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The wedding season is upon us. That means it’s time to brush up on some wedding etiquette! After all, such an occasion is only as great as the guests who attend it, and you wouldn’t want to be the one souring someone’s big day.
We couldn't think of a better way to do this than by looking at real-life scenarios of what to absolutely avoid doing at this special celebration. Luckily for us, this online thread is full of them, serving as didactic stories for anyone planning to attend one. To find them, all you have to do is scroll down.
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#1
This was at my wedding. My cousin got lost on his way to the church and called his dad. My uncle answers his phone and starts yelling out directions, asking people what street the church was on ect.. in the middle of our vows. The minister stopped talking while my uncle gave directions without leaving his seat. Just sitting in the middle of the church yelling out directions. After the ceremony the minister said how rude my uncle was and he also performs funerals in case I wanted to k**l him.
#2
Part of the vows. I don't remember the exact wording, but something about "I shall enter you in a way no man has, and after pulling out, a piece of me will remain inside you always".
Then, from the back of the church some one whispers loud enough for just about everyone to hear "Wait, what the f**k did he just say?".
#3
In the middle of the reception a birthday cake was rolled out and some people started singing happy birthday (a lot of us had no idea whose birthday it was). The birthday cake was bigger than the wedding cake. Turns out it was the mother of the groom's birthday, but the bride had no idea this was going to happen.
Panda Kicki 6 months ago
Great opportunity to have another candidate then the bride for the terrible cake smashing stunt.
A survey looked into this deeper and found that the worst thing guests can do related to weddings is ignore an invitation. In second place is dressing casually, even though the code dress was formal, with 79% saying it’s inappropriate.
The next faux pas is wearing something that overshadows the couple, followed by getting too drunk. Regarding overindulging in bubbly, 74% think it’s rude, 19 believe it’s fine, and 7% remain neutral.
#4
Their 3 year old son during husband and wife speeches absolutely sprinting up the walkway holding his bum yelling “ I need to poo, poo coming!!!!” With agony in his eyes. Absolute best part of the day.
#5
Wedding as a fundraiser for greedy bride.
The wedding was in a big Catholic Church. Undecorated. Boring ultra-religious ceremony.
But the reception was unforgettable in the worst way. It was an abandoned roller rink. When we all showed up, it was dark, and empty. All the wedding guests had to set up tables and chairs. Like a PTA meeting. Still no decorations.
The buffet was refried beans, rice, and tortillas. That’s it. No condiments. No drinks. Paper plates. No trash cans.
The bride and groom arrived 2 hours after everyone else (they went to Burger King, smoked a few bowls) and immediately started the Money Dance. The mom went around to each guest and shook a big black trash bag at us until we chipped in.
Then we were told to queue up to dance with the bride. This required “at least $5, but $20 was preferred.” The groom was drinking outside. They chose Rappers Delight because it’s a really long song so they could collect the most money.
They kept pressuring guests and relatives to dance then pushed them out of the way after 20 seconds for the next person.
When the song was over, the bride and her mom counted the money. The bride then grabbed a mic and said they they would be holding a *second* money dance because they were “so disappointed they only made $800.” They hoped for at least $2000.
They put on Rappers Delight again as I left.
ॐBoyGanesh 6 months ago
That big black trash bag was more than utilitarian. It was symbolic; thematic.
#6
Necessary background: My sister was abandoned at night on the side of the road when she was a few hours old. A Catholic priest found her, and our parents adopted her.
When she was planning her wedding, she found the priest who had found her. He agreed to officiate her wedding. He asked her if she would let him tell her story during the ceremony and she said yes.
So, day of the wedding. He’s telling this heartwarming story about how he found my sister. Then he says, But what if her mother had had an abortion instead?!
He bellowed it and went off for several minutes on an anti-abortion rant. It was absolutely bizarre.
Other high-ranking inappropriate behaviors include giving a speech without permission, proposing at someone else’s wedding, bringing a plus one without permission, and wearing white.
#7
I was at one where the bride got so drunk she passed out so they put her in a wheelchair and wheeled her around unconscious so people could take selfies with her.
#8
Didn't witness it myself but my brother recounts a wedding he was invited to and the groom was caught with his pants down.
With the bride's dad.
#9
The bride gave her father a lap dance.
