12points

Harri Ellis 3 years ago

They should hand out Immodium with your order.

7points

Angie Bracken 3 years ago

Hahahaha

1point

Id row 3 years ago

I have a feeling Wendy's is behind this somehow.

7points

Paul Neff 3 years ago

There is a significant number of people that like Taco Bell, and never get these stomach issues described. Cheesecake and milk, however, will put me in the bathroom.

4points

Anthony J Cornish 3 years ago

You are lactose intolerant. There are pills you can take before eating milk or milk derivatives "Lactaid" among others which will resolve this for you.

3points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

You ate taco bell now where am I gonna eat?

2points

Henry Russell 3 years ago

that was a compliment saying it was so good tat they have diarrhea for it

2points

Sue Lynn Chan 3 years ago

You should see the bathroom

2points

Earl Grey 3 years ago

No you shouldn’t.

5points

Bobby 3 years ago

So what was delicious for you, actually Bret?

1point

Nunya Business 3 years ago

One of my faves

1point

#9

Pharmacy And Gym

Final score:

665points

POST

Mad Dragon 3 years ago

“We’re”

224points

Traniel Ditasavit 3 years ago

Not really. The whole post has a lack of apostrophes (isnt) (thats) so it’s not really a grammar error.

31points

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣_𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 3 years ago

If we start correcting people's grammar, we will be here for a very long time. Probably forever.

20points

John Meise 3 years ago

Hey, they just admitted to being stupid, give them a break :p

1point

Phill Healey 3 years ago

both stupid

0points

Isaac7lego 3 years ago

oh god

0points

Ed Gomaz 3 years ago

Way to pile it on Mad Dragon.

0points

Rissie 3 years ago

Maybe she has a subscription to her prescription and a membership to go along with it.

20points

AngelWingsYT 3 years ago

No no she subcribed to the membership to get the prescription

3points

Kona Pake 3 years ago

What happens when you have brain fog.

8points

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

I have a gym subscription. They send me an email every month right after withdrawing their membership fee from my bank account.

4points

Natalia Shoemark 3 years ago

Did she say lol or literally laugh out loud

1point

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

Anyone know what proscription means?

1point

Elaina Myers 3 years ago

Banning something

2points

Dough Puddle 3 years ago

English is hard

1point

Jane Jane 3 years ago

I love this!

1point

Bobby 3 years ago

Not clear Description.

0points

Deja Katz 3 years ago

Wait there are people who actually say “Lol”?

0points

Comedy expert Ariane, who lives and works in London, was kind enough to share her opinion on self-deprecating jokes, the type of humor that ‘Kamikaze By Words’ lives and breathes. Bored Panda was curious to get her take on where the line lies between just enough self-deprecation and way too much of it.

“I guess you draw the line if you start actually believing your words and feeling bad about yourself! Self-deprecation in the name of comedy is great, but self-talk is a powerful thing and putting yourself down all the time may have an effect on your self-esteem. I think it’s fine as long as it’s clearly a joke,” she explained to Bored Panda.

#10

Sucks To Suck Am I Right?

Final score:

654points

POST

Buren 3 years ago

I am unique just like everyone else

170points

El muerto 3 years ago

I'm not

20points

Gerard Neaux 3 years ago

No, no, it's EIGHT thousand just like me, we haven't been 7bln since 2011.

2points

ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣_𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 3 years ago

YOUnique

1point

Bora Zrinyi 3 years ago

"I am not."

1point

New Everywhere 3 years ago

I like that

1point

ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago (edited)

So in a way, nobody is unique. Got it.

0points

Triv 3 years ago

"And if everybody's super," *next part ominously* "then nobody is."

0points

Harley Lee 3 years ago

Omg me too! Lol

0points

Lara Verne 3 years ago (edited)

I want to meet them. We can be losers together.

16points

Denise Solomon 3 years ago

My vote for "the best comment on this thread"

2points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

Everyone has a double/lookalike. I feel horrible thinking about the poor guy who has to look like me.

7points

Denise Solomon 3 years ago

If this is the case... since I have an identical twin, is SHE my double/lookalike or do we both have another

7points

Piggie8 3 years ago

Yeah, but I'm the real Slim Shady

3points

Loty 3 years ago

And everyone thinks they are above average.

3points

Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 3 years ago

Nah ik I'm below average

7points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

I'm a twin - is this an insult?

2points

Bobby 3 years ago

Still the Minority.

1point

Full English 3 years ago

Yep and they're out there somewhere in the 510 million square km that is our planet

1point

Jonathan MacFarlane 2 years ago

Oh man, the 7000 people just like me are probably way more successful and better then me.

0points

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

Yeah I’d hate to see 7000 ppl this f’d up mentally lol

0points

#11

Oh Niles, Never Change

Final score:

599points

POST

Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago

Niles was the best part of the show.

293points

Bob Belcher 3 years ago

Right after Eddie.

37points

GoddessOdd 3 years ago

Roz was pretty good too though.

11points

Hi, I'm Mars! 3 years ago

My son loves the episode where Niles invented the Testecool 2000 😂😂😂😂

5points

varwenea 3 years ago

Niles for the win!

4points

Salty Wild Hair 3 years ago

He really was. I so enjoyed his comedy.

3points

EEF🤓 3 years ago

Fact

3points

tuzdayschild 3 years ago

everyone on that show was on point

1point

just_a_snake_in_a_hat 3 years ago

My parents cat was named Niles after him

1point

Soda the Snake 3 years ago

I liked Roz but yeah Niles was just 👌

0points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

I miss this show, a good scripted comedy

23points

Elsker 3 years ago

YESSS!!! Loved it!! Have no been able to find it on a streaming service yet:(

7points

Potato 3 years ago

I heard there is a reboot coming! (If this isn't true please just let me live in my fantasy world, thank you!)

3points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

You don’t have to miss it! It’s on Hulu or you can always pirate it from any of the pirate sites.

3points

IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago

I was at a friends house when her mother started giving out to her son. She ended by saying "you really a son of a bi@@h, aren't you". To which he replied "You said it!". The look on her face was priceless!

15points

Full of Giggles 3 years ago

I witnessed a similar situation. Mom and son were having an argument. Mom calls son a “son of a bitch” to which he replies “Finally! Something we can agree on!”

11points

Candia Lee 3 years ago

I called my little sister a spoiled brat. For some reason my mom got highly offended.

4points

Sahara Alia 3 years ago

My mom used to call me "bastard child" when she's angry. I used to tell her this is an insult to you not me actually. And sometimes she used to say to me "bitch" to which I answered "well, you raised me. And sometimes she called me a "dog" and I answered "the mother of a dog is a dog too, not a human 😁😁😁😁

2points

Potato 3 years ago

Oh, the flak he could give her if she called him a bas tard!

0points

Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)

Stepson of a bitch. Technically.

14points

Id row 3 years ago

Gotta love Niles.

6points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Frasier and Niles are the measure for adulthood for me. Nobody over 35 should act any less mature than Frasier.

5points

Nilla Boström 3 years ago

Hope the reboot is just as good.

3points

Dodie Rippentrop 3 years ago

I ADORE NILES. I hard crushed over him.

2points

Anjelika 3 years ago

My favourite episode is ham radio , best of all time 🤣🤣🤣

2points

Natalia A 3 years ago

One of my favourite scenes!

1point

#12

Did Her Dirty

Final score:

541points

POST

El muerto 3 years ago

honestly I didn't gett it either at first...sliding fast on the left side of the curve

201points

Candia Lee 3 years ago

I got it, but I had forgotten the list title ...

8points

John Baker 3 years ago

It would seem Borysenko is firmly on the trailing edge.

3points

June 3 years ago

yeah and in my opinion her joke makes her at least slightly above the average...

1point

Crouching hippo hidden panda 3 years ago

I didn’t get she was referencing a graph. That’s clever

1point

moose man 3 years ago

Ye im on the right

-3points

Bob Belcher 3 years ago (edited)

Standard Deviation bell curve. Love it! If you're at thr top of the curve, you are directly in the center. It is literally the "average".

