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Almost all kids look at their parents as role models. Growing up, they are our heroes and their opinion and reassurance are the most important things in the world. While getting older, we tend to care what our parents think less and less and we already see them through a different perspective. Now, they are more flawed and maybe not as perfect as they looked in our childhood. Unfortunately, even if we don’t remember much from our childhood, hurtful things that were said by our parents may be engraved in our memories for a while. A passing remark made by our parents may alter how we perceive ourselves or deter us from pursuing our passions. Sadly, most of the hurtful things that we heard in childhood evolve and can have an impact on us for the rest of our lives.
In this online group, members shared their not-so-pleasant memories that they heard from their parents but are still stuck in their head as an adult. Here are 41 of them for you to check out, hopefully none of which you can relate to.
More info: Reddit
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#1
My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbour. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years
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#2
"you can't even laugh right"
My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong
#3
My dad, very recently, told me (33F) that "I don't have a career and that I was only hired as a charity case". The hardest part is that my dad is normally really supportive and kind and this was not said in anger.
I am a project mgr at a real estate development company that my FIL owns. I have a university degree in a related field (landscape architecture and urban planning) & project mgmt experience from a previous job. I never planned on working for my FIL.
I am getting paid about 1/2 of what I could be making if I worked for another company.
I am sticking it out because my husband and his brothers deserve to inherit the company (their dad uses the inheritance as a way to control them and they have put in so, so much free labour despite never being paid by the company & working FT in completely separate careers). I'm worried my FILs semi-recent drinking habit, mixed with his unrelenting narcissism is going to lead to him squandering the business so I'm staying to keep tabs on it.
I know no one is going to read this. It still feels good to get off my chest.
Weasel Wise 1 year ago
Dad and FIL don't deserve you...and if you think the business you're working for (family owned or otherwise) is going under, GET OUT! It isn't your responsibility to keep tabs or help or whatever; you need to take care of your own livelihood first and it's not selfish or wrong to make sure you have a roof over your head and food in your belly.
#4
I asked my parents why they gave my sister a lot of money for college and not me. My dad said, "we never thought you could finish."
I have a doctorate now and no student loans ever.
#5
My mother said lots of things like that. I'll just talk about one of the most memorable.
While I went to go inside the the corner store, she stayed behind in the car. Outside the store was a kid that had a crush on me. He grabbed my a*s and I b***hed him out. My mother saw all this. In the following days and weeks she basically accused me of being a s**t, implying that I somehow invited it. She tried convincing my father of this, told her coworkers about it, everything except being a mom infuriated that someone touched their daughter like that.
N Miller 1 year ago
I'm feeling in a particularly nasty mood reading these, and my immediate reaction to this is that your mum was jealous that you were getting male attention since she's such a turd no man, not even your father, would have given her a second glance. I'm quitting this list now before I say something I regret more
#6
“You’re not skinny.”
My mom when I mentioned wanting to dress as Elle Woods for Halloween when I was 10. Yeah, I was overweight as a kid but that sure as hell didn’t motive me. To this day, whenever I see an outfit I’d love to wear, I hear that line in my head.
Parents, that s**t doesn’t go away over time. Your kids just learn to put it in the backs of their minds but hear you me, they still remember.
Spongebob Sadpants 1 year ago
I got a jump rope when I was little. I'd never played with one and was struggling. My abusive dad watched me for a minute, said I was out of shape and left. I was like 5 years old.
#7
She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner.
The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared their own stories. It's good to know I'm not alone. Also, to the people suggesting I had previous partners I would actually abuse, I can understand the wording could have been better but how dare you.
#8
“You’re so annoying.” Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything.
#9
In 7th grade, I was learning how to write better poetry thanks to an awesome teacher. I was so proud of a collection I made, so I let my mom read it. She asked me, “Do you need to be put in a mental asylum?” I was so upset and as I was growing up, I didn’t share any of my art with people, regardless of the medium. Even now, I still hear how serious she was when she asked me that.
#10
What did I do to deserve a fat kid.
Saturn Smith 1 year ago
This is horrible. People like this should never have kids. Ever. Those poor children shouldn’t have to go through this.