Wish to god I was making this up. Grooms all wore camo and the place settings were all hunting themed. It was the trashiest thing I have ever seen.
When it comes to the couples themselves, people believe the worst things they can do at their wedding are ask guests to pay for their meal, show too much skin, forbid a plus-one, and charge money for the drinks.
#10
Assistant wedding planner here. One time one of my jobs was keeping a very drunk 30year old groomsman away from a 14 year old cousin.
#11
The bride coming out of the bathroom and a man sneaking out of the same bathroom 5 minutes later.( Yes, I told the groom. He kicked me out of the wedding for "lying". The baby wasn't his and has since apologized).
ॐBoyGanesh 6 months ago
“Never try to pull someone’s head out of the sand. You’ll only get it in your eyes & your privates.”
Panda Kicki 6 months ago
Has the baby apologized..? ;) or the groom? Strange wording aside, I am not sure I would have gone to the groom. Not caught in the act there COULD have been several reasons depending on how the toilet situation was located. I would at least spoken to the bride first and give her the chance to come clean.
#12
The couple next to us - we knew them and had socialised with them before - took their newish born to the ceremony with them. Halfway through, it starts making noise, like babies do.
Instead of taking it outside like normal people, they pull out a phone and start playing Peppa Pig. With the volume on. Loud.
I missed that beautiful ceremony of two amazing people because all I could hear was Peppa bloody Pig. I'd rather have listened to the baby.
#13
Some dancer girls were hired by the bride to dance and AS A JOKE at the end of the dance they would go to the groom and acuse him he had multiple children with them in the past and he left and run away while they were pregnant. Stupid idea, awkward and embarrassing, no one was laughing except the bride.
#14
The groom sister, walked in with a wedding gown, not a white dressy dress, no, no, no, white ball gown wedding dress, looks almost identical to the bride's ....we had a hard time telling them apart! She insisted on interrupting the first dance and danced with her brother ...
Groom's mom was also wearing white ....
#15
The mother of the bride put her head down on the table during the reception and died on the spot.
#16
They included in their vows that they won't cheat on each other. They divorced two years later for cheating on each other.
#17
A guest with a screaming baby was late to the ceremony and walked directly behind the bride while she was walking down the aisle.
#18
My uncle…. Hitting on the bride. Who was my sister…..
Edit. Point of clarification, at my sisters wedding. Not mine. But that was a big reason why said uncle was not invited when I got married. I really need to improve on my grammar, I blame the school system.
#19
Groom was my friend. Bride's family hated/disliked him, and purposely left him out of all official pictures.
They divorced a year later because he couldn't take her family ruining things anymore.
#20
Literally 15 seconds before she walked down the aisle, the bride texted the guy sitting next to me “I wish it was you at this end of the aisle waiting for me”.
#21
TLDR - my aunt brought up my dead grandfather at a wedding after being asked not to and made like 20 people cry. Some of which had to leave the room
——
Not really inappropriate, but my aunt brought up my grandfathers extremely sudden death at my male cousins wedding. My grandfather had had a stroke, and was extremely close with pretty much everyone at the wedding. Out of worry for everyone else, my cousins wife asked my aunt (his mom) to not bring up my grandfather because mentioning him and things like how he’s not here or how he’s “watching from heaven” could upset to many people, especially my grandmother and my mom who were also attending the wedding)
Well my aunt got up there and brought him up anyway. And it wasn’t in a nonchalant nice way either. She got up to the podium and glared right at my cousins wife and snapped “*SOME PEOPLE* don’t want me to say anything,” and then proceeded to talk about how my grandfather is watching the wedding from “heaven” and how he should be here
That made my grandmother start crying. My mom started after her. My little brother (10 years old) started crying because he noticed my mom and grandmother were upset. Then a bunch more other people *also* started crying because they started thinking about him as well. A few people had to leave the room.
#22
My best friend streaked at my wedding reception, but that wasn't really that inappropriate; that was awesome!
However, at his wedding, my friend's 40 year old brother hooked up with the neighbor's teenage daughter and got her pregnant. That was inappropriate.
TheNewJenBrady 6 months ago
A 40 year old doesn't "hook up" with a teenager...it's s***al assault
#23
I go to a wedding - it's my new boyfriend's family so I know nobody. It's a Baptist wedding.
