Florida has a mixed reputation, but there is no denying that it’s abundant with sunshine, beaches, swimming, and general outdoor relaxation. The idea of a woman taking a swim isn’t and should not be controversial anywhere and particularly not in Florida.

So one internet user shared her story where precisely the opposite happened. She and her husband were going to a football draft party at his parent’s new house in Florida. Among other features, it had a pool, and naturally, she decided to go for a swim while the sports fans did their thing inside. But a problem arose when her in-laws pulled her aside to tell her about a strange rule they had for their home.

You would think that in the 21st century, people would let their own family members feel comfortable at home

Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)

A woman visited her in-law’s new Florida house, equipped with its own pool

She wanted to take a swim while some other family members ran their fantasy football draft

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Her husband’s parents insisted on the weird and restrictive rule

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ok-Internet-2420

Overbearing in-laws can even be a mental health hazard

While not as important as the relationship with one’s own parents and spouse, in-laws can still have a significant impact on the mental health of a person. While each family is different, as cultures and circumstances vary, the general trend for women is that negative relations with a mother-in-law are associated with more psychological distress. This concept works both ways, as women who have a good relationship with their mother-in-law indicate lower levels of psychological stress.

Any good relationship is a two-way road. There has to be mutual respect and affection between both parties. Even in cases where the relationship outwardly looks positive, it’s always possible that one party is constantly biting their tongues and secretly dreading seeing the other. After all, the mother-in-law in this story does not seem to think she and her husband are doing anything wrong. They might think that their relationship with their daughter-in-law is perfectly normal, even if the feeling is absolutely not mutual.

OP was right to keep some distance between herself and the in-laws

The number one solution in such a situation is spousal support. The OP indicated that her husband does think the rule is ridiculous and pretty sexist. But, on the flip side, he doesn’t fully understand why she might not want to go back. Hence her decision to ask internet users what they think. Rightly, they agreed with her, that her in-law’s rule was at the very least misguided since Florida is not a place where one can escape seeing people in bathing suits. Regardless, it doesn’t seem like the in-laws are going to reconsider any time soon, despite paying for a pool that only half the family can use.

Not visiting them is ultimate, the best option. Even if they change their mind on pool rules, what woman would feel comfortable swimming, knowing that they are internally judging you? OP is correct to set boundaries, and those only work if they are maintained. Circumstantial evidence shows that the literal, physical distance between a couple and their in-laws actually increases the chance of a marriage lasting longer. And it will also prevent any arguments between both parties that will just make the situation worse.

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People responded with indignation at how the woman was treated and OP answered some reader questions

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