My mother had the same rule. If you did not call first before coming over, you were not let in. I thought she was being unreasonable until I moved out with my husband and son. With my husband working and me taking care of an autistic child on my own, there was not a lot of quiet time for me and my husband to have to ourselves or as a couple. So when my brother would drop by with the whole family to visit, I kindly turned him away. He told me he played that game with mom and he wouldn't play it with me. I said "It's not a game, it's called you having respect for my time enough to find out if I am even up to having company. If you don't call, you will not be let in." He called after that.

The foot in the door bit is crazy manipulative. Bear in mind that they hung around after an attempt was made to close the door on them, after finding out that the daughter was not at home, after the police were called, and until the police arrived, and then stood there to argue with the police before being escorted off the property. All of that is awful behavior. At no point does that suggest they're doing any of this out of love or desire for connection.

This is most definitely not how my family lives and interacts. If my family had dropped by they would have been welcomed and given cleaning or packing duties. This family's interactions sounds so alien to me. However, if a family has set such a firm rule in place, I'm pretty much convinced it was created out of necessity. Buying a house and moving are stressful activities. No one needs additional stress from family.

NTA-They come over without calling or anything knowing the rule and after you explained it to them again they got mad about it.They came to see your daughter who's not even there and they would've known if they called ahead.

Err...without any more context I will say YTA (please don't downvote me just because you disagree with me. Write it in a reply. BP closes accounts that get downvotes) So they broke your rules, so what?? Give them a cup of coffee and then send them packing. Why the melodrama??

There's more to this story, I'm sure. If I knew m in-laws had made an hour trip to see a grandchild, I'd have them in to wait- drinks, snacks, etc. BUT I 've a good relationship w/ m in-laws... The foot-in-the-door stunt is telling. No doubt OP & hubs have good reason to insist they leave. NTA

My in-laws used to do this all of the time and they had the uncanny knack for showing up whenever my babies were sleeping. I don't know how many times I asked them to call first because of this. When MIL would call (very infrequently), I would tell her that the baby was sleeping and to wait for a few hours, she would say that they only wanted to drop something off, pick something up, etc. When I would explain that the dog barks every time someone comes through the door and that alone is enough to wake the baby, she would not listen and show up any way. I started leaving signs on the door for people to not knock or come in, but they were ignored. Then, I started locking the doors but they would come in through the back deck door that I couldn't lock. I couldn't win. I was ecstatic when, years later, my FIL had to give up his license. She didn't drive, so they were stuck. It took a decade, but I finally could go about my day not wondering when they would show up.

I'd have slammed the door on my MIL's foot.

My husband and I are expecting our first child in February and the very first thing that's going to happen upon her arrival is telling every single member of each family that uninvited or unannounced visits will not be allowed. No excuses. This will include texting/calling on the way over to say, "hey we're coming by."

I have the same rule at my place. My mother in law has a key for emergencies and unfortunately she kept using it to just walk in whenever. She’s even walked into my bedroom while I was sleeping. F**k no. The line had to be constantly enforced. Some people do not respect you or your boundaries. I think we have a right to decide we need to know who is coming into our sanctuary.

Can't make my mind up on this. I suspect there's more to the story. Bad that MIL/FIL didn't respect rules, but not sure if I could get police involved with my parents.

Your house, your rules. NTA. Simple.

Me, nor my house, are ever in shape for drop in callers. Just because you're out visiting, doesn't mean that people are ready to receive you. I grew up in the "drop in" phase with my grandparents, and didn't care for it then, really don't care for it now.

You have a reasonable expectation to privacy and that should only be broken in an emergency

I am going to say YTA, unless there is more to the story. I grew up in a house with an open door mentality, our door was always open to family and friends. My grandparents and great grandparents are the same. Our friends growing up always just stopped buy, and will still stop by my parents if they are in town to say hi, as many spent a lot if time at of house, some even lived with us from time to time. Hell, us kids all have have keys to our parents and grandparents (when they were alive) places and if no one is home will let ourselves in and chill, have a snack, watch tv, etc.. Pretty much all of our friends are also the same. If it is an inconvenient time, we just leave, no big deal. That being said, I do know that not everyone feels the same, and that stopping by is not ok unless you call first, and that is absolutely ok. I will always call or text first if someone had that boundary. I will totally respect that. But, this is way to extreme of a reaction to family crossing this type of boundery. I just think they went way to far. They could have reminded them, had them in for a bit, and then ask them to leave while reminding them again. I mean, calling the cops on your family because they didn't call first? That is just extremely rude, mean, and inhospitable. What kind of relationship do you have with people especially family that you would do this? If there is legit reasons, than they needed to explain that, but OP did say they made this rule clear to everyone. Like I said, I get boundaries, but I do feel these people are taking them to the extreme and don't seem like they are very good friends or family members. (Please don't down vote me because of how I view the situation. Down votes get people banned and are supposed to be for hateful comments, harrressment, and spam)

100% NTA. All the people saying you over-reacted apparently do not understand what "boundary" means, and they probably behave rudely themselves.

My parents never came over with out calling first. It was considered curtesy. The first thing she asked when she called was if my husband was home if I said yes she hung up. I had to call her back and make her understand I could talk with him home. She valued mine and his time together and understood with 5 kids between 3 and 6 we were always busy. She also knew because he was in the military he could be gone at a moments notice. I valued her time and wanted her advice. Trying to blend two families is rough .

I feel like they must have the rule for a reason. While it seems like an over reaction to me! I'm seeing it through my own eyes and experiences, not the ops. Nta

My mother's relatives used to do this - just show up at a person's house and walk right in. (This was before it got too dangerous in Jozi to leave gates unlocked or doors open, etc.) If no one was in the lounge they'd stroll into the bedroom, plonk down on one of the chairs and chat to my mom and/or dad while they were still in bed! Stroll into my bedroom and start chatting, even if I wasn't dressed! My parents died and my brother and SIL moved in (he and I co-own the house). Uncle tried this and SIL stopped him from entering. Well, did cousin complain on social media, uncle got his nose out of joint and aunt by marriage never spoke to me again until her death. Too bad, so sad, rudeness isn't tolerate by the younger generations! (Parents were Silent Generation; we're GenX.)