32points

XenoMurph 3 years ago

Technically isn't it the median?

2points

Marcellus II 3 years ago

Well the first one is on Parler, what more to be argued?

20points

Jace 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Tash 3 years ago

I really hate it when people use sweetie / honey etc in a sarcastic message. Its so condescending it makes me cringe.

12points

Michael Bartko 3 years ago

Parler? Credit for lack of grammatical errors.

6points

Gerard Neaux 3 years ago

Sample text is too small, give them time and confidence.

0points

Jane Adams 3 years ago

Well, they're having this conversation on Parler. Say no more.

5points

s. vitkovitsky 3 years ago

but d?on't take your own advice.

0points

Nolgoth 3 years ago

Lmao love shoe, she is a trip

4points

DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago

I know right.

1point

Eppe 3 years ago

An argument could be made that the right flank of the bell curve is 'the top'. The large bit around the center could then be called, say, 'the blob'. But you'd have to be on the right flank to make that distinction, and at least be in the blob to know what a bell curve is to begin with.

3points

Mari Bryant 3 years ago

They're both trying too hard.

1point

JayWantsACat 3 years ago

That person advertises that they're on Parler. That's all you need to know about the intelligence of that person.

1point

According to Ariane, we could all do with a laugh and should take ourselves less seriously. That means being able to poke fun at ourselves.

“I think being able to laugh at ourselves and our flaws is generally a positive thing. Barack Obama used to do it all the time and it was charming and disarming. However, it’s when you stop laughing at yourself and start berating yourself that it’s time to stop,” she told Bored Panda that we have to be honest with ourselves if we’re criticizing ourselves or still focusing on the humor, as we should.

#13

Does This Count?

Final score:

531points

POST

Steffen Rehm 3 years ago

That´s harsh, i love it!

94points

Gerard Neaux 3 years ago

Guess James knows his target audience

5points

Alex K 3 years ago

james blunt is so much better at tweeting than singing

28points

Penny Fan 3 years ago

James Blunt is a Twitter LEGEND! Not a massive fan of his music, would love to go for a drink with him

26points

Mari 3 years ago

I agree, I love his personality but not his musjc.

0points

Lara Verne 3 years ago

But don't worry, you're beautiful, Matt.

17points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

It's true

6points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Mr Ex Army Intelligence Officer Blunt has made a career out of dealing with Twits

13points

RatherLoopy 3 years ago

I believe the correct term is "manopause."

12points

L. Murphy 3 years ago

Yep, men go through the change too, but they don't get as much s**t for it. I resent this stereotype that all women over 50 like overwrought love songs.

7points

Alexia 3 years ago

Wasn't it andropause?

8points

KJ 3 years ago

James Blunt is a legend for his comebacks, not so much the singing voice.

8points

Andy Hinds 3 years ago

James Blunt is well known for his hilarious responses to people who troll him. He is totally worthy of an entire article alone.

7points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

Because, like, what can be a worse insult to a man than to call him a woman, especially a menopausal one?

7points

#14

Why Else, Would She?

Final score:

529points

POST

Rijkærd 3 years ago

This one has me banging my arm on an imaginary table ....kaboom!

103points

Harri Ellis 3 years ago

almost peed myself

2points

Elizabeth Elliot 3 years ago

ignorance and stupidity are not the same...

16points

Jaekry 3 years ago (edited)

Okay, I know for sure I'm not dumb,... But I have never heard of 'scalloped' potatoes... Is that a way of preparing the potatoes? Our seasoning? (Yes I'll Google, but if English is not your native language, and you're not from such a country that it serves that commonly, than I must be dumb!?)

8points

Huddo's sister 3 years ago

It's potatoes cooked in milk and egg , topped with cheese

3points

similarly 3 years ago

omg, I remember when I was a teenager, I made the opposite mistake. Went to a nice seafood restaurant and ordered scallops thinking they were potatoes. I liked it, though! Learned a new thing.

6points

Roe Rainrunner 3 years ago

Was she a native speaker? Cause I'm not and I had to google that word :-D

5points

Toea Muresan Iulia 3 years ago

I had to google images for either food :))))

2points

El muerto 3 years ago (edited)

dude we need to lower our standars. and stop overreaching

5points

Bob Belcher 3 years ago (edited)

Life is so much better when you learn that being comfortable and content is so much better than being constantly head over heels. If you're constantly head over heels then that becomes your normal and is just an average day but yet you still expect to feel that excitement. Best nights I have are the ones my wife and I stay up till 2am watch BS on Hulu or Netflix and just discussing how stupid the world is.

19points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Looks like an interesting dish.... maybe I'll try it out sometime.... hmmm by the way: has anyone an authentic recipe for Shepherd’s pie for me?

2points

GoddessOdd 3 years ago

Scalloped potatoes are absolutely amazing, and one of those dishes that are really inexpensive and easy to make, but sooooo delish they class up an entire meal.

5points

Slick 3 years ago

My older sister who thought that centipede was "santa pete" is now a lawyer. Not sure if i can commite a crime.

1point

BasedWang 3 years ago

this is great

1point

SupernaturalPanda 3 years ago

OH MY GOD

0points

#15

These Flat Earthers

Final score:

510points

POST

KJ 3 years ago

She isn't the sharpest knife in the rack, however we already knew that by the first tweet.

163points

Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago

Flat earthers are trying to cut bread with a spoon.

5points

Paul Neff 3 years ago

Pretty sure he could pick her up with some real sincerity... it sounds like she's been played by jokers a lot so far.

1point

Lena Hill 3 years ago

Bout as smart as a circle honestly

0points

DepressedAF 3 years ago

i agree

0points

Alma Muminovic 3 years ago

I dont get why this is a thing now? We disproved the earth was flat hundreds of years ago. These people seem like they are playing, can’t be serious.

16points

Potato 3 years ago

Some people just want to make others mad and watch the world burn.

11points

AngelWingsYT 3 years ago

Its called stubbeon pride. Idiots are to ashamed to admit they were/are wrong so they just cling to their lies (kinda like now with anti-covid/anti-vaccers)

4points

El muerto 3 years ago

it actually has been a thing for long time, the whole time...some people didn't get the memo, but many others just "flat" out deny it for X amount of reasons (religion, conspiracies and so on) it's only that now we can se and hear their opinions out loud.

2points

Droopsnoot 3 years ago

Maybe because covid conspiracy theories make the others resurface too

2points

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Serial pacifist 3 years ago (edited)

She’s not lying, that would mean intentionally giving false information. She’s simply unintentionally dumb and therefore believes the idiotic falseness she promotes to be true.

12points

Jon S. 3 years ago

There is an argument to be had that most flat earthers do in fact know they are lying, but subscribe to the idea "my opinion is as good as your fact" so don't care about misrepresenting reality.

7points

ZACHARY HARROD 3 years ago

she is not to bright

6points

Terd Fergison 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lulu Zeldis 3 years ago

Sharp as a marble that one

3points

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

Okay I like this line lol

1point

Bobby 3 years ago

Flat Brainers!

1point

. a 3 years ago

"Awe" is the wrong word. It's just "Aw".

1point

Jace 3 years ago

:D

1point

Dean Armstrong 2 years ago

Subtle sarcasm.

0points

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

“Aw I’m happy for you” “and I feel bad for you”

0points

Ariane also revealed to Bored Panda some standup comedy secrets. “In standup, you can either be high-level (superior to the audience) or low-level (inferior). Both can work really well,” she said.

“My first joke, back in 2003, was ‘I’m half-Iranian, half-American—so basically, I hate myself.’ I followed it up with, ‘I hate myself so much, I put anthrax in my self-addressed envelopes.’ The thing with standup is that even if you’re being down on yourself and self-deprecating, you also have to be really confident,” she pointed out the paradox. “The audience will sense if you don’t have faith in your jokes and will be less willing to laugh at them—they might even turn on you.”

