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An introvert knows how horrible social exhaustion is when you want to disconnect from the world and not talk with anyone. It’s normal to get tired of people when the conversation continues for a long time. Who wants to talk all day, every day? Nobody wants to have their social battery drained on small talk. While an extrovert might not mind it, introverted people are a bit different socially.
An introvert knows how to be social — it's just a bit exhausting. An introvert will always have something interesting to say, but not the enthusiasm to do so freely. It's always interesting to converse with a social introvert, due to their mysterious aura. However, certain things can create a sort of introvert hangover — the feeling of exhaustion that can only come from awkward social events and interactions.
For an extrovert, it might be hard to understand why introverts get annoyed a lot quicker than them. Luckily, user noyanem raised an interesting question on AskReddit — “Introverts of Reddit, what social interaction makes your “battery” go down to 0% immediately?” Leave an upvote on a situation that you’ve encountered yourself. On the other hand, if you are an introvert yourself, share your most uncomfortable interactions in the comments below.
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#1
"Ice breaker activities. The level of hate I have for icebreaker activities can not be measured."
RELATED:
#2
"Someone commenting on how much you talk.
Either, 'Wow, talkative today', or 'X is quiet.'
It's like, 'I was comfortable until you had to start treating me like you were tourists at a zoo exhibit.'"
#3
"Let's go around the room and everyone say a little something about themselves!"
goldbricker83 wrote: "Now everyone get into groups of two! Looks around the room, everyone has somehow already partnered up in 10 milliseconds flat."
KING_DARKLIME replied: "I hate those... I just end up not grouping up with anyone, trying to go unnoticed by the teacher. But then she/he notice me and forces me into a group of people who were having fun and it makes me feel like the biggest a-hole just because I didn't have any friends."
Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
I find that the only way I can deal with these is to be told about them in advance, and have some time to prepare an answer (often a joke if I think I can get away with it). Having them sprung one me immediately causes the "Raise shields!" command.
#4
"Anything after work. Work is draining enough."
noyanem replied: "I don’t understand how people make plans after work/school. I run home to eat and sleep."
Michael Travis Risner 1 year ago
There was a meme or a comment here a while ago that went something like, "why would I ever get married? Imagine coming home after a long day of work to someone who wants to TALK TO YOU??"
#5
"Mandatory team building exercises at work. I have nothing against my co-workers, they are nice people and I like them enough to make chit-chat with them, I do not like them enough to do some stupid team-building activity that just wastes time and is nowhere near as fun as the organizer wants it to be."
#6
"Little children interacting with me. 'Look, I have a toy horse.' 'Yes, I see.' And then we both feel awkward."
#7
"Having to engage in small talk really wears me down. Like two sentences in and I’m exhausted. I love deep conversations but small talk just kills my soul."
BlandThings replied: "Especially when it is an extrovert that can't stand silence. Car rides with them are so draining because you are essentially trapped, and since they can't have silence it is a constant conversation. Dude... if you drain all my energy, we are going to crash."
A girl 1 year ago
My brother. He'd lived in Denver for several years and then his work dried up. He didn't drive so I volunteered to fly in, rent a U-Haul and drive him back to Minneapolis. He talked for 10 of the 11 hours of the trip. By the last hour, he'd lost his voice. Which was a godsend.
#8
"When you're at a party where everyone else knows each other."
user replied: "I hate going to parties where I know one maybe two people, you want to interact with them, but don’t want to follow them around like a little puppy dog because I don’t want to talk to anyone else."
Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago
Speaking of puppy dogs, if I went to a party with a friend where I didn’t know anyone, nd my “friend” pretty much abandoned me to do their social butterfly routine, I was always relieved when the host had a dog I could spend the evening with, or an unoccupied porch or someplace I could escape to—-maybe even with the dog.
#9
"Grocery delivery has changed my life."
5hep06 replied: "Yes, I have not been inside a grocery store in almost two years and I am a changed person because of it! I couldn’t take the lines, the people, shopping carts. Turns out public places were not for me."
#10
"Going to any store when it’s packed."
Luna_Deafenhine replied: "If I see a store or restaurant that is too crowded I just leave immediately. I just refuse to deal with that."
visacrum 1 year ago
I power through it. Doesn't matter if it's packed or not, there will ALWAYS be someone whose cart is parked on one side of the aisle, standing on the OTHER side of the aisle perusing something a shelf beyond the thing I already know I want. Especially after reading about peoples' philosophies on the shelf and aisle blocking side of things, I just turn around and get something else and come back later rather than deal with the 'I was here first' attitude I might get if I try out a polite 'Excuse me'. If I'm feeling PARTICULARLY passive aggressive, I kind of just stand there with my cart til I get noticed and apologized to (85% success rate). Of course I have to smile and say 'not a problem' like I wasn't there but 20 minutes, but *I WON* darn it!!
#11
"If I have to dominate my way into a conversation by speaking over you until you stop talking then I've got better things to do."
Alison Hell 1 year ago
My mind starts to wonder if someone is talking too much...its not necessarily a good thing as folks tend to notice...uh, sorry, what?
#12
"My children's friends' parties. Forced interaction with all my kid's friends' parents drains me."
StrangeOne 1 year ago
When I had my daughter's birthday party at a bowling alley with about 6 other kids, I wished the parents stayed. I mentioned on the invites that parents are welcome to stay. They just dropped off their kids and quickly left without introducing themselves or giving me any info on how to contact them. It was so hard to keep them reined in. Almost broke the glass to a trophy case, tossing the balls too much, running around. It's not like they were that young. 11 or 12th birthday.
#13
"Why are you shy? Why don't you talk?"
OnemoreSavBlanc replied: "You don’t say much do you?" Are you not happy today?"
Michael Travis Risner 1 year ago
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt--Abraham Lincoln
#14
"Hey, let’s get a drink, you and me."
"Sure."
At the pub:
"Oh, when I said, 'Just you and me, I actually meant you, me, and my friend from uni that you don't know, but with whom I go way back and will talk to all night while ignoring you."
Alison Hell 1 year ago
I dont drink alcohol and I've noticed over the years that people that do drink, tend to make friends better with another drinker as they are feeling the alcohol, laughing, being silly.. but the non-drinker isn't getting so goofy and spilling their lives so its harder to fit in. I'm glad my besties arent like that though..we can spill our guts and be goofy over a cup of coffee...but for me it's who I feel comfortable with.
#15
"Large parties or anywhere with booming music and drunk people."
user replied: "Yes. I can handle groups just fine, but all this loud music and the shouting gets me in 10 minutes."
Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago
Gives me a f*****g thumping headache, even worse if people are also smoking. I always leave parties like that early. I can’t wait to go home to take a shower and wash my hair, because I can’t stand smelling like the bottom of a dirty ashtray.
#16
"An overly happy person. To the point where you think they are either faking it or wonder if they are actually that happy."
user replied: "For me, it's the energy. It's hard to be around somebody that is really high-energy."
Disinforminationalisticalities 1 year ago
A trainer at work teaching all of us a new system of operation. We all hated the system, we were all grumpy. The trainer was oblivious, always trying to high five, acting so excited over the stupidest things...like, learn how to read a room.
#17
"Definitely when you can’t get your words into a conversation. You make an honest effort to be more outward but people talk over you and you just give up."
-Firestar- replied: "Especially when you actually have something to contribute in that 30-minute conversation that has gone by but everyone won't shut up so you wait patiently for your turn but you sit, inwardly crying because they've changed topics twice now and there's no way to go back and say your piece that might've actually made you interesting."
visacrum 1 year ago
This only works in virtual at work, but my team is a bunch of yappers and interrupters. I usually give up and just type my contribution in the chat. It's proven effective, people are like 'oh, visa said xxx' and either it gets blown off (fair enough), or we then get to discuss that instead of getting sidetracked.
#18
"Work. Customer service has made my skin crawl since day 1, but it pays the bills."
noyanem replied: "That’s awful. Do you have to deal with phone calls? My social anxiety doesn’t let me pick up phones with unknown numbers."
MaritereSquishy wrote: "I had the same problem until... What if it's someone you know who's lost their phone, and your number is the only one they remember? My friend had her handbag stolen while shopping, got security who let her use the office to call someone to pick her up, her dad was the only number she knew by heart. He didn't pick up because he didn't recognize the number. She was a tad upset."
visacrum 1 year ago
I don't know that this is an introvert thing. This may be an empathy thing (social anxiety notwithstanding, different thing). I hate talking on the phone to my friends (just text me for crying out loud), but I will move heaven and earth (inasmuch as my meager responsibilities allow) to make sure your problem is at least reasonably fixed to the satisfaction of both parties. I'm not talking about extremes, there are customers who will never be made content, there are CS reps who hate their day/ life/ job who won't lift a finger to help. I always worked to bring things neutral if they started negative, then work up, or keep things positive if they began there. But if you're a friend, just text me.
