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Man Seeks Guidance After Jewish Roommate Expects Him To Compromise His Lifestyle For His Religion
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Man Seeks Guidance After Jewish Roommate Expects Him To Compromise His Lifestyle For His Religion

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What would you do if your roommate told you that you couldn’t use the oven in the apartment you both pay for? Imagine moving in with someone and everything is going great until—BAM—your Jewish roommate tells you the oven is off-limits. Yep, the oven that came with the apartment. Now you’re left feeling like you’re walking on eggshells in your own home.

That’s exactly what our storyteller, we’ll just call him Alex, went through when his Jewish roommate decided to impose some pretty strict ground rules regarding the usage of appliances in their shared apartment.

More info: Reddit

Man banned by his Jewish roommate from using the oven and fridge in the apartment they share, as his food is not kosher

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

After moving in with the Jewish roommate, man finds out that he is only allowed to have kosher food in the apartment they both pay for

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Image credits: WonkWolf

The poster is willing to make some adjustments to respect his new roommate’s religion, but being banned from the oven and fridge entirely is a bridge too far

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: WonkWolf

The man is not willing to change his lifestyle completely to accommodate the religious roommate and suggests they go talk to a rabbi together

Image credits: Andrew Valdivia (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: WonkWolf

Since moving into a new place, Alex has found himself in quite a pickle. His Jewish roommate laid out a few kitchen rules that are a bit too challenging. He told Alex that the oven and even the fridge are off-limits for anything non-kosher. For those not in the know, kosher food preparation involves specific dietary laws, and some Jewish people are very strict about it. From separating utensils when cooking and serving dairy products to preparing the meat in a very specific way, there are quite a few rules that Jewish people should follow when it comes to eating kosher.

Although Alex isn’t Jewish, he wants to be respectful of his roommate’s beliefs. However, he feels that it is unfair to be banned from using the oven in the apartment they are both paying for, especially as he was not made aware of these “rules” before moving in. Imagine being told you can’t cook your favorite lasagna or bake cookies because they’re not kosher. That’s exactly what Alex is dealing with.

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Sharing an apartment and respecting each other’s space is one thing, but asking someone to completely change their lifestyle for someone else’s religious practices? That’s a whole new level. Alex was cool with using different plates and utensils, but being told he couldn’t use the oven or the fridge was a step too far.

Upset, Alex is at his wit’s end. When you’re paying half the rent, you expect to have access to all the amenities, right? Imagine moving into a place thinking you’ll be able to whip up your favorite meals, only to find out you can’t because of someone else’s rules.

Image credits: JOSBRA design (not the actual photo)

So, what’s a guy to do? Cook some bacon as revenge or find a more peaceful solution? Alex decided to take the high road. He suggested to his roommate that they talk to a rabbi to find the best compromise for both of them. He was not trying to be antisemitic or disrespectful in any way, he just wanted to use the kitchen in his house, without feeling like he was breaking some sacred law. After all, everyone should be able to feel comfortable in their own home.

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Pretty smart move, right? According to an article on how to resolve conflicts with a roommate, “regardless of whether you are living with a good friend or someone you met on move-in day, there is likely going to be a time or two where you have an issue with what your roommate is saying or doing. The key to a successful relationship is not based on whether or not you have a conflict, but rather how you respond to it.”

Resolving these issues starts with analyzing the conflict with a calm attitude, as the wrong kind of response or reaction could easily escalate the issues. Working together and focusing on the future would be the next steps in mending the dispute. “Make a commitment to work together and listen to each other to solve the conflict,” the article states. Which is exactly what Alex did when he suggested to his roommate they go and talk to a rabbi together to try and figure things out. However, after all of Alex’s efforts, the roommate was not having any of it.

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Sharing a home with someone is all about respect and communication with a sprinkle of compromise on top. Conflict is inevitable, especially when you’re sharing a small space with someone, but it can be prevented. Setting clear expectations and stating your boundaries right from the start is the best way to try to prevent a conflict, like the one Alex and his roommate had. In their case, it sounds like there was a lack of upfront honesty coming from the roommate about what living with strict kosher rules would mean. What he called small changes were actually pretty major, so Alex felt misled.

What did you think of Alex’s story? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.

