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“AITAH For Bringing A Dish From My Culture To My In-Laws’ Family Reunion?”

“AITAH For Bringing A Dish From My Culture To My In-Laws’ Family Reunion?”

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Interracial marriages bring about the melding of cultures that enable beautiful, eye-opening experiences for the couple and their families. However, racism can be the ugly downside that unfortunately still exists today. 

A Chinese-American woman had to go through such an unpleasant episode during a gathering with her in-laws when she brought her cultural dish. Her mother-in-law rejected it, and her husband brushed off the incident like it was nothing. 

The woman is now rethinking her marriage based on her upset family’s suggestions. You’ll find the entire story as you scroll down, along with some outraged responses from readers. 

Racism can be one of the ugly downsides of interracial marriages

Image credits: Julias Torten und Törtchen/Pexels (not the actual photo)

A Chinese-American woman brought a dish from her culture which her mother-in-law rejected

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Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Her husband didn’t stand up for her, which made her rethink their marriage

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Image credits: anon

Interracial marriages will always be complicated

The couple in the story is part of the growing number of interracial couples in the United States. As of 2021, 19% of marriages in the country involve people from different racial backgrounds, a significant jump from the 11% from two decades prior. 

Yet, even with these supposed improvements, interracial marriages remain problematic for the couple. Couples therapist Dr. Racine Henry says it will likely always be that way because such unions are “multi-layered.”

There comes into play a lot more barriers than what a non-interracial couple will have to face,” she explained in an interview with CBS News.

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Dr. Henry used Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as an example of how prejudice remains within interracial families. During her pregnancy, Markle had been worried that their son wouldn’t be granted security and a title and that the color of his skin may be an issue.

If such a problem arises in the royal family, it can happen among normal people.

“No matter how much status or money or privilege you might have, racism is always going to find you,” Dr. Henry pointed out.

A marriage that causes distress is not worth staying in

The author was clearly distraught by her mother-in-law’s actions and her husband’s inaction. In an interview with Mind Body Green, licensed marriage and family therapist Weena Cullins, LCMF, expressed that these are good enough reasons to leave a marriage.

According to relationship coach Kim Polinder, a lack of accountability is another dealbreaker in a marriage.

“Couples get so busy defending themselves that empathy gets lost in the conversation,” she told TODAY.

In this case, the man brushed off the incident without holding his mother responsible for such disgraceful behavior. He also allowed his wife to suffer through such an embarrassing and heartbreaking ordeal.

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The author said it herself: her husband does not seem to see why the incident was a big deal. He likely won’t change, and she is already starting to doubt their relationship.

However, the racism is the biggest problem in this story. She will likely experience more of it in the future, and it would be best for her to either distance herself or go for the worst-case scenario and file for divorce. Keeping her peace must be her top priority.

Commenters rallied behind the woman and piled on her mother-in-law and husband

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Miguel Ordoñez

Miguel Ordoñez

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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Miguel Ordoñez

Miguel Ordoñez

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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Jonas Zvilius

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Jonas Zvilius

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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Lisa T
Community Member
1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that her husband let her sit in the car for an hour says it all.

Wang Zhuang
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love xiaolongbao! I bet the family would have loved it too, if they hadn't been too racist to try it. The marriage won't be successful if the husband is too cowardly to stick up for his wife.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
18 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm the whitiest white ever to white on this planet and I LOVE every kind of bao. I'm also a huge fan of things like oxtail, pig-ear cartilage, wood ear fungus, and thousand-year/century eggs. I could eat thousand-year eggs all day, actually. I friggin LOVE them. (Being adopted into a Mexican family probably helped - I grew up eating brain taquitos and tongue tacos and other delicious foods made with offal.) I could understand average white people not wanting to try thousand-year eggs or pig ears, but xiaolongbao are just steamed buns! I don't get it! Sigh - now I need to go find a dim sum place just to have some good bao XD

Load More Replies...
Kristal
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that husband is not a good one. Tolerating racism is just as bad as racism itself, sometimes worse.

Load More Comments
Lisa T
Community Member
1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that her husband let her sit in the car for an hour says it all.

Wang Zhuang
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love xiaolongbao! I bet the family would have loved it too, if they hadn't been too racist to try it. The marriage won't be successful if the husband is too cowardly to stick up for his wife.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
18 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm the whitiest white ever to white on this planet and I LOVE every kind of bao. I'm also a huge fan of things like oxtail, pig-ear cartilage, wood ear fungus, and thousand-year/century eggs. I could eat thousand-year eggs all day, actually. I friggin LOVE them. (Being adopted into a Mexican family probably helped - I grew up eating brain taquitos and tongue tacos and other delicious foods made with offal.) I could understand average white people not wanting to try thousand-year eggs or pig ears, but xiaolongbao are just steamed buns! I don't get it! Sigh - now I need to go find a dim sum place just to have some good bao XD

Load More Replies...
Kristal
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that husband is not a good one. Tolerating racism is just as bad as racism itself, sometimes worse.

Load More Comments
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