When my gorgeous girl cat of 18 years died, I grieved more than for my father.

And still most people who have never experienced it think that it's just "being sad". Nope. I wish I would have felt anything like being sad when I was clinically depressed... at least it would have been something else than this emptiness... I was more brokkoli than human.

When you’re depressed you WANT to be sad, because it’s better than the all-consuming nothingness you’re feeling. Happiness would be better, but you’d take anything, and depression makes happiness feel unattainable.

A lot of people just don't get depression. "Be happy" just doesn't work.

It's hard to describe the utter depths of hopelessness that accompanies depression. I knew I was in trouble when I was carrying around the thought of suicide as a comfort. When that feels like your only hope of relief, the situation is pretty bad.

I mentioned to my brother that I think I have depression and he informed me that I'm 'not sad enough' to have depression and you can only have depression if you spend all day in your bed crying. Like, one, that's entirely wrong, but also two, what do you think I do in my room alone all day??

The sad thing is that, for me, I can no longer remember the feeling of *not* having depression. In all honesty, it's impossible to imagine me living a normal life without depression.

I completely disagree. When I'm depressed I an just fine with dying. Don't mistake my being too depressed to have the energy to commit suicide for me not wishing I'm dead every single second

When I was very depressed I just felt numb. I didn't care if I died. I didn't want to k1ll myself I just didn't care if I got into an accident that would take my life. So being a pedestrian and crossing the road was.... interesting. Also, I got over it by studying. I realized that if I just studied for classes I would actually keep my mind occupied and the text I read was gonna be the same no matter my mood. And so I got really good grades that year at uni. Lol. Also, I found 1 thing that could make me laugh even if I also felt numb. Franz Kafka's The Trial made me laugh. And now that I'm better I never want to read the book again. Ever.

I was clinically depressed during a period in my 20s (all good now and have been well since my recovery). It started with life losing colors and taste, losing joy, and day by day growing into an immense hopelessness and emptiness. And one day nothing makes sense and there's no reason to do anything, not even getting up. Very strange. And add to that the feelings that come as a consequence: self-pity, shame, guilt, self-hate, defeat, sadness... It's like feeling too much and nothing at the same time. Very heavy, very strange and difficult to explain.

Being sad would be a relief. You honestly don't know if you care if a bus hits you.

And being on SSRI meds does not create happiness. It just is not sad. It a kind of mental numbness where one does not feel sad, but one can no longer feel joy either.

Having been there, the feelings of nothing. When they come hard, are like stepping of a cliff into a black abyss, no feelings just emptiness and loss and an overwhelming hopelessness.

I'm kinda there now.

Mix it with autism and adhd and you have the cursed trilogy. I hate it? I'm sorry? Road trip!!

Depression & anxiety are the absolute WORST! Struggling all day to win battles against your own brain

It feels like wanting to go to sleep and not wake up. Hoping that when you do wake up the feeling will be gone.

I had an epiphany once during an episode where I said, out loud: "I don't want to die, I just want my life to be over". I realized at some point there was a reason I said that, so I decided to look and make changes. I'm doing better. Starting with 200+ lbs of weight. Expensive, so worth it.

My depression finally went after many years, but I still feel it trying to poke back in. Just remember, don't do anything serious. You don't know what magic the next day may have even if the current one was the worst. I was 1st depressed when I was 14. 50 years later I'm still going. I'm glad for all the special moments, even when it felt like there couldn't be any.

Some aspects of depression can be OK, if you have no experience of anything different. Living without joy is fine, if you've never experienced it (mostly). But it makes life something to do, existence without "living". When you live you life in neutral, however, it doesn't take much to push you into negative territory, and keep you there (like chronic pain). And when the walls of despair close in around you, just keeping the lungs working can be a challenge.

I used to explain it as beyond s☠️cidal because even that takes foresight and drive I did not possess.

I get thia totally! I don't want to be dead or alive.i just don't want to be.

My ex-husband just don't be sad.

I do want to die but yeah.

My goddess, truer words have never been spoken

The feeling of being in a constant fog

It truly is limbo

When I first met my wife I was seriously alarmed at the pain she went through every month. Never realised it could be so crippling. I almost called an ambulance on one occasion.

This is sometimes referred to as "ADHD paralysis" which may not be a perfect term but is easier for neurotypicals to understand.

Yeah, one of the worst part of depression is that you don't even feel love for your most loved ones anymore. You know you love them, but you don't feel anything but emptiness.

Oh eww, I know that feeling. Or you stand up and it happens, it’s so ick 😣

And it can be loud to you while no one else hears it. I don't want to be triggered by lip-smacking and it is certainly far beyond a little annoyance. Not something I can 'just ignore.'

I've been under a couple times and it is not like sleeping at all. When sleeping you have a sense of time, with anesthesia you go out and then you come back in what feels like it could be a blink even though it was hours - absolutely no sense of time.

Oh hello other me! I think the weirdest part of this type of pain is how insidious it can be. When the back pain and breathing problems are chronic like mine, you start to acclimate to the pain. But there really is no acclimating to not breathing enough. It just steals your brain from you.

I don't have or want children, but the pure joy in a young child's laughter is something else.

Horrible, traumatic losses are like this. There are times I wish there was some sort of physical sign you would get so that others could understand how bad things are, but I guess that is evolution keeping our enemies from knowing how vulnerable we are at the moment.

The amalgamation of hurt, rage, and betrayal is overwhelming.

I'm just a bathroom and car singer, but I do love the feeling of it

Oh heavens at 17? That must have been extremely devastating! I‘ve lost my first child shortly before her due date and I think I will forever be gratefull, that she died like that and has not lived to be any age within her childhood or teen years. That would have broken me.

And the other way round with loss of a child. No parent should outlive their child

I had sleep paralysis and it truly terrified me. Not long after I watched a programme about it, now I just think oh it's that again.

And it doesn't go away just because they grow up either.

eughhh *shudders* that feeling when it's coming out though it feels like getting that one spaghetti in the back of your throat when you ate too much 🤢

But I am sure you did your very best!

I experienced these for the first time a few days ago, after my pharmacy screwed up my Rx and I ran out prematurely. Good thing I knew what they knew what they are. Mine lasted maybe five seconds each, but that five seconds is weird and disconcerting.

It' sounds like a terrible feeling. Try talking it through with a therapist? May be a lot of hurt and pain mixed in there.

It might be because I've just read the pie post, but that curtain doesn't half look like rhubarb

Why am i crying?

You can be alone but not lonely and you can be with people and feel lonely..

Memories you get if you smell some particular smell.

It's crazy. It's amazing. It's scary. It's wonderful. It's painful. It's exhausting. It's life changing. (Currently pregnant for the third time. 8th month. I still try to process all the feelings every day)