All I read here was two people saying "you're not the same as us, therefore you are wrong". This is a toxic situation. I am child free by choice and all of my friends have children. I have never enjoyed the company of children either. My friends accept me for who I am, have never judged me for different choices, and can speak of a variety of subjects. They are amazing mothers, but being a mother is not their entire identity. I hope OP sees this as what it is, two toxic and entitled people, and not representative of mothers everywhere.

Get new friends. Those "B's" are not real friends. More like overgrown mean girls. I do know if I was out with "friends" who were so nasty, I would have plopped money on table and walked out, either without a word, ot telling then you feel sorry for their babies , because the women are awful and will probably be awful to their kids, too

NTA. The friends are though as they can’t be bothered to be considerate to you in any way. Why would everyone care about a strangers baby crying in a restaurant when it is unrelated to them in a personal way. Ann might be excusable but Kim isn’t. She isn’t even pregnant and is acting like you are heartless. I agree with the majority of comments. Your friends are mad weird.

I get that the friends are in places that make them more sensitive to babies crying. I've been there. However, that's *their* problem, and casting aspersions like that onto OP is just not on. I hope they come to their senses and realise how ridiculous they were being.

These 2 friends probably shouldn't be your friends if they are being this ridiculous over a stranger's baby crying. They'll be eating their own words when they have their own.

After they have kids, they too will tune out the sound of an obvious "tired cry," which is probably what was going on since OP said the mother was nearby and the baby was not in distress. Cooing like a couple of 14-year-olds over an everyday occurrence does not make them more compassionate people.

This sounds like they are POed because you will not be the babysitter they want you to be. Bullet dodged.

“Dear Kim. Make a diary date for a couple of years’ time. When that happens, re-read this exchange of texts. Get back to me when you do. Take care”.

"baby’s cries speed up reaction time in adults." Yeah. I speed out of the place where the baby is crying

Lost a few of my friends to parenthood. I find that even intelligent, creative women suddenly get baby brains when they get pregnant and it is all they can talk about for the rest of their lives (or until it leaves home?). It is intensely boring so I have no choice but to drop them as friends. I am a childfree woman and have had a fun-filled life with plenty of money and very little stress or responsibilities, I don't mind being excluded from their "club" but I feel sorry that their identities have been swallowed completely by it. I worry when the kid leaves home, these women won't know who they are. Oh and I would find a crying baby in a restaurant very annoying.

My reaction to crying kids is usually eye rolling and looking annoyed.

The AHs are the parents who didn't take the crying baby out of the dining room. Don't be those parents.

30 and child free and if I hear a random baby crying in public I really don't pay it any mind. I might mutter something to the effect of "someone's not happy" or "it only gets worse from here kid" but otherwise I ignore it. That's a stranger's kid. I have no attachment to them whatsoever, same as a stranger of any other age. They're just a random person in a public place who I'll probably never see again. Now when my "nephew" (friend's baby) cries that DOES elicit an emotional reaction in me because I know him and love and care about him so it does upset me when he cries, especially if there's no obvious (to me) cause. But whether you have no kids or 10 kids it's not heartless to not be affected by a random baby crying. That's normal and natural when you don't know someone. Also lbr, OP's so called friends would NEVER call a man heartless for that reaction or lack thereof.

Those two "friends" crossed the line from prospective parents to breeders. MOMBIES are the worst, they expect everything to be centred on them.

Gee, my answer woulda been, "Yeah, can't they get their crotch goblin to shut up?" You're a better person than me, OP.

The way I see it, the poor mother of that baby no doubt already felt bad enough about the situation without strangers on another table giving her sad looks and talking about how heartbreaking it is. She might not have been able to hear the actual words but she would have been aware of what is going on around her. As for suggesting that the OP isn't, I don't know...human?..for not abandoning eating for said child and had better be more attentive to their baby, that's just utter nonsense. You don't necessarily need all childless friends, OP, just, maybe less reactive ones. These two like to think they are superior for being/becoming mothers.

OP is NTA. Not even close. The 2 "friends" are selfish, self-centered, attention-seeking drama queens. They aren't actually "heartbroken", since anyone with an IQ above 60 and a birth year before 2015 knows that babies cry and it doesn't necessarily mean they're truly in distress. Plus, if this baby actually was in distress, the story would have reflected that. These 2 "friends" just wanted an excuse to feel special, and superior to their childless, non-pregnant friend. I'm willing to bet that these 2 are the types that will make anything their child goes through about them, not the child. I mean, here they are, at a restaurant, and another person's baby is crying, and what's their response? To talk about how THEY are "heartbroken" and to talk down to their "friend" who isn't a mother.

Good Lord! These sound like the type of people that would be the worst working in a maternity or paeds unit. "Oh you uncaring, callous person for not weeping and carrying on over an attended stranger's child". Yeah news flash to those two - many nurses and doctors can manage to care deeply about your sick (or recovering or well) child without melting down or crying continuously all shift. If we could not we would not be much use for the families or the patients needing us to keep our shiz together regardless of how bad things are so they can feel reassured, or grieve, or get upset, in peace

unless op sees a child being abused its not her problem

I admire her emotional maturity and patience with two very mediocre at best "friends" they sound exhausting and awful, hormones and jealousy or not.

I have a toddler and he cries and throws tantrums all the time. It is not something I tend to have "heart ache" for, it's more like ill pull my hair out, so I def don't feel anything towards other crying kids lol

People evolve... grow on different paths. If these people can't respect your path... walk on without them.

That baby was absolutely none of y’all’s business period. NTA

As a mom, I can empathize with the friends' existing situations (one pregnant, other one wanting to be), but this was all projecting. What did they expect OP to do? And why didn't they do anything if they were so concerned? Letting the mom handle things was the right thing to do, considering the baby didn't seem to be hurt or in danger. The only issue I take with OP is referring to the baby as "it."

The OP's friends need to set the bar lower to "doesn't b***h and moan about crying babies." It's pretty sad to exclude the OP, when she was looking forward to being an aunt. I know a mother who is delighted by her child-free friends because they like her kids. I also want to say that people can have age preferences for children. I once watched a group oooh and aaah over a placid (and to me, boring) baby. No interesting adult conversation going on, may as well build Mr. Potato Head with the charming four-year-old brother. We had fun and the mother thanked me afterwards for giving the older brother some attention.

As a childless woman myself who indeed don't want any, I'd say these are huge red flags. Firstly, you mentioned they kept talking about childbirth & pregnancy more than anything else. In all honesty they were dropping "hint bombs" for you should consider having kids too. Both knowing full well you don't want any either at all or at the moment. They aren't fully aware that not all women are required to be a host and/or mother. It's NOT a life requirement!! Secondly, them taking offense to your reaction to a complete stranger's crying baby is pathetic. It's as if they expect you to locate your maternal bone & use it since childless (cry a river). Your response is your choice & not theirs. Thirdly, to send a follow up response regarding the incident clearly shows they expect more from you. That is to be more like them & not yourself within their company. Hope you can find better friends that can accept you for who you are & don't expect you to change for their happiness. 😏

Reddit copy/paste. Cheap, low-effort filler. Probably never happened. It's the AITA Reddit posts that get the most traffic...