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50 Innocuous Things About Being A Woman That Had To Be Pointed Out To Men
Interview
It has been said a long time ago, and most people realize, that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. There are plenty of differences, both psychological and physical, between us. In order to understand each other, it's important to have an open conversation about some topics we may not have a clue about. However, these days, when everything is easily accessible and we can get an instant answer to pretty much any question we can possibly think of close at hand, some lack of basic information about the opposite sex may turn out to be ignorance.
We have collected an impressive list of stories shared online by women to shed light on many common experiences shared by women, sometimes on a daily basis, that men often find abstract. Let's spread awareness and gain some common knowledge about 'the female kind'!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Precisely the reason that periods hurt.
The uterus is designed to hold a 6-10 lb baby for 'months'. Not unlike a school backpack carrying 6-10 subject matter books.
Like a backpack, there are 'straps' where you secure the bag - or uterus - to the body holding it. Except that a Uterus has more than two straps. All of the straps are attached physically to all of its surroundings and when the uterus wants to 'shed' it squeezes in on itself to massage loose it's internal lining. But, when the uterus squeezes in, all of those 'straps' are also pulled in / pulled on, pulling other parts of the body nearby in with it. Like if someone grabs your back pack and pulls on it, it yanks back both of your arms. Though, in this case, more than two attachments.
#2
Just because a woman is nice to you, it doesn’t mean she’s flirting with/interested you. Literally the most basic thing humans can do is be kind to others and make them feel interesting, important, good about themselves.. but men commonly take this the wrong way and interpret it as being flirtatious or that it means we’re interested in something more. Like no dude, it’s just basic human decency, calm your tits.
We reached out to Akshara Ashok, the illustrator from India. The artist is the author of the unique series “Happy Fluffy Comics”. In her work, Ashok highlights the common struggles and challenges faced by women in their daily lives. Through her funny comics, the artist aims to break taboos and challenge stereotypes surrounding women and their experiences. To find out more about Akshara, you can click here, here, or here and see Bored Panda posts featuring her work.
We wanted to find out about Akshara’s journey as an illustrator. In order to do that, we asked the artist how she discovered her passion for creating art that focuses on women's experiences. Ashok shared with us: “I have always loved art since childhood. However, I started illustrating on social media in my second year of college. I used my comics as an outlet for my thoughts and I saw that many other women resonated with the messaging. I had so many questions about the way we are treated in society. We, as women, are expected to grow up much faster than men. Even our prepubescent bodies are sexualized in schools as they ask us to cover up because it would ‘affect’ the boys. I found this really unfair and disgusting. Since childhood, we are made to feel a lot of shame and guilt for looking or living a certain way. I wanted to break these taboos and tell women that they can be who they want to be and there’s no shame in that.”
#5
You getting a boner when looking at woman or girl does NOT MEAN SHE IS TRYING TO DO THAT TO YOU. Even if she is dressed up looking nice. . she is probably trying to impress her friends or a very specific boy or man and NOT YOU.
Just because you feel something when looking at a woman does not mean that she is trying to make you feel that way.
So many men just do not get this. They think everything is about them .. everything women do is so deliberate and targeted specifically to them. Oh she wore those short shorts, she knows what she is doing. Especially vomitrocious when it's a very young girl just trying to get some pimply boy in her class to talk to her and a grown man who is a complete stranger takes it as an invitation like "oh yeah she wants to do this to me. . she loves me looking at her like this."
See also: men since the beginning of time demanding that women smile on command because "it looks good to ME" -- they are unable to imagine a woman existing for any other purpose than to be entertaining and attractive to me me me me me who is the center of the universe.
#6
I can’t just buy something in my size and call it good. I have pants that fit me in sizes 12 through 16. I have dresses in M, L, and XL and in sizes 10 through 14. I have tops in S, M, L, and XL. There are some styles that will never fit me without tailoring no matter what the size because of my body shape.
Asked which aspects of women's lives and stories the artist finds most inspiring to illustrate, Akshara answered: “Everything. Starting from something as small as how our clothes fit to the misogyny we face every day. If you look closely, even things that are considered small aren’t really that insignificant, we’re just told to brush them aside. Now I’m focusing more on body positivity and sexuality. We are expected to fit into an unattainable beauty standard which is almost ridiculous and once women try and to do that, they’re still ridiculed for not being natural enough. So there’s really no way to win this. I’d like to remind women to love their bodies a little more every day for the way it looks.”
#8
We can't start or stop our periods at will. You think any of us would start them if we could stop them?!
#9
Being constantly vigilant/ having situational awareness. My partner just goes through life feeling safe and secure. The number of times I've pointed out sketchy s**t to him that was just *not* on his radar has been astonishing. Even just being aware of where others are. I never run into or accidentally block people out in public because I'm aware of where everyone is in relation to me, my partner is just oblivious to his position in relation to others.
