Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling.

Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico."

lostfly Report

POST

View more comments

As a result of rising gas prices... Kidnap victims will no longer be taken to a second location.

Report

POST

"Due to the increase in gas prices a man hanging from the passenger side of his best friend’s ride is no longer a scrub, he is a man making smart financial decisions and I’m intrigued."

spooky cold fox Report

POST

I just ate a popsicle and sold the stick for $30 as "LUMBER."

Report

POST

"Taco Bell is the only place where you can still get gas for under two dollars."

youraveragewhitemale Report

POST

A boy and his grandmother were having a chat about the rising prices of commodities.

“When I was a kid, you could go to the grocery with a dollar and come home with enough food to feed your family for weeks!” she laments.

“Well, Grandma,” the youngster responds, “we recently learned about it at school, and that’s called inflation.”

“No inflation!” exclaimed the granny. “It’s all the security cameras they have today!”

Report

POST

"It's getting so bad I can't even pay attention."

killcon13 Report

POST

I tried selling my soul but the Devil was tapped out.

Report

POST

"Our system is bad. I’m 24 and only have two years left on my mom's health insurance. Then, I have to find a new mother."

Hanna Ljungholm Report

POST

What do you call 50 Cent in Zimbabwe?

Eighty million dollars.

Report

POST

Interviewer: What do you mean by Competitive Salary?

HR: It means your salary will be competing with your bills.

Report

POST

How outrageous are smartphone prices nowadays?

Well, if you fell and hear something break, you pray it’s a bone.

Report

POST

The great thing about inflation is if you spend the same on groceries, the bags are lighter and easier to carry home.

Report

POST

There’s the story of an elderly lady selling pretzels for 25 cents on a New York street corner. Every day at noon, a young man walks by and drops a quarter in the cup but does not take a pretzel. She never says anything. He does this for three years till he drops the quarter in her cup and she finally speaks. “They’re now 35 cents.”

Report

POST

"Burglars broke into my house and left me 50 bucks."

rosenditocabron Report

POST

View more comments

Why are there fewer chips in potato chip packets these days?

It is due to inflation.

Report

POST

Inflation is so high… My favorite rapper changed his name to 75 Cent.

Report

POST

"You know what they say - despite the cost of living, it remains popular."

Cayuga94 Report

POST

Walmart greeters no longer say hello. They apologize.

Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen."

lostfly Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names."

lostfly Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… I called a car dealer to get the book value of my used car. They asked if the gas tank was full or empty."

lostfly Report

POST

View more comments

Is it just me or do these jokes make us laugh and cry at the same time?

Report

POST

View more comments

"Thankfully gas prices can never go above $9.99 since most of the signs only have three digits."

greg Report

POST

What’s the best way to make a Fiat cost twice as much?

Fill up the tank.

Report

POST

What are the similarities between the American dollar and the American dress size?

Both have had to adjust for inflation.

Report

POST

The Federal Reserve is fighting a war against inflation. Journalists are calling it a conflict of interest.

Report

POST

Because gas prices are so high I invented the car powered by talking. However, being a man of few words, I quickly got tired of talking in order to get anywhere so I modified the car to run on thoughts alone. I'm very happy with the results because, well, it goes without saying.

Report

POST

What did the attendant do when a man entered the gas station and requested $5 in gas?

It farted and gave a receipt.

Report

POST

Headline: Rapid inflation leads US Treasury Department to consider ending penny production. But that just doesn't make any cents.

Report

POST

How can inflation actually help you?

Well, it can if your keep your account in the negatives.

Report

POST

Have you heard that Tom Brady is considering running for President?

His platform is lowering inflation.

Report

POST

"Seeing gas prices it’s maybe time for me to learn to ride a bike."

kitkatrampage Report

POST

"Gas prices are so high that even Priuses are looking attractive."