People online side with the man, saying that the oven is common property and he should be able to use it

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Monica Selvi

Monica Selvi

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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Monica Selvi

Monica Selvi

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

Read less »

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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David
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just so everyone knows, the headline is false and clickbait. If you click on the reddit link, OP admits in the comments that the roommate was there first. When he moved in, he signed an agreement with his now roommate to follow kosher rules and keep the kitchen kosher in the apartment. All these things he is complaining about, he agreed to in advance. However as he states on Reddit :" I didn't realize what this would mean or how unfair it is to me or what a big ask this was. But I know better now and I feel it is unreasonable." and similar comments. In fact when many people brought this up he stated "Doesn't matter. I'm contributing to rent. I'm paying to access the kitchen." and "I'm not gonna change the way I eat for him. He ain't effing me. He ain't dating me. And his religion has no say in my life. It's HIS religion. Not mine." And other such comments. He made an agreement to keep the kitchen kosher, and is trying to make himself as the victim for trying to renege

Papa
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for posting that. I was all ready to type out "I can't use the oven? Hide and watch!" but that completely changes the situation.

Load More Replies...
David
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Orthodox Jew here. Zero issue with sharing a fridge, so I dont know what his friends issue with that is, as long as his Kosher items are tamper proof sealed (ie use tape) there is no issue of sharing a fridge. As to oven, if you double seal the food with 2 complete sealings you can use a non-kosher oven (not ideal but is how airline kosher meals are reheated actually). For stove top, just have your own set of kosher pots. The roommate (who he says is not Orthodox but keeps kosher) knows the basic rules, but not well educated on it. But this is the reason why Orthodox Jews dont rent apartments with non-kosher keepers. However there is one issue not addressed here, was this rented together, or who rented it first? (if the roommate rented it first, and there was a miscommunication about the rules when he joined, that would explain a lot). Edit: I clicked on the reddit link, and OP said the roommate was there first, he just moved in, and that he agreed before to follow kosher rules in the kitchen as part of the agreement, but then said he didnt realize how many rules there were and he feels it is unreasonable. I am sorry, you agreed to something, you dont get to change it. Forget the rules and technicalities I mentioned, OP is 100% in the wrong. I am on the roommates side

Ephemera Image
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely agree. I'm atheist, but if I agreed to those rules (I would not if I found them too onerous) I would keep to the agreement. That would be true of any agreement I made, no different. If the rules were laid out prior to the agreement, the OP has no excuse for suddenly thinking it's too much.

Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, this person sounds pretty stupid. They knew they were moving into a Kosher house from the beginning. If they had a problem with it, they should never have moved in.

Load More Comments
David
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just so everyone knows, the headline is false and clickbait. If you click on the reddit link, OP admits in the comments that the roommate was there first. When he moved in, he signed an agreement with his now roommate to follow kosher rules and keep the kitchen kosher in the apartment. All these things he is complaining about, he agreed to in advance. However as he states on Reddit :" I didn't realize what this would mean or how unfair it is to me or what a big ask this was. But I know better now and I feel it is unreasonable." and similar comments. In fact when many people brought this up he stated "Doesn't matter. I'm contributing to rent. I'm paying to access the kitchen." and "I'm not gonna change the way I eat for him. He ain't effing me. He ain't dating me. And his religion has no say in my life. It's HIS religion. Not mine." And other such comments. He made an agreement to keep the kitchen kosher, and is trying to make himself as the victim for trying to renege

Papa
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for posting that. I was all ready to type out "I can't use the oven? Hide and watch!" but that completely changes the situation.

Load More Replies...
David
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Orthodox Jew here. Zero issue with sharing a fridge, so I dont know what his friends issue with that is, as long as his Kosher items are tamper proof sealed (ie use tape) there is no issue of sharing a fridge. As to oven, if you double seal the food with 2 complete sealings you can use a non-kosher oven (not ideal but is how airline kosher meals are reheated actually). For stove top, just have your own set of kosher pots. The roommate (who he says is not Orthodox but keeps kosher) knows the basic rules, but not well educated on it. But this is the reason why Orthodox Jews dont rent apartments with non-kosher keepers. However there is one issue not addressed here, was this rented together, or who rented it first? (if the roommate rented it first, and there was a miscommunication about the rules when he joined, that would explain a lot). Edit: I clicked on the reddit link, and OP said the roommate was there first, he just moved in, and that he agreed before to follow kosher rules in the kitchen as part of the agreement, but then said he didnt realize how many rules there were and he feels it is unreasonable. I am sorry, you agreed to something, you dont get to change it. Forget the rules and technicalities I mentioned, OP is 100% in the wrong. I am on the roommates side

Ephemera Image
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely agree. I'm atheist, but if I agreed to those rules (I would not if I found them too onerous) I would keep to the agreement. That would be true of any agreement I made, no different. If the rules were laid out prior to the agreement, the OP has no excuse for suddenly thinking it's too much.

Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, this person sounds pretty stupid. They knew they were moving into a Kosher house from the beginning. If they had a problem with it, they should never have moved in.

Load More Comments
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