#16

It Do Be Like That

Final score:

497points

POST

TrickQuestion 3 years ago

I blame Koalas.

81points

Raven Sheridan 3 years ago

Actually, the koalas have chlamydia. Not gonorrhoea.

60points

albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago

Folks REALLY need to quit f*<king the wildlife....

15points

Me Oh My 3 years ago

The fuzzy little bastards.

11points

Zaza 3 years ago

That's chlamydia

7points

Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago

No they have super chlamydia

5points

Pamela Morrison 3 years ago

Poor old koalas, they get a rough trot, don't they? Being called Drop Bears, Bears, and now they have a human disease, chlamydia.

2points

Cath poop 3 years ago

Coming from a red panda, I believe you.

2points

tuzdayschild 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Ozacoter 3 years ago

As a general rule? Or just in this case?

1point

Lynn Morello 3 years ago

Koala's suffer from Chlamydia, not Gonorrhea.

0points

Connie Martin 3 years ago

The koalas are blaming us

0points

GoddessOdd 3 years ago

NO. Koalas are above reproach.

0points

Jace 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Zophra 3 years ago

I was almost hurt when my gyncologist said that they weren't testing me for contracted HPV anymore. What? Over 50 and happily married?

6points

Rijkærd 3 years ago

I need to find some more kamikaze threads...and I hope I dont coz I might be here till next week....

6points

September 3 years ago

Aroace FTW! 😄

4points

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

Male pattern baldness is keeping us safe!

3points

JE Cummings 3 years ago

Guys who caught it in Vietnam way back when called it the "bullhead clap".

0points

Just saying 3 years ago

This is how the human race dies out.

0points

Spider Man 3 years ago

Well ima go take some advil from this headache

0points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

They're safety in numbers - be careful anyway!

0points

Bobby 3 years ago

Not your mom Jane>

0points

#17

4chan User With The Kamikaze

Final score:

480points

POST

rspanther 3 years ago

Sounds right.

87points

Melinda Baldwin 3 years ago

Ron from Canada... Is that you?

2points

lonelyobnoxiousonion 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

moon 3 years ago

so does the number of likes

0points

Aria Whitaker 3 years ago

Finally a tidbit of truth coming from that dumpster fire of a site....

14points

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

4Chan: We ruined Pepe, and we'll ruin you too!

3points

Any 3 years ago (edited)

And they die, like everyone else.

4points

Candia Lee 3 years ago

All of us turn into shriveled moldy husks.

4points

$fracarr avatar$

François Carré 3 years ago

Now I wonder if the word "monk" is a contraction of "moldy husk".

3points

Jacob Nunez 3 years ago

Yes

2points

Christopher Walkies 3 years ago

They become Pope or Dalai Lama.

2points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

And tell others how selfish they are for not overpopulating the planet

6points

Serial pacifist 3 years ago (edited)

Aaand the curtains are drawn (crowd applauds).

2points

redties_and_blackparades 3 years ago

Ohh 4chan

0points

DepressedAF 3 years ago

that's sad and depressing

0points

#18

Gamer Martyrdom

Final score:

469points

POST

Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago

BAHAHAAHA!!!!!

89points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

Damn I suck at shooters and I have none of those :( Well... the hairline but still. Where is my six figure salary?

14points

Seabeast 3 years ago

If your three kids are earning a six-figure salary, you can retire and be a gamer full time.

11points

Glirpy 3 years ago

What’s a reinhardt?

6points

Gerard Neaux 3 years ago

Exactly

1point

Rachael Sampson 3 years ago (edited)

Did they assume you were a male gamer?

3points

Potato 3 years ago

What, women can't have wives? Oh, you meant the pay gap. ;)

11points

Jess Thompson 3 years ago

BURN

3points

tail_bite 3 years ago

as an overwatch player i feel that

0points

Keerthi Vardhan 3 years ago

2 kids without a hairline and 5 figure salary is enough to call it quits to gaming.

0points

leia's emotional cupcake 3 years ago

thats totally awesome lol

0points

Sheila Stamey 3 years ago

Dang. That was mean.

0points

The head mod of r/KamikazeByWords had this to add about internet culture as it stands in 2021 and 2022. “Not many people talk about this, but I feel like we have to accept that in 2021 ‘jannie’ (as in ‘internet janitor’) has become a slur. Just look at the people that use it and you immediately notice anything from racism to transphobia. Especially the latter, since a lot of Reddit's best moderators are trans themselves, and ‘jannie’ has almost trans-hate in and of itself.”

#19

At A Climate Change Protest In Australia

Final score:

464points

POST

Sue Lynn Chan 3 years ago

Ouch. Don’t do that to me

83points

Cassidy ChillRose 3 years ago

I don't see them, you have no proof! (I do believe in climate change though, even if her boyfriend can't be there to help prove it.)

7points

Miss Cris 3 years ago

There are indeed proofs to climate change.

1point

Jo Choto 3 years ago

I've had the same imaginary celebrity boyfriend for about eight or nine years now and he's freaking flaming delicious!

3points

Dodie Rippentrop 3 years ago

Greta?

3points

Indy 3 years ago

Wish the earth was catfished

1point

Bobby 3 years ago

Do the planet give, the Earache, too?

-2points

Jace 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#20

As A Tall Guy Whooo That One Even Hurt Me

Final score:

452points

POST

Auntriarch 3 years ago

Writes down in back of diary for future reference....

116points

Siss Larsen 3 years ago

And me lol

5points

Mindghost 3 years ago

Headbutt to the knee it will be.

7points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

Not that short - just a little bit higher!

2points

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

Ouch! That one had to hurt!

1point

Willowbilly 3 years ago

Super zinger!

1point

Kitsune 2 months ago

reminds me of sesshomaru and inuyasha from inuyasha

0points

redties_and_blackparades 3 years ago

The creepypasta side of me: bEn DrOwNeD ViBeZ

0points

Rijkærd 3 years ago

Lesson: Do nOt..repeat..dO NoT piss off your short friends....

0points

Bobby 3 years ago

Now i can kick all your body. You lied.

0points

Vortex Lazer 3 years ago

This might serve as a lesson not to make fun of anyone regardless of their height I suppose?

0points

#21

I’ve Never Been So Offended By Something I 100% Agree With

Final score:

434points

POST

Phonax 3 years ago (edited)

you just insulted my entire race of people but yes

75points

Mom's Abortion Plan b failure 3 years ago

Love the reference from Jimmy O. Yang

3points

RandomX123 3 years ago

I'm expecting a comment here from one of those "I made XXX amount of money per hour by working at https://XXX.com" bots

17points

Marissa Taylor 3 years ago

Nice of yall to assume the bots where mentally stable

6points

Lainie 3 years ago

Where

0points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

Please define stable in this context?

4points

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

Lmao, cuz Reddit was made for the unstable 😂 😭

0points

Rijkærd 3 years ago

8 words. Just 8 words to make all Redditors have an existensial crisis meltdown....must have been a bot commenting.

0points

Miss Cris 3 years ago

*doing this bot to anwser anithing about stability, friends, sex and sport*

0points

Ika Usman 3 years ago

I can vouch for that

0points

Bobby 3 years ago

The question is not for me.

0points

J.L. Martin 3 years ago

Hahahahahah!

0points

If you’re planning on joining the ‘Kamikaze By Words’ community and sharing some posts, make sure that they actually “contain a Kamikaze.” In other words, the mods point out that the insult has to have “a clear secondary target.” What’s more, the insult actually has to affect both the secondary target and the person who’s doing the insulting in the first place.

The jokes also can’t be low-quality junk. And you should steer clear of controversial posts that delve into politics or religion. The sub might be all about insults, but everyone still has to be civil!

#22

An Accidental One At Best

Final score:

422points

POST

Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago

I love these guys!!! Their videos are just hilarious! And the thing with classical musicians being depressed... I learned piano, "just for fun". Wasn't fun. I'm depressed. THANK YOU PIANO!!!

