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30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner

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Maybe it's their tendency to abuse substances or rude behavior towards waiters, but red flags in a relationship are indicators that something needs to be questioned. However, our mind sometimes talks itself into disregarding what our intuition is picking up on.

So when Reddit user Loxomednurmusci asked everyone on the platform to share the biggest dating warning signs that many ignore way too often, people were quick to reply. Most adults are still skeptical of whether algorithms can predict love, so we can't neglect our social skills.

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#1

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner “My ex just left one day out of the blue. I came home and her stuff was gone”.

Ladies if you hear this, run.
Abusers know they can’t say my ex was crazy nowadays. This is the new version of it. The woman likely had to flee for safety. Her family members likely had to protect her after fleeing. There’s a reason he couldn’t find her after she left.

PMyourcatsplease , Uriel Mont/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

134points

LavenderHippoInAJar 6 months ago

Posting to cover up a negative comment. Have a great day everyone!

60points

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#2

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Cruelty to animals.

hizcherokee , Dids ./Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

132points

User# 6 6 months ago

That's not a red flag, that's an arrestable offence and an invitation to a damned good pummeling.

128points

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#3

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner If his friends are racist, sexist, homophobic, etc, but he claims he's not like them.... He is exactly like them, he just learned to hide it better.

stopwavingback , Hannah Busing/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

112points

That One 6 months ago

Not necessarily. He might just be spineless. Which is a different red flag. But still a red flag. So yeah, definitely a nope.

67points

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#4

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Insults masked as joking
“Oh that’s just his sense of humor..” No. He’s just disguising his honesty with jokes.

Varietygamer_928 , Priscilla Du Preez /Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

92points

Black Cat 6 months ago

This is a form of gaslighting. I'm not a rude, obnoxious arsehole, you just don't have a sense of humor.

68points

Little Miss Betty 6 months ago

My daughter is in a marriage like this and it breaks my heart. We’ve fallen out a few times over it and now I just have to wait for her to realise it on her own.

8points

Hannah Taylor 6 months ago

"I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

2points

John Dilligaf 6 months ago

Schrödinger's douchbag - It is either a joke or not a joke, depending on the reaction of the people around him

1point

Xenia Harley 6 months ago

I hate jokes at someone else's expense. Definite red flag! Not funny, and usually quite hurtful.

1point

KatSaidWhat 3 months ago

"You'll like [them] once you get to know [them]" - nope, now you're condoning s****y behaviour.

0points

Hodge Elmwood 6 months ago

Insults aren't "honesty", they're cruelty.

0points

Katzandra 6 months ago

My ex did this, and over time he roped my former best friend in, too. It was such a confusing and lonely time in my life...

0points

Mental Liberals 6 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Cyber 6 months ago

These are submissions on an online forum. Yes, this can absolutely be applied to any gender, but the reason one specific pronoun is used is because the submitters are talking about their dating experiences with men.

3points

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#5

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner If the other person doesn’t exhibit some level of curiosity about you. When there’s chemistry, you want to know more about the other person because you find them interesting. If you find yourself carrying the conversation, trying to learn about the other person but they show no interest in learning about you, then it’s a sure sign that there’s no compatibility. Don’t take it personally—no one can be everyone’s cup of tea and it’s better to know that from the beginning.

Ordinary-Grade-5427 , Taryn Elliott/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

91points

Sue Denham 6 months ago

Sometimes they're just more interested in themselves than anyone else.

43points

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#6

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner When they are rude to everyone but you, big red flag

BananaBurgers98 , Anna Tarazevich/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

89points

P1 No-Name 6 months ago

Or if they are rude about you to everyone..

25points

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#7

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner They unsettle you. There's a nagging instinct urging you to keep your distance, even though they appear fine on the surface. An internal conflict arises. Don't dismiss this feeling as a flaw in your character or a result of past traumas. If your intuition is screaming at you to flee, heed its warning no matter how 'alright' the other person may seem. Ignoring it will only amplify the persistent unease, making it increasingly challenging to leave the person.

No-Soup5977 , Gary Barnes/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

80points

Robin DJW 6 months ago

This. Oh, yeah. This.

23points

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#8

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner If it bothers you now, it will surely bother you later, only way worse. Lol.

Mysterious_Finger774 , Elina Sazonova/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

80points

Bear Hall 6 months ago

Nobody is perfect. I ignore little things bothering me all the time when I interact anybody. How else can we exist together but this way? If I want her as a partner it's a must to glass over her sloppiness or questionable taste of music because she's much more than these things.

27points

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#9

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Love bombing! Learn to identify it and then DON’T ignore it. It’s not love - it’s a con.

lil-ms-lila , Sangria Señorial/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

79points

Deb Johnston 6 months ago

Very short lived relationship that I was love bombed. I was a recently divorced single mom. I'm glad I wised up. The guy was a true narcissist. He's still in our friend group. He's had 3 marriages, and I have lost count on the engagements.

