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I make a living as a Piano Bar Entertainer or "Dueling Piano Player." All of my work has been canceled due to the pandemic. (It's about the worst setting for a virus: crowds scream-singing along to Billy Joel in your direction.) I also have a high-risk health condition which means I need to be extra careful and isolate as best I can. I live alone a thousand miles from my family. So, I'm losing my stir-crazy mind. Here are the results.
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#1
Cone Of Shame
I believe I'm the first comic artist to pit dogs against cats.
Final score:
12points
Christian Bradshaw 3 years ago
I got very sad for a second because I thought the dog was trying to drown himself
#2
Goomba
Rent is very expensive in the Mushroom Kingdom. Even Peach needs a roommate on a Princess salary.
Final score:
9points
#3
Yellow Alert
My biggest hit so far. It got to the front page of Reddit and went a little viral. I originally had the brain saying, "Bladder is at 14% capacity!" but some people took this to mean 14% capacity remaining, rather than 14% full.
Final score:
8points
Khloe Ness 3 years ago
Why does this happen? I go to bed and like 3 minutes later my brain is just like "WAKE UUP GOTTA GOOOO"
#4
Know The Difference #87
This is part of an on-going series of informative guides for easily confused things. There's a bonus panel for this one on Instagram.
Final score:
8points
#5
Eagle Eye
Did you know that eagles can undress you with their eyes from 200 yards? They just choose not to.
Final score:
8points
#6
Sales
Another one with a bonus panel on Instagram.
Final score:
8points
#7
Fun Food Facts
After committing armed robbery, broccoli would hijack a car and floret.
Final score:
7points
#8
Reboot 2020
What color do you think God's cell phone case is?
Final score:
7points
#9
With A Y
In 50 years, there's gonna be a president Keeley and vice president Breighdyn.
Final score:
7points
#10
Everybody Fess Up
I've really been struggling with purpose and productivity during the pandemic.
Final score:
6points
#11
Revenge
My only regret here is that I couldn't include more pooping.
Final score:
6points
#12
The Future Is Coming Soon
This is dumb and I'm sorry.
Final score:
6points
#13
Lost
My girlfriend came up with a bonus panel which is on Instagram. It's probably better than the main joke.
Final score:
6points
#14
Speling Is For Loosers
In the beginning, I drew people with no ears and with eyeballs wider than their heads. It made me giggle. However, I soon realized it was impossible to effectively draw anyone from behind like this, so I adjusted it.
Final score:
6points
#15
All The Veggies Are On The Run
After committing armed robbery, broccoli would hijack a car and floret.
Final score:
1point
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