#19
"One on one interaction where I’m sort of in charge. Anytime I’m leading around a new hire or intern at work and need to take them around all day, take them to lunch, etc. Exhausting. Being on point and being responsible for another person’s experience of their day is just so much pressure."
visacrum 1 year ago
I guess this whole gamut has made me do some soul searching. When I train people, I'm so comfy comfortable. If I'm training a group, I'm pretty comfortable. If I'm training a LARGE group, I go into 'vert chameleon mode and go over the top. Point is, one on one, I actually foster results in others. Which is probably why I always get saddled with training (which again, I don't mind).
#20
"Going to Walmart. Specifically Walmart and only Walmart. That place drains my soul. I can go in happy, energetic, and social and leave wanting to slit my wrists in the parking lot while yelling at whoever was unlucky enough to come with me."
Heterophylla replied: "There is this horrible frantic energy at Walmart that puts me on total alert."
#21
"Being forced to stay."
TypeOneAuthor replied: "This. Especially when you’re beyond ready to leave and you’re ride isn’t..."
#22
"Unexpected people at a gathering or many people coming and going.
My in-laws seem to always have lots of random people living with them, and you truly never know who’s going to be at their house until you walk in the door. I can’t prepare myself if I don’t know how many/which people I can expect to see.
My MIL also tends to bring random people with her when invited over. 'Well they were at the house when we left and they wanted to come too.' I hate having unexpected strangers in my house, it instantly takes away the feeling of it being my safe zone.
Probably not surprising that I don’t invite my in-laws over very often, and it’s extremely rare that I go to their house."
#23
"Job interviews, especially when they are longer than 30 minutes."
NatalieGreenleaf replied: "I had one that was a good hour long and I went and sat in my car after for like 20 mins before I could drive."
S McKenna 1 year ago
This always really annoys me, as I find it very unreasonable for interviews to be longer than half an hour, particularly as long as an hour or more. I've been stuck in places for 1 hour and a half, granted that whole time wasnt spent doing the interview as I was also made to fill out forms, but one of these times was horrible for me as not only was the interviewer really cold, unfriendly and unpleasant, making me at my most vulnerable with my social anxiety, frowning at me the whole time, but she was also incredibly unreasonable with the questions she asked, having asked about 30 of them and they were all really stupid questions like "Name a time when you inspired someone to follow a career path" Like....?!? I was only 21 at the time too. Interview questions are beyond unreasonable these days I find, asking the most stupidest of questions and being really unfair to people with social anxiety and introverts, yet another example of extroversion/confidence being a social norm!
#24
"Being in a social situation where a card game or board game is being played, and everyone insisting that I play too and they will teach me how to play and it's fun! WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO PLAY??? Because I f*cking hate games and I'm terrible at learning them and people who like games never accurately estimate the amount of effort needed to become proficient enough to enjoy it."
#25
"Family gatherings."
user replied: " I'm currently on vacation, my grandma is having a birthday get-together this evening with about 16 other family members I don't really know and only briefly talk to every 3-4 years. I've already spent the last hour in my room and I'll probably be spending more time in here when people start arriving."
noyanem wrote: "I feel you. The worst is when your extroverted loud aunt can’t leave you alone."
#26
"Arguments can drain me from 100% to 0 real fast. Confrontation in general I would say is my archnemesis. It's even worse when is a pointless one."
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
I don't mind as long as it's a civilised debate not shouting
#27
"Going to places and then more people being there than I expected. Just a couple of days ago I had plans for me and 2 friends to just chill at my house, and somehow I got roped into going somewhere else with 5 or 6 people. I spent most of the time hanging back on my phone."
#28
"When my social battery is running low so I try to leave in order to recharge and get some room to breathe but then people insist that I stay or make a comment about how I am such an introvert because I’m always leaving for my room.
Instantly kills whatever intention I had of coming back. It’s irritating being called out like that."
Alison Hell 1 year ago
You need to be stealthy and just slip out unnoticed. Works like a charm.
#29
"Hair salon. I have long hair so I’m there from 1-3 hours depending on the service I’m having done. I force myself to talk to my hair stylist so he/she doesn’t get bored."
#30
"Hearing a question that has been asked multiple times. For the first few times you hear it, you explain to them so they won't ask again. If you won't remember don't ask every single time you see me. Why are you stealing my time."
#31
"Big one for me is when the plans for the night are over and they just want to wander around to find something to do. Plans are done? I'm out."
#32
"When you finally get a word in a conversation and someone takes what you said and assigns a completely different meaning to it, then the other people just carry on that tangent without clarification and without asking."