92points

Potato Man 3 years ago

Why are u wrighting this YOU SHOULD BE PRACTICING lol (big fan of them too!)

19points

Glirpy 3 years ago

“It’s in D minor, the saddest of all keys.” - Nigel Tufnel

5points

John L 3 years ago

Uh, oh. I am learning now. I'm being taught major chords now...I shudder to think how much worse it will get.

3points

DepressedAF 3 years ago

i'm playing chopin ballade 3 and i'm also depressed (my teacher is russian)

1point

M Calad 3 years ago

Have you practice today? (Love them too)

1point

Mz Phit 3 years ago

Yeah! Two set are so great- their channel is one of the few that both my ( classical music snob) husband and I ( Art alternative) both enjoy. Funny informative and great music! Win!

1point

Bobby 3 years ago

Get married. Most of your depression will be gone. Big fish eat all the smaller ones.

0points

Red 3 years ago

I was depressed before I started studying classical singing so I felt right at home. JK, it was the first time I was truly happy and excited for anything academic related.

0points

Traniel Ditasavit 3 years ago

Ling ling and lung lung agree.

0points

Emerald Ocean 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Blobban 3 years ago

"thicc rant" lol

7points

Charlotte Bayer 3 years ago

20 years of playing pachelbels canon on every wedding will do that to you

6points

CultOfBambi 3 years ago

If you hate Pachelbel's Canon you'll enjoy this - it's a bit long, but worth it. (Beardyman the beatboxer performing at the BBC Proms in 2011) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N02t6UmDps4

0points

Stephanie Keith 3 years ago

Exactly why he was going on about it. He was telling you how he feels.

3points

Potato 3 years ago

Speaking from experience

1point

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 3 years ago

haha, but wat I'm focusing on is sacriligeous boi's profile picture 🤔

2points

PjandBolt 3 years ago

Twoset!! I'm literally watching their video rn!

2points

Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago

Tell me you have a depression, without telling you have a depression.

2points

Something 3 years ago

I'll try but I'm not sure I'll have the energy to fi

9points

Melissa Oreskovic 3 years ago

Twoset is wild. Love these guys!! Leave it to them to cheer you up!

0points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

What do you mean nowadays - history man read it!

0points

Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 3 years ago

Pretty sure they were depressed back when it was just called music too

0points

#23

Could Be Any One Of Us

Final score:

399points

POST

Kay blue 3 years ago

That penguin is my spirit animal.

122points

malenchki 3 years ago

You'll have to fight me for him

16points

MockingbirdTheWolf 3 years ago

You'll have to go through me

3points

oddkiddo 3 years ago

It committed harakiri from loneliness after developing diabetes.

3points

Rachel Madison 3 years ago

Unless you're indigenous, you don't have a spirit animal. This is your fursona

2points

Sandy D 3 years ago

That is exactly, word for word, what I was going to say!

0points

brandon ongkosaputra 3 years ago

same

0points

DepressedAF 3 years ago

lol

0points

Katherine Boag 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Auntriarch 3 years ago

Well covid has been tough on all of us

14points

Lillukka79 3 years ago

I'm in this picture and I don't like it.

11points

Spider Man 3 years ago

I'd be proud

0points

Mad_Haberdasheress 3 years ago

No, Redditor's still at least attempt to communicate.

8points

Batgirl Kitty 3 years ago

Brick the penguie

8points

Em Watson 3 years ago

I feel seen.

7points

Id row 3 years ago

Sad that we all relate a little too hard to this, lol. I'm no exception.

7points

Janice Bontrager 3 years ago

Sounds like the perfect life

6points

Angie Bracken 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

underapalm 3 years ago

Arrested bulimia.

1point

I I 3 years ago

thats a fckn unit

1point

#24

Ah Yes, t Poses

Ah Yes, *t Poses*

Final score:

375points

POST

Monday 3 years ago

Don't worry, the people on instragram are just fellow trash bretheren in denial. They'll come around eventually.

140points

KombatBunni 3 years ago

Sooo, what about reddit? 😈

11points

Auntriarch 3 years ago

I'm a Panda, but am I a trash Panda?

14points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

Aren't we all?

11points

Ellie J 3 years ago

Open Facebook instead and feel better about seeing some of your classmates in jail

3points

Babsevs 3 years ago

Deserves all the up votes ;)

1point

Chenga Animates 3 years ago

me but with tumblr

2points

Mark Karol-Chik 3 years ago

Maybe another reason I am not on the twitter.

2points

HarperTheCentaur (they/them) 3 years ago

*opens tumblr* oh wow, the person with a blue icon got into uni! and i have no new death threats :)

1point

Robert Thompson 3 years ago

....And then I went to Bored Panda.

1point

Katinka Min 3 years ago

I cannot abide Insta. I really tried for work purposes, but nope, insufferable.

0points

Dave Kool 3 years ago

Instagrammers are just Twitter users with better editing skills.

0points

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

That’s how I feel going on to bp lol

0points

#25

That Hurt

Final score:

375points

POST

Mistralok 3 years ago

You go girl!

80points

Micah Chips 3 years ago

she's pretty :)

10points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

I really dont understand the point of that sub. Being cruel to a person for their looks?

12points

Potato 3 years ago

It's like that song from the Eurythmics. Some of them want to be abused.

15points

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 3 years ago

Her artwork in the background is amazing!

10points

Margo Rosenberg 3 years ago

she's very beautiful!

6points

Shayda 3 years ago

She looks like she could lure men to their deaths and then illustrate their dead faces. The eye on the wall (assuming she made it) is amazing and terrifying

5points

Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago

She is gorgeous!

2points

MuddyPuddles 3 years ago

am I the only one creeped out by the eye artwork

1point

Rijkærd 3 years ago

Looks like her own eye drawing

1point

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

This girl does not look stupid or blind!

1point

WholesomeArmyweeb 3 years ago

44ba57d336...3cfdd3.jpg

0points

Katie Brandon 3 years ago

Yass queen

0points

#26

Ruining Your Reputation To Win A Lawsuit

Final score:

363points

POST

Rissie 3 years ago

It's easier than explaining how the prices of canning laves no room for mice to get in. It's fast... So. Good thinking.

93points

julie son 3 years ago

The...process of canning, maybe?

32points

Tim 3 years ago

Well, that silver part at the top is a separate piece. A mouse could theoretically get into the can before the liquid is added and then be sealed inside when the top is placed.

4points

JennaMae 3 years ago

Unless disintegrated mice are a part of the recipe...the secret part that offers that unique mtd flavor...dun dun dunnnn...! Lol jk

3points

advice5cents 3 years ago

Unless we get our Dew fresh from the factory, we will never know.

2points

S. 3 years ago (edited)

Worldwide, murder sprees are now often accompanied by a seemingly random purchase of 300 Mountain Dew drinks.

28points

Dodo 3 years ago

Wtf is in Mountain Dew that will make it dissolve a corpse?

21points

Marcellus II 3 years ago

It's (like Coke) about as acidic as your stomach, so yeah.

24points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Did you never do this experiment at school? Not sure if we did anything else, but the two things that stuck with me were meat and gummy bears.

2points

Stoopham McFernybabes 3 years ago

I wonder if fresh squeezed orange juice would take as long?

2points

Yvette Desmarais 3 years ago

I did not want to know this.

11points

John L 3 years ago

One more reason, I rarely drink soda.

10points

Sequoia 3 years ago

Agreed.

3points

Nicholas McShane 3 years ago

So every can 'might' contain a mouse

5points

Splash Bach 3 years ago

Fake. Seen this before both with Cola & Pepsi as the drink in question 🙄

2points

Mark Waugaman 3 years ago

Every burp smells like Disney!

2points

Sam 3 years ago

Eeek imagine what it does to ones insides after drinking it.

2points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Nothing. The acid in your stomach is far more aggressive.