The preacher gets a section where he gives his own mini sermon. In that sermon, he pulled out issues from their required counseling sessions with said preacher. Preacher is saying (names are fake )"Now Jody, you are going to have to let Craig wear the pants in the family. You are opinionated but he needs to lead." Add in more stuff about the husband but it was mostly about her.
The husband was hanging his head. The wife looked like she was gonna kill him. I was at the back of the church and I was still tempted to run up and knock that Bible out of his hand to break up that dumpster fire.
And because it was a Baptist wedding, there was no booze at the reception. 0/10.
#24
At my first wedding my wife got so unbelievably drunk she had to be carried back to our hotel room before 11pm. It was a New Year's Eve wedding.
She'd been banging her best friends brother while I was away on military duty and the guilt was ripping her apart.
#25
Bride was drunk, sandwiched between two drunk groomsmen and they were all gyrating and rubbing her verrrry intimately. Also just so happen to be the only people on the dance floor.
She looked more than happy to take part in front of her new husband who had a drink and watched from the very back of the venue- not happy obviously.
It was so shameless. We all just jaw-dropped watched it happen.
#26
My favorite is dancing to "If you like Pina Coladas...". The song is about two married people looking for an affair and finding each other's anonymous post and meeting to cheat and realizing they connected to each other.
Jan Rosier 6 months ago
Every breath you take, by the police... top ten weddingdance openers. A song about a stalker telling his victim he's not going to stop...
#27
Went to a wedding reception. Was a Mexican wedding.
DJ was a MESS and couldn’t get any of the songs right. It’s time for the son/mother in law dance. They start dancing and then the song comes on ….. Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye. I’ve never wanted to laugh so hard in my life.
#28
I was a groomsman at a wedding taking place in a Catholic cathedral. During the practice session, the groom and best man had to kneel in front of the priest. I thought I didn't hear this right, but the priest said "(groom's name) and (best man's name) kneeling in front of me, my heart be still!" while putting his hand to his chest. I mentioned this to the bride later (after the wedding), who said "father (his name) is abstinent, but abstinent from what is anyone's guess.".
#29
I saw one of the groomsmen slap the bride on the a*s. Hard. He wasn't related to her and as far as I know they had never met before the run through for the wedding.
#30
Not really inappropriate, but just goddamn sad.
Roughly 35 people from the bride's side of the family RSVP'd, as well as a group of around 10 "friends". Only 4 people of the entire bride's side showed. Her side of the ceremony's seating was a ghost town. I was so sad and angry for her.
Anna Boes 6 months ago
Uhm, sounds like a story here... my family is so adhd-y it's not even funny, but the women would rather die than be late to a wedding, and I know we'll enough to send two or three low-key reminderd out, so even my family would attend - about 2 out of 3 roughly on time, too. 😆 so what in earth kept 40 people from attending a wedding at once?
#31
The groom got underneath the brides dress and pulled off her panties and threw it into a crowd full of children, the bride was supposedly okay with it, but they nullified the marriage a week later.
#32
The brides family came in their work clothes. The guy pumps septic tanks for a living and had gotten it on him that day. Like, A LOT. Also, he liked to wear overalls and no shirt. Classy fella.
BROmanicus85 6 months ago
Well, if that marriage started "sh!tty" then we could only imagine how it continued! :))
#33
The groom drunkenly saying during his speech "babe I can't wait to fill you with some thick loads"
Neither of them remembered the speeches or beyond.
#34
When someone suddenly proposed while in other people's wedding. It's screaming attention w**re.
#35
One of the bridesmaids over served herself at my wedding reception and passed out. One of the other bridesmaid’s father, family friend of my wife and a big guy, helpfully volunteers to carry her to a car so her friend can take her home. He holds her in a fireman’s carry all the way from the head table past the entire group of 200 guests. She was not wearing underwear. She and my wife did not speak for about three years after that.
#36
The groom f*****g the maid of honor, who also just so happened to be the brides sister.
#37
After the wedding, while the couple got into the limo to head over to the reception across town, the grooms ex shows up in a truck and (gently) rams the limo. She jumps out of the truck, clearly drunk, and proceeds to yell at the bride and groom. Everyone is watching- the grooms family members usher all the guests away and send us to the reception. We waited on the bride and groom for about 2 hours with an open bar. They eventually arrived but the celebration was clearly deflated from that point on. It was a co-worker and I left the company a few weeks later. No idea how the marriage turned out.
