If you’ve spent any time on TikTok lately, you’ve probably come across the viral “We Listen and We Don’t Judge” trend. The idea is simple: share a funny or questionable secret with your loved ones and have a great laugh together.

It’s meant to be harmless fun, except for one Redditor, it became anything but. When she decided to join in with her husband, his shocking confession left her questioning their entire marriage.

Read the full story below.

The couple decided to take part in the viral “We Listen and We Don’t Judge” TikTok trend

Image credits: Blake Cheek / unsplash (not the actual photo)

But when the husband made his shocking confession, his wife was left questioning their entire marriage

Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ThrowRA4668765

What experts have to say about the new TikTok challenge

There are already hundreds of TikTok videos following the “We Listen and We Don’t Judge” trend, some with millions of views. And while people from all walks of life are trying it out—best friends, parents and kids, coworkers—it seems to be especially popular with couples. Perhaps it’s because it allows them to be vulnerable and see where their relationship really stands.

“Partners should feel that their relationship is a judgment-free zone where vulnerability and transparency are encouraged,” says Genesis Games, LMFT, a relationship counselor, in a conversation with Well+Good. “However, creating such a culture goes far beyond a viral trend. It requires consistent efforts to show respect, admiration, acceptance, and genuine curiosity toward one another.”

Many of the confessions are playful, hilarious, and undeniably entertaining. But some are real tearjerkers or outright shocking, like the one shared in the Reddit story. “Watching, I could feel the small heart breaks that went down with the ‘truth’ being delivered,” says therapist Joy Berkheimer, LMFT, PhD, and chief sexologist at the sexual wellness platform SXWA.

This means that when serious matters are aired publicly for everyone to see, the label “we don’t judge” can easily become an excuse to dodge accountability. Which in turn, could create significant trust issues and harm the relationship.

That said, if handled carefully, it can also open the door to more meaningful conversations with your partner.

“I think this trend has potential as a way to increase truth-telling in relationships,” notes Jenn Gunsaullus, PhD, a sexologist and relationship expert. “Sharing small secrets in a ‘public confessional’ setting like TikTok might be productive for getting out minor things that have been hidden, especially if it’s done with humor and mutual respect.”

“‘We listen and we don’t judge’ could become part of a couple’s everyday language, creating more opportunities for honesty and less defensiveