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Ah, Italians. They gave us pizza, Leonardo da Vinci, fantastic wine, oh, and Western civilization! We have a lot to thank this Southern European nation for. Here at Bored Panda, we’re doing it the only way we know how—with funny Italian jokes!
If you’re Italian yourself, you’re probably tired of people commenting on your loud speaking voice, exaggerated hand movements, incomparable love of pasta, and a bunch of other country stereotypes. You probably cringe every time someone starts singing ‘That’s Amore.’ You’ve probably heard Every. Single. Mafia. Joke. We’re not trying to make your life harder. We promise this post is only about the best Italian jokes to help show our appreciation.
Get set for the biggest list of jokes about Italians that we hope will be light-hearted and relatable. Share this list with your Italian friends to show them you care, and tell us which funny joke you liked best.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Italien
Bob Wolters 8 years ago
If you make a Italian dish wrong, Italians become even more dangerous than Alien, so beware.
Jack Rossini 4 years ago
What Gen. George Washington uttered as he crossed the Delaware River....
amal perera 7 years ago
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Donatella Cristoforetti 7 years ago
I am Italian and I love all this Jokes about Italians, because us Italians have a great sense of humor I am from the North Italy, but I leave in USA now.
Leslie Lynn 8 years ago
Oh I forgot to say haven't ran into any vampires lately,here's a joke what happens when an Italian runs out of pasta? They are hungry.
RELATED:
#2
Italian DNA
Bill Cimino 8 years ago
Or the original Ronzoni fusilli! Tastes best but hard to find nowadays.
#3
Language Barrier
Heather Riseborough 8 years ago
Animals do actually have accents, it's been scientifically proven.
Emv Rabanes 8 years ago
I can attest to that! US ducks, quack quack.. Philippine ducks, Aak aak. Lol
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Eliza Allouette 8 years ago
German Man: Zis is how my dog speaks German. Go ahead, fluffy German Shepard: Voof Voof
Eliza Allouette 8 years ago
German owner: 'and zis is how my dog speak german, watch' German shepard: 'voof'
#4
Problem Solving Techniques
Shauday Smith 8 years ago
why are the people that find this humorous getting down votes? jokes, people. that's all they are... jokes.
Domenico 8 years ago
I'm Italian, you're right, actually our government works just like that.
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Jenn Olges 1 year ago
Notice how the country that boasts "peace" is the ONLY one to depict violence as a means to a solution??
frank castle 7 years ago
Auden Meyer you mean FORTUNATELY! Europe should learn to do the same before it's too late.
#6
Italian Vampire
Francesco D'Arcangeli 8 years ago
LOL indeed. Not to mention we have a whole STATE full of priests and Churches :D And that a lot of people wear crucifixes :D
HauntedForests 8 years ago
This sounds like a better story than Twilight, and I like Twilight.
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
So sad people doesn't know that actually in Italy there is great percentage of atheists (was 54% in 2014) and there are regions that are cold and absolutely not sunny all year around....
Maria Beilschmidt 8 years ago
Kind of like how there are massive sweeping horribly inaccurate stereotypes about Americans and everyone just laughs and says, "so true!"
Load More Replies... #7
Italian Sign Language
Lucia Battisti 8 years ago
There are many others...and usually not to say good words!!! Believe me!! ;-)
Allana Rose 8 years ago
But I love how expressive Italian people can be! That is a big part of their charm!
#8
Arresting Italians
Zori the degu 8 years ago
There's one nasty joke about the italians' unique habit to make hand gestures while speaking. It goes like this: Greeks and Italians are in war. The greeks manage to catch a spy and tie him onto a chair then they start asking him questions. Who are you, who are your allies, when are you going to attack and etc. The person doesn't say a word. Finally, after three hours of asking the same questions the greek general tells his soldiers to release the guy because he's obviously mute. They untie the Italian, who springs up on his feet and gesturing with his hands like that cries "Vinchenco!"
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Such a sad stereotypical picture. The fact all actual italians use hand gestures is practically fake as I can tell this habit is mostly of low level-nearly not schooled people and it's mostly done in the center/south of Italy. People just use this as a punctualization of a conversation mostly done in dialect and to advert the listener that he/she just said the obvious or something completely wrong that doesn't make any sense. Let's say it can be used as "what the heck?".
