Oh dear lord! Had I been the OP, my reaction would have gotten me arrested. I would have lost my mind!

Never do anything to someone else's child without the parents' consent! Culture is irrelevant. The grandparents broke trust and it's on them to earn it back.

Their body. Their choice. Same with circumcision. You don't tattoo a baby or give them unnecessary plastic surgery either.

My daughter wants her ears pierced (she's 6) but we told her no, for now. My wife's family has a tradition that, when the girl turns 10, if she wants her ears pierced, they all go together and make a day of it (sort of a right of passage sort of thing). There are a few reasons for this, but the main one is that at 10, a person is old enough to understand how to properly clean and care for piercings. A baby obviously can't do that- at six months old, they barely even realize they have ears. OP is so not the AH here.

at that age, a baby's head is about 95% cartilage, that's why they have a soft spot! did the MIL even think that maybe the Mom wanted it to be a SPECIAL MOMENT IN HER LIVE? My lil sis got hers at age 13, and our mom and she went through picking out a real dia/gold set that she has to this day..... Now that lil girl has it{even if the holes grow over, they are still kinda there and they will just reput them in the hole, not "pierce" them}. . . . Also that for a BABY they should have asked for parents consent WITH BIRTH CERTIFICATE, I know this cause one of my aunts had her baby, at 12 months get her ears pierced, and they had to take the Birth Certificate to prove she was the baby mom and it was over a year old {apparently a lot of them won't do it if there younger then 1 year/12months}

I'm pretty certain that it's illegal to pierce a child's ears with out parental consent. OP should look into whether the piercer violated the law, or the gm lied to the piercer.

Your MIL is a s****y person.

Your baby was mutilated... off with their heads!

Nta, they're lucky they're not getting arrested for assault. I'd have certainly considered pressing charges.

BP these polls you've added to posts are stupid. They're not needed.

I & my middle sib both had our ears pierced at our request around age 7. We took good care of our ears & I still had issues where my earrings became embedded in my ears & had to go to the hospital to have them dug out. Twice. As a teenager I pierced my ears twice more for a total of three holes in each ear. I developed allergies to certain metals & serious sensitivity. Which really sucks because I make handmade jewelry & my favorite thing to make is earrings. Now if I wear earrings it's for special events & they come out of my ears the minute I walk through the door to my home because they become so inflamed & irritated. My baby sister is now in her 40s & has never had her ears pierced & doesn't regret that decision at all. I firmly believe this should be a decision made by the child w/their parents because their parents will have an idea of when they can teach the child to care for their ears & be responsible enough to actually do it. This set of inlaws are way out of bounds

I teach primary children. Unless you are going to clean their piercings daily, please do not pierce your child's ears until they are old enough to look after them on their own. I've seen too many not taken care of properly and had many kids complain about how their ears hurt and ask me to take their earrings out.

As a person with multiple piercings this pi$$es me off. Places like Claire's and Walmart have no idea on how to properly clean nor train people on proper procedures for piercings. Taking an infant or anyone for that matter to these places cause more harm and risk for bloodbourne illnesses to spread. Ugh if this was my niece and someone did this I'd be in jail bc someone would catch hands.

My dad's mom did this to my sister and I. Granted, we were older kids at the time and wanted to do it, it never occurred to me as a child how rude that was to my mom, but now I know.

I remember this pretty damn well. This was in the mid 90s btw. My parents forcing me 2get my ears done at 3yo.when she 1st told me I thot it would be fun but then she told me it would hurt and I would have to take care of them every single day for the rest of my life. At that point I told her no.They didn't listen though and tricked me into being okay with going into Claire's, saying we were just there for my older sister. As soon as my sis was done and all happy they told me to get in the chair. I spent at least a half an hour crying and wailing as they pinned me to the chair. The whole time the poor teenage piercer kept trying to politely tell my parents that I probably just wasn't ready while looking at me like she wished she could help. My mom kept saying you'll be glad you got them done now and that it'd be harder when I was older. & I kept wailing that I'd never want them done. I remember holding onto table legs and whatever else I could grab as they pulled me toward the chair.

First, violating the mother’s wishes seems to be a common thing these days, and I’m saying this as a boomer, so really, what is wrong with people? I watched my mother and mother in law ignore the rules their grandchild’s parents put down and I thought “they’d never have put up with this from their parents why do they think it’s okay to do it to their children?” Secondly, I saw some make the comment regarding calling the police as well as complaining against the person/place who did the piercing. As a retired U.S. police officer I’m not sure trying to make the piercing a crime (and that’s what getting police involved means) would hold up in court. The police could make the report but odds are the prosecutor would laugh at the officer who wrote it and toss it in the bin. It depends I guess on where it happened. Also, if the grandparent was willing to sneak and get the piercing done they probably also lie about who was the guardian of the child to the person piercing.