JimmyWu21 Report

POST

A young boy goes to his father in India. “Papa, might I please have 10 rupees?” the youngster pleads. Papa is taken aback and inquires “20 rupees? Why do you require 60 rupees?”

Report

POST

Why have a majority of men started loving their own wives?

Inflation and financial crisis.

Report

POST

Why has the 5-second rule extended to a 10-second rule?

Due to inflation in food commodities.

Report

POST

Did you think that inflation was bad just for you?

Wait till you see what it’s doing to our balloon animals.

Report

POST

Why are there so many jokes about inflation these days?

Because demand has increased following a period of low interest.

Report

POST

How is inflation similar to toothpaste?

Once both get out, you can hardly get it back again.

Report

POST

Why did the balloon store go out of business?

It is due to the cost of inflation.

Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… My friend received a pre-declined credit card in the mail."

lostfly Report

POST

I made a salad out of dollar bills. It was cheaper.

Report

POST

"Me: I need to save my money because I had to work hard to earn it.

Also me: what’s the point of working hard for money if I don't get to spend it."

Tatty H. Report

POST

How can you notice inflation in daily life?

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer."

lostfly Report

POST

The tooth fairy left an IOU letter.

Report

POST

"My bank loan was just approved so I can finally get a full tank of gas!"

ComicChemist356 Report

POST

What’s a funny saying among economists about inflation?

By the time you can finally make ends meet, inflation moves the ends.

Report

POST

Why is Apple the most futuristic company among all?

They’ve already accounted for the next 50 years of inflation!

Report

POST

What if you had a dime for every girl who found you unattractive?

They will eventually find you attractive due to inflation.

Report

POST

What is the similarity between inflation and crabgrass?

None, both destroy. One destroys your savings, the other your lawn.

Report

POST

What do you mean by inflation?

Inflation is being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

Report

POST

Do you believe gas prices are high?

Chimneys are through the roof.

Report

POST

What if you got a dollar every time the economy inflated?

You would have an infinite amount of money but you would be poor as hell.

Report

POST

What is the problem with Inflation Jokes?

Unfortunately, the joke decreases in funniness over time.

Report

POST

Why are tyres so costly?

Inflation, of course.

Report

POST

If you find a $100 bill on the ground and it takes you a second to pick it up… It will be worth $50 due to inflation.

Report

POST

Homes are so expensive in my area I had to move into my friend's bouncy castle. The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.

Report

POST

I bought a balloon for $0.99. How much should I sell it for after I adjust for inflation?

Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates."

lostfly Report

POST

"The Loch Ness monster came up to me yesterday and asked for four fiddy."

dandroid126 Report

POST

"It's good to laugh about these things now before it costs a kidney to use your free time not working a third job."

PsychologicalNinja Report

POST

The local dollar store just put a 5 up in front of the word DOLLAR.

Report

POST

Prices are rising so fast that asking for a price check at the dollar store is no longer embarrassing.

Report

POST

To keep prices down at the dollar store two-ply toilet paper is now 1/4 ply.

Report

POST

Just when I started making enough to pay for things the prices made me poor again.

Report

POST

Restaurants are substituting cheaper cuts of meat. The other night I ordered a steak and got the part of the bull the Matador never sees.

Report

POST

Beggars on the street corners are asking for nothing smaller than a $20 bill.

Report

POST

A man decided to take advantage of the growing science of cryogenics i.e, the science of freezing people up so that they can be in deep freeze for a time and then restored to life. So, he got himself put into the deep freeze for 20 years but before he went into it, he left all his securities and his worldly belongings at his brokers with instructions to do the best he could for him.

20 years later, After the deep freeze, the first thing he did was to run to the telephone to call his broker. His broker said to him,” Hello sir! Welcome back! You’re a millionaire now!

The man said,” Oh really? What happened to my stocks?

The broker went on to explain how his stocks multiplied, some 10 times while the others 20 times but suddenly the telephone operator interrupted the man by saying,” Sorry your three minutes are up, that’ll be $250,000 for the next three minutes, please.”