Guido Guy 8 years ago
Actually, gesturing is unrelated to the level of education and use of dialect. Maybe some gestures are related to that, but gesturing in general is not.
Load More Replies... #9
Nuclear Pizza
Lindsay Ameye 8 years ago
Aliens couldn't save us from that one because the space ship did not fit into the oven and also one of the laws of the Universe is you should never quit on the pizza.
Roberto Congiu 8 years ago
well, the first nuclear chain reaction was indeed done in Italy by Fermin in 1942. http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/fermi-produces-the-first-nuclear-chain-reaction
Gina Gaffney 8 years ago
Nope. http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/05/the-origin-of-pizza/
Load More Replies... #10
Fidget Spinner
Are Italian Stereotypes True?
There are so many jokes about Italian people and stereotypes about the culture. But you might be asking yourself where these generalizations come from. People think that stereotypes exist for a reason and that maybe there is some truth to them. Interestingly, researchers McCrae and Terracciano did a study on stereotypes of the typical personality characteristics of different cultures.
They found that our long-held beliefs don’t match the average personalities of members from those cultures. These stereotypes exist because we categorize people into groups, and these categories help to simplify the world around us. However, the problem is that it can over-simplify things and be harmful.
That’s why none of these Italian one-liner jokes or memes are meant to be taken seriously. Instead, we should be celebrating the beauty of Italy and the Italian culture!
#11
Italian Joke
Darrien Mae 8 years ago
Well no S**t. It's the joke of the hand gesture they make.
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frederic eeckman 8 years ago
You know you have italians OUTSIDE Italy too...
Load More Replies... #12
Liking Facebook Posts
#13
Italian Trees
#14
Italian Chef
MaddySquidCat 7 8 years ago
I've seen this post so many times yet I never realised they were all said by the same person...
Andy61 Woolner 5 years ago
I recently bought a World War 2 Italian rifle. Never fired and only dropped once
#15
Huge Pizza
Francesco D'Arcangeli 8 years ago
That's just a pizza. There's no such thing as pizza pie outside the US.
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Luca Ostuni 8 years ago
his shirt says something and then acrobatic, stunt pizza dough throwing, the most Italian stunt there is
#16
Logini
#17
Italian Loch Ness
#18
Speaking Italian
YUZAFFI 8 years ago
For all those who cant understand italian, he is saying "Pasta pasta cheese wida tomato and the garlic wida pepporoni pizza" your welcome
Laura Ferretti 8 years ago
Pepperoni pizza doesn't exist in Italy it's an American invention
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#19
Italian Bow Tie
Firestorm Glow 3 years ago
In Italy, the 'bow-tie' pasta is called Farfalle. it means butterflies.
#20
Super Mario
Helen Stuart 8 years ago
It's not degu, it's Dago. Mostly applied to Italians, as an ethnic slur but occasionally to Spaniards and portugese. Bad idea to use ethnic slurs on any of these unless you are one and carry it off. Then its a bunch of Italians calling each other Dago left and right until someone's breaker pops.
What is the Best Old Italian Joke?
Italian humor is like wine; it gets better with time. There are many hilarious old Italian dad jokes with clever wordplay and creative puns. Here’s one of the funniest:
“A psychic told me that the spirit of an old Italian chef is haunting my house.
I’m not worried; I ain’t Alfredo no ghost.”
Have you noticed that the best Italian jokes are always about food? It’s no secret that Italy has some of the best cuisine in the world. With pizzas, plates of pasta, cheeses, and wines, you’ll get a lot of delicious Italian food jokes. The delicious food doesn’t just inspire a lot of jokes; it’s also a matter of national pride. That’s precisely why Italians quickly express disgust over wrongly cooked Italian dishes.
#21
Italian Joke
Angela McKeown 4 years ago
Like any good Dad joke! I see great similar names think alike!