#33
"Dealing with kids, especially my brother's kids. I mean I love them, but damn they're exhausting."
#34
"As a cashier, whenever the transaction is over and they begin telling me their life story. Just GO."
#35
"Running into an old friend you’ve grown distant from. Like, do we acknowledge each other and have a full-on conversation or do we just do the head nod and move on?"
OnemoreSavBlanc replied: "The pretend I didn’t see that person works too. Bonus if they also pretend they haven’t seen you. Everyone wins."
#36
"Listening to someone boast.
Being on the receiving end of an extrovert monologuing, in a social situation where I need to play along / be friendly and engaged for whatever reason."
#37
"Malls. I hate malls."
felipe_the_dog replied: "I'm an introvert that likes malls. I feel like there's a lot of interesting stuff to look at."
visacrum 1 year ago
I hate malls, but for all that is holy and chocolatey in nature, I love food courts. It's like, all the same stress, but if you're LUCKY, you get an awkward table to eat the food you know will be bad but you still love. Not a huge fan of extricating myself, but hey, maybe I'm a masochist as well, because I still do it.
#38
"After having a weekend of two where you didn't get your off days due to some obligation and then just before the next one someone asks you to go out and do something and you feel like a jack*ss because you don't have an excuse better than just not wanting to."
#39
"When people say something snide and I can't for the life of me tell if they were joking/sarcastic or serious."
#40
"First day of a new school."
user replied: "Like your new classmates and you have to stand up and say your name and what superpower you’d have if you could."
#41
"Wife: 'My friend is inviting her husband out to lunch I want you to meet him.'
I called out to work the next day because I didn’t get my alone time that day on my scheduled day off."
#42
"Going along to an event as a +1 and having to make small talk with all my friend’s friends."
timmywampus replied: "Perfect opportunity to step out for a smoke. Sometimes I miss smoking just for the easy escape it provided."
#43
"When I'm at a party with my husband where I don't know anyone, and he has to leave to get beer, go to the bathroom, help someone else, etc."
#44
"Sitting at a long table at an event. I always end up at the end where there are more people I don't know, and it’s too awkward to get up and stand down near the end where I do know people or shout across other people to make conversation."
#46
"People who start conversations with the sole intent of saying what's in their head at the time and nothing else.
Conversations usually imply some level of LISTENING. When someone starts talking to me about some dumb stuff they saw on the news and then tries to get me to agree with them instead of actually talking about it I lose all hope for humanity.
I just end up smiling and nodding waiting for it to be over."
#47
"'Helpful Advice' that is really just a bunch of judgments of your life choices in disguise.
Also, any conversation where someone starts suggesting an essential oil blend will solve all my problems."
#48
"Not being able to drive my own car to an event/gathering. If I don’t have the option to do it I’m pretty much just anxious and quiet on the outside but screaming with burning rage at the driver on the inside. Just hoping they get bored and want to go."
#49
"IKEA, especially with someone who just wants to meander idly around. I don't even know why, but I get about half an hour into an IKEA trip and I get flashes back to a childhood spent largely being dragged by my parents around that blue-and-yellow Swedish hellscape.
IKEA is my personal hell."
#50
"People who try to interact with me every thought I wear headphones if it is not important."
#51
"When any elderly family members ask you what do you in life and you can't figure anything out since your anxiety personified you just make up bulls*it."
#52
"Waitresses flirting for tips."
ObiWanCannoli25 replied: "Definitely the worst is when they play games like betting on riddles or something really forcing the interaction."
Dizavid 1 year ago (edited)
I get some slight schadenfreude when a server does this to me so I finally just smile and let them know I'm extremely gay. They may try to channel it into the gay bestie schtick, but usually it throws them off their entire performance. I mean, I brought a giant Stephen King novel with me, one I've been staring at the whole time, so I obviously WANT to be left alone so I can eat and read. I clearly did away with human interactions a long time ago in general. Read the room, ma'am.
What do you think ?
VodkaInMySweetTea 1 year ago
Emotionally charged interactions. Things at work are extremely tense right now. Everyone is so angry and upset, but we all have to hold it together, be grownups, and still do our jobs. I was only on site for a couple hours yesterday but it was so exhausting I'm still tired 24 hours later.
VodkaInMySweetTea 1 year ago
Emotionally charged interactions. Things at work are extremely tense right now. Everyone is so angry and upset, but we all have to hold it together, be grownups, and still do our jobs. I was only on site for a couple hours yesterday but it was so exhausting I'm still tired 24 hours later.
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