28points

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#10

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Not being polite to service workers.

SidheWannabe , Louis Hansel/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

78points

Hannah Taylor 6 months ago

That tells me about everything I need to know about the other person--date, friend, family, boss. If that's how they behave towards service workers, what am I worth, eh? I USED to be a service worker, and dealt with two-legged jackasses on a regular basis. With very few exceptions, I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone.

18points

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#11

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner When they can't attribute their own fault or shortcoming to a single problem they face in life. Today, it's their parents or boss. Tomorrow it will be you.

HarrysonTubman , Tim Samuel/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

69points

That One 6 months ago

"It is all Obi-Wan's fault!"

13points

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#12

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner He hadn't actually told his ex they were broken up, just that they needed to "take a break." I should have taken a break too at that point.

natebradyy , ELEVATE/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

68points

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 6 months ago

Ross and Rachael?

20points

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#13

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner If you are not on the same page with money, this leads to a lot of problems should the relationship get serious

crazycatlady111 , Karolina Grabowska/Pexels (no the actual photo) Report

Final score:

66points

Max Fox 6 months ago

This is important, and a reason to avoid a romantic relationship without either person being wrong.

18points

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#14

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner When people ignore the fact the other person dont put in effort.

It always buffles me how many people jumping through hoops while getting nothing in return...

Ben-iND , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

63points

El Dee 6 months ago

Society has, in fact, sometimes even reinforced this behaviour..

12points

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#15

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Person already being in a relationship

Like, you think this person that’s cheating on their partner will suddenly turn into a person that you can trust is some funny s**t.

Holiday-Date7201 , Clem Onojeghuo/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

62points

Headless Horseman 6 months ago

"Awww but he CHOSE ME over THAT PERSON. i must be special!!" Oh honey. There will always be someone more special to a cheater.

44points

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#16

"All of my exes are b****** or aholes." What's the common denominator here? *you*.

clampion12 Report

Final score:

59points

Tara L. 6 months ago

Also applies to friends, if they can't keep friends & they complain about all their ex friends being horrible....it's not their friends that are horrible, it's themselves.

8points

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#17

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner When they s**t talk every ex.

0Helpful-Candy0 , Miquel Parera/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

57points

That One 6 months ago

To me any s**t talk is a red flag. Not necessarily their exes.

26points

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#18

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Little care when in the wrong, never showing any accountability for basically anything.

ConsciousPriority834 , Etty Fidele/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

56points

Hannah Taylor 6 months ago

I spent five miserable years with someone just like that. One junior college class of Psychology 101, and he was Sigmund Freud. Nothing was ever his fault: the fender bender (not watching the road), losing his job (slacking off), going into debt (used credit cards like they were going to be outlawed at midnight). If I had only known early on, I would have avoided him like what you find in a stockyard.

11points

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#19

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Being TOO close to their mom.

peynbaebae , BOOM/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

55points

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 6 months ago

Norman Bates enters the chat.

17points

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#20

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Love is blind. So blind, that people are often willing to overlook small differences in values and/or needs because it might not matter much in the beginning of a relationship and see it as a "necessary compromise and love will conquer all", but oftentimes those little differences will become huge problems later in the relationship (most often when children becomes part of the equation).

U2Ursula , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

55points

C.O. Shea 6 months ago

I apply this to platonic friendship as well. It saves a lot of drama.

24points

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#21

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Constantly cancelling because their entire life is so busy. Like, on Saturday evenings?

redditslim , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

54points

Mrx Mrx 6 months ago

k. Sorry, that I'm a healthcare worker with night shifts and weekend duty.

18points

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#22

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Little white lies should be one of the higher ones in this list. You see them lie to other people or family without a second thought, even about stupid stuff. Trust me, it only gets bigger and worse as time goes on.

tacomeoow , Jonathan J. Castellon/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

53points

Kristal 6 months ago

I don't think you're using that term the correct way. A "white lie" is one to protect a person's feeling, spare them sadness, etc. A white lie is done for the feeling of someone other than yourself. Lying is about protecting the person lying. White lie does not equal small lie.

52points

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#23

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Find out your date has his own photos as phone background.. Just run!

Bogadambo , Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

52points

Tostones 6 months ago

If they don't have their cats, I am out.

23points

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#24

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner If he has a burner phone, run

ronburgundywithballs , Abdulla Al Muhairi/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

45points

Aidan Campbell 6 months ago

A burner phone is a prepaid mobile phone that is typically used for temporary or anonymous communication. It can be easily purchased without requiring identification or a contract, and can be used without providing personal information. Burner phones are often associated with maintaining privacy or anonymity, such as for temporary use in situations like travel, business, or personal security.