#11
Not me, but a friend after her dad had died. She told her mom that she missed her daddy; I say daddy because she was roughly 8 at the time. "You miss him so much? If you ever say that to me again I swear I'll chain you to his gravestone!"
#12
When I was 14, and struggling with depression. "You're just a psychopath who will die alone cause nobody will ever love you"
#13
There are so many things I really don’t remember most of them…
Once my stepmom called me a lying sneaking little s**t bc she thought I stole her melatonin, when she just used it all and forgot ab it.
But the thing that I think about a lot is my dad once when I was like 10-12. I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember him poking me in the chest with enough force to knock me down, he said “you’re such a piece of s**t, I can’t wait until I get to kick you out” and spat in my face as I was laying on the ground.
That was the man who was supposed to be Superman to me. I was supposed to sit on his shoulders to see a parade or something.
#14
Mom was talking to dad about me while I was right there. I was bullied in high school and it had an effect on my grades. While discussing my education she said:
“Look at him. Can’t you see there’s nothing in there? Just look at how he sits there. He can’t do this. He’s not capable of more. This is it. He’s nothing.”
It gave me a drive and motivation. It also gave me a constant need to prove myself.
EDIT: I never imagined this to get so much replies. For the people wondering: this happened almost 20 years ago and I have now found peace with what she said. My mom has a lot of mental issues but she tries her best. She’s made a lot of progress and is still working on battling her inner demons. And in the end: she has since done a lot more good than bad to me. I will never forget what she said but I no longer hold it against her. People shouldn’t always be reduced to their worst moment.
Sweet Taurus 1 year ago
The edit add made my heart smile for you. I'm glad you've learned to forgive and have empathy rather than apathy.
#15
Why can't you just be normal? I loved art, film, writing & performing. I listened, now I'm 46, stuck in a civil service job that I loathe & unhappy. Wish I hadn't listened.
#16
When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said “If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat”
Never forgot it. Talked to her a about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from “That never happened” to “oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever” and finally “yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that”
Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was “[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.” I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Even if you're a young parent, or had a child at a bad time in your life, this is still a s****y thing to say to your kid. I've told my daughter, as she was older to understand and reason, that I do not regret having her. I just regret the timing, is all, and that I love having her in my life. Wouldn't change anything. Actually, I don't want to go back in time to change a thing. Everything's been done and over with.
#17
I’m a waste of sperm apparently.
Not sure what else they’re doing with their sperm but.. ok.
#18
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Not really an insult but is what I’d hear any time I had a negative emotion. Having emotions was grounds for punishment. Now whenever I’m sad I hear that voice in my head.
#19
My father is very good at maths. Especially at doing it in his head. I always was self-conscious about that. One hike in the mountains he gave me a math problem and I went totally blank, tried to frantically solve it in my head but couldn't. Finally he said "You once were intelligent, that's long gone." starting a monologue about how dumb I am.
I was 13 at the time.
In my end thirties we had a chat about chemistry, which I excelled in at school. That led to other subjects and it turned out, he wasn't really good in any subject we shared, except math. I was in most - except math.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Just a reminder that if this is too much, you can stop reading. I’m checking out now. ❤️
#20
I was probably 14, it was ‘97 or ‘98, and I was walking up the stairs one afternoon. My dad was on the landing, looked at me, paused and said “your forehead. It’s ‘gettin zitty with it.’”
I’ve told him about how it’s something I still think about now that I’m an adult. He has zero recollection of something I remember so vividly.
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
Nikki Sevven 1 year ago
What I heard your dad say was, "I see you have an issue that is normal for your age, but instead of helping you, I'm just going to be a dîck and insult you in a joking manner."
#21
It's taken quite some time to accept that this isn't true but being told I'm selfish and arrogant for speaking about things I might like, or how I'm feeling when I was a young child. Growing up it was more speak of when you were spoken to as you had no real reason to speak otherwise unless you were going to risk being screamed at or physically hurt, and I only ever had sentences based around me saying sorry, thank you and please.
As an adult now, even when someone wants to listen to what I have to say I still occasionally unintentionally cut myself off and stop talking out of fear. And the fact that someone is actually willing to listen to what I have to say - but I'm working through it >:D
Nikki Sevven 1 year ago
Parents really need to understand that their children are going to have opinions that are different from their parents. And they are entirely entitled to those opinions. Your kids are individuals, not your 'mini me'.
#22
I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was "if you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror".
#23
Through an unfortunate event, I contracted herpes right before I went home on Spring Break. I was naïve and had no sex ed so I didn't know what was going on and I was super sick with a 104.5°F fever. I had to tell my parents. My mom called me a whore. Will never forget that. Thanks mom.
Note: they're mormon 🙃
Libstak 1 year ago
Ridiculous a majority of people contracted herpes as children and it can lay dormant and flare up for the first time in teenage years. Typically kids share drinks, are kissed indiscriminately on their faces by family and relatives simply as asexual shows of affection and hang around alot of germs when playing outside in general, picking up discarded objects, touching their faces, sticking their fingers in their mouth....so many things.
#24
My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me
Spongebob Sadpants 1 year ago
My dad was abusive and he would call me by my mom's name because he hated her and me. My mom's dad did it to her as well.
#25
“You will never amount to anything in life”
Heather Resatz 1 year ago
Wow .. just wow. Don't parents understand that it's their job to help their children find their passions and reach their potential???
#26
“Don’t be so sensitive.” Even till now as an adult, and I just suddenly realized why I don’t feel safe being emotionally vulnerable with my parents.
#27
Not really an insult:
My brothers and sister lived out in Utah, we are live outside of Cincinnati. My mom, dad and myself drove to Utah because my sister was getting married.
The first night of being settled in, we went out to dinner with my older brother's fiance and her family. My oldest brother was there with his wife, and my sister was there with her fiance. Again, we were there for my sister, yet the first night we were there, going to dinner with my older brother and his soon to be wife and in-laws took priority.
We are sitting at this restaurant, and my mom straight up blurted out my older brother is her favorite child. My oldest brother, my sister and I just looked at each other just like slowly nodding going like ... "No s**t, mom. We know. Doesn't make it okay for you to say it out loud, though."
I was 14, so that was about 20 years ago. Still f*****g stings.
Spongebob Sadpants 1 year ago
My dad's favorite was my sister. The schools favorite was my sister. The churches favorite was my sister. My relatives favorite was my sister. Well she turned into a severe drug addiction that had her kids taken away, and she's now using needles. My mom loves me and that's all that matters
#28
My sister won a ton of toddler and baby beauty pageants. My dad for awhile didn’t believe I was his daughter.
He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be his daughter. Well jokes on you dad, we look just alike. My younger sister and I do too lolll,
Killed my self esteem, but I think it’s kinda of funny now.
#29
"Don't be so simple"
"Do you think that looks good?"
"You're a slob"
"You're lazy"
"Stop, you are doing it wrong. Just go away"
"You lack motivation"
"You're wasting your potential"
#30
"You sound like a pig under a gate." I was ~10 and working to expand my vocal range. To this day, I stop singing when others are around.
The one that lives rent free though is, "now, find someone else to take care of you." Thanks for the help, I guess.
What do you think ?
Roddfergg 1 year ago (edited)
It's really bad when you are thinking, "I wish I had it that good."
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NonbinaryIdiot 1 year ago
I was told to just suck it up when I had trouble breathing and had to beg them to let me stay home from school because it hurt to breathe. Turns out I had an asthma attack. When my brother had one he was rushed to the hospital and I was left at home alone. Fun times. They also called me a spoiled brat, a jerk, that I was bogarting all the food, and that I was just s******g on their guidelines.
that weird wallflower is demi 1 year ago
omg I'm so sorry that you had to experience that
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Roddfergg 1 year ago (edited)
It's really bad when you are thinking, "I wish I had it that good."
Load More Replies... NonbinaryIdiot 1 year ago
I was told to just suck it up when I had trouble breathing and had to beg them to let me stay home from school because it hurt to breathe. Turns out I had an asthma attack. When my brother had one he was rushed to the hospital and I was left at home alone. Fun times. They also called me a spoiled brat, a jerk, that I was bogarting all the food, and that I was just s******g on their guidelines.
that weird wallflower is demi 1 year ago
omg I'm so sorry that you had to experience that
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