19points

KT 3 years ago

Ewwwwwww

2points

#27

Interesting.. Saw On Fb

Final score:

360points

POST

Cactuar Jon 3 years ago

Unless it's one of those guys that seriously can't take the hint. They're out there, we've all experienced them.

133points

Nubis Knight 3 years ago

Corona REALLY isn't taking the hint, we're at vaxxination number 3 to 4 and it stills insists. ò.o

10points

Night Owl 3 years ago

Covid-19 is a stalker

4points

Piggie8 3 years ago

I have def not

-1point

Candia Lee 3 years ago

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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Serial pacifist 3 years ago

Well, I think this is unjust generalization. Men are like some specific variants that stick around for a few months, not like the entire virus (joke). I am a married guy who’s been around much longer than Covid. Hell, I’ve been married so long that I can almost recall the plague.

5points

Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago

That was YOU? We thought it was amoebae on fleas on rats.

9points

les 3 years ago

wait you can friendzone covid? we've all been dealing with it wrong

3points

Jaekry 3 years ago

Like a forgotten sock still on your feet at 03.30... too warm and clingy.

1point

Paul Z. 3 years ago

But what if you are not a sad millennial and are already 20 years with the same person? Or longer... 🤔

0points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

Troble is most men can't take a hint!

0points

Steffen Rehm 3 years ago

That would be quit painful for this long.

0points

Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago

So is a toxic relationship. But with a toxic BF, no vaccination would help you!

3points

Steffen Rehm 3 years ago

Still thinking if i should clarify what i meant. But that would ruin the joke, so i think i refuse. :)

1point

Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago

😂😂😂😂 Your comment is the reason I came read comments.

-1point

AngelWingsYT 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Potato 3 years ago

Dang, don't be so hard on yourself. You can change!

7points

#28

Dafuq Dey Doin Ova Dere

Final score:

353points

POST

El muerto 3 years ago

they used to say "children are the future" I guess, the future was f****d from day one

105points

Rage of Aquarius 3 years ago

Children may be the future, but y'all raised us. It isn't our fault we were poorly built.

14points

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 3 years ago (edited)

You have to care enough about the future to teach children to do better, but the adults making the decisions in this world only care about how they can benefit from squeezing the world dry right now.

6points

Basko 3 years ago

The whole quote is: "Children are the future unless we stop them."

1point

13 3 years ago

More lies to make you procreate.

1point

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

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Irishwoman abroad 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Mad_Haberdasheress 3 years ago

Ok, this is going to send a pin on my age, but. . .anyone else remember "chicken pox parties" when we were young?

14points

Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago

Alabama strikes again

9points

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

To be fair, idiots all around the world had these parties. And some even won a Darwin award.

17points

Id row 3 years ago

I'm ok with the cheeto's base trying to win Herman Cain awards.

7points

Rijkærd 3 years ago

Sweet home alabama...what else do you expect inbred crotchgoblins to do?

5points

Klas Klättermus 3 years ago

I hope Rijkaerd will remember, a southern man don't need him around anyhow

10points

John L 3 years ago

Looks like most people missed the very last line, which is supposed to be the burn.

3points

Jessica Julian 3 years ago

They may call them Covid parties, but I call them Darwin parties...

1point

Agfox 3 years ago

My US friend told me that Alabama is a State that makes Florida seem almost normal - but stressed the 'almost'!

1point

Karen Evans 3 years ago

Every time I read or hear about something like this, it makes me wonder if the genre of the movie "IDIOCRACY" will one day be changed from comedy to documentary.

1point

Seabeast 3 years ago

Alabama is ranked third of the US states for "deaths/million", bested only by Mississipi and Arizona.

1point

#29

Dundundunduuunnnnn

Final score:

344points

POST

rspanther 3 years ago

With all the people on reddit the odds are that at least one person has had sex, besides with themselves.

76points

Bob Belcher 3 years ago

I'll take that bet

17points

Id row 3 years ago

I'm actually more impressed someone used 'lose' correctly instead of 'loose'. Unless it was a typo :/

9points

Miss Cris 3 years ago

"Did" before, so the correct one here is present tense, loose.

0points

Steve Fischer 3 years ago

I'm on Reddit and have two great grandchildren. Still not sure how that happened

9points

albernistuff 4sale 3 years ago

You shoulda taken that left at Albuquerque, doc!

7points

Mel Rupp 3 years ago

58, female, married 36 years.. and a redditor. Yeah...I did, but it's been a while!

2points

John 3 years ago

Dear, you never made love with your husband yet after 36 years? Why ever not?

1point

Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

Well, redditors are pretty young, so it is normal.

1point

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

Such an old trope from like 15 years ago when Reddit was mainly nerds.

1point

MellonCollie 3 years ago

LOL, so true, besides a whole lot of very weird stuff there are also a lot of parenting subs ...

2points

John 3 years ago

18 for me, in Toronto, Canada.

0points

Ika Usman 3 years ago

Ha, joke on you. There's a section of DeadBedroom in Reddit where people whose partner has stopped willing to f**k them complain. So, we've had sex. Just not anymore.

0points

Bobby 3 years ago

They loose it in Churches.

0points

Ham Explosion 3 years ago

6...

0points

Ham Explosion 3 years ago

Its a long story, dont ask. Yet a true one.

0points

#30

He Said It Not Me...

Final score:

341points

POST

Who Panda 420 3 years ago

I'd give him some bucks just for the giggle

154points

Erik Lawrence 3 years ago

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Brian Bennett 3 years ago

what and make a spectacle of yourself?

6points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Lol

4points

Flying Captain 3 years ago

I just read "help me buy her" first.

1point

John 3 years ago

Oh my this is an awkward situation.

0points

KorKor 3 years ago

Took me twice reading it to realize.

0points

Bobby 3 years ago (edited)

Let you be hot for her. Take her.

-1point

#31

Final score:

328points

POST

Slick 3 years ago

He live up to his username. Respect !

56points

Grace Walsh 3 years ago

I would upvote this entry, but I don’t want to ruin the 300 upvotes

1point

Na Schi Premium 3 years ago

It's easier to live with a crappy picture on your skin, than a breathing and talking regret. Please don't make this mistake... these mistakes.

3points

FailBunny17 3 years ago

tenor-11.gif

2points

Axolotl King 3 years ago

Well I wouldn't exactly say rare...

1point

Tina Hugh 3 years ago

Relatable

1point

Owen 3 years ago

Ok

1point

Pa4040 3 years ago

Ok.

0points

Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago

Why can't I upvote this more than once??

0points

ZAPanda 3 years ago

hahahaha

0points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

10 points for honesty

0points

Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago

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Alphabet Soupy 3 years ago (edited)

“Self-deprecating” is a comedy style. Been around for decades, remember Rodney Dangerfield? And like, all British comedy?

28points

#32

He Took Dogecoin Down With Him

Final score:

294points

POST

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Love the honesty

79points

Temperance Raziel 3 years ago

He has publicly denounced the coin.

2points

Tomasz Zakrzewski 3 years ago

Ironically, Musk just announced he'll be accepting Doge for his merchandise and it's up like 11%

11points

Virgil Blue 3 years ago

I thought he had announced no crypto payments? Oh hell who knows with Musk.

10points

Bel 3 years ago

Bit rich coming from the guy who went to space for funsies.

7points

Evil Hornet 3 years ago

So what would be his hourly wage then? oO

3points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)

I’m still up in Doge lol. Bought in at 9 cents and I have thousands of them. Its at like 18 cents now. I don’t care at all about it but just in case it goes up I’ll keep them.

2points

CATMONSTER2018 3 years ago

I love shibetoshi's profile picture

1point

iffypedia 3 years ago

the way that he doesnt use caps at the beginning of his sentence makes it 100x better

0points

Mindghost 3 years ago

Good boi

0points

Cassidy ChillRose 3 years ago

At least he knows his strengths and faults. Which are ironically the same thing in his case!

