I live in Ukraine and I will write to you about my personal journey. I ask you to write about how everything is going in your life.

My journey of inner struggle with myself was not a quick one. I asked myself about different things and searched for answers. But I went through this not-easy inner path to strengthen myself.

More info: Instagram

This is my story, from the perspective of a Ukrainian artist Oleksandra Malyshko

Each of us is a “warrior” (a warrior for the native land or a warrior for, sometimes it is a warrior inside a person with himself). The inner struggle with our aggression toward people, not perceiving someone else’s world, mentality, and habits is hard work. But it is necessary.

Many different things are mixed in our minds – what is happening to each of us personally, with our fellow countrymen, and in the world geopolitical arena?

Each of us is a “warrior”

Can you see how exhausted I am in this photo? Please do not worry

I am much better now. And then, indeed, my face was very distorted from anger and stress. We hardly slept day or night.

One day I was tired of being afraid

Tired of insomnia, tired of sitting at night and listening to every sound. Tired of being a human shell. I existed, but only a shell remained of me. Constant stress and fear of explosions, hatred for people who destroy my native land, my nation. How can you live with such terrible feelings? All these different “ugly” feelings towards non-humans made us living dead. Do you understand what I am talking about now?

I really feel better. When I let go of fear, I want to smile all the time…

I was thinking: what exactly can I do because I have a peaceful profession? During the war, it seemed to me that all my abilities were inapplicable. I looked around, looked into the bottomless eyes of different people who had only pain and anger that destroy a person from the inside. I did not want to exist as a shell, I understood that it is possible to defeat the civilian population psychologically quickly.

If this continues, there may be nothing left of the consciousness of a living person. People very quickly turn into wild animals. Culture, development, and spirituality disappear quickly if you do not track them in time and do not provide people with help. There was no help and I was engaged in psychological analysis myself. I analyzed everything that happened to me and what is happening psychologically to me. I was able to draw conclusions and understand that I do not want to be a beast, I do not want to be a person with the development of a Neanderthal. I started to get out in order not to degrade.

I am an artist and I am painting for you now – a bright, happy future

For a long time, I could not paint at all because of stress, then I gradually began to prepare canvases, glue, and primer. I postponed painting, for so long that I did not prepare a canvas for myself. I painted explosions and I didn’t want it at all, but whatever I planned to paint (landscape, trees, spring), there was still an explosion in the end.

Happy future of our native land, our children

But the moment of victory over myself after a long search for balance has come. I did not want to be conquered, I am alive and I am a healthy person. I got a victory over myself, found a person in myself, and now everything is different.

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