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#22
Italian Skin
Maurizio Bellelli 1 year ago
what a horror. If you try to sell something like this in Italy, we oblige you to eat it
Romano Margonari 7 years ago
uno strato di pasta uno di ragù ,uno di besciamella e parmigiano reggiano e poi ancora pasta , ragù , besciamella e parmigiano reggiano pasta , ragù , besciamella e parmigiano reggiano pasta , ragù , besciamella e parmigiano reggiano
Romano Margonari 7 years ago
uno strato di pasta , uno di ragù , uno di besciamella , uno di parmigiano reggiano , pasta ragù besciamella e parmigiano pasta ragù besciamella parmigiano .....
#23
Italian Screws
#24
Italian Babies
Emily Sophie Espersen 8 years ago
Reminds me of my brother but the differences is that my brother had an ICE cream moustache like an Real italien
David Wong 8 years ago
Question: Wouldn't the breast milk have garlic flavour if the mom consumes garlic ?
#25
Italian Spy
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Pizza-burger: another american recipe that has seen Italy only from lightyears away.....
Joshua Molina 8 years ago
Pizza Burger why not, it can infiltrate my stomach, my to favorite fast foods. I'm both Italian and Spaniard, I'm only partly Italian on my dad's side.
#26
Italian Parking Tickets
Lola Bronchetti 8 years ago
Yummy Pizza Ticket I'd probably want to get pulled over so I could get Pizza
#27
Applauding The Italian Way
Philip Ion 4 years ago
At least now we know the answer to the question about the sound of one hand clapping!
#28
Italian Language
Manuel Faraon 8 years ago
"ottenere selvatici" actually means "to obtain savages" . Don't trust Google too much! ;-)
Valentina Lattante 8 years ago
AHAHAHAH "ottenere selvatici" :D :D muoio!
Load More Replies... Signorina Buono 8 years ago
ermh I'm Italian and this is very wrong. Mettersi a nudo = let someone see yourself for what you truly are. Ottenere selvatici = lol, it doesn't make sense, it' s something like to obtain wild ones?? Sono incinta con il bambino = I slept with the baby and he got me pregnant??! Dafuq
Darrien Mae 8 years ago
Google translate says this: Stripping becomes wild I'm pregnant with your baby
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Michele Massuoli 8 years ago
get naked: spogliati ; get wild: diventa selvaggia; I'm pregnant with your child: sono incinta del tuo bambino
Firestorm Glow 3 years ago
Love for relationships is Ti/Te Amo, but family/platonic love is "Ti voglio bene' which literally translates into 'I want you well'
Vittoria Vinciguerra 8 years ago
Mi sento meno italiana adesso, perché non ho mai ottenuto selvatici...
Silvia Bertozzi 8 years ago
" mettersi a nudo " means to self - expose. "Spogliati" means get naked. If you gotta write about it do know what you write.
Gv Gv 3 years ago
I'm 100% Italian but am 3rd generation American. From all the corrections to the original post, I think that the translation is the issue as the statement is dependent on SLANG and not formal Italian. Google and other translation services do not include slang interpretation and the ones that do are terrible!! So I would agree that the meaning of this joke was in past tense NOT present. Otherwise the read is much different . The woman is already pregnant and telling the guy to get naked, get wild pregnant with your child. Now the joke makes sense BECAUSE SHE knows something he doesn't....yet!! NOW the joke IS FUNNY!
Load More Replies... Silvia Bertozzi 8 years ago
mettersi a nudo means to self- expose, not to get naked. Spogliati means get naked.
#29
Spaghetti Gown
The Italian Turkey Bros 6 years ago
I'll Bringa da Garlic Bread so we can dip
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#30
Italian Blood
#31
Italian Kidnapping
#33
Italian To Do List
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
We have QWERTY keyboards and no, we don't type like this if somebody's asking.