0points

Candia Lee 3 years ago

Why would they *want* crypto to "drive a massive increase in fossil fuel use"?

0points

#33

Hopefully I Got It First Lol, But I Saw This In A Massive Brits vs. Americans Thread

Final score:

286points

POST

Monday 3 years ago

I would rather engage with the anime pfp than the football pfp, but that's not a commentary on intelligence. I'm just a weeb.

105points

Analyn Lahr 3 years ago

And I had to look up what pfp stands for. Because I'm not hip that jive.

11points

Return of Saturn 3 years ago

Hello fellow weeb!

3points

That nerd Zoe 3 years ago

Same here lmao

3points

Auntriarch 3 years ago

All hail your Weebness

3points

Vicky Zar 3 years ago

Says the one with the anime pfp. Mind you, I can't get out of this one either. Lol

2points

Autumn 3 years ago

Same

2points

Rijkærd 3 years ago (edited)

....should it be read as p/ef/p or the crazier pfffffffffp....just a guy asking...I like mine. Not original but still partymode.

1point

Zenyp 3 years ago

facts bro 100%

1point

MiaOokami 3 years ago

Same, but there's a 50% chance you'll end up vibing together and 50% chance you'll end up blocking and reporting them.

0points

moon 3 years ago

heh same

0points

JennaMae 3 years ago

What is pfp... Or a weeb!

0points

Micah Chips 3 years ago

same

0points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)

The fûck is a Pfp? Lol Edit - a profile pic maybe??

8points

Em Watson 3 years ago

I was also thinking wtf is a PFP, but now I get it. Thank you Mewton's Third Paw, love from a crazy cat lady x

8points

R.E.O. Speedwagon 3 years ago

And a JoJo pfp no less

5points

Jo Choto 3 years ago

Judging people purely on their appearance is never, ever cool.

4points

KorKor 3 years ago

I don’t like mc Donald’s, it is straight food poisoning

2points

Niall Mac Iomera 3 years ago

What on earth are they saying?

1point

GoddessOdd 3 years ago

They are talking about the little pictures, profile pics, beside their names. One has a football player, the other an anime character, the anime guys says that no one respects either of those choices.

6points

Peryton 3 years ago

Why are they called pfps and not avatars anymore? "avatar" is way better and easier to say

0points

GoddessOdd 3 years ago

I think technically, and, disclaimer, I am not a technical person, I think it's a profile pic when it's actually a photo of the person in question, and an avatar when it is something else... my avatar is a fat hairless cat, my profile pic is much uglier.

5points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

I'm old - then no Pfp is the one to be!

0points

Suleiman Ahmad 3 years ago

Za wurdo!

0points

Tee Witt 3 years ago

?

0points

#34

Taking Both Dads Down At Once, Originally Seen On R/Clevercomebacks

Final score:

282points

POST

Daniel Mattock 3 years ago

Ooof.

69points

Tom Hardeveld 3 years ago

tripple oof

2points

Eppe 3 years ago

After a fine battle I'd call this one a draw

19points

Katherine Boag 3 years ago

Someone's dad being shitty isnt an insult to them but to their dad tho?

15points

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

That was an incel comeback. “You’re bad because your dad, a man, was bad!”

7points

Potato 3 years ago

An incel would never insult another man! Jk I wouldn't f*****g know.

1point

Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago

Nice bit of slút shaming

6points

Wang Zhuang 3 years ago

I envisioned the sound effects from the old Batman TV show while reading their exchange. Biff! Bam! Pow!

2points

JayWantsACat 3 years ago

She's not wrong, though.

2points

Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago

Ouch!!

1point

Shayda 3 years ago

Imagine these two stuck in an elevator together. Let the witty remarks and sass ensue

1point

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 3 years ago

nice one

1point

#35

Nobody Loves Me...

Final score:

277points

POST

Nicola Roberts 3 years ago

I would suggest Nobody, that you test your sense of humour in a non-live situation first.

103points

Stimpy 3 years ago

You mean during a public execution?

15points

Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago

This is a little bit sad for both of these folks.

12points

Nilla Boström 3 years ago

What kinda sick joke is that?

8points

Droopsnoot 3 years ago

I would say "true, tvere is no such things as bad taste" but then I realize trump was married

2points

Pat Head 3 years ago

Immediately thought of the movie, "Dead Man". Nobody was the best character.

2points

R. K. 3 years ago

Haven't seen it, but I thought of My Name Is Nobody, a spaghetti western, a nice light watch :)

1point

Paul Neff 3 years ago

Nobody could be happy if these lines work for them.

1point

Glirpy 3 years ago

Your nobody called today. She hung up when I asked her name. Well I wonder does she think she's being clever. 🎵

0points

Bobby 3 years ago (edited)

Nobody is B!tch!

0points

#36

High Standards

Final score:

272points

POST

Marcellus II 3 years ago

That's the Groucho Club Principle.

109points

EEF🤓 3 years ago

Yes!

3points

Rijkærd 3 years ago

Setting themselves up for a 40 yr old virgin special appearance....

6points

Douglas Turner 3 years ago

You probably won't date anyone with higher standards, though, so... lonely.

3points

Tom Bolton 3 years ago

This one hits home.

2points

Na Schi Premium 3 years ago

I like this guy! Luckily I will never get to know him and his other standards regarding women ✌

1point

Rebecca Summers 3 years ago

,

0points

#37

I Think This Belongs Here

Final score:

266points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Dingus :D

78points

A B C 3 years ago (edited)

I love dingus as an insult. It's kinda insult-y, but not as harsh as other words.

19points

BasedWang 3 years ago

frikkin dingus is one of my go-to's

6points

McGovernor 3 years ago

In the words of Nelson Muntz ha!

1point

Nikki Sevven 3 years ago

When someone begins with "no offense, but," the very next thing that comes out will be something offensive. Guaranteed.

10points

That nerd Zoe 3 years ago

No offense, but Nikki is a cute name

8points

Soap 3 years ago

Hey, it's Pukicho!

5points

Fliphpo 3 years ago

Ya little Dingus :D

3points

BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago

Is that the same Pukicho from Tumblr? I love them! They can always swing back with something new lol.

3points

Sunny Day 3 years ago

Gamers aren't f'g morons because gamers aren't f'g anything.

2points

jburgh 3 years ago

Gonna name my next dog Dingus, Gus for short.

2points

CultOfBambi 3 years ago

Ha! I have a friend whose dog is called Gus. Might have to ask what it's short for. :)

0points

DepressedAF 3 years ago

but that jerry mouse pfp tho

1point

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 3 years ago

LUL

1point

Baby Panda 3 years ago

it's like that time i said america was f*****g horrible and someone replied "how would you feel if i called YOUR country horrible, think before you speak, bozo." and i'm from america, so i would agree :D

1point

#38

Truly Unfortunate Choice Of Words

Final score:

261points

POST

Luna 3 years ago

I mean, all of her exes are evil…

69points

Traniel Ditasavit 3 years ago

True true.

9points

Glirpy 3 years ago

And live in Texas

1point

Your Favorite Buzz Boi 3 years ago

indeed

0points

Dolevaal 3 years ago

Scott Pilgrim vs The World reference?

3points

Traniel Ditasavit 3 years ago

No that literally just is Scott Pilgrim.

18points

Zion joy heperi 3 years ago

Scott your the only person I've dated

1point

Audrey 3 years ago

In fact, she had 7 exes (and they are all evil)

1point

GreenEggzNHam 3 years ago

Key word: 'Guy'

1point

Bobby 3 years ago

All of her exes were nicer.

1point

Your Favorite Buzz Boi 3 years ago

her exes all formed an evil organization together

0points

#39

Tinder

Final score:

255points

POST

Joonscrab 3 years ago

People need to comment more on her irony than her spelling. Everyone uses slang these days, just get over it. Seriously.