Seanette Blaylock 6 months ago
Time to call the police on a drunk driver committing vehicular assault.
#38
They held the wedding in a school cafeteria for some reason, and the second they said "I do", those heavy-a*s steel shutters at the counter rolled up with a big KACHUNK noise to reveal the bar and the entire crowd rushed to the back of the room to get drinks.
#39
I'm late and it was the reception, but I(f) had to break up a threesome on the patio between the (gay) groomsman, maid of honor, and a waiter at my best friend's wedding. He and his new wife never even knew until much, much (years) later.
#40
Bride’s father thought the day was about him. Kept interrupting everything to make speeches, but the best part was him presenting his gift to the couple. He wrote and recited some cringe s**t poem about love that sounded like it was written by a twelve year old, but he didn’t stop there. He had it transcribed in calligraphy and mounted in a huge 2x4 ft frame. The topper was that he also made a stack of copies for everyone to take home. No I didn’t take one.
#41
The groom in the bathroom alone with an old ex, moments from f*****g. Literal lampshade on his head.
The bride outside wandering in the dark asking “has anyone seen my husband?”
I still side eye that hoe bag ex of his all the time. B***h. (Him too).
#42
This lady got super drunk after the wedding and started hitting on the now married groom, having a melt down, crawling under a table and just freaking out.
Kicker: she was dating one of the groomsmen at the time.
#43
Well, the two women I saw drunkenly making out and groping each other while *lying down* on the dance floor has nothing on most of these.
BoredPossum 6 months ago
We're they related, alien invaders, Catholic priests, the bride? If not, in this crazy list, it's meh.
#44
My cousin got blackout drunk at my brother's wedding. Told me it's all downhill from here for my brother and that my cousin might as well be a sperm donor and not a father (cousin is married with a son.)
While watching the professional video of my brother's reception, you can't hear the audio but you can actually see this exchange between the two of us in the background. Be careful what you do at weddings, you never know what will be on camera.
#45
During the candle lighting, playing the song, "Stay With Me." Uhhhhh, the song is about a loveless, one night stand.
Alex 6 months ago
We chose the music for our wedding specifically because we thought it would make people laugh. We walked in with the march from Jurassic Park, had "The Book of love (is long and boring...)" ist after the vows and walked out to "Love and Marriage" because we knew most people would associate it with Married with Children.
#46
6 best men, each doing a speech, and they got progressively worse until the last one was entirely made up of weird sex jokes.
#47
I was a florist. We were waiting to turn the room during the ceremony. It was a fully Jewish wedding, reformed, but both sides were Jewish. They played Ave Maria during the ceremony. No one sang the lyrics but it was still very bizarre. Everyone knows that's a Catholic prayer to Mary.
#48
I had a long term girlfriend whose mom and boyfriend were swingers.
They had us house sit for them one time so they could go to a wedding in a different part of the state. Apparently they were both super excited about the prenuptual g******g that was going to take place with the bride as the central attraction.
They said the groom wanted to make sure he was marrying the biggest s**t he could find.
#49
Best man’s speech proposing to the bride. Jerry Springer was wild man.
Anna Ekberg 6 months ago
They aired that show in Sweden, all the audience chanting "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry" while some guests were fighting on stage. That show was wild!
#50
When I clotheslined a kid during the garder throw at my uncles wedding
I intentionally missed him but everyone was appalled.
What is the most inappropriate thing you've ever seen at a wedding?
LB 6 months ago
I swear I just read half of these entries on another post on BP. Was that yesterday? The day before?