Load More Replies... #34
Jokes About Italians
Gv Gv 3 years ago
See now I'm 100% Italian and 3rd generation American born and raised in America! I don't take offense and want to burn stores, destroy cars and properly nor chant and wear t shirts that say ITALIAN LIVES MATTER! ITS A JOKE!! WE AS humans beings need to stop looking for racism in EVERY DAMM THING!!: NAMING THE LATEST X-RAY MACHINE MALCOM.....THAT'S RACIST. Burger King naming its latest creation the Martin Luther King or MLK Burger IS RACIST! ITALIAN seasoned bagels called DAGELS IS RACIST! THE message here being that racism is not funny but hurtful and insulting ! This photo merely pokes fun at an Italian hand gesture! We get it ,its funny, ha ha, life goes on! I agree that sometimes there IS A fine line between funny and racist or innocent comment and racist. Just stop intentionally looking for it or you'll even find it while reading the Bible!!
#35
Italian Joke
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Never thought of using agnolotti (the actual name of it) as contraceptive.... Thank goodness we have the factory that makes the most expensive condoms on Earth.
Laura Ferretti 8 years ago
Ah perché agnolotti può essere un altro nome per sottointendere i ravioli? Non mi ricordavo haha
Load More Replies... #36
Italian Jokes
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
"Gay" in Italian is simply "Gay" or if you want to be precise: omosessuale. These "fagottini" are simply "dumplings".
Maurizio Bellelli 1 year ago
Sorry, I'm italian and live in Italy, I can't understand the joke, will someone help me please?
Gv Gv 3 years ago
Not like that. F*g is a slang word. If you try to Italian translate the word you will get an error message or the British meaning ...a cigarette, or a bundle of sticks or kindling. In Italian as in English gay means happy or joyful. The ACTUAL word which is informal or even slang is Finocchio ( heard as fin- ook phonetically). Even homosexual will translate as a sexual man, therefore losing its insulting intent.
Becca The Bear 8 years ago
An inappropriate slang for gay is f****t (I'm gay)
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#37
Italian Guns
Morgan the Manatee 8 years ago
Um...yes. Yes, of course it is photoshopped lol
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Cayman 8 years ago
Actually, no photoshop would be needed. If they googled pasta maker and then typed italian machine gun ww2 without hitting enter, it would look like this.
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Gv Gv 3 years ago
If you want to be more specific here, a gun that cranks to fire was the Gatling gun used during Civil War and on into the earth 20th century when the machine gun was invented. So Italian gun here just doesn't make sense. I'm 100%"Italian And 3rd generation American. I own a manual pasta machine with the crank and used it many times with my parents and grandparents when they got too tired to continue...for me as a kid, it was fun/ playtime!!
#38
Jokes About Italians
#39
Italian Tragedy
#40
Italians Holding Hands
What Are Some Signs That You Are Italian?
Whether you want to find a community to relate to or know if you fit into the Italian culture, here are a few obvious signs that you might be Italian:
- Your entire family is probably loud. Everyone wants to be heard, and people will end up talking over each other. But that’s all good because it keeps things lively.
- Nobody can beat your grandma’s cooking. Plus, you’ll be disowned if she cooks something for you and you don’t finish your plate.
- Although this might seem like one of the most stereotypical Italian jokes, it’s somewhat true. If your wooden cooking spoon is only used 60% of the time for cooking and as a disciplining weapon for the rest, you might be Italian.
- You would never fall for obvious tourist scams in Italy, and how people do baffles your mind.
- You hate when people pronounce Italian words wrong, and you wish you could give them a Pisa your mind.
- You’re shocked when people think Olive Garden is the epitome of Italian food. You also can’t believe the multitude of ways in which people ruin Italian dishes.
#41
Italian Joke
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Meth is widely unknown in Italy....but there's opium. Fields of opium poppies.
#42
Italian Currency
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Italian's currency....if only there would be pasta...more an empty wallet would say nowadays....
#43
Writing Like An Italian
#44
Italian Drawing Tutorial
#45
Italian Soldiers
Darrien Mae 8 years ago
If burgers were lined up saying "USA soldiers ready for battle" I guarantee there would be no Americans taking offense, not even soldiers.
BinaSplit982 8 years ago
I'm sure of that. Sometimes my people, proud of their kindness and sociality, forget how to laugh. By the way simone von bianco I could eat pizza 24/7 if my body could. Important is the quality.
Load More Replies... Darrien Mae 8 years ago
Oh my god it's not like there's pictures of actual dead bodies laying in a field. Y'all need to learn how to take a joke.
