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Teacher Pretends Insults From 12 Y.O. Student Are Compliments, Entertains Class But Makes Boy Cry
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Teacher Pretends Insults From 12 Y.O. Student Are Compliments, Entertains Class But Makes Boy Cry

Teacher Pretends Insults From 12 Y.O. Student Are Compliments, Entertains Class But Makes Boy CryTeacher Prevents 12 Y.O. From Landing Insults The Way He Wanted Using Humor And Brings Him To TearsDisruptive Student Cries After Teacher Pretends To Not Speak Japanese And Understand His InsultsTeacher Pretends To Not Speak Japanese Due To 12 Y.O. Hurling Swear Words, Brings Him To TearsTeacher Pretends To Not Speak Japanese Because Of 12 Y.O.’s Behavior, Brings Him To Tears12 Y.O. Student's Toughness Leaves His Body As Soon As Teacher Turns His Insults Into A JokeTeacher Pretends Insults From 12 Y.O. Student Are Compliments, Entertains Class But Makes Boy CryTeacher Pretends Insults From 12 Y.O. Student Are Compliments, Entertains Class But Makes Boy CryTeacher Pretends Insults From 12 Y.O. Student Are Compliments, Entertains Class But Makes Boy CryTeacher Pretends Insults From 12 Y.O. Student Are Compliments, Entertains Class But Makes Boy Cry
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Sometimes a teacher receives no help from parents or school administration with a student who interrupts the lessons or makes others uncomfortable and gets to navigate using their skills, experience, and… humor.

This Redditor shared how she addressed a student hurling swear words at her by pretending these were compliments and asked if she was a jerk to do so because the student ended up crying.

More info: Reddit

A teacher who has a lot of experience with goofy kids and loves teaching them still had a problem with one such student

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

The 12-year-old was disrupting others a lot and making them uncomfortable

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Image credit: u/NoNinhongo12345

Image credits: Norma Mortenson (not the actual photo)

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Image credit: u/NoNinhongo12345

Administration let the teacher know she was on her own and didn’t even inform the boy’s parents

Image credits: Leohoho (not the actual photo)

This one time the boy spent most of the class hurling insults at the teacher, so she pretended to not understand them

A woman brought her story to the Reddit AITA community online asking if she was a jerk to pretend she thought the boy’s insults were compliments, which resulted in him bursting into tears.

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The woman explained that she is an English teacher who teaches in Japan and loves her job. Even though the woman has a lot of experience with goofy kids and adores them, the 12-year-old boy “Sam” is quite challenging to have in class.

The boy is extremely disruptive and often makes other kids uncomfortable, to say the least. The teacher informed the school administration but was told she was on her own and even the kid’s parents were not informed.

This one time the boy took up a new approach and spent most of the class hurling insults like “disgusting” or “a stupid old lady” at the teacher in Japanese. As a foreign teacher, the woman is strictly forbidden to speak Japanese in the class, so what she did instead was to thank him for the compliments.

The boy kept trying to insult the teacher throughout the class, with her pretending these were compliments, until by the end of the class, the boy got so frustrated he burst into tears. The woman’s coworkers saw the boy was crying and she got chastised after she explained what happened. 

The teacher was simply asking the boy what he said and thanking him for the compliments

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Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)

By the end of the class, the boy burst into tears, and the woman got chastised by colleagues for making the kid cry

The woman’s post gathered 7.6k upvotes on Reddit and people judged the woman was not a jerk in this situation, noting that the boy’s reaction and crying was due to frustration over not being able to land the insults as he intended, as the teacher didn’t acknowledge them.

Addressing the difficult behavior of a similar age group as the OP’s students was discussed by Preston Ni for Psychology Today and he listed avoiding getting triggered and giving away one’s power, in addition to not taking such behavior personally, among the tips for adults.

The researcher also made an important distinction between mild and serious situations. In mild situations, he suggested maintaining humor, showing empathy and not overreacting; in other words, staying above the din with trivial matters.

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However, in serious situations, when a teenager insists on violating rules and boundaries, it is advised to not take ‘no’ for an answer and deploy consequences. He explains that effectively articulated consequence gives pause and compels the student to shift from resistance to cooperation.

When it comes to responding to behavioral challenges specifically in the classroom, Marial Ferlick noted that the teacher’s first goal is often to de-escalate the situation. She reminded that if the student is disrupting the classroom in a major way, it’s not necessarily the right time to reprimand the student. Sometimes it might be a good idea to calm the situation down and to handle other issues privately when tensions are not high.

