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Wife Heartbroken After Finding Out That Her Husband Of 9 Years Didn’t Really Want To Marry Her
We’ve all heard of wedding jitters, but what happens when those nerves turn into a full-on dash for the exit? Cold feet are one thing, but when they turn into a sprint away from the altar, you’re in for some serious drama. Weddings are supposed to be the happiest days of our lives, but what happens when they start with a secret escape plan?
For one Redditor, her happy marriage turned out to be built on shaky ground after learning her husband almost bailed before they even said “I do.”
More info: Reddit
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Wife donates her wedding dress and tosses her wedding photo when she finds out her husband left her on their wedding day, but was dragged back by his dad
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual photo)
The couple have been married for 9 years, but the man never told his wife that he had cold feet on their big day and actually left, until his dad drunkenly confesses it
Image credits: Dewey gallery (not the actual photo)
The woman confronts her husband about what his dad said, and he admits that he didn’t actually want to marry her, but his father forced him to
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: asu/throwra-Hat-7371
“I don’t know if my husband loves me”: the woman doesn’t want to be reminded of her pain so she gets rid of her wedding dress and photos, but her husband is hurt by it
In a shocking twist that could have come straight out of a rom-com gone wrong, this Redditor learned that her husband almost left her at the altar. Imagine spending nine blissful years thinking your wedding was a fairytale, only to find out that Prince Charming nearly ran for the hills!
According to her father-in-law (who clearly needs a filter when he’s had a few drinks), her husband had a serious case of the what-ifs and tried to escape. Eventually, he returned, thanks to some tough love from his dad and a dash of guilt, but wasn’t ready to tie the knot.
Years later, this revelation shattered what the OP once believed was the best of her life. “He didn’t want to marry me but he didn’t want to embarrass me either,” the OP recalls. And knowing this, she started re-evaluating her wedding and all her memories.
The OP loved being a bride and felt like a princess wearing a special dress on her big day. But, after her father-in-law’s confessions, she got rid of the dress, donating it to a bride who would hopefully give it a happier story.
What about the framed photo of her in all her bridal glow? Tossed like last season’s fashion. After finding this out, her husband completely shut down. But can you really blame the OP for wanting to ditch the painful reminders that her husband wanted to ditch the wedding? While it may be common to have cold feet before tying the knot, leaving your fiancée at the altar is quite another story.
Image credits: bristekjegor (not the actual photo)
You see, it’s actually pretty common, even for the most confident lovebirds, to have pre-wedding jitters before saying “I do.” However, there is a difference between just feeling nervous and having cold feet.
Experts say nerves often come from the fear of the unknown, commitment, and whether you’re making the “right” choice. But when jitters turn into full-blown escape plans, that’s usually a sign of something deeper than just cold feet.
Understanding these emotions early on is crucial because they can indicate unresolved issues that could resurface down the line—like in this unfortunate situation. So, after learning the truth, the OP’s reaction makes a lot of sense. What was once a symbol of her happiness had transformed into a haunting reminder of a marriage built on shaky ground.
And while some might think she overreacted by donating the dress and tossing the photo, it was her own way of getting back a bit of her peace and not having to face a constant reminder of her pain.
Experts note that if old wounds keep resurfacing, it might be time to reevaluate whether the relationship is still healthy. Sometimes, love just isn’t enough to save a marriage. As hard as divorce may be, it’s more difficult living with a person you feel completely disconnected from.
A negative relationship dynamic can seriously impact a person’s mental health and well-being. So, sometimes, letting go may be the right choice, especially if you have to live with the feeling that your partner doesn’t love you.
As the OP explained in a comment to her post, this is exactly what she was going through. “I don’t know if my husband loves me or if he stays out of pity or stagnation. I know that he can keep a secret for years. If my FIL hadn’t forced his hand, I think my husband would have left me at the altar,” the OP recalls. Considering how she feels, it’s no wonder she wanted to get rid of the things that reminded her of that day.
What did you think of this story? Do you think there is a future for this couple? Let us know in the comments below.
People in the comments think that the woman’s story is less about the dress and more about her marriage and advise her to have a heart-to-heart talk with her husband
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What do you think ?
Sunny Day 4 months ago
To be fair, he never said he didn't love her. He just panicked at the thought of marriage. And when he came back, he didn't want to hurt her by telling her he was backing out. He considered her feelings over his own.
Jane Doe 4 months ago
Sometimes you have to do things that hurt. She pointedly doesn't say he responded with, "I am so glad I did." or "I am so glad my dad saved me from my decision." or "yeah, I love you so much now. I didn't know I would feel this way about you. I'm happy." He just "shut down." Now is the time to consider her feelings. Tell her the truth. Either he loves her or he doesn't. Making her guess is not kind. And lying to her for 9 years is not kind. He thought it was. But it just kicked the problem down the road. And how much did he spare her feelings when EVERYONE else knew. That is the awful part. She thinks she is a fool and feels even worse.
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tw 72 4 months ago
If they have had 9 good years - he probably already figured out that LEAVING would have been the mistake and STAYING was the best outcome. His dad simply made the kid make the right choice.
GamerChick5567 4 months ago
Exactly he was probably just nervous and his friends influenced him.
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Anywhere but Here 4 months ago
I think the primary emotion at play is shame. She mentions multiple times that she feels stupid/embarrassed and how other people knew she was almost left at the altar. I understand that a sense of betrayal was the catalyst for it, but shame makes us do ugly and damaging things and it’s ultimately up to the individual to address that. It seems like her pride is hurt more than anything and that feels bad for sure, but it would be sad if pride caused her to tank a good marriage. I hope they figure it out.
Monica G 4 months ago
Without open communication there is no trust, no friendship, no intimacy.
Load More Replies... Sunny Day 4 months ago
To be fair, he never said he didn't love her. He just panicked at the thought of marriage. And when he came back, he didn't want to hurt her by telling her he was backing out. He considered her feelings over his own.
Jane Doe 4 months ago
Sometimes you have to do things that hurt. She pointedly doesn't say he responded with, "I am so glad I did." or "I am so glad my dad saved me from my decision." or "yeah, I love you so much now. I didn't know I would feel this way about you. I'm happy." He just "shut down." Now is the time to consider her feelings. Tell her the truth. Either he loves her or he doesn't. Making her guess is not kind. And lying to her for 9 years is not kind. He thought it was. But it just kicked the problem down the road. And how much did he spare her feelings when EVERYONE else knew. That is the awful part. She thinks she is a fool and feels even worse.
Load More Replies... tw 72 4 months ago
If they have had 9 good years - he probably already figured out that LEAVING would have been the mistake and STAYING was the best outcome. His dad simply made the kid make the right choice.
GamerChick5567 4 months ago
Exactly he was probably just nervous and his friends influenced him.
Load More Replies... Anywhere but Here 4 months ago
I think the primary emotion at play is shame. She mentions multiple times that she feels stupid/embarrassed and how other people knew she was almost left at the altar. I understand that a sense of betrayal was the catalyst for it, but shame makes us do ugly and damaging things and it’s ultimately up to the individual to address that. It seems like her pride is hurt more than anything and that feels bad for sure, but it would be sad if pride caused her to tank a good marriage. I hope they figure it out.
Monica G 4 months ago
Without open communication there is no trust, no friendship, no intimacy.
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