138points

King Kashue 3 years ago

Bunch o people wad read this an think "poor fellow has na idea hou tae spell." Gin it has consistent rules o usage, thon's no slang, thon's a dialect.

18points

Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago

Linguistics student begging people to understand different levels of expression. Also to get over themselves.

9points

13 3 years ago (edited)

No. They're called standards. And I'm fine with people slang spelling as long as they're fine that the rest of the world views them as unschooled morons.

8points

Devil's Advocate 3 years ago

Terrible spelling is not the same as slang

7points

Ray Martin 3 years ago

Joonscrab - No, they really don't. It's mostly just semi-literate morons who write and speak like that.

6points

BasedWang 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Marnie 3 years ago

Same people who gripe about people typing conversationally in a casual comment are the probably the ones who go out of their way to say "and I" to sound "proper" when it should be "and me" (as in, "they gave an award to my best friend and I"). Pretentious and dumb. Not a good look.

2points

JayWantsACat 3 years ago

Her spelling/use of slang is infinitely more tolerable than the idiotd who don't know should/could of is not a thing,

2points

Erik Lawrence 3 years ago

its not irony when its intentional.

2points

El muerto 3 years ago

those are the people that have nothing to add but want say something anyway, even if it doesn't mean anything and nobody...like people that always have to mention their height.

2points

John Meise 3 years ago

No, she sounds like a f**k for brains. People that talk like that sound like garbage. And who says I can't be shocked by both her garbage slang AND her hypocrisy?!

1point

Mari Bryant 3 years ago

"Everyone"? No. Seriously.

1point

BoredPanda 3 years ago

Seriously? Nobody uses slang like THAT. You’re just being sympathetic, she obviously did that so she could get a pity party.

0points

Lawrencium 3 years ago

Nevah!

0points

JXXXF 3 years ago

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Khavrinen 3 years ago

I am ugly, but putting my height in my bio would make women even less likely to date me. If, that is, such a thing as "less likely to date me" were mathematically possible. ( 5'5" )

2points

Lemonclouds20 3 years ago

I think it's a joke

2points

Kai David 3 years ago

It's not slang. It's pure lazineß and ignorance.

-1point

Mindghost 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Andy Hinds 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago

b/c she used slang??? argh. nothing is misspelled. it's just slang.

29points

Stimpy 3 years ago

"oH NoEs, lAnGUagE sHouLD nEVeR ChanGe. eVEryBoDY wHo uSEs iT differently fRom mE iS WroNg"

20points

September 3 years ago

If you've stated your physical height, in your online autobiographical information, then it's probable that it's because you're visually unappealing. 5'3" (unfortunate looking, myself)

13points

Potato 3 years ago

Interesting logic coming from someone who doesn't know how to use proper punctuation. If, then.

8points

#40

Woaw That Hurts

Final score:

235points

POST

John L 3 years ago

Naruto Run!!!!

42points

moon 3 years ago

the naruto theme started playing immediately, as a weeb i thank you and upvote

1point

Rachael Sampson 3 years ago

It's also gross when people use female genitals to describe a "weak person".

19points

September 3 years ago

And makes no sense. Testicals are weak and vulnerable. Vaginas can really take a pounding.

31points

Carol Emory 3 years ago

Around here they call Budweiser "Butt-wiper." That stuff is nasty.

9points

Huddo's sister 3 years ago

I have always imagined it tasted like VB

0points

September 3 years ago

My brothers always called it, Bitch Beer.

5points

Erik Granqvist 3 years ago

Bud Light: slightly less beer then water.

1point

I I 3 years ago

BL tastes like s**t anyways

1point

Mayrene Chester 3 years ago

Just to be clear, pussy is really really formidable ok. It's where life comes out from.

0points

Spider Man 3 years ago

You need some ice for that burn!

0points

El muerto 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Monday 3 years ago

There is a beer out there made from....woman yeast. Humans are weird.

11points

#41

Fairly Certain This Belongs Here

Final score:

61points

POST

Alma Muminovic 3 years ago

Lol. People are so sensitive today Im surprised they get out of bed in the morning.

15points

BasedWang 3 years ago

Its sooooo damn irritating how people have become

5points

Jacob Nunez 3 years ago

Goddamn

5points

Auntriarch 3 years ago

I don't understand. I don't have nuts, nor ever have

3points

Tonya Wallace 3 years ago

No, but you CAN bust one. Given the right circumstances.

2points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

My god son is autistic. Humour is something he neither misses nor is bad at

2points

Ghosts 3 years ago

Yah, but as you know, the spectrum is incredibly wide.

4points

memyselfandI 3 years ago

Oh, I thought it was referring to peanuts and tree nuts…

0points

Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they) 3 years ago

Same 😂

0points

Weezie Ray 3 years ago

Kids these days, not respecting our ancient internet memes! (For you youngsters- “no girls…” is one of the oldest internet jokes.)

0points

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

Kilroy called. He said that we respect the oldest memes, but only the good ones.

0points

Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

I think you should know by now it means "Weird misogynistic creep".

4points

#42

It Be That Way Sometimes

Final score:

60points

POST

Bob Belcher 3 years ago (edited)

Your bed sheets look brighter than your future.

40points

Andrès Dì Fonoĺĺosa 3 years ago

That word is pants not bed sheets.

6points

John L 3 years ago

Nice!

1point

Raven DeathShade 3 years ago

Mine are white. Like, a bright white.

0points

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago (edited)

When they have a roll of toilet paper beside their bed, you know that they actually wear their socks.

13points

Layla Corman 3 years ago

It could also mean they have been in prison.

3points

Rez Fidel 3 years ago

I got distracted by the wank paper roll and the tiny dreamcatcher.. what should we do?

4points

Chris Hardtke 3 years ago

That Dream Catcher has never been used.

2points

Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago

mmm Reese's Pieces.

1point

Rae the lemon 3 years ago

Don’t judge someone just because of their tattoos. So what if they want a ton of tattoos? Tattoos are cool! Leave them be. F**k the people’s opinions!

1point

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

I bet you believe in freedom of speech. Yours only. So kindly f**k off with that bullshit. So sick of this I can have an opinion but you can’t crap

-2points

Auntriarch 3 years ago (edited)

You would probably roast well, but I don't fancy the crackling

1point

BasedWang 3 years ago

the TP tho

1point

#43

Was Told To Post Here

Final score:

60points

POST

Rijkærd 3 years ago

Dead and buried in a 2 minutes.

9points

KombatBunni 3 years ago

Rest in pieces..

1point

#44

200 Iq Comeback

Final score:

53points

POST

CD Mills 3 years ago

I can sympathise with red.

1point

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

BBBUUUURRRNNN 🚑

0points

#45

Billie Eilish Winning Grammys

Final score:

52points

POST

BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago

People in the comments should stop being haters. I personally don't like some of her music either, but I still have a ton of respect for her.

17points

Sareaesque 3 years ago

Didn't use to be my taste, but I've developed a taste for her newer stuff. And it has been interesting to see how being more open about her experiences has shaped her music.

9points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

If you don’t like it then scroll on. So many negative nellies

1point

Traniel Ditasavit 3 years ago

It’s very talentful depressed whispering.

1point

Grace Walsh 3 years ago

Oh, y’all haters down in the comments shut the hell up

0points

Reisha's Music 3 years ago

Ok can everyone relax please everyone has different views and there is no bad thing in expressing your opinion.Whether if billie eillish is bad or good it it their opinion not yours so please stop being rude to each other and stop downvoting people who are stating their opinion.Please no hate

0points

Charlotte Bayer 3 years ago

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Aria Whitaker 3 years ago

Not everyone can be in a relationship with someone they do not find physically attractive. Perhaps she worded it rather crudely., but there really isnt anything wrong with wanting your mate to be attractive to you. Calling others "ugly" is rude, but the idea is not necessarily wrong by any stretch.

