A healthy marriage is built on love, trust, communication, patience, and a willingness to compromise… But Reddit user Ok-Horror-2199 has just realized that her long-time partner wants to structure theirs primarily on real estate.

In a candid online confession, the woman said she had been expressing her desire to get married for quite some time, but he would always avoid talking about taking their relationship to the next level.

Until he learned that she wanted to buy a house. Suddenly, the prospect of a happily ever after became much clearer.

This woman thought her boyfriend wasn’t planning on marrying her

Image credits: Mizuno K/Pexels (not the actual photo)

But everything changed when she informed him that she was serious about planning to buy a house

Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ok-Horror-2199

The timelines for buying a house and dating don’t always overlap

Image credits: Alena Darmel/Pexels (not the actual photo)

It may sound banal, but the key to buying a house without putting your partner on the deed isn’t some tricky secret known only to a handful of people — it’s the same relationship advice you have probably already heard hundreds of times: talk to each other.

“Communication is key,” Lauren Kolazas, a real estate agent in Virginia, United States, told Apartment Therapy. “Even though it may seem obvious or uncomfortable to talk about, communicating about all aspects of your potential living situation is incredibly important. Who will be responsible for which expenses? Who has decision-making power when it comes to updates or changes that are made to the property? What will happen if things don’t work out?”

How you navigate these and similar questions is up to you and your partner. Some people take a casual approach to moving in together, while others draw up a formal agreement or lease that both partners sign in ink.

“If you are bringing someone house-hunting with you and you plan to live there together, then I think you should consider their feedback,” Kolazas added. “If you don’t plan to be with the person long-term or don’t want their feedback, then perhaps bringing them house-hunting with you or living together isn’t wise.”

So while the situation our Redditor has found herself in does sound like an emotionally taxing one, the woman can try to look at it this way: she may have found out that there’s simply no future for her and her boyfriend. And while breakups can be incredibly difficult, parting ways due to financial incompatibilities early on might be better than finding out about them after you endure hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of arrangements—if those are the only two options!

People who read the woman’s story understand her suspicion

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