I'd beat her azz. And catch a case. Hahaha seriously, mil is a friggin lunatic. Seriously. Stop. It's not ur baby. U must get permission. She took advantage. And overstepped her position. Stay in ur lane beotch

This really hits home with me. Although it wasn't a "cultural" issue...when my daughter was 5 yrs old, my MIL at the time asked me about piercing her ears. I straight out told her that IF my daughter wanted her ears pierced, that I wanted to do it with her on her 8th birthday. Something my grandmother did with my mother and my mother did with me. About 6 months later, when I picked my daughter up from an overtime stay at Grandmas....my MiL acted all excited and told my daughter to show me the 'surprise' she had for me. And then my daughter pulled her hair back to show me two freshly pierced ears with studs in them. I...was...livid. Beyond angry. I took my daughter and immediately left. I don't think I talked to my MIL for MONTHS!! Thing is too...my daughter didn't even want them pierced!

Mom is absolutely right! I would not let these a******s be alone with the child until she's able to defend herself. Don't give a damn about your culture, it's NOT their place to make any kind of decision for a young person, especially an invasive, painful and potentially dangerous one! In otherwords, In-laws, BackThe Hell Off!!!

I'm from India, where ear piercing is done when the baby is still an infant and after 3 months. It's recommended to do it only after the baby has had their first round of vaccinations and has a stronger immunity. Also, the piercings aren't just over the counter Claire's kind of thing but at proper jewellery legacy stores that have been doing this for decades. Earlier it was done by priests at a ceremony but I guess they don't do that anymore. The first earring is always gold or silver. Either way, I have no side to this. It really is cultural and parents have the right to decide.I think its trickier to pierce the ears when a kid is tween and can give consent because they'll always remember the trauma from the pain they felt and will constantly touch their ears, not allowing it to heal well and opening a gateway for infections. Adults might fare better in this instance.

I think the person screaming that the MIL "mutilated" the baby's ears needs to chill out. Sure it's wrong to get them pierced when the parents don't agree but being hyperbolic about it is just ridiculous. Even if you've worn earrings for years if you stop wearing them there is a good chance the hole will heal over time. Unless you've stretched the hole so that the sides no longer make contact it will heal eventually and it's not like it'll leave a scar. The MIL is a horrible person though. Deliberately ignoring a parents wishes... where is that going to stop? "Oh tattoos are common in our culture, let's get the baby a tat!"

I am from a country where we have the custom to get the earlobes pierced before the baby leaves the hospital. It is fast and heals quickly. My mother refused to because nobody in my family has earlobes pierced. I wanted to wear earrings and was so jealous of other girls at school! But I must wait until i was 16 and parental consent was not required. Well, I find nothing wrong on earrings in newborns, but the whole responsibility is on parents, not on grandmother or cousins or which evil. Probably I would mould my MIL in square ball and send her on the most lost island in the middle of nowhere...

If anyone took care of my child and did anything that permanently changed her then my next phone call would be to the Police. Unless my child is in immediate medical danger then all decisions go through me and / or her Mum. I don’t care what your traditions are, I don’t care what your beliefs are, I don’t actually care how you think my parenting is tbh, if you agree to look after her then that means you won’t abuse her or my trust in you.

This is a clear example of lack of boundaries. As in many other situations in life, no means no. Whatever you feel like, whatever your culture, traditions or religion says, no means no. What granny wants is irrelevant here, because the parents said no, and that should be enough. I'm not surprised the entitled MIL has been banned from looking after the baby. I wouldn't trust her either.

I'm against piercing a baby's ears. They should be old enough to know what they are asking for and how to take care of them. I told my sister I would not watch the baby if they put holes in her ears. On her first birthday her aunt on the other side decided that was what she was going to do. She told my sister and my sister told her No, she would lose her babysitter. That the aunt would take the baby and have it done and then I wouldn't have any say in the matter. Again my sister said no and wouldn't let the other aunt let her take care of the baby alone. When we had the birthday party. The other aunt ask me would I care if she had them pierced, I explained my view and wouldn't watch the baby if she had her ears pierced. She tried to make like I was kidding about it. I said no ear or other thing pierced until the child ask for it could take care of them. My sister told her if she got the ears pierced before I said yes, then the other aunt had to be the babysitter. The baby was 10.

I got my ears pierced in 8th grade for a spring dance (that ended up canceled because COVID). I think I remember my mom low key pressuring me to get them pierced, but it was ultimately my decision (kind of, my mom pressures a lot). I do know that she never would have tolerated anyone getting my ears pierced when I was a baby, or at all with both her and my consent.

As you and your husband are the child's legal guardians this constitutes assault. I agree they are not safe to be around as they have no respect for you as parents.

For those who are saying "well, it's before they can remember the pain", whether you're talking earrings or circumcision, it doesn't mean the pain doesn't have an effect on the child. They will still carry unconscious trauma memory of that pain, and all of that gets imprinted into the brain. If the rest of the childhood is trauma-free, usually the person will be fine. But if enough other childhood traumas happen too, they'll compound upon that first one, and you'll end up with a very dysfunctional adult. "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk explains this well.

She had a right to be upset because the MIL violated her trust and went against her decision. However for the commenters saying that the MIL assaulted the baby and what she did is akin to child abuse they are being EXTRA and disingenuous. Give me a break. By saying that they are diminishing what is child abuse and assault.