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“You Can Only Pretend So Much”: Jennifer Lopez’s First Husband Shares Details About Their Breakup
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“You Can Only Pretend So Much”: Jennifer Lopez’s First Husband Shares Details About Their Breakup

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Ojani Noa, Jennifer Lopez’s first husband, says he empathizes with Ben Affleck and has offered the actress some relationship advice amid her recent divorce.

Jennifer and Ojani met when he was working as a waiter in Miami in 1997. The two were immediately attracted to each other. They got married the same year and divorced a year later.

Highlights
  • Jennifer recently filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences.
  • Jennifer's first husband, Ojani Noa, empathized with Ben Affleck, saying he was also "in a bad mood" when he was with the star.
  • Ojani advised Jennifer to stay single for a while and focus on herself without rushing into another marriage.

The Selena actress recently filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage. According to the New York Post, Jennifer cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split.

Image credits: ojaninoa1

Many netizens speculated that Ben was unhappy in the relationship, arguing that he often appeared to be in a bad mood when he was around the Marry Me singer.

When asked about this rumor, Ojani said he saw similarities between himself and the actor, whom he described as looking like he wanted “to break someone’s head off.”

“In my own ­experience [married to Jennifer], we would have ­disagreements in the car, and then 20 minutes later, we’d have to sit and pretend everything was fine,” the Cuban personal trainer and model told The DailyMail.

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“But you can only pretend so much,” he added. “When we were going through hell and going out as a couple, I was in a bad mood, too. Because I knew inside we were not good. I hated going on the red carpet.”

Ojani noted similarities between his relationship with Jennifer and Ben Affleck’s, as both men struggled with the intense media scrutiny of their private lives

Image credits: Christopher Polk/Golden Globes 2024

During their short-lived marriage, Ojani advised his wife to “be private.”

“You can’t be real in a relationship if you’re always being photographed,” he allegedly told her.

In Jennifer’s documentary, The Greatest Love Story Never Told, Ben said that he had learned to compromise with the singer over “the amount of scrutiny” around their private lives.

Jennifer and Ojani met in 1997 when he was working as a waiter at a restaurant in Miami

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Image credits: Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection

The Argo actor further admitted that the overwhelming media attention had been the catalyst for their first breakup in 2004. The pair began dating in 2002 after meeting on the set of Gigli.

“I had a very firm sense of boundaries, initially, around the press,” Ben said in the documentary, which premiered in February 2024.

“Getting back together, I said, ‘Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media,'” he recalled. “And then I sort of realized it’s not a fair thing to ask. It’s sort of like you’re gonna marry a boat captain and [say] like, ‘Well, I don’t like the water.'”

Image credits: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic

In 2022, Ojani told the outlet that he was not “convinced” that Bennifer 2.0 would last.

“Ben is husband number four. I was husband number one, and she told me I was the love of her life,” he said.

During the recent interview, he added that he would “in no way” be interested in rekindling his romance with his ex-wife.

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He also suggested that Jennifer “stay single for a while” and “take 12 months off.”

“If she meets someone new, maybe keep it private and not get ­married again.

“She has an amazing career, and she’s a hard-working, beautiful woman, but when you’re with someone, you have to spend quality time with them and not think about being on camera.

“I would just say to Jen: you need to be yourself so you can find yourself.”

Jennifer recently filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage

Image credits: John Shearer/Getty Images

In addition to Ojani and Ben, Jennifer married dancer Cris Judd and singer Marc Anthony in 2001 and 2004, respectively.

Following their divorce, Jennifer sued Ojani after he wanted to publish a book about their marriage and release a documentary using private footage from their honeymoon.

In 2012, the star claimed that Ojani had blackmailed her, demanding $3,780,000 in exchange for not revealing intimate details about their relationship, according to Standard.

“I knew inside we were not good. I hated going on the red carpet,” Ojani said

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Image credits: Barry King/WireImage

After being informed that the manuscript of his book violated a confidentiality agreement with the singer, he reportedly demanded the money when contacted by Jennifer’s lawyers.

The On the Floor singer was recently spotted having a friendly lunch with Ben. The two are “still moving forward with their divorce” and “working out financial details amicably,” a source told People Magazine.

While many agreed with Ojani’s words, others suggested he should move on instead of offering advice to Jennifer

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Marina Urman

Marina Urman

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Marina is a journalist at Bored Panda. Born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, she holds a Bachelor of Social Science. In her spare time, you can find her baking sweet treats, reading, or binge-watching a docuseries on Netflix. Her main areas of interest are pop culture, literature, and education.

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Marina Urman

Marina Urman

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Marina is a journalist at Bored Panda. Born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, she holds a Bachelor of Social Science. In her spare time, you can find her baking sweet treats, reading, or binge-watching a docuseries on Netflix. Her main areas of interest are pop culture, literature, and education.

Karina Babenok

Karina Babenok

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

As a visual editor in the News team, I look for the most interesting pictures and comments to make each post interesting and informative through images, so that you aren't reading only blocks of text. I joined Bored Panda not that long ago, but in this short amount of time I have covered a wide range of topics: from true crime to Taylor Swift memes (my search history is very questionable because of that).In my freetime, I enjoy spending time at the gym, gaming, binging Great British Bake Off and adding yet another tattoo artist that I would love to get a tattoo from to my pinterest board.

Read less »

Karina Babenok

Karina Babenok

Author, BoredPanda staff

As a visual editor in the News team, I look for the most interesting pictures and comments to make each post interesting and informative through images, so that you aren't reading only blocks of text. I joined Bored Panda not that long ago, but in this short amount of time I have covered a wide range of topics: from true crime to Taylor Swift memes (my search history is very questionable because of that).In my freetime, I enjoy spending time at the gym, gaming, binging Great British Bake Off and adding yet another tattoo artist that I would love to get a tattoo from to my pinterest board.

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lslysaght avatar
Linda Lysaght
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is completely overexposed and the result will not be good for her. She should probably avoid marriage from here on out. Didn't she have a long-term relationship with a baseball player too?

lslysaght avatar
Linda Lysaght
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is completely overexposed and the result will not be good for her. She should probably avoid marriage from here on out. Didn't she have a long-term relationship with a baseball player too?

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