Laura Ferretti 8 years ago
I don't understand why I have so much negative upvotes
Load More Replies... #46
Italian Car Interiors
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
This is chorizo salami and isn't sold in Italy at all. It's the one americans use to make their "pepperoni pizza" that isn't even an italian recipe. If one day we would make "pepperoni pizza" for sure would use peppers, that at least in italian is "peperoni"....
#48
Italian Memes
#49
Italian Army Helmet
Final score:
30points
#50
Italian Food
Why Is Everyone Making Italian Hand Jokes?
One of the funniest Italian jokes ever is how Italians always make THAT hand gesture. You know exactly which one we’re talking about! This became one of the most famous jokes about Italian people because it is slightly based on fact. Italians do use a lot of hand gestures!
They are very expressive with their face and hands when discussing any topic. They don’t like to keep still, and each hand gesture expresses a different meaning. These subtle cultural intricacies and unique behaviors will certainly make you fall in love with Italy!
One of the best ways you can appreciate a culture is by learning its languages. In this case, you can do it by making jokes in Italian. Learn how to speak fluent Italian with this humorous guide that uses the famous Italian hand gesture.
#51
Italian Emo
Scary Terri 8 years ago
Because Emos are cutters, they like to cut themselves
Load More Replies... #52
Checking The Weather
#53
Jokes About Italians
Mirko Mora 8 years ago
This is everytime when an italian guy goes out of Italy and eat in a "very italian restaurant"...
Joshua Molina 8 years ago
Are there real Italian restaurants in America? I haven't seen any, that I know of. Well I'm my dad's only part Italian, I'm only part Italian on his side.
#54
Italian Navy
#55
Italian Ducks
PyroarRanger 8 years ago
*quacks in Italian accent* "DO YOU HAVE ANY NOODLES? BECAUSE WE WOULD LIKE TO EAT SOME!"
#56
How Italians Shoot
#57
Italian Sleeping Bag
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Aaaand again we have a winner: hot pockets are nowhere to be possibly bought in Italy, so this is completely wrong in many ways. 1) It's an american snack/dish/whatever 2) tastes and looks like pizza from a very long distance (maybe)
Noemi Tarallo 8 years ago
Sure...But, sad to let you know, we never heve seen this tomato-burrito in Italy XD
Allana Rose 8 years ago
How squishy though!! It would prob. give u heartburn to be eating all that at night and then you would also get a lot of sauce between your toes *L*
#58
Italian Hand Grenade
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
I don't see even an italian product here. Would have been funnier if at least there was a real italian label.
#59
Italian Bones
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Another american product that isn't made by italians nor sold in Italy at all....
#60
How Italian People Smoke
#61
Italians Sleeping
#63
Italian Memes
#64
Marinara Baptism
Martin 8 years ago
Those are meat balls :0 .... not that I think thats an improvement
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Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Marinara sauce isn't an italian recipe....and simply don't care if somebody has long forgotten italian roots...as of 2017, current time, nobody makes this thing.
Noemi Tarallo 8 years ago
When i was in Chicago lot of ppl used to tell me" cmon i bring you to an actual italian restaurant" or something. After my first sandwich mozzarella/pesto/tomato/VINEGAR and my second maccheroni, i discovered JAPANESE BBQ. Sushi and grilled beef r almost the same everywhere. The only eatable usa thing that i found were bagels. I love em
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#67
Pass The Ranch
#68
How Italians Play Piano
#69
Italians Drinking Coffee
Noemi Tarallo 8 years ago
Yes we do. But with the right espresso or Moka coffee cup. This big mug is for what? The brown herb tea the rest of the world call COFFEE?! 😎😎😓
#70
Italian Gamers
Pasta La Vista, and on to the Next!
We’ve finally come to the end of these fantastic Italy jokes. Hopefully, it has helped you fall a little more in love with this beautiful country. Learning about the unspoken Italian rules is best if you plan to travel to Italy soon. Try to be on your best behavior and use it as a space to test out some of your favorite Italian jokes from this list (at your own risk).
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What do you think ?
Daniel Marsh 8 years ago
How many times can you make the same joke about ONE Italian hand gesture?