James016 6 months ago
Over 20 years ago, a friend of mine got married to someone who was in no way right for him. She had a kid but by all accounts didn't have much involvement due to her not being bothered. The marriage didn't last as the final straw was she was caught stealing from his family. However at the wedding, the DJ played Too Much Too Young by The Specials. You've done too much, Much too young Now you're married with a kid When you could be having fun with me
ConstantlyJon 6 months ago (edited)
When my wife and I were dating we did the music for a very small wedding in this little church out in the country for a co-worker of hers. Woman wanted to walk down the aisle to Little White Church, which is basically a song that talks about a girl who won't do anything else until her man takes her to a little white church and marries her. They'd been living together for a decade and the wedding was a formality and probably an excuse to have a reception and party. However, at the reception my wife and I were excited to dance and were the *only* couple to take the floor. Everyone else wasn't even in the building, they went out and drank on their trucks in the parking lot. At one point the DJ and his wife danced alongside us since it was so wide open. Not inappropriate but pretty awkward. We had a good time together at least. When we left, everyone gave us a cheer and raised their bottles as if we did something crazy by dancing at the reception. Very bizarre.
ConstantlyJon 6 months ago
Sidenote: the bride of that wedding is now doing some pretty hard time for dealing narcotics, so that's fun.
Load More Replies... 
Elisabeth Smith 6 months ago
We flew across the country for our friends' wedding, dropped our baby at my Mother's, and drove several hours to the wedding. Keep in mind the bride's parents are tenured professors. We arrived before the wedding (which was where we were staying), approached the small bar which had been set up, only to find it was a cash bar. At the reception, we got one complimentary bottle of wine per table of 20 guests. The Mother of the bride pulled us aside and said, because we had traveled so far for the wedding, we should come to lunch at her home the next day. We did so, and lunch consisted of 1/2 a loaf of Wonder bread (still in the bag), some deli ham still in the wrapper, and a jar of mayonnaise with the knife sticking out of it.
John Harrison 6 months ago
Can we stop using the word "shook" in this manner, and pretend that we never did?
somnomania (she/her, queer) 6 months ago
what i learned from this is that straight people are f*****g weird, and why on earth do so many people go to weddings for coworkers or people they barely know
Snowy Ashton 6 months ago
Another list of reasons why, if I ever get married (it's questionable at this point), there will be no alcohol and a small guest list.
LB 6 months ago
I swear I just read half of these entries on another post on BP. Was that yesterday? The day before?
James016 6 months ago
Over 20 years ago, a friend of mine got married to someone who was in no way right for him. She had a kid but by all accounts didn't have much involvement due to her not being bothered. The marriage didn't last as the final straw was she was caught stealing from his family. However at the wedding, the DJ played Too Much Too Young by The Specials. You've done too much, Much too young Now you're married with a kid When you could be having fun with me
ConstantlyJon 6 months ago (edited)
When my wife and I were dating we did the music for a very small wedding in this little church out in the country for a co-worker of hers. Woman wanted to walk down the aisle to Little White Church, which is basically a song that talks about a girl who won't do anything else until her man takes her to a little white church and marries her. They'd been living together for a decade and the wedding was a formality and probably an excuse to have a reception and party. However, at the reception my wife and I were excited to dance and were the *only* couple to take the floor. Everyone else wasn't even in the building, they went out and drank on their trucks in the parking lot. At one point the DJ and his wife danced alongside us since it was so wide open. Not inappropriate but pretty awkward. We had a good time together at least. When we left, everyone gave us a cheer and raised their bottles as if we did something crazy by dancing at the reception. Very bizarre.
ConstantlyJon 6 months ago
Sidenote: the bride of that wedding is now doing some pretty hard time for dealing narcotics, so that's fun.
Load More Replies... Elisabeth Smith 6 months ago
We flew across the country for our friends' wedding, dropped our baby at my Mother's, and drove several hours to the wedding. Keep in mind the bride's parents are tenured professors. We arrived before the wedding (which was where we were staying), approached the small bar which had been set up, only to find it was a cash bar. At the reception, we got one complimentary bottle of wine per table of 20 guests. The Mother of the bride pulled us aside and said, because we had traveled so far for the wedding, we should come to lunch at her home the next day. We did so, and lunch consisted of 1/2 a loaf of Wonder bread (still in the bag), some deli ham still in the wrapper, and a jar of mayonnaise with the knife sticking out of it.
John Harrison 6 months ago
Can we stop using the word "shook" in this manner, and pretend that we never did?
somnomania (she/her, queer) 6 months ago
what i learned from this is that straight people are f*****g weird, and why on earth do so many people go to weddings for coworkers or people they barely know
Snowy Ashton 6 months ago
Another list of reasons why, if I ever get married (it's questionable at this point), there will be no alcohol and a small guest list.
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