“AITA For Divorcing My Husband Because He Spent 10 Minutes In The Car During A Family Emergency?”
Everyone has their own little weird quirks. These can range from funny and harmless, all the way to downright annoying. Dating (or being married) to someone who has uncontrollable compulsions can be a bother at the best of times, but deeply set behaviors might actually get in the way during a crisis.
A woman asked if she was wrong for wanting to divorce her husband after he refused to leave the car for 10 minutes when their son was injured. We reached out to the wife in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
All of us have some weird quirk or internal rule we stick to
Image credits: Craig Adderley / pexels (not the actual photo)
But one woman decided enough was enough when her husband sat in the car while her son was injured
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Charming_Passage3440
OCD can cause some pretty abnormal behavior
As many of the commenters noted, the husband’s behavior very closely matches the “compulsions” and intrusive thoughts that people with obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) have. In short, people with OCD often have little “rituals” they have to perform before leaving the house, or, in this case, leaving the car.
It’s also important to remember that OCD is a pretty broad term, with a whole host of symptoms. Some folks get obsessed with certain topics or actions. At times they start to develop beliefs that if they don’t do something a certain way, something bad will happen. For example, a person with OCD might believe that if they don’t put their keys in a certain place after entering the home, some unspeakable tragedy will occur.
Interestingly, many people with OCD do tend to understand that these thoughts and feelings are quite irrational. However, this man does also seem to know that his behavior is by no means normal, but is also unwilling to let it go in the face of a crisis. In general, this is the sort of thing that can be treated through therapy and, just as importantly, a desire to see it fixed. Unfortunately, as the woman shares in the comments, the husband refuses therapy and, indeed, has his family “calling her out” for not respecting his trauma.
Trauma there may be, but it’s worth asking if it actually supersedes the very real, physical trauma suffered by the son. It’s also somewhat telling that he seems incapable of seeing his wife’s point of view. Indeed, he immediately downplays his own lack of action and can’t really understand why a mother seeing her own child injured might also feel traumatized. This alone might be enough of a reason to call off the relationship.
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The mother’s actions were also questioned by many commenters
Some comments do suggest that she has some responsibility here as well. For example, asking him to come home from work when she could have just taken the suffering child to a hospital herself. Similarly, this particular habit of her husbands does seem to be something she really did think about a lot.
However, she did not take any steps to deal with it until an actual crisis happened. In her defense, however, it would appear that the man did refuse any therapy, so she is definitely not to blame for seeing a divorce. This clearly bothers her to a significant degree, so there is no use wondering if it’s an “overreaction.” His chosen lifestyle is simply not compatible with her at the end of the day. Generally, people need to be on the same page on a lot of things before marriage, which is clearly not the case here.
While her response to her son’s injury was perhaps not ideal, as she probably needed to do something beyond sit around and wait, it’s also understandable why it might be impossible for her to really “get” her husband’s actions. Despite the emergency and panic, he still has to go through this strange ritual. If she was choking or bleeding out, would he still sit there? One should be able to rely on their partner and it’s clear that this woman does not feel that way about him anymore.
Image credits: Maksim Goncharenok / pexels (not the actual photo)
A few readers wanted more details
But most sided with the woman
However, a handful saw his position
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
In this situation, I would calmly state that he really let us down in an emergency, and it is not acceptable. It is a big deal. The condition for not divorcing him would be he must attend therapy. If he is not willing to do that, then I would not be willing to continue in the marriage.
Sorry, but he gets no pass from me. He knows this about himself, he must have the brains to realise he could endanger other people with his little 'trauma'. How he justifies hurting other people this way is beyond me. I would not have married him for that reason. As someone mentioned, I also get tired of being the only adult in the room. Everybody has problems of one sort or another, you deal with them so they don't interfere with your, or other people's lives. He was an irresponsible a*s. And making it worse by trying to justify himself afterwards.
Load More Replies...WTF - a broken ankle IS an emergency - you want your kid to be in more pain for longer than necessary, YTA person? Husband total AH here - refusing therapy and allowing kid to suffer because of past trauma not even remotely related to this shituation. Nah, get out.
A closed fracture, especially of the long bones, can still get pretty ugly. That was such a dumb comment by that person.
Load More Replies...He refuses to seek therapy for his “trauma”. He’s using it as an excuse to control her. He’s useless in an emergency. He’s selfish and only cares about himself. Since he absolutely refuses to get therapy,I see no other option other than divorce. It’s completely on him.
In this situation, I would calmly state that he really let us down in an emergency, and it is not acceptable. It is a big deal. The condition for not divorcing him would be he must attend therapy. If he is not willing to do that, then I would not be willing to continue in the marriage.
Sorry, but he gets no pass from me. He knows this about himself, he must have the brains to realise he could endanger other people with his little 'trauma'. How he justifies hurting other people this way is beyond me. I would not have married him for that reason. As someone mentioned, I also get tired of being the only adult in the room. Everybody has problems of one sort or another, you deal with them so they don't interfere with your, or other people's lives. He was an irresponsible a*s. And making it worse by trying to justify himself afterwards.
Load More Replies...WTF - a broken ankle IS an emergency - you want your kid to be in more pain for longer than necessary, YTA person? Husband total AH here - refusing therapy and allowing kid to suffer because of past trauma not even remotely related to this shituation. Nah, get out.
A closed fracture, especially of the long bones, can still get pretty ugly. That was such a dumb comment by that person.
Load More Replies...He refuses to seek therapy for his “trauma”. He’s using it as an excuse to control her. He’s useless in an emergency. He’s selfish and only cares about himself. Since he absolutely refuses to get therapy,I see no other option other than divorce. It’s completely on him.
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