Daniel Marsh 8 years ago
The ITALIEN one was funny.... none after that were.
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Jim Sterrett 8 years ago
think this is more a bunch of jokes about new yorkers that think theyre italian
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Can't be more in agreement with Mr. Sterrett. These memes even being disrespectfully funny have nothing to do with actual or real stuff. In the food related ones especially, there's not even an actual italian brand or an actual true food/recipe...
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Caterina Bolognesi 8 years ago
Just to let you know... that gesture you use ALL the time, here in Italy it mostly means "What the F**K do you want?"... Just to let you know...
Donatella Cristoforetti 7 years ago
Donatella Cristoforetti I am Italian and I find it very funny please more!!
Baking Cactus 4 years ago
Haha whoops! Looks like you thought stereotypes were funny so you posted them for your own benefit!
Maurizio Borsotti 6 years ago
naaaa! I'm sorry but you are referring EXCLUSIVELY to one third of italians (the ones who migrated especially to USA and Germany a long time ago). They are from deep south, where mafia and pasta were born. Nowadays also the remaining parts of italy have been invaded by people from the south and mafia and past and that way of using hands has become quite common also here in the north. But some small towns far from immigration places still resist living and behaving in civilized way! So, in Northern and Central Italy we have the same jokes about "terroni" (while in the north we are called "polentoni") even if the "politically correct" and the extinction of local population are making this world sad.
Flash Kellam 8 years ago
Wedding guest: That’s Don Corleone. They say he’s the biggest Mafia gangster, killer, and racketeer in the world. Heavy-Set Man: Hey, you. I’m from the Italian Anti-Defamation League. Don’t you know you’re not supposed to use the word ‘Mafia’? Wedding guest: Sorry. I meant to say he’s the biggest Italian gangster, killer, and racketeer in the world. Heavy-Set Man: Dat’s better.
Pobin Rice 8 years ago
No no no...... just ask an Italian to order a "gin AND tonic"............ you won't be disappointed
Daniel Marsh 8 years ago
How many times can you make the same joke about ONE Italian hand gesture?
Daniel Marsh 8 years ago
The ITALIEN one was funny.... none after that were.
Load More Replies... Jim Sterrett 8 years ago
think this is more a bunch of jokes about new yorkers that think theyre italian
Baron Simone Von Bianco 8 years ago
Can't be more in agreement with Mr. Sterrett. These memes even being disrespectfully funny have nothing to do with actual or real stuff. In the food related ones especially, there's not even an actual italian brand or an actual true food/recipe...
Load More Replies... Caterina Bolognesi 8 years ago
Just to let you know... that gesture you use ALL the time, here in Italy it mostly means "What the F**K do you want?"... Just to let you know...
Donatella Cristoforetti 7 years ago
Donatella Cristoforetti I am Italian and I find it very funny please more!!
Baking Cactus 4 years ago
Haha whoops! Looks like you thought stereotypes were funny so you posted them for your own benefit!
Maurizio Borsotti 6 years ago
naaaa! I'm sorry but you are referring EXCLUSIVELY to one third of italians (the ones who migrated especially to USA and Germany a long time ago). They are from deep south, where mafia and pasta were born. Nowadays also the remaining parts of italy have been invaded by people from the south and mafia and past and that way of using hands has become quite common also here in the north. But some small towns far from immigration places still resist living and behaving in civilized way! So, in Northern and Central Italy we have the same jokes about "terroni" (while in the north we are called "polentoni") even if the "politically correct" and the extinction of local population are making this world sad.
Flash Kellam 8 years ago
Wedding guest: That’s Don Corleone. They say he’s the biggest Mafia gangster, killer, and racketeer in the world. Heavy-Set Man: Hey, you. I’m from the Italian Anti-Defamation League. Don’t you know you’re not supposed to use the word ‘Mafia’? Wedding guest: Sorry. I meant to say he’s the biggest Italian gangster, killer, and racketeer in the world. Heavy-Set Man: Dat’s better.
Pobin Rice 8 years ago
No no no...... just ask an Italian to order a "gin AND tonic"............ you won't be disappointed
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