Women's experiences can be multifaceted and complex. We were curious how Ashok ensures that her artwork captures the depth and nuances of these experiences. We found out that: “I try to make it really simple. I use simple language and illustrations to capture the eye. On top of that, I use humor that makes you think. Most of my funny comics show that our ‘quirky struggles’ are actually the result of patriarchy and that we don’t need to be perfect all the time. I also try my best to use inclusive language and illustrations to make sure people don’t feel left out or get offended. Most of my comics are lived experiences from my life or what I see around me which makes it much more personal. I’m someone who struggles with mental health issues and self-love. This helps me empathize with others and makes my art easily relatable. This also allows women to come forward to share their experiences without the fear of being judged.”
#10
That they do know people who have had abortions, even if they think they haven't.
#11
That I can’t just “put it in my pocket.”
There’s no pockets. Yeah, I know it looks like a pocket, it’s not.
Ok yes this one DOES have a pocket, that can fit exactly three quarters OR one chapstick, and even those aren’t guaranteed not to fall out if I bend over, switch between standing/sitting, remove/adjust the clothing to use the washroom, or just *walk.*
People who have only ever worn men’s clothing take their pockets for granted. My 2-year-old nephew has onesies with functional pockets, like wtaf?
#12
My husband asked me why I don’t park in the middle of the driveway when he’s out of town, I told him I don’t want anyone to think I’m not always expecting him home.
As an illustrator, Akshara’s work may also be influential in shaping perceptions and attitudes. We wanted to find out what positive changes the artist hopes to inspire through your illustrations of women's stories. The comic artist said: “I don’t want to attack anyone for their perception, it’s just something we’re taught since childhood, that women are inferior and the weaker sex. Instead, I want to help everyone understand how untrue that is and that we can change the way we think. That’s why I use humor and cute little illustrations. It makes the subject simple and friendly instead of being too preachy. It’s hard to break out of these norms created by society overnight because we’re so used to them. All we can do is change one step at a time.”
#14
Pregnancy complications are more common than you realize. That s**t’s hard on your body.
#15
We don’t pee out of our vagina.
TheGreatNyanHobo replied:
Poor health and sex ed makes this a common one. Even some women have been shocked by it.
Lastly, Ashok shared more about the motivation for creating her art: “I want to initiate healthy conversations about our bodies and sexuality which is still looked down upon in 2023. Women are still being called names just for existing. A lot of people push this toxic positivity onto people where one’s expected to be happy and love themselves all the time. But we don’t live in a perfect world and the amount of pressure we face to be perfect is just too much. I understand how hard it can be to love ourselves for the way we look when the media is constantly pushing these beauty standards onto us. Self-love is a very slow process and it’s very hard to attain. I think influencers need to be mindful of that as well as mental health issues. Most of us cannot wake up and choose to be happy. It’s almost a privilege. I want to tell people that we deserve to be happy regardless of the way we look, we are much more than that. We don’t have to be at our best all the time. It’s okay to have bad days. We’re human after all. I know that I can’t change the way the world sees us but I would like to try to change the way we see ourselves.”
#16
Why we need a trashcan next to the toilet. Our condo has a door separating the toilet and shower from the sinks, and he moved the trashcan under the sink, instead of next to the toilet, where it was. Thought it was genius. I had to explain to him why we need to at least have a trashcan right next to the toilet, and why that's important when a woman lives in the house.
#17
That the clothes he thinks are super cute for me are also super super uncomfortable.
#18
We can lose a leg or die if we leave a tampon in too long. It’s called toxic shock syndrome.
#19
Normal, everyday things like using a public restroom, or showering, take us longer and are more difficult due to a complex system of "little things" that just never work out in our favor - that even we don't notice until we're middle-aged.
Public bathroom stalls are so tiny, it's hard for us to move around with our phones or keys in our hands the whole time, or our purses, or children.
(...and why would I be holding my phone in one hand, and my keys in the other hand, the whole time while using the toilet? Because I don't have any pockets! ...and why don't I use a purse? Because they hurt and are uncomfortable and neck straps burn my shoulders, are easy to set down and lose, and I also just don't want to! And it shouldn't matter!)
Showering is ridiculous because we have large shampoo bottles (or whatever hair products) that fall on the ground every time we move...When we wash long hair, it flings around water, and our elbows knock things off of shelves.
...why are there no big ledges in showers? After 100+ years of people using showers, there's still no ledge big enough to hold bottles in most showers?? Beats me!
Why are there no places to sit down in the shower for leg shaving? Why do I have to contort my body like a flamingo with one leg propped up on a faucet or a ledge trying not to slip or drop my razor on the ground and break it...in order to shave my legs?