10points

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#25

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Their relationship history. Specifically cheating.

AlternativePrior9559 , Jeremias Ybañez/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

41points

Ace 6 months ago

Once a cheater... I'm always amazed at how many people are surprised by partners cheating, when they started out having an affair where said partner was already with somebody else. They did it to their ex, they'll do it to you.

31points

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#26

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Emotional unavailability.

Distinct-Solution-99 , Matt W Newman/Unsplash(not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

39points

User# 6 6 months ago

What does this mean?

6points

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#27

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Mistaking outer beauty for inner beauty..

_InnocentToto_ , Анна Хазова/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

39points

D. Pitbull 6 months ago

And yet we still see it sooo much... and it's supported in media, in games, etc. etc. etc... "beauty equals goodness" - a pretty girl rips off a friend or cheats on a test, she's "edgy" or... "daring" or "wow, such a rebel" - the average-looking person does the same (or less, not even)? Oh, they're PURE VILLAIN SCUM.

1point

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#28

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner A red flag that people often overlook when dating is inconsistency in communication or behavior. For example, if someone is extremely attentive and communicative one day, but then disappears or becomes distant the next without explanation, it could indicate underlying issues or mixed intentions.

cafemoto900 , Anete Lusina/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

37points

Kristal 6 months ago

... or that they just get busy. People do not have to be in constant communication, particularly at the beginning of a relationship.

28points

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#29

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Constantly asking your partner if they find random people in public or on TV attractive. In my experience, when they’re asking this, there is no right answer.

Every once in a while is one thing, but if you find yourself walking around looking at your feet all the time, there might be an issue.

Cheese_Pancakes , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

35points

El Dee 6 months ago

God, this reminds me of someone so much. I'd forgotten this..

7points

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#30

30 People Share The Dating Red Flags They Wish They’d Seen Sooner Someone who is constantly changing jobs. I don't mean they work for 6 months for one place, get a better position at another company for 1.5 years, then go to a different company. That's normal career growth.

If someone is quitting jobs every few months, even if they immediately get a new job they are not stable.

midwestarchetype , Dmitry Vechorko/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

33points

Kristal 6 months ago

Yeah, I think this is an outdated view. The younger generation is taking no c**p at the workplace and will quit. It's much more common for this pattern now

23points

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Note: this post originally had 50 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Ilona Baliūnaitė

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

What is a red flag that people typically ignore while dating?

Steve 6 months ago

They have blood on microscope slides hidden in the AC unit of their Florida apartment, and take frequent boat trips into the bay with garbage bags that are missing when they come back.

6points

Elio 6 months ago

That's oddly specific.

2points

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marianne eliza 6 months ago

1: An adult without any bank accounts. They're hiding from someone. Police, collection agencies. 2: Aggressive driving.

3points

devotedtodreams 6 months ago

About 1,5 years into our relationship, my ex ghosted me from one day to the next. Since he was my first relationship and I was terrified at the thought of being single after finally (apparently) having found love, I begged him to at least tell why. I finally received an email with an explanation, and there were some legit points in it. But everyone I knew said I should just let it go. In hindsight, I wish I had listened to them - but no, I fought for the relationship, which picked up after a month and lasted for 5,5 years total. (And I never fully trusted him ever again because of this whole ghosting business.)

2points

MrsFettesVette 6 months ago

Oof, u was in a similar situation, I look back now and wonder why I was trying so hard.

1point

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Curry on... 6 months ago

Not related, but the amount of grammatical errors through all the topics is atrocious. Doesn't BP have staff to proofread?

0points

Steve 6 months ago

They have blood on microscope slides hidden in the AC unit of their Florida apartment, and take frequent boat trips into the bay with garbage bags that are missing when they come back.

6points

Elio 6 months ago

That's oddly specific.

2points

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marianne eliza 6 months ago

1: An adult without any bank accounts. They're hiding from someone. Police, collection agencies. 2: Aggressive driving.

3points

devotedtodreams 6 months ago

About 1,5 years into our relationship, my ex ghosted me from one day to the next. Since he was my first relationship and I was terrified at the thought of being single after finally (apparently) having found love, I begged him to at least tell why. I finally received an email with an explanation, and there were some legit points in it. But everyone I knew said I should just let it go. In hindsight, I wish I had listened to them - but no, I fought for the relationship, which picked up after a month and lasted for 5,5 years total. (And I never fully trusted him ever again because of this whole ghosting business.)

2points

MrsFettesVette 6 months ago

Oof, u was in a similar situation, I look back now and wonder why I was trying so hard.

1point

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Curry on... 6 months ago

Not related, but the amount of grammatical errors through all the topics is atrocious. Doesn't BP have staff to proofread?

0points

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