Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Homemade Chinese Food Makes MIL Lose It, Leaves DIL Crying In Her Car Whilst Family Dines
Homemade Chinese Food Makes MIL Lose It, Leaves DIL Crying In Her Car Whilst Family Dines
325

Homemade Chinese Food Makes MIL Lose It, Leaves DIL Crying In Her Car Whilst Family Dines

44

ADVERTISEMENT

Interracial marriages bring about the melding of cultures that enable beautiful, eye-opening experiences for the couple and their families. However, racism can be the ugly downside that unfortunately still exists today. 

A Chinese-American woman had to go through such an unpleasant episode during a gathering with her in-laws when she brought her cultural dish. Her mother-in-law rejected it, and her husband brushed off the incident like it was nothing. 

The woman is now rethinking her marriage based on her upset family’s suggestions. You’ll find the entire story as you scroll down, along with some outraged responses from readers. 

RELATED:

    Racism can be one of the ugly downsides of interracial marriages

    Image credits: Julias Torten und Törtchen/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    A Chinese-American woman brought a dish from her culture which her mother-in-law rejected

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Her husband didn’t stand up for her, which made her rethink their marriage

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: anon

    Interracial marriages will always be complicated

    The couple in the story is part of the growing number of interracial couples in the United States. As of 2021, 19% of marriages in the country involve people from different racial backgrounds, a significant jump from the 11% from two decades prior. 

    Yet, even with these supposed improvements, interracial marriages remain problematic for the couple. Couples therapist Dr. Racine Henry says it will likely always be that way because such unions are “multi-layered.”

    There comes into play a lot more barriers than what a non-interracial couple will have to face,” she explained in an interview with CBS News.

    Dr. Henry used Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as an example of how prejudice remains within interracial families. During her pregnancy, Markle had been worried that their son wouldn’t be granted security and a title and that the color of his skin may be an issue.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    If such a problem arises in the royal family, it can happen among normal people.

    “No matter how much status or money or privilege you might have, racism is always going to find you,” Dr. Henry pointed out.

    A marriage that causes distress is not worth staying in

    The author was clearly distraught by her mother-in-law’s actions and her husband’s inaction. In an interview with Mind Body Green, licensed marriage and family therapist Weena Cullins, LCMF, expressed that these are good enough reasons to leave a marriage.

    According to relationship coach Kim Polinder, a lack of accountability is another dealbreaker in a marriage.

    “Couples get so busy defending themselves that empathy gets lost in the conversation,” she told TODAY.

    In this case, the man brushed off the incident without holding his mother responsible for such disgraceful behavior. He also allowed his wife to suffer through such an embarrassing and heartbreaking ordeal.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The author said it herself: her husband does not seem to see why the incident was a big deal. He likely won’t change, and she is already starting to doubt their relationship.

    However, the racism is the biggest problem in this story. She will likely experience more of it in the future, and it would be best for her to either distance herself or go for the worst-case scenario and file for divorce. Keeping her peace must be her top priority.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Commenters rallied behind the woman and piled on her mother-in-law and husband

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook
    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    Read less »
    Miguel Ordoñez

    Miguel Ordoñez

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

    What do you think ?
    Lisa T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that her husband let her sit in the car for an hour says it all.

    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's exactly what bothered me as well.

    Load More Replies...
    Kristal
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, that husband is not a good one. Tolerating racism is just as bad as racism itself, sometimes worse.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Wang Zhuang
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love xiaolongbao! I bet the family would have loved it too, if they hadn't been too racist to try it. The marriage won't be successful if the husband is too cowardly to stick up for his wife.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the whitiest white ever to white on this planet and I LOVE every kind of bao. I'm also a huge fan of things like oxtail, pig-ear cartilage, wood ear fungus, and thousand-year/century eggs. I could eat thousand-year eggs all day, actually. I friggin LOVE them. (Being adopted into a Mexican family probably helped - I grew up eating brain taquitos and tongue tacos and other delicious foods made with offal.) I could understand average white people not wanting to try thousand-year eggs or pig ears, but xiaolongbao are just steamed buns! I don't get it! Sigh - now I need to go find a dim sum place just to have some good bao XD

    Load More Replies...
    Rose the Cook
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel so sorry for this woman. My elderly Chinese MIL being confronted with a real westerner for the first time in her life eagerly tried what ever I cooked. Obvoiusly, she didn't like it all just as I didn't like everything she made.The rest of the family also politely tried everything.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the way. My ex-boyfriend is Chinese (we were together for 23 years) and I tried everything his mom cooked while we were dating. I found some of my most favorite foods on the planet that way XD (mmm, thousand-year eggs....) The most (sadly) hilarious part of this post is that these particular kind of bao are usually made with pork. Nothing outlandish. I'm sure the MIL/family eat pork, so what's the issue with the bao? It's not like it's a dish made with rat testicles or something. Most Chinese dishes are made with NORMAL ingredients; sometimes the presentation isn't what white people are used to and sometimes the vegetables differ, but that's it. They cook with beef, pork, and chicken, just like white people do.

