Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Husband Refuses To Stand Up To His Parents Who Treat His Wife Like A Maid, She Files For Divorce
2.1K

Husband Refuses To Stand Up To His Parents Who Treat His Wife Like A Maid, She Files For Divorce

Husband Refuses To Stand Up To His Parents Who Treat His Wife Like A Maid, She Files For DivorceWoman Is Tired Of Being Treated As A Maid By In-Laws, The Final Straw Comes When She Gets PregnantWoman Treated Like A Maid By In-Laws Has Had It With Husband Doing Nothing, Files For DivorceFamily Keeps Disrespecting DIL’s Boundaries, Even After Finding Out She’s Pregnant, She LeavesWoman Leaves Husband And His Family After They Treat Her Like A MaidFamily Expects This Woman To Cook And Clean Even When She's Sick, Regrets ItHeated Argument Leaves Wife At A Crossroad: “My In-Laws Treat Me Like A Live-In Maid”Woman Treated Like A Maid By In-Laws Who Just Lay Around All Day Gets Needed Support Online“AITA For Saying My In-Laws Treat Me Like A Live-In Maid And Wanting To Move Out?”Man Refuses To Move Out Of Parents’ House Despite Wife Being Treated Like A Live-In Maid
ADVERTISEMENT

The internet is, in some regards, a beautiful place. It might not solve all of your problems, let alone do that for you, but it will surely give you a channel to vent your frustrations through. And, sometimes, that’s just as good.

A woman went to Reddit to share a personal story of mistreatment, disrespect, and betrayal that turned out to be a huge triumph for her in the end. And the lovely folks of the internet were there to support her in their own ways.

The internet might not solve all your problems, but it gives us a chance to vent. And sometimes, that’s good enough

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)

A woman vented her frustrations with her in-laws and husband, asking netizens if she’s wrong to want to move out

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Soft_Career_8688

Soon after posting, the woman shared more context in her first update, explaining how she got there and what she has already tried to do

Image credits: Liliana Drew (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Soft_Career_8688

A second update came around some months later when the woman found out she was pregnant

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

Husband Refuses To Stand Up To His Parents Who Treat His Wife Like A Maid, She Files For Divorce
ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Soft_Career_8688

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

This one’s a lengthy one, so brace yourself. In a nutshell: the woman and her hubby move in with her in-laws to help out as the dad had health issues. During the time that they’ve been living there, OP had taken on a number of chores because it was just easier for her.

Ultimately, the balance of things to do around the house among the various family members shifted in unhealthy ways that did not benefit OP at all. It has become such a big problem that even when she was sick, she was still expected to cook while everyone else sat on the couch watching television.

OP did try to talk to her hubby, but that didn’t work. She suggested moving out on several occasions, but everyone was against it. The meatloaf hit the fan when the mother-in-law asked if OP could give everything an extra scrub so as to kill off her germs. While she was still sick. It was only natural that she snapped after all the exhaustion and disrespect.

ADVERTISEMENT

It all went downhill from there. Not only was she treated like a live-in maid, she also became a mere ‘incubator’ once she found out she’s pregnant. Everyone immediately started making plans for her, deciding things for the baby—her voice didn’t matter.

So she packed her bags and left. And when nobody did anything about rectifying this schism in the relationship, OP distanced herself from them for good, and started the divorce process.

She’s been doing great since then. Rents a spacious 3-bedroom house while she’s waiting for the knot to be untied. Once the daughter is born, OP’s side of the family will be there to help out and play with her. A sweet ending to an otherwise bitter story.

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Folks online were all in favor of an NTA here. The story was still in progress, but folks were quick to suggest running away from that toxic environment as it would only get worse.

ADVERTISEMENT

It was enough that the doormat husband was silent every time there was a clash, but the in-laws had to be flat out using OP in dehumanizing ways. There’s nothing good that can ever come out of such a dynamic.

Commenters further pointed out that this arrangement only ever benefited the in-laws and, to some extent, the hubby. The in-laws were getting the best deal as the young’uns were there to pay most of the bills and solve most of their problems, including caring for the dad. They didn’t even have to lift a finger. Neither did the hubby, minus him paying something.