Why are faucets and shower hardware, doors, glass walls and doors SO difficult to clean...why is it even possible to design a tub so deep, that you HAVE to slide down the ledge to get all the way inside of it just to clean 1 spot on a wall.
Why are sink faucets so close to the the wall that you can't fit a paper towel or a sponge back there to clean?
Why, whenever I talk about these things I get called a "raging feminist" and laughed at.
#20
How our discharge bleaches our underwear. I had partners in the past that got disgusted by it.
#21
That my body isn't a set of buttons to mash in the right order to get the prize. The exact same thing may not turn me on every time, etc.
I have to believe there are men out there that this is also true for, but some guys decode they have figured out the pattern and refuse to vary.
#22
That we use toilet paper every time we go to the bathroom and therefore will go through more than men!
#23
Something that still hasn't settled in his head - the fact that when you give birth you can tear all the way to your a*****e, that you can (pretty commonly) get diastasis recti, or other conditions that can become lifelong.
When I told him these things he said "you love exaggerating these things just to justify that you don't want kids, no woman who's had a kid that I know has said these things"
... Besides his mom or whatever he had never spoken to a pregnant woman/new mom in his life, let alone about their vaginas
#25
As an adult - cervical fluid. The amount of men who have thought vaginas are either dry or WET from being turned on is truly alarming to me. No, I’m just OVULATING.
#26
How viscerally intimidating it is to have any male angry or yelling at you. I could be the strongest woman in the world, and even the most average guy would be able to physically dominate me. So doubly true that I am not very strong.
#27
That I have to have my keys out before I get to my front door so I’m not awkwardly fumbling for them and making myself vulnerable.
#28
That his/my husband's presence will alter the way some people interact with me. Or rather, ignore me altogether.
#29
How little they know about periods. When I had been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months, I apologized for being upset and that it was just because of my period. He then asked, “didn’t you have your period last month?” He thought that women menstruated for an entire month, and then didn’t for the other 11 months of the year. He thought that periods were an annual thing. I was so shocked.
#32
That i could not, in fact, let my ex-boss (who's a man) drive me home.
Context: me and my ex-boss kinda live in the same area and he has a car, i take public transport. More than one time he was offered to drive me home after work. He didn't offer to drive anyone else home. And we end work at 9pm.
Im not F*****g taking that risk
#33
I think this is not exactly a thing only men do but I've encountered a lot of men who really believe the stereotypes/cliches of "how a woman acts or thinks" and that is like a "rule" that cannot change.
They'll say "a woman likes this" or "a woman always does that" and when I tell them is not true, they don't believe me or think I'm "not like the other girls". Then I have to start educating them in that yes, I'm like the other girls because we as humans are really complex and we can all like different things and we do not share a brain.
#34
That (at least for me and my friends) parents treat you different just because you're a woman. Less freedom, less independence, and its really all because of men and the dangers they raise to us. Its f*****g unfair. My boyfriend is always saying "ur parents didnt let you do x alone?" And they treat me totally different from my brother.
#35
Had to explain my bf a few times that if we are wrestling and I say stop and he doesn’t because I say it laughing that it’s a horrible feeling. I learned I was laughing because of nerves or I don’t know why, a reflex. And he learned that if I said stop, even if I laugh, he has to stop bc I’m not joking. If he doesn’t stop, he triggers something bc I’m not as strong as he is and I get scared/cry. Thank god he learned.
#36
The struggle of maintaining work life and the desire to not become pregnant, yet wanting a family but not wanting to sacrifice my career, and the simultaneous need to remain independent of a man.
#37
Periods aren’t actually monthly, as in January, February, March. They can be, but often that’s just coincidence. You can have two periods in one month and you can have no periods in one month.
Also, we don't bleed in a continuous stream all day. Some guys think we just sit there hemorrhaging.
#41
That foreplay has a very real purpose & real sex is nothing like p*rn. The last guy I dated, I tried explaining to him that going straight for the hole is counter-productive to genuinely good sex. One night, I made him slow down, just lay on the couch, cuddling & touching me, not even in a fully sexual way. Afterwards, he said "wow, I had no idea what a difference that makes! It really felt totally different!" I was like "this is what I've been trying to freaking tell you!!!" He admitted that he learned sex from p*rn & no one ever tried to give him any direction before. Wasn't even aware just how many positions you could get yourself into either. He's almost 40. Eta: he also won't leave me alone now even though I broke up with him over a month ago.
#42
I had to explain to my 62 y/o father how women sometimes bleed through their pad/tampon without realizing it and that it is, indeed, a valid excuse to go home and change. That was probably one of our more uncomfortable topics of conversation.
#43
Yes. My breasts hurt for “no good reason”. Yes, my hormone cycles make them painful. Yes most women experience this. …That is reason #1 why it’s okay for my partner to touch my bum without asking permission every time, and permission is required for breast touching.