    Load More Replies...
    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isolationism mentality. We can wish away all the other cultures out there and pretend ours is the best. In the end you are standing alone naked because we are influenced and have been influenced by others since man became mobile.

    StevieLove
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should have welcomed learning about your culture. I’m embarrassed by her behavior. What kind of grandmother would she be? Could you leave your kids alone with her?

    Jayjay
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is a very important point you make here: "Could you leave your kids alone with her?", my guts tell me not!

    Load More Replies...
    N G
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The MIL is right b***h

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the husband is a right son of a bìtch in every sense of the phrase.

    Load More Replies...
    Btsquestrian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to throw the whole husband away.

    qkppyrxvfx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t think I’ve ever been more disgusted by a racist bxxxxch comment!!!

    Gabriele Alfredo Pini
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm starting dieting and just finished a small dinner, still famished. My heart is crying revenge for those poor baos! Also, parents-in-law are bastardi, and husband is a stronzo to make her wait an hour by herself in the car.

    Load More Comments
    Lisa T
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that her husband let her sit in the car for an hour says it all.

    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's exactly what bothered me as well.

    Load More Replies...
    Kristal
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, that husband is not a good one. Tolerating racism is just as bad as racism itself, sometimes worse.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Wang Zhuang
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love xiaolongbao! I bet the family would have loved it too, if they hadn't been too racist to try it. The marriage won't be successful if the husband is too cowardly to stick up for his wife.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the whitiest white ever to white on this planet and I LOVE every kind of bao. I'm also a huge fan of things like oxtail, pig-ear cartilage, wood ear fungus, and thousand-year/century eggs. I could eat thousand-year eggs all day, actually. I friggin LOVE them. (Being adopted into a Mexican family probably helped - I grew up eating brain taquitos and tongue tacos and other delicious foods made with offal.) I could understand average white people not wanting to try thousand-year eggs or pig ears, but xiaolongbao are just steamed buns! I don't get it! Sigh - now I need to go find a dim sum place just to have some good bao XD

    Load More Replies...
    Rose the Cook
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel so sorry for this woman. My elderly Chinese MIL being confronted with a real westerner for the first time in her life eagerly tried what ever I cooked. Obvoiusly, she didn't like it all just as I didn't like everything she made.The rest of the family also politely tried everything.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the way. My ex-boyfriend is Chinese (we were together for 23 years) and I tried everything his mom cooked while we were dating. I found some of my most favorite foods on the planet that way XD (mmm, thousand-year eggs....) The most (sadly) hilarious part of this post is that these particular kind of bao are usually made with pork. Nothing outlandish. I'm sure the MIL/family eat pork, so what's the issue with the bao? It's not like it's a dish made with rat testicles or something. Most Chinese dishes are made with NORMAL ingredients; sometimes the presentation isn't what white people are used to and sometimes the vegetables differ, but that's it. They cook with beef, pork, and chicken, just like white people do.

    Load More Replies...
    WonderWoman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isolationism mentality. We can wish away all the other cultures out there and pretend ours is the best. In the end you are standing alone naked because we are influenced and have been influenced by others since man became mobile.

    StevieLove
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should have welcomed learning about your culture. I’m embarrassed by her behavior. What kind of grandmother would she be? Could you leave your kids alone with her?

    Jayjay
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is a very important point you make here: "Could you leave your kids alone with her?", my guts tell me not!

    Load More Replies...
    N G
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The MIL is right b***h

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the husband is a right son of a bìtch in every sense of the phrase.

    Load More Replies...
    Btsquestrian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to throw the whole husband away.

    qkppyrxvfx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t think I’ve ever been more disgusted by a racist bxxxxch comment!!!

    Gabriele Alfredo Pini
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm starting dieting and just finished a small dinner, still famished. My heart is crying revenge for those poor baos! Also, parents-in-law are bastardi, and husband is a stronzo to make her wait an hour by herself in the car.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT