We humans often want to have it all figured out—the right career, the perfect relationship, an interesting social life, and great health. Sadly, things don’t always go as planned. While a work-life balance is the ultimate goal for many, when one thing excels, the other usually suffers. Bending over backwards for your employer doesn’t automatically lead to success, and one man’s story certainly proves it.

Recently, user dailybrood32 shared a cautionary tale on the Anti Work subreddit about how his high-pressure job required him to work long hours. After listening to his bosses claiming that all this will be worth it in the long run, he ended up ruining his marriage instead.

“I embraced the grind lifestyle. Worked late, worked weekends, worked holidays and on vacation while my wife sat around by herself,” the author wrote. While surrendering to this collective urge to work harder, stronger, and faster in hopes of a brighter future, people forget to actually live in the present. Read on for the full story.

Man shares a cautionary tale about how trying to climb the corporate ladder and wanting to provide a nicer life for his wife ruined their marriage

Image credits: C D-X (not the actual photo)

In just a few days, dailybrood32’s post received more than 23.7K upvotes and 2.4K comments. After opening up about how a simple desire to have a home and a stable life backfired on him, many different replies started pouring in— from hate to compassion, to people sharing their own similar experiences.

After receiving so many reactions, the user added: “I was trying to give my wife a good life. I admitted I made the wrong choice. Not looking for sympathy, trying to warn you to avoid my mistakes.” He also mentioned that he is a lawyer himself, so when some people commented about the legal implications of his actions, he informed them that he was not going to get sued.

Lastly, dailybrood32 mentioned that he has already found a new job and started a new relationship. And while things are looking up for him, the author still wishes that fellow members of Ask Reddit would learn from his mistakes.

If you see yourself reflected in this story, there are some things you could try to improve the situation before it’s too late. “By recognizing the early symptoms and being proactive, you can better learn to separate work from your personal life—and be successful in both,” Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant told Business Insider.

First, you should be honest with yourself and acknowledge that there are problems that need to be dealt with. Notice if you’re constantly bringing your work problems home, if your job dominates all of your conversations and thoughts, and, especially, if your significant other starts to get tired of it.

“You may be fortunate enough to have a partner who has a high tolerance to ‘feeling your pain,’ but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting them personally,” Taylor mentioned. So try to imagine yourself in your spouse’s shoes: “Would you be worn out by the frequency or toxicity of the conversation over time?”

Also, you can ask your closest friends or family members if they think that work is your main chat topic. If they say yes, that will only confirm it. But if they say no, that isn’t to say that it doesn’t happen at home. So, of course, you can talk to your partner about it, and a good idea is to always ask them if they want to hear you talk and vent about your job before doing it.

“Before you broach the subject of that morning’s staff meeting or the project due by Friday, catch yourself and ask your partner if the topic is evoking too much concern or frustration. Tell them that you greatly appreciate their honesty because you value your personal time with them and need a reality check occasionally,” the expert advised.

Needless to say, self-reflecting and analyzing the balance between your professional and personal life is helpful. If you learn that your spouse is unhappy with your work spilling into your daily life, you can also try seeking advice from a career coach or therapist, or make some changes in your career.

It’s no secret that communication is key, so if you’ve decided that your job is not worth risking your marriage for, discuss it, make a plan, and involve your partner in the decision-making process.

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