If once artists were a group of people shrouded in mystery on their summit of wit, exclusiveness, and importance, then as of recently, the tables have drastically turned. Now, it’s the chic IT guys and gals that have taken the position of mystique, and not without reason. See, our lives are undeniably turning tech, and, first of all, we need someone to make it all techy. Secondly - without the IT professionals to explain stuff, the codes and such are just a bunch of meaningless numbers taking us nowhere, leaving us stumped. Yet, as discussed a couple of times before, those in the unknown tend to make fun of the things they do not comprehend, to make them look less ethereal and more earthly. Exactly because of that, there are plenty of IT jokes trying to explain the purpose and the magic of IT to those dimwitted on the subject while making the professionals look down on us with a sparkle of amusement in their glimmering wise eyes.
Sure, as with anything that’s made out of cogs and gears, even if imaginable, IT things are bound to break, and it is even folklore of a kind mentioning crashing websites, apps, and the disasters that are printer machines. Yes, we’re adding printers to our IT category since someone still had to program them. Of course, the bigger the failure, the more funny IT jokes you can milk out of the situation. So, there you have it; everything in life can be funny, it’s only a matter of an unexpected failure, a misunderstanding, or a case of complete ignorance.
Without ruminating on our thoughts about the importance of technology and where the roots of fun are, let’s just scroll down below to the best jokes we could find, shall we? Once you’re finished reading them, give them an evaluation on a decimal scale and share these silly jokes with your friends and your foes.
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We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain about life today?
One answer: “I possess a device in my pocket that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers.”
What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
"I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."
In my job i have to send out information to students that's not exactly technical, but makes you pay attention to get it properly. It's super obvious that most students glance at it and move on, and i blame all the T&Cs that we all ignore for it. Sometimes you actually have to read all the words or bad things will happen, folks.
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a nearby dog barked and ran away. Now I am still looking for the dog to unlock my phone.
I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The Titanic is syncing.”
"Yesterday I decided to change my WiFi name to "Hack me if you can" and when I woke up this morning I saw the name changed to "Challenge accepted" somebody help."
Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google Search.
Password looks at itself in the mirror:
"Don't listen to Google. You are a strong, confident password."
And then you see those one time auto generated passwords with 30 assorted symbols, letters, and numbers, and realize that for all your strength and confidence, you cannot win against such power.
Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888. So when someone asks for it, tell them it's 12345678.
There's one 2, three 4s, five 6s, and seven 8s: 12345678 = 2444666668888888
Load More Replies...Place I worked had it set to all the numbers from 1 to 20. Anytime someone had trouble with it, it was always because the missed the 0 in 10
Or, and this is the I.T person in me speaking here, when someone asks you for your password, don't give it to them.
"Happy 3 week anniversary to the 26 browser tabs I have open."
Only three weeks? I believe I have at least five that are a year old. 30 tabs right now
"I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two police officers and a psychiatrist."
More people need to remember that anything known by more than one person is NOT a secret.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.
"I tried to explain to a client why I couldn’t help him with a project that was written in a program code that I didn’t know. “Let’s say you’re asking me to write something in a specific language. Now, I’m fluent in English and Spanish, but your project is in Chinese. Since I don’t understand Chinese, I’m not your best option. You need someone who is fluent in this specific language. See?” He said he did and thanked me. The next morning, I got a call from another developer asking, “Why is your client asking us if we’re fluent in Chinese?”
Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer.
It’s been attributed to all sorts of people: Benjamin Franklin, Mark Twain, Confucius, an old Chinese proverb, and most famously Albert Einstein, but there is little to no proof that any of them ever said such a thing.
Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?!
The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.
"My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat."
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer... Oh wait, he does.
Would it be cruel to make someone's wallpaper a screenshot of the Blue Screen of Death?
I told the kids I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. So they unplugged my computer and threw out my wine.
The guy who invented predictive text died last night. His funfair is next monkey.
"I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back. We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
"A friend of ours was puzzled with the odd messages left on his answering machine. Day after day friends and family would talk and then say, "Beep." He discovered the reason for the joke when he decided to listen to his greeting. "Hi," it said. "I'm not in right now, so please leave a beep after the message."
I tried to say, "I'm a functional adult," but my phone changed it to "fictional adult," and I feel like that's more accurate.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to 'unstable'.
Can I add - change your profile pic to an identical one on a daily basis, to elicit comments of you look fantastic Babe }:‑)
"I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my nine-year-old asked, “How did you text on it?” My 15-year-old daughter roared with laughter, until a thought occurred to her: “Wait, where did you store your contacts?”
Can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's an escape. I don't even have a home anymore. Think it's time for a new keyboard.
"I’m at the library, and for some reason, when I plug my flash drive into the computer, it doesn’t show up. I keep trying, but nothing happens. As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. So I spend 15 minutes changing settings and inserting and removing the flash drive. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, “You’re plugging into my computer, not yours.”
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because it is a hardware problem.
We'll we'll we'll... If it isn't autocorrect.
How many types of people are there in the world?
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who do not.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
MAKING IT SEEM LIKE YOU'RE MAD AT EVERYTHING SINCE THE FIRST ONLINE ARGUMENT OVER TOAST AND LEATHER SHOES. Seriously though, we need to learn that sometimes we can convey our anger with well placed punctuation and being particular with our wording, not by keeping caps lock on 24/7.
Any room is a panic room if you've lost your phone in it.
Person 1: Do you know how to use Outlook?
Person 2: As a matter of fact, I Excel at it.
Person 1: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Person 2: Word.
I'm changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook. Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits."
Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.
The only people who don’t click Skip on ads before YouTube videos are people who died during that ad.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
"My husband and I are both in an Internet business, but he's the one who truly lives, eats and breathes computers. I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching his back one day. "No, not there," he directed. "Scroll down."
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone.
"If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2." - Recording on an Australian tax help line.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies.
It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
20 minutes... Ever tried to watch Netflix after dinner, while lying on the couch?
Mom: How make chicken.
Daughter: What?
Mom: Where buy chicken.
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.
Mom: Avocado.
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
What made the Java developers wear glasses?
They can't C.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
I think this is one of my favorites: "A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone."
Another old one: 'How many Microsfot peeps does it tak to change a lightbulb?' 'None. Darkness becomes the industrial standard'
As somebody from IT I can just say, those "jokes" are old. lame and not funny :-/
To be fair though, some of them really couldn't be considered jokes.
Load More Replies...I think this is one of my favorites: "A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone."
Another old one: 'How many Microsfot peeps does it tak to change a lightbulb?' 'None. Darkness becomes the industrial standard'
As somebody from IT I can just say, those "jokes" are old. lame and not funny :-/
To be fair though, some of them really couldn't be considered jokes.
Load More Replies...