I'm trying to work out how this is anything other than torture. She did not want a home birth. She begged her husband to take her to hospital. And time and time again her concerns were ignored. This is torture.

OP needs to contact a womans shelter for a safety plan. Her husband is psychotic and will continue to abuse her. She also needs to report the doula.

Why is that doctor not pointing out to her that she is in a situation of severe domestic violence? Why has that doctor not informed the police? The husband essentially kidnapped her and denied her medical care. And she's too young and unaware to understand what happened.

Wow. I'm a bit less surprised that she was intimidated after learning that she's only 21.

Unlawful imprisonment. He wasn't letting her go where she wanted. That is illegal

Sounds like she lives in a community that is very patriarchal. He wants to control her, he doesn't care about her safety. She needs to leave ASAP and not give anyone any warning or indication that she's going out they will prevent her from leaving.

This is the most heartbreaking thing I've read for a while...childbirth is scary and incredibly painful but at no point did I ever have to feel like anyone in the room didn't prioritise mine and my babies health over and above everything. I can't even imagine how traumatic that must have been for her and I mean that in the truest sense of the word.

"If you have another baby" WTF. You need to divorce him and run immediately.

I wonder what other ways he's abusive. It won't only be this, I'd bet my life on it.

What the hell is this. NO! This makes me so angry! The man does not get to decide how the woman will give birth. I hope so bad that she finds the strength to leave.

This story needed a trigger warning because wow reading this enrages me. He is some sort of sadistic psychopath who enjoys seeing his wife in pain. I hope she divorces him and cuts all contact immediately

He is by far the abusive AH. But what about that doula?! They are meant to advocate for the mother and child. I don't know what I would have done without mine. I bet the husband specifically sought out one that would agree with him and help abuse his wife. Sick.

WTF? You should have called 911 when your husband refused to drive you to the hospital. You are in an abusive relationship with a controlling man who does not care about your feelings, your comfort, your safety, or your life. Get out, because he will browbeat you into another pregnancy, or interfere with your birthcontroll, get you pregnant again, and repeat the exact same thing. You deserve better.

Some women want a home birth, others don’t or can’t. Aside from medical issues, please be as vocal as you can: it is her body, her choice!

In the Netherlands it’s quite normal to have a home birth or a birth without an epidural, but it’s only possible because hospitals are almost always close by and the midwife (yes not the doula) are highly trained professionals. They know what to do in an emergency. My labor started at home, but halfway I wanted to go to the hospital and my wishes were respected. When it didn’t progress the Gynaecologist took over and I got an epidural. That’s completely fine. With that in mind I am totally shocked that the doula didn’t call the hospital. Why didn’t they listen to her. I hope she will divorce her husband and find someone who does prioritise her over some fantasy.

Dude is a sadist; just wanted to see her in pain.

WTH? I would have called 911. This guy is not a husband, he is control freak & torturer. How can you still be married to this selfish, sick psycho? I would pack my bags and drop off the face of the earth.

If I had given birth at home I would be dead now. LET THAT SINK IN. People still die in childbirth, even in this age of modern medicine. PLEASE do not have another baby with this man-child. What he did to you is criminal.

Do not stay with someone who wants to be right more than he wants his partner and child safe.

Divorce and RUN, problem solved.

This dude is really setting off my fight or flight, and I'm feeling fight. Not even in some wannabe White Knight way where I save the girl, I just saw the eye roll in my mind and wanted to break his orbital for my own selfish gratification. What brand of psycho is this dude?

RUN.

FYI it was discovered that this was all faked to get up votes, OP forgot to swap accounts before replying to comments and the alt account was full of BS post history. They then deleted the "update" to the story.

This comment has been deleted.

Her follow-up comments are hair-raising. Stuff like 'he's not that bad, but he just xyz...' Just awful. I messaged her the national domestic violence helpline number.

Well, that's disturbing.

There are machines to which a man can be attached to give him some semblance of labour pain. I suggest he is connected for THREE DAYS and left alone to suffer.

What the hell? Take the baby and leave this horrible person behind. No contact, no nothing.. And divorce him NOW!

Coercive control

It turned out be a fake. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1fos340/update_aita_for_faking_an_abusive_relationship/?share_id=9DaDqyAcPSMDm56nyquik&utm_content=2&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1

He is a sadist and tortured you for 3 days. This is spousal abuse and you need to leave him and take your child with you. There are hotlines to help you orchestrate your exit plan. And also you should sue for full custody, your child should not be exposed to the sadism of this horrible man…and his mother. Please leave this horrible abusive situation.

Abusive controlling horrific. Get away, he’s going to make you his prisoner - he already showed how he would control you to your potential death. He’s a monster.

When he passes a baby through his genitals he gets to talk about her being "strong." Otherwise he should STFU.

WHAT "beliefs"? I don't know of any religion where you're obliged to give birth at home. Either way this guy is a goddamn psychopath.

Doulas are NOT equipped to deliver a baby. Doulas are for support only. They cannot do dilation checks, etc. Advanced doulas can do checks and vitals but even they are not equipped to know when a homebirth should be a hospital birth. It is completely out of scope of practice. You need a midwife for a homebirth. Source: I am a doula. Also, doulas provide support in both home and hospital births. It would be rare for a doula to not only push for a homebirth, but to also be in cahoots with the partner. Doulas work for the pregnant person, no one else. I'm also confused because doulas meet with clients several times before birth. Did OP never expres that she didn't want this? I would never move forward with a client that said they didn't want my services, no matter what their partner said.

You are not in a safe place. The amount of control he had over you when YOU were going through pregnancy is very problematic. If he is that controlling over how YOU give birth then I know for a fact that he is controlling in all aspects of your life. Trust me, im a mother of one and also a survivor of an abusive relationship. Please go to a friend or trusted family member before it’s too late.

Please show your horrible f*****g husband what people are saying on here OP I'm disgusted and I would walk away. It's not love, it's controlling behaviour and he'll get worse. Please don't have another child with him. You'll probably never forgive him. I'd leave so he understands what he's done. Even if it's only for a few days. I would have phoned 911, friends and/or family! I don't understand why you didn't go to hospital.

F**k BP for politicizing this - this is abuse!