0points

Marcos Dias 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Daniel Mattock 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#46

That's One Way To Do It

Final score:

50points

POST

Jess Thompson 3 years ago (edited)

It’s not much, but it’s honest work 😂

10points

Bob Belcher 3 years ago

Nice lol

4points

Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago

It is kind of sad because the girl looks very pretty herself. I hope she finds some self love.

0points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago

I don't understand this. Please, someone explain what is so bad about commenting 'twin'? Thank you.

0points

Terd Fergison 3 years ago

She is claiming that she is ugly. So, calling someone her twin would mean that they are as ugly as her. But, she really doesn't seem ugly from her profile picture. This seems like lame fishing for attention.

5points

#47

I Mean, If His Channel Is Only Enjoyed By Mentally Ill Children... It Makes Sense

Final score:

49points

POST

Jose Antonio 3 years ago

Eh, Pewdiepie is actually really annoying though.

10points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg Is a self absorbed Flog

3points

Raven DeathShade 3 years ago

*Bruno voice* Meh.

-1point

#48

iPhone 11 Design.

Final score:

45points

POST

Ruby Davis 3 years ago

why do i kind of feel offended

7points

Erik Lawrence 3 years ago

because youre trying too hard.

0points

Just A Banana. 3 years ago

How is it ugly? Just looks like a phone to me

1point

Grace Walsh 3 years ago

I feel weird that I’m reading this on an iPhone 11

0points

bxttery_bxby 3 years ago

Okay but Ruby's pfp. I am so excited that they are having baby #2

0points

#49

What Do You Even Say

Final score:

45points

POST

Beta 3 years ago

PffffhehehehehehehehhahahahahahahhHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

9points

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

Twitter banned Trump because he was too stupid.

1point

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

If Twitter is the bottom of the barrel, then Trump is in the core of the earth. Screenshot...9b-png.jpg

1point

#50

They're Like Twigs

Final score:

43points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

Never mind the legs. Why is he wearing shoes in the shower? Also; could his legs hold the weight of all that hair getting wet?

45points

Candia Lee 3 years ago

Why footies, and why are his heels not down in the shoes?

7points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

A small victory for the people that cop ableist bullshit online

1point

Alma Muminovic 3 years ago

My ex had skinnier ones. Like tooth picks.

1point

arcane_gamer (they/them) 2 years ago

those are skinnier than my malnourished rescue cat

0points

#51

The Wonders You Can Find With The Hidden Reply Feature

Final score:

42points

POST

KombatBunni 3 years ago

Someone notify the local burns ward, we have some real doozies here..

2points

#52

Took All Of Reddit With Them

Final score:

40points

POST

Jasper Cool 3 years ago

Lmao. The reddit shade is cracking me up.

11points

#53

Ancient Kamikaze

Final score:

39points

POST

Just A Banana. 3 years ago

ooooooof

1point

#54

Kamikaze Of The Finest Quality

Final score:

39points

POST

BasedWang 3 years ago

Brilliant

3points

#55

I Mean..he’s Not Wrong

Final score:

38points

POST

RAMPAGE 3 years ago

Ayo STOP spying on my friends and I!

1point

Christoph 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

kathryn stretton 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

King Joffrey 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Stephanie Ladd 3 years ago

Leaving someone on read means they see you've read the message but never responded.

17points

Box Knight 3 years ago

no.... he meant "on read". As in he read the message, but didn't respond. Not too different from these people, are you?

9points

PenitentEyeball 3 years ago

Actually In this situation (when talking about texts) it’s “left on read” because that means it was read by them but not replied to.

5points

Jess Thompson 3 years ago

He meant on “read” (past tense), which means you click into the message so it shows up as “seen”, but then you don’t answer so the sender knows you read it but STILL chose to ignore.

3points

#56

Same, Dude Same...

Final score:

38points

POST

Sue Grigg 3 years ago

That's a lot of mayonnaise. Yuck.

7points

Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago

:D that is a lot of everything. but it does have lettuce and tomato, it cancels out. /S

2points

#57

Hunting Pedos In Kids Chat

Final score:

37points

POST

Dina Simoné 3 years ago

Hunting Pedos in kids chat?

12points

#58

The Only One He'll Come In Contact With

Final score:

32points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

He looks like he wouldn't even get to touch a pussy if he worked in an animal shelter.

16points

Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago

Brutal! 😂😂😂 I must remember this one

1point

Rijkærd 3 years ago

I see a win win situation here.

0points

El muerto 3 years ago

so that's why people get cats

0points

#59

You've Won.. But At What Cost?

Final score:

28points

POST

Evil Hornet 3 years ago

And that's why my doggo represents me here :F

27points

Laugh or not 3 years ago

Let's be honest here, most of us would rather look at image of fluffy pets than humans (very cute doggo but the way).

10points

Rae the lemon 3 years ago

I HAVE LEMONS!

5points

Scipio Africanus 3 years ago

And why Ambrose Burnside represents me

3points

Madison Feehan 3 years ago

Same!

1point

Happy Daihatsu 3 years ago

I am a car

1point

ALEXIS CISNEROS 3 years ago

they are a very good boy from what i can tell from here

1point

Grace Walsh 3 years ago

And that is also why this adorable kitten is my profile pic

0points

Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago

Me too! RIP Shelby.

0points

RandomHumanBean 3 years ago

adorbs

0points

Spikey boi 3 years ago

This is why the cactus here is my representative

3points

Papa Bonez 3 years ago

Then I am really not sure how my profile pic would represent me.

1point

Naesil 3 years ago

when I first saw younger people talking about pfp I had no idea what they were talking about because pfp means picture for proof and it didn make any sense, but I guess Pro File Picture makes sense in this world -.-

1point

#60

What's That Strong Taste That I'm Tasting?

Final score:

28points

POST

Rae the lemon 3 years ago

Cover your mouth with your ELBOW! YOU TOUCH S**T WITH YOUR HANDS!!! This makes me so MAD. My dad does it and bugs me so much. Anyway...

7points

MonsterMum 3 years ago

I don't touch s**t with my hands thanks

11points

Holly Allen 3 years ago

Personally I touch poo with my elbow so I'm screwed either way

6points

malenchki 3 years ago

Um I wipe my ass with toilet paper not my hands and I Wash my hands

5points

#61

Found This

Final score:

26points

POST

Grace Walsh 3 years ago

The same time they stopped teaching idiots who get triggered over small grammar problems

1point

#62

Hope This Hasn’t Been Posted Here Before

Final score:

25points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

Why is pedophile censored? Following this line of censoring words like politician, billionaire, Andrew and Maxwell should also be censored.

36points

Sarah 3 years ago

These ridiculous censors are driving me crazy! And, am I right that it seems to have only just recently become a big thing? I mean recent as in the last couple of months. Or did I just not notice before?

11points

John L 3 years ago

[snif, snif] smell that? Must be the burn!

4points

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

they censored reddit

2points

Cat Crazy Lady 3 years ago

So he's admitting being a pedophile?

3points

Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 3 years ago

That's the point yes

2points

Máté Jancsek 3 years ago

ephebophile and pedophile are not the same thing.

0points

#63

The Hardest Choices Require The Strongest Will

Final score:

23points

POST

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

In the mean tweets vid she lost it laughing. Even she thought that was bloody funny

5points

John L 3 years ago

Lol, eighthead.

3points

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

sixteenhead

1point

velocirrober 3 years ago

What a sad left ass cheek.

0points

#64

Was Told This Belongs Here

Final score:

22points

POST

El muerto 3 years ago

yo mama so dum, she tough you had a future

6points

Beta 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Alex Foster 3 years ago

See I just get to blink my eyes all hurt and respond "My mother IS blind" and they're left the a**hole who just said they aren't pretty.

1point

#65

R.i.p. Gpa

Final score:

22points

POST

#66

Cringe

Final score:

16points

POST

BasedWang 3 years ago

Bush Sr. worked for the CIA just incase anyone needed that

7points

Synsepalum 3 years ago

That would be George HW Bush

5points

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best."

1point