Report

POST

How do you know inflation is bad?

My grandfather used to say that it was only “a penny for your thots.”

Report

POST

A man has to inflate his tires, so he stops at a gas station, only to discover that the air pump requires a token from the gas station shop in order to function.

The man enters and requests one of the tokens.

“That will be 25p,” the cashier adds as he pays and receives the token.

The man gets back into his car and begins inflating his tires, cursing as he realizes the machine has run out of time halfway through.

He returns to the shop and requests another token.

“That will be 50p,” the cashier says.

“What?” the man exclaims. “A minute ago, it was 25p!”

“That’s inflation for you,” the cashier shrugs.

Report

POST

What caused the price of grapes to rise?

There was a raisin demand.

Report

POST

How did the banker react/say when he learned that inflation had reached an all-time high?

“That really peaks my interest.”

Report

POST

Why are pufferfish so expensive these days?

Inflation.

Report

POST

"Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… CEOs are now playing miniature golf."

lostfly Report

POST

Why are Reebok Pumps shoes so expensive?

Inflation.

Report

POST

Investing in balloons just isn't as profitable as it used to be. I blame inflation.

Report

POST

You are now not supposed to give breaths while doing CPR. Because of inflation.

Report

POST

The band Nickleback is now C-Note. (That's $100 if you are too young to know.)

Report

POST

Families used to feed the dog leftovers. Now they are fighting Fido for his ALPO!

Report

POST

Why are gas prices getting higher?

It still tastes the same to me.

Report

POST

Feeling sick over increasing gas prices at the pump. You could call it the car owner virus.

Report

POST

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

Report

POST

Things are pretty bad right now. Van Diesel was forced to change his name to Van Electric due to increasing gas prices.

Report

POST

"My budget for July is $0. I need to start stealing."

Challan Report

POST

"No sir I’m not “declaring bankruptcy” I’m just in my flop era."

kurtis conner Report

POST

"People be like “live within your means” as if rent, food, & gas are reasonably priced LOL."

xx_lsp Report

POST

"Gas prices are so high it puts stoners to shame."

AlexCC354 Report

POST

"Saw 2 people riding horses down the road today."

Sea-Hamster-2020 Report

POST

"Pretty sure I just saw a go-kart drive up to my work."

ObiBinGinObi Report

POST

How do you explain inflation to a 6-year-old?

In my day, I’d buy a doll with 1 tooth from the tooth fairy. Today, that same doll will cost you 5 teeth.

Report

POST

What is transitory inflation?

It’s similar to regular inflation but with twenty percent more lies.

Report

POST

How high is inflation?

Enough to use a broomstick to commute around.

Report

POST

What would you call Fiddy Cent’s kid?

Named after the father but adjusted to inflation, it will be Buck Fiddy.

Report

POST

Why are airbags so costly?

Inflation.

Report

POST

"Guys I canceled my Netflix subscription I'm so excited to finally own a house who knew it was this easy."

Meg Report

POST

"Me at any house party: How much is ur rent?????"

shar Report

POST

How did a Chartered Accountant explain Inflation to his wife?

You used to be a 36-24-36, but now you’re a 46-40-48. So, theoretically, you have more than you did before, but your value is lower. This, my dear, is called inflation.

Report

POST

A man was having an evening walk with his friend. After a while, he says to his friend, “I am a walking economy.”

“How so?” asks his friend.

“My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression.”

Report

POST

What is an indication of inflation?

A Volkswagen with 12 Latinos in it.

Report

POST

Everyone seems to hate inflation, but today it saved my friend's life. He was suicidal and all the money he had been saving to buy those cyanide pills was suddenly not enough.

Report

POST

What do my ex-wife and the economy have in common?

Inflation over time.

Report

POST

Why are deaths due to shootings rising in America?

It is because of inflation, that shooters are longer able to provide a warning shot.

Report

POST