Anniversaries are as important as we make them. For some folks, they don’t mean all that much because they don’t need a specific day to make their partner feel special. Meanwhile, others want to make the day feel magical, so they spare no expense. But no matter what, the important thing is that both partners are on the same page.

When people’s goals misalign, however, it can lead to a lot of frustration. Or, like in the case of redditor u/Flat-Curve-3480, in tears. The woman opened up to the AITB online community about how her husband kept picking his friends over her during their anniversary. You’ll find the full story, as well as the internet’s advice, as you scroll down. Bored Panda has reached out to the author of the post via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

Couples need to be on the same page about how important anniversaries are to both of them, and how they celebrate them

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

One woman reached out to the internet for advice after her husband kept choosing his friends over her

Image credits: Marcus Herzberg / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Liza Summer  / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Flat-Curve-3480

Couples need to remember that they’re a team and supposed to be on the same side

Anniversaries are a sore topic for some couples. There’s a lot of pressure to do something creative, romantic, and fun if you know your partner places a lot of importance on celebrating that date in a meaningful and extravagant way.

After all, most of us want our special someone to feel, well, special… However, after spending a long time together, it can be incredibly hard to come up with original ideas. And if you make a huge deal out of your anniversaries, you keep raising the bar to unimaginable heights year after year.

That’s a ton of responsibility! So it’s no wonder that some folks simply feel creatively burned out. At some point, they give up and opt for something low-key and simple.

There’s nothing wrong with a low-key celebration. However, the key here is to talk with your partner about both of your expectations. The bedrock of any happy and healthy long-term relationship is communication.

It’s unreasonable to expect anyone to be able to read your mind, even when you’re married to them. If something’s genuinely bothering you, if there’s a serious issue, you need to address it. Aloud! It’s then up to your partner to listen to your perspective, take in what you’re saying, and react appropriately.

It’s usually best to openly talk about these issues before frustration and resentment set in

While some people are great at picking up subtle clues about how you’d like them to behave in the future, others are grateful for a more direct approach. So if your partner doesn’t get why you’re upset, the simplest way to solve the problem is to tell them what’s going on in your heart and mind.

Don’t accuse them. Don’t yell. Don’t turn it into a massive argument where you dredge up every single mistake they’ve made in the past. Tell them how their behavior makes you feel and what would make you happy in the future.

The odds are that your partner will have a different perspective on things. They might have interpreted things differently. Or they might not have spotted a problem that you think is absolutely massive.

Even if you think you’re in the right, it’s vital that you actively listen to their side of things. At the end of the day, what human beings really want is to connect to others, to feel loved, and to be understood. And those awkward heart-to-heart conversations are how you get there.

Coming up with ideas for anniversary plans can be quite a challenge

In the meantime, if the issue is that your partner keeps forgetting that it’s your anniversary, you may need to address this as well. If they keep finding ways to surprise you throughout the year, then it might not be that big of a deal. It’s only an issue if they keep promising to do better and don’t.

In this day and age, there’s really no excuse for forgetting important events. You can set up reminders on your digital or physical calendars, as well as set alarms on your phone.

However, if the problem is figuring out what to do or what to get your partner, you can always ask them directly!

Alternatively, if you want to surprise them, think back to what their passions and hobbies are in life, whether that’s art, traveling, fine dining, dancing, or anything else. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate plan—but it does have to show that you care!

The author shared some more information about herself in the comments

Many internet users took the woman’s side and felt like she had nothing to apologize for

However, other readers had a more nuanced take. They had a different interpretation about what happened

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