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Grief, anger, acceptance, art: my journey as an autism parent has been and continues to be full of winding turns and hills and valleys.

I love my son unconditionally, as the beautiful, hilarious, challenging, and charming person he is. I worry endlessly about his future, though, and there are days when it's hard for us to like each other (though the love never goes away).

To me, the greatest gift of his autism isn't his math wizardry or perfect pitch; it's the unique and poetic way he looks at the world. In my photography, I wanted to create a tribute to that perspective and the reality of our day-to-day life.

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#1

The Other You, The One Who Sees Me

The Other You, The One Who Sees Me

In this reflection image, my son is looking right at me. That's something he never does. Somehow, the barrier of the glass wall let him see me. I often sometimes think wistfully about this version of him, the one behind the glass. I love him the way he is, but I'd give anything to embrace the boy behind the barrier.

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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pusheen buttercup
pusheen buttercup
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the mother that took these beautiful pictures. I'm autistic myself, and I love photography... and when I look at these pictures. I see that your son loves you. :)

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María B. Kaiser
María B. Kaiser
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear Kate, No needs for words when images tell a story like the one in your photos. The love you feel for your son can be seen in every one of the photos you shared. Thank you. <3

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Ritsenki
Ritsenki
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The caption of this picture makes me sad. It is something autistic and so many other "special needs" children have to suffer all their life. The knowledge that their parents secretly (or not so secretly) wishes they were someone else and often would be all to happy if they vanished and were replaced by someone who was not "broken" in the way society values it. By claiming that you would "give anything" to embrace the boy behind the barrier", you are at the same time saying that he is not enough.

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Kate Miller-Wilson (Submission author)
Kate Miller-Wilson
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I certainly understand what you're saying, and I worry about that. However, as his mother, I crave the connection with him. I can't change that craving; it's part of my soul. I don't want to replace him; I want to hold him.

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Sam Tango
Sam Tango
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok.. that one got me. My son is autistic and i have the same problem.

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Edi IP
Edi IP
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

speechless.. a picture is worth a thousand words meaning

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Lisa Herrman
Lisa Herrman
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my son was diagnosed I wept. He's 17 and says autistic people are the next step in human evolution.

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Sheralyn
Sheralyn
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoa.. never thought of a reflection that way. Very thought-provoking.

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Pat Satchwill
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HE IS A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN AND THE LOVE FOR YOU IS IN HIS EYES

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eco okok
eco okok
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm impresed with all the photographys bu this one is just to powerfull in a inner sense, i don't know if there is a word for what make me feel, (even in my own language) so i can only amazing photos.

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Deana Michelle
Deana Michelle
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Autism parent"????? You're a parent with a child with autism. That's it. Not autism parent.

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A BK
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Still a r****d.

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DancingToMyself
DancingToMyself
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But it's bad to talk about yourself like that, it isn't healthy.

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#2

He Hears The Grasses Whisper

He Hears The Grasses Whisper

One of the core characteristics of autism is differences in sensory processing. The world can be overwhelming with so many sounds and sights and smells. But this can be a gift too; my son experiences the world in a way I never will.

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#3

Winter Dream

Winter Dream

I often feel like there is something separating my son and me. We can see and hear each other through this barrier, but we can't quite touch. Here, I photographed him through a sheet of ice to symbolize that experience.

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#4

Focus

Focus

One of my son's great gifts is his ability to focus completely on something. A puzzle, a musical instrument, the way the light makes colors in the clouds... He can put all of himself into what he loves, and I try to do the same in my interactions with him.

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Celental Midnight
Celental Midnight
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Beautifull!!!! I am glad that you use pictures to show that autism isn't a scary weird thing but in fact a gift!!!! I should know because I am autistic.

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#5

Head Under His Wing

Head Under His Wing

Photographing someone with autism isn't always easy, but that's because a good portrait is about emotional connection. To connect with someone on the spectrum, it helps to enter his world. Here, he's pretending to be an owl, and owls are his current area of special interest.

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Christiana Yu
Christiana Yu
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kate, you took great photos! they are perfectly beautiful. Best wishes to him and you!

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#6

In There

In There

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#7

Spectrum

Spectrum

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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Erza
Erza
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Beautiful collection of photographs. I love the title for this one.

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#8

Sleepy Morning

Sleepy Morning

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#9

School Day Sunrise

School Day Sunrise

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#10

Winter Is Here

Winter Is Here

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#11

Something Between Us

Something Between Us

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#12

Loving The Shadow You

Loving The Shadow You

Some days are very, very hard. On off days, I start the morning with my son yelling that he hates me. The truth is, sometimes I drop him off at school and try not to squeal my tires as I drive away. I feel like a failure as a mother on those days, but I also know that those are the days that prove my love for him.

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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Celental Midnight
Celental Midnight
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's hard for us autistic kids/teens. It feels like we hear only bits of what the world is telling us. There is a cloud that confuses us. The few bits that we understand in this world feels like out safety line. Have you ever thought of doing ABA services?? And you are not a failure as a mother. In fact you are one of the greatest moms with a autistic child.

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#13

Distortion

Distortion

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#14

Rough Morning

Rough Morning

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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57Academics
57Academics
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kate, your work is incredible. Your love for your son no matter what is absolutely evident.

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#15

Sidelong Pickerel Smile

Sidelong Pickerel Smile

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#16

After School

After School

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#17

You And Me, Bugaboo

You And Me, Bugaboo

My son and I have a solid but very dramatic relationship. I make him really angry with my efforts to get him to school on time or have him eat something different for dinner. But I'm there for him, even when we're mad at each other. I think, I hope, he knows that.

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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Susann Campbell
Susann Campbell
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7 years ago

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He knows but needs to be told everyday more than once. Don't hug him, let him hug you.

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#18

Tree Curl

Tree Curl

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Kate Miller-Wilson
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#19

When Everything Goes Quiet....

When Everything Goes Quiet....

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