Also had this conversation “why would you automatically think the sharp pain you’re experiencing while ovulating is an ovarian cyst?” Mmmm… it’s like one of the most common things to go wrong in that area…?
Yeah, education on women’s bodies is so low.
#44
If I’m in a new area, I always look for other women walking or jogging out on the street, especially if they’re alone. This will indicate to me if the area is “safe” or not.
#45
I DON'T wash my hair every day and it takes longer than 5 minutes for it to dry.
#46
He, like many men for some reason, thought that tampon/pad size was related to vaginal size...
#47
A bit ago, my bf asked why I and other women he has known keep the plastic wrapper from pads. I explained to him that it is a courtesy thing, because the wrapper is good for rolling up the used pad. It helps conceal it as well as contain some of the odor. He was surprised, since it made perfect sense but that it never would have occurred to him.
#48
Why my mood change before, during and after my period, why pregnancy affected my moods and thoughts process.
#50
One time a guy asked me why sometimes women paint “just the middle of their nail all sloppy”
I had to explain that we paint the entire fingernail but it chips off, leaving the middle.
What do you think ?
Elizabeth Rolando 1 year ago
I'm so tired of hubby trying to feel me up and telling him no and his response every time....EVERY. TIME. Is Why? Because I don't have to if I don't want to. No is a complete sentence!!! Ugh!
XenoMurph 1 year ago
If it's every time, you need to have a conversation.
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Danger Bunny (She/Her) 1 year ago
The idiots commenting on the bottom of all these listings make me concerned for humanity... Politely fu¢k off, you mudsogging trolls
Stardust she/her 1 year ago
There’s this guy in my class and he still thinks he has a chance of being with me even though we had a huge fight 2 years ago and he tries to “flirt” with me a lot these days
Lama 1 year ago
Hey Stardust, I see you've posted about this a few times now, sounds like it is really bugging you. Do you have someone you can talk about this with? I hope you do, it sounds like his "flirting" might be crossing some boundaries and that is something to take seriously. Good luck <3
Load More Replies...
zovjraar me 1 year ago
i really liked the ones where a dude asked about something. i like it when we're open to learning about each other (not just male/female but in all instances).
Blyss Blyssylb 1 year ago
That EVERYTIME I stand up, sit down, walk by, some male has to touch my a$$! It's MY A$$ you twit! Not yours! If you want to touch a$$, then touch your own! And when we're walking around some public place, DO NOT put your hand down the back of and inside my pants! Makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Blayze Infyrno 1 year ago
Inigo Montoya voice: ‘Innocuous.” You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Florence O'Grady 1 year ago
Hello Lucille 2, I see we have one thing in common. Yes, I am a Christian and found out as a child that Jesus (the) Christ is real and definitely still alive. It may surprise you, but I learned a long time ago not to judge. I was judged as a child for the way an aunt (deceased now) felt about my mother (my father's first wife and also deceased now). It sounds like you may have had better teachers in the sexual education department than I ever did.
Elizabeth Rolando 1 year ago
I'm so tired of hubby trying to feel me up and telling him no and his response every time....EVERY. TIME. Is Why? Because I don't have to if I don't want to. No is a complete sentence!!! Ugh!
XenoMurph 1 year ago
If it's every time, you need to have a conversation.
Load More Replies... Danger Bunny (She/Her) 1 year ago
The idiots commenting on the bottom of all these listings make me concerned for humanity... Politely fu¢k off, you mudsogging trolls
Stardust she/her 1 year ago
There’s this guy in my class and he still thinks he has a chance of being with me even though we had a huge fight 2 years ago and he tries to “flirt” with me a lot these days
Lama 1 year ago
Hey Stardust, I see you've posted about this a few times now, sounds like it is really bugging you. Do you have someone you can talk about this with? I hope you do, it sounds like his "flirting" might be crossing some boundaries and that is something to take seriously. Good luck <3
Load More Replies... zovjraar me 1 year ago
i really liked the ones where a dude asked about something. i like it when we're open to learning about each other (not just male/female but in all instances).
Blyss Blyssylb 1 year ago
That EVERYTIME I stand up, sit down, walk by, some male has to touch my a$$! It's MY A$$ you twit! Not yours! If you want to touch a$$, then touch your own! And when we're walking around some public place, DO NOT put your hand down the back of and inside my pants! Makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Blayze Infyrno 1 year ago
Inigo Montoya voice: ‘Innocuous.” You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Florence O'Grady 1 year ago
Hello Lucille 2, I see we have one thing in common. Yes, I am a Christian and found out as a child that Jesus (the) Christ is real and definitely still alive. It may surprise you, but I learned a long time ago not to judge. I was judged as a child for the way an aunt (deceased now) felt about my mother (my father's first wife and also deceased now). It sounds like you may have had better teachers in the sexual education department than I ever did.
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