Finally, she suggested giving acceptable alternatives for challenging behavior, such as suggesting to draw to keep one’s hands busy, rather than simply saying ‘stop’; or resetting the situation by asking the student to step outside for a few minutes to take a breath of fresh air.

What’s your take on the situation? Please, share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Redditors shared their takes on the situation

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Aura Vyšniauskaitė

Aura Vyšniauskaitė

Writer, Community member

Read more »

Aura is a writer at Bored Panda. She finished her BA in Philosophy at Vilnius University. She lived in Prague for a few years, where she worked in Trade Compliance at DHL Express. Finally, she came back to Vilnius to continue her studies in Philosophy.

Read less »
Aura Vyšniauskaitė

Aura Vyšniauskaitė

Writer, Community member

Aura is a writer at Bored Panda. She finished her BA in Philosophy at Vilnius University. She lived in Prague for a few years, where she worked in Trade Compliance at DHL Express. Finally, she came back to Vilnius to continue her studies in Philosophy.

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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BarkingSpider
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've made kids cry. Not my proudest moments, but sometimes they need to understand other people's feelings by having feelings of their own. I wonder if his behavior is due to struggling in the class. His parents should have been contacted before it got to this point.

Daria
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actions have consequences. It's the lesson ALL people (especially children) should learn as early as possible. Kids may cry for all kinds of reasons, but this one was actually beneficial.

Load More Replies...
Marno C.
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He didn't cry because she was mean to him. His crying was a natural consequence because he felt frustrated over his bad efforts being thwarted. He essentially made himself cry because his target didn't react as he wanted. Natural consequences are a great teaching tool for kids.

Phoenix
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That poor teacher! She definitely deserved more support from her peers.

HTakeover
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, that's how it works teaching EFL in Japan (and many other countries). The school is very much a culture of "don't make waves" between the staff while also being harsh (by our standard) on student punishment. It's officially a no-no but usually a blind eye is turned except when they want to use it as an excuse to axe a teacher. An EFL teacher over there, most especially a foreign teacher, rarely gets any support at all from other staff except from ones befriended, and even then it's carefully measured so as to not makes waves for themselves or challenge the status quo.

Load More Replies...
Jared Robinson
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are not the a*****e. This is a great way to deal with bullies.

Nigel Sulley
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once they said, "you are on your own", they lost any moral high ground to chastise you about it... NTA

Daria
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teachers are saints. I don't think I've ever had so much love and patience for people other than my family and friends.

Hphizzle
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They handled it well. I’m upset at the supervisors. I’m guessing this is a cram school/after school care program (since they are alone with the students), whose only focus is money. If they were in a school situation, it would be on the Japanese teacher to try and correct the behavior. NTA I managed to make a cocky kid cry from frustration, and now they are one of my better students and we get along well.

BrownTabby
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not necessarily! As an ex-JET (government program for assistant English teachers in schools, for those who don’t know), it varies so much that we shortened “every situation is different” to “ESID” and EVERYONE on the program knew what it meant. Some assistants were given full responsibility. Some were just expected to plan activities. Some were just expected to read out of the textbook. Some were just left sitting in the staffroom. (Also I totally flouted the no-Japanese rule and my colleagues were just like “ohthankgod”.) So it’s totally possible that OP does teach at a school. But either way, 100% the supervisor is being a dîck.

Load More Replies...
VioletHunter
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm laughing so hard at the comment of the person who thinks this boy would have understood the English phrase "your behaviour is appallingly rude".

The Original Bruno
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How not to do it: My wife tells me of her colleague who was called a "m**********r" by one one his kids. He answered back, "that's between your mother and I!"

Sara Wilson
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, staff won't help, teacher finds a non violent, non verbal abusive way to deal with student, and gets in trouble? They think they r in the US? THIS is why teachers quit! The ones in the US, at least, that r willing to put up with the horrible pay! NTA!

Uncle Schmickle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you ! It was a brilliant strategy. The kid only cried because he was frustrated that his attacks on you failed and the other kids were laughing at him. Hopefully he learned his lesson.

Diane Lim
Community Member
12 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You should be fine though. If the parents ask why he's crying, he'll have to explain that the teacher "scolded" him. Then when they go to you, you can say that Sam had been "complimenting" you in class. For points, you can even add the things Sam said slowly as if you really don't understand. This way, he will be disciplined.