The saddest part is that these are grown adults who were very self-sufficient before OP came into the picture. Folks pointed that out as a peak form of entitlement, and that demands zero justification on OP’s part when it comes to making decisions that benefit her.

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

The issues seen in this story correspond to the overall, sad reality of marriages and relationships. Lack of commitment (75%) and conflict in the household (58%) are among the top 3 reasons for divorce. Infidelity is the other one (60%). You can also throw in lack of family support as a reason too (that’s #8 in the list with 18%).

“Final Straw” situations, however, are most often associated with reasons other than what OP went through. The phenomenon is reported among 69% of all divorced couples with infidelity (24%), domestic violence (21%) and substance abuse (12%) as the top reasons.

Though, it is important to note that divorce rates have dropped in the last 20 years. The CDC reports that the divorce rate per 1,000 population used to be a 4 back in 2000, but it decreased to 2.5 in 2021 with a slight dip to 2.3 in 2020. Then again, marriage rates decreased as well—from 8.2 to 6.0 respectively.

The decrease seems to be due to a shift in public attitude about marriage. An increasing amount of people are starting to think of marriage as unnecessary. So much so that back in 2010, 40% of Americans thought of it as obsolete. It boils down to the conviction that marriage doesn’t allow for as much freedom, which is a problem if a person has adult aspirations and desires for achieving something in life.

ADVERTISEMENT

So, what are your thoughts on any of this? How would you have approached OP’s predicament? Do you agree with the community’s verdict? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!

Folks online deemed the woman not a jerk for wanting a better life, suggesting she legs it as fast as she can

ADVERTISEMENT
Share on Facebook
Robertas Lisickis

Robertas Lisickis

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Read less »
Robertas Lisickis

Robertas Lisickis

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
EM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm over-the-moon relieved OP left, filed for divorce, and will be raising her daughter away from these a-holes.

MrsFettesVette
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, it sounds like OP and her baby will have a cozy, happy life surrounded by the love of family and friends. I wish her the best.

Load More Replies...
KombatBunni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my (long ago) ex husband started treating me like his maid, you can bet I noped out of there real fast. At first I put up with it because I had zero support from anyone (especially my family) but after he said he didn’t trust or respect me I moved out as soon as I could. OP is NTA but her idiot husband and his mother are. Yikes

dremetrius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"One day all of this will be yours" is not a legally binding agreement. They might get religion, or remarry, or sell and blow it all on bucket lists, or leave it to a charity for lazy spiteful old in-laws, or a million other things. Before things ever get to this point, an agreement should be made with the homeowners, preferably one that can actually be registered against the title. Who pays for what, who is responsible for what, what insurance is required, maintenance schedules, emergency costs, processes for if the relationships dissolve, on and on and on and on. Or just say "we're sorry to hear your no longer feeling like you can cope in your current home, we don't feel comfortable taking on the role of live in caregivers, but we'd be happy to help you look for a smaller place or assisted living of you feel you're at that point."

Load More Comments
EM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm over-the-moon relieved OP left, filed for divorce, and will be raising her daughter away from these a-holes.

MrsFettesVette
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, it sounds like OP and her baby will have a cozy, happy life surrounded by the love of family and friends. I wish her the best.

Load More Replies...
KombatBunni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my (long ago) ex husband started treating me like his maid, you can bet I noped out of there real fast. At first I put up with it because I had zero support from anyone (especially my family) but after he said he didn’t trust or respect me I moved out as soon as I could. OP is NTA but her idiot husband and his mother are. Yikes

dremetrius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"One day all of this will be yours" is not a legally binding agreement. They might get religion, or remarry, or sell and blow it all on bucket lists, or leave it to a charity for lazy spiteful old in-laws, or a million other things. Before things ever get to this point, an agreement should be made with the homeowners, preferably one that can actually be registered against the title. Who pays for what, who is responsible for what, what insurance is required, maintenance schedules, emergency costs, processes for if the relationships dissolve, on and on and on and on. Or just say "we're sorry to hear your no longer feeling like you can cope in your current home, we don't feel comfortable taking on the role of live in caregivers, but we'd be happy to help you look for a smaller place or assisted living of you feel you're at that point."

Load More Comments
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda