I really hate it when people get accused of bullying because they wisely chose to shun an actual bully. It's just gaslighting BS cowards use to deflect blame away from themselves and their own bad behaviour.

It's like those people who get all riled up at couples that want a child-free wedding. Are you paying for the wedding ? No ? Then STFU !!!!!!!!!

Wow, people think the bully should be invited because she's the one with the hurt feelings now? She's apparently being "bullied" for not being invited to a birthday party I'm sure the birthday girl wouldn't want her at? Actions have consequences, y'all. We can't just pretend that we aren't hurt only to keep other people's feelings safe. This a good lesson for a seven year old.

I had a similar thing when my daughter was 7 y.o. There was a girl, a real bully, caused a lot of problems to not only my daughter but many others. Constant meetings with the school etc. When it came to a birthday party itwas really tricky. I knew the bullying child was having problems at home which lead me to a real problem of conscience.. leave the one child out to be further alienated or invite her. I chose to invite her. As this was my childs party, I could keep an eye on events. The bullying child did act up. I took her aside and said that this behaviour was not accepted in my house. After that she woud not leave my side. She asked when she could join in, how the games were played, when was her turn etc. ALL the children had fun playing together. When it was time to leave she didn't want to go home and hid. It was sad. I often think of her, even now. The school bullying continued but not with my daughter. I saw the 'child' in the bully that day and the fun she had with the others.

NTA> Having never had a birthday party I wouldn't know about any 'rules'. However, the way the bully childs mother is saying how her own child is being bullied by not inviting her seems typical of a lot of modern parenting these days. From the way the bully child parent is acting it seems obvious that is where the child is learning the bullying from by using any 'tool' available to bully others.

I would have said if you taught your kid how to be decent to others then she wouldn't be excluded from events and not to be surprised if this happens more often to her for her behavior and then offer the mom a book on parenting since she doesn't know how and hang up

I don't understand this?? I'm teaching my daughter to be a bully? This has got to be made-up...

This wasn't an accusation. This is a consequence to her bullying. Yes, it's sad but kids must learn and life is an excellent teacher when parents are not doing anything accidentally or on purpose. Really this is the best time to learn. The bigger problem is the parent being angry about this,as if she's a victim. Monkey see monkey do. Trying to force a child onto another child's space on their birthday is abusive. Get counseling and learn how to teach morals. The bully has time and youth to change and even make friends with kids that feared her. Children are smarter than you think , they just need the right direction. Most of them anyhow. But in all fairness, this whole scenario is fair. Consequences do not scar , not protecting your child in your own home on their own birthday, will. And it is up to the parent of the bully to help her child evolve into a healthy human being, not for other parents to cater too.

If bully came the party would be about the bully. When will she bully? What would she destroy or say to get attention? Every kid would be on edge around that girl. Personally I wouldn't want my bully at my party just to appease a parent that apparently hasn't taught her child to behave. Even at school that kid is acting up. To get attention. So good for mom standing her ground.

About learning a lesson: Look at grown up who see their freedom of speech violated just because someone else has the same freedom, but a different view. Very one sided, and not really understanding the concept of said freedom to the slightest. It usually is not about bullying, but about their precious little angle, unable to do any wrong, not being treated like the Prince or Princess they are, which is a major catastrophe of biblical amount and importance. In that age, you gotta get through to the parents, or no one will get through to the child ... and, this hasn't come to being by nothing.

It's your kid's party. Why ruin it by stressing her out and making her uncomfortable by allowing her tormentor to come to the party? NTA.

I get all the NTA, but can we remember that the kid is 7 years old. This could have been an opportunity to turn things around. Maybe amends should have been initiated by the mom beforehand, but that's not the kid's fault. Don't punish the kid because at 7 years old, it's the mom that's the problem and the mom that didn't make it right. Being the only person left out of a class of 20 people is a huge deal for a young child. Invite the kid but bar the parent. The kid didn't come out of the womb a bully and maybe a little unexpected and perhaps undeserved kindness could help the situation. I can't imagine leaving this kid out made the bullying any better going forward. Maybe I am in the minority by trying to look at it this way, but I don't think we can forget that these are 7 year olds.

I think this should have been turned into a teaching opportunity instead of let's isolate one child because she was raised poorly.

You absolutely don't have to invite the bully to your child's party but does anyone else have problems with a 7 year old having a reputation for throwing over the top parties and that the mom had to mention their "wealth"?

Alternate title: 7 yo gets karma for bullying, her mother piles on with her whining in addition to the entitled daughter.

I wouldnt want my nemesis at my birthday party either. I would just *forget* to invite them. I think Mom did the right thing. If the bully is upset, tough, thems the breaks kid. Maybe now she'll learn her actions DO have consequences and stop the bullying, maybe not. Depends how set in her ways she already is.

The mom is the a*****e and just lost the high ground with the school. Most schools have policies that either less than half of a class can be invited or the entire class must be included. The other mom also offered to have the kid apologize and make up for her actions, the goal the school was trying to achieve. Which was rebuffed and then punished. The school will no longer take the LW's side and will view this as a mutual situation where both are bullying each other.

Why would anyone invite someone into THEIR home so that they might treat them like garbityage? You might bully me in school, but I'll be damned if I allow it in my own home. Mom is upset because her daughter was called out. Oh well. It's called karma. She's crying now, but how many times has the Bday girl come home from school crying? And the comment about a 7 year old having an over the top party.....do you live under a rock? Have you never seen how the Kardashians or Beyonce or Cardi or any of those moms throw parties for their kids? This mom's party was nothing compared to theirs.

NTA, though, why doesn't one invite only close friends, surely this child isn't close with the entire class.

This Zara Kadir person sounds like she's advocating rewarding the aggressor and punishing the victim.

To me it's weird to invite an entire class of kids. (And who wants to shepard 20 kids from the class, plus the kid's home friends, plus possibly siblings and cousins? Who would do that to themselves?) I would expect the kid to invite her literal friends. Nobody has 20 friends. Her friends from the neighborhood and friends from the classroom, plus a couple of extras, plus cousins - maybe 10 kids at most.

absolutely unrelated but why would you call your child payton

NTA, but hearing "over the top" parties has me intrigued and I'd like to be invited just to see how it's goes. Maybe it's time to buy Payton some candy or be her cheerleader at her cheerleading sessions for a bit XP *joking except for the candy and cheerleading part*

First world problems.

a class of 20 kids? to me that sounds really small, if I understand what the parent means. It could be a class, like who the teacher teaches, or a class, as in how many students are in the grade. English is weird. Anyways, this sounds pretty fake ngl. Bullying like this definitely happens, but it just gives off a vibe.. idk. If it's real, poor kid for having a bully, and the bully needs to learn how she was wrong

Mom is a bully sounds like

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She is the arsehole. A grown adult ostracizing a seven year old from her entire class. It would of been a great way to show kindness and teach the whole group a valuable lesson. She has in turn bullied a child because 'principles'. Its not kids that are the problem. Its always the entitled adults.