Shark Lady
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've known several people who have taught English abroad from the age of 18. One taught in China on her gap year, came home to do her degree and then returned to China. The other one I knew taught in Japan at the same age and after his degree went straight back to Japan.

VioletHunter
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's appallingly easy for native English speakers to get jobs as English teachers in non-English speaking countries.

Load More Replies...
Danish Susanne
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I loved reading this, and will definitely remember to use the same tactics if I run into any such student.

Marie BellaDonna
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA at all! She "killed him with kindness", lol!! I did this once myself, with my ex-best friend's bully. They had gone to grade school together, and she started her freshman year at the same high as us, when we were sophomores. She started her same old shít with my ebf, and I, being protective of her at the time, decided that wasn't going to fly. Any time she came around ebf when ebf and I were together (and we almost always were), I would light up with a huge smile, and before she could say a word, I'd start excitedly talking a mile a minute, as if SHE were my best friend: "Best friend!! OMG hi best friend!! It's so good to see you!! What are we gonna do after school today best friend?? Do you wanna go to McDonald's?? Or, oh oh, I know, we could hang out at the park!! You're such an awesome best friend!! I love hanging out with you!! Do you want to do our homework together, best friend??" Bully got so fed up with it that one day she actually screamed in frustration, LOL! /1

Marie BellaDonna
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But there was nothing she could do about it, because I was only saying nice things. After a little while of that, she stayed far away and left us both alone, because it got on her nerves so bad. And because she left us alone, she stopped bullying my ex bestie, too, in the bargain. My real (ex) bestie thought it was hilarious, and was grateful to me for putting an end to the bullying. So that felt good. And when I proudly told my mom how I'd "killed [a bully] with kindness", just as she'd always taught me, she said, "Well, that's not exactly what I meant. But I guess it worked." And we both laughed. I'm no longer on speaking terms with my ex best friend, for several reasons. But I'm still glad I did that for her. I'm still proud of myself. And to this day, I still grin when I think about it. 😁😂 /2/End

Load More Replies...
Jude Laskowski
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this had happened when I was in school, the kid would have been thrown out of school. Where the heck are his parents? Why was this incredibly bad behavior tolerated for even a minute? No teacher should have to put up with this.

Karen Startz Richardson
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any kid causing this much disruption in class, (despite ongoing efforts to get him to assimilate & behave) needs a psycho-social evaluation. Read the news..turn on the TV...this kid will be in the news one day-- & it won't be for anything wonderful or amazing. Huge red flags are being ignored by this school & likely, parents/ guardians. I said what I said. ( Career psych nurse who has worked years in prisons and jails, as well)

VioletHunter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a single "effort" is mentioned in this article. You are exaggerating. Kids act out sometimes. Also, I'm sure Japan, like most countries doesn't splatter everyday crime in their news like the US does.

Load More Replies...
BarkingSpider
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've made kids cry. Not my proudest moments, but sometimes they need to understand other people's feelings by having feelings of their own. I wonder if his behavior is due to struggling in the class. His parents should have been contacted before it got to this point.

Daria
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actions have consequences. It's the lesson ALL people (especially children) should learn as early as possible. Kids may cry for all kinds of reasons, but this one was actually beneficial.

Load More Replies...
Marno C.
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He didn't cry because she was mean to him. His crying was a natural consequence because he felt frustrated over his bad efforts being thwarted. He essentially made himself cry because his target didn't react as he wanted. Natural consequences are a great teaching tool for kids.

Phoenix
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That poor teacher! She definitely deserved more support from her peers.

HTakeover
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, that's how it works teaching EFL in Japan (and many other countries). The school is very much a culture of "don't make waves" between the staff while also being harsh (by our standard) on student punishment. It's officially a no-no but usually a blind eye is turned except when they want to use it as an excuse to axe a teacher. An EFL teacher over there, most especially a foreign teacher, rarely gets any support at all from other staff except from ones befriended, and even then it's carefully measured so as to not makes waves for themselves or challenge the status quo.

Load More Replies...
Jared Robinson
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are not the a*****e. This is a great way to deal with bullies.

Nigel Sulley
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once they said, "you are on your own", they lost any moral high ground to chastise you about it... NTA

Daria
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teachers are saints. I don't think I've ever had so much love and patience for people other than my family and friends.

Hphizzle
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They handled it well. I’m upset at the supervisors. I’m guessing this is a cram school/after school care program (since they are alone with the students), whose only focus is money. If they were in a school situation, it would be on the Japanese teacher to try and correct the behavior. NTA I managed to make a cocky kid cry from frustration, and now they are one of my better students and we get along well.

BrownTabby
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not necessarily! As an ex-JET (government program for assistant English teachers in schools, for those who don’t know), it varies so much that we shortened “every situation is different” to “ESID” and EVERYONE on the program knew what it meant. Some assistants were given full responsibility. Some were just expected to plan activities. Some were just expected to read out of the textbook. Some were just left sitting in the staffroom. (Also I totally flouted the no-Japanese rule and my colleagues were just like “ohthankgod”.) So it’s totally possible that OP does teach at a school. But either way, 100% the supervisor is being a dîck.

Load More Replies...
VioletHunter
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm laughing so hard at the comment of the person who thinks this boy would have understood the English phrase "your behaviour is appallingly rude".

The Original Bruno
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How not to do it: My wife tells me of her colleague who was called a "m**********r" by one one his kids. He answered back, "that's between your mother and I!"

Sara Wilson
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, staff won't help, teacher finds a non violent, non verbal abusive way to deal with student, and gets in trouble? They think they r in the US? THIS is why teachers quit! The ones in the US, at least, that r willing to put up with the horrible pay! NTA!

Uncle Schmickle
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you ! It was a brilliant strategy. The kid only cried because he was frustrated that his attacks on you failed and the other kids were laughing at him. Hopefully he learned his lesson.

Diane Lim
Community Member
12 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You should be fine though. If the parents ask why he's crying, he'll have to explain that the teacher "scolded" him. Then when they go to you, you can say that Sam had been "complimenting" you in class. For points, you can even add the things Sam said slowly as if you really don't understand. This way, he will be disciplined.

Shark Lady
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've known several people who have taught English abroad from the age of 18. One taught in China on her gap year, came home to do her degree and then returned to China. The other one I knew taught in Japan at the same age and after his degree went straight back to Japan.

VioletHunter
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's appallingly easy for native English speakers to get jobs as English teachers in non-English speaking countries.

Load More Replies...
Danish Susanne
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I loved reading this, and will definitely remember to use the same tactics if I run into any such student.

Marie BellaDonna
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA at all! She "killed him with kindness", lol!! I did this once myself, with my ex-best friend's bully. They had gone to grade school together, and she started her freshman year at the same high as us, when we were sophomores. She started her same old shít with my ebf, and I, being protective of her at the time, decided that wasn't going to fly. Any time she came around ebf when ebf and I were together (and we almost always were), I would light up with a huge smile, and before she could say a word, I'd start excitedly talking a mile a minute, as if SHE were my best friend: "Best friend!! OMG hi best friend!! It's so good to see you!! What are we gonna do after school today best friend?? Do you wanna go to McDonald's?? Or, oh oh, I know, we could hang out at the park!! You're such an awesome best friend!! I love hanging out with you!! Do you want to do our homework together, best friend??" Bully got so fed up with it that one day she actually screamed in frustration, LOL! /1

Marie BellaDonna
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But there was nothing she could do about it, because I was only saying nice things. After a little while of that, she stayed far away and left us both alone, because it got on her nerves so bad. And because she left us alone, she stopped bullying my ex bestie, too, in the bargain. My real (ex) bestie thought it was hilarious, and was grateful to me for putting an end to the bullying. So that felt good. And when I proudly told my mom how I'd "killed [a bully] with kindness", just as she'd always taught me, she said, "Well, that's not exactly what I meant. But I guess it worked." And we both laughed. I'm no longer on speaking terms with my ex best friend, for several reasons. But I'm still glad I did that for her. I'm still proud of myself. And to this day, I still grin when I think about it. 😁😂 /2/End

Load More Replies...
Jude Laskowski
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this had happened when I was in school, the kid would have been thrown out of school. Where the heck are his parents? Why was this incredibly bad behavior tolerated for even a minute? No teacher should have to put up with this.

Karen Startz Richardson
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any kid causing this much disruption in class, (despite ongoing efforts to get him to assimilate & behave) needs a psycho-social evaluation. Read the news..turn on the TV...this kid will be in the news one day-- & it won't be for anything wonderful or amazing. Huge red flags are being ignored by this school & likely, parents/ guardians. I said what I said. ( Career psych nurse who has worked years in prisons and jails, as well)

VioletHunter
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a single "effort" is mentioned in this article. You are exaggerating. Kids act out sometimes. Also, I'm sure Japan, like most countries doesn't splatter everyday crime in their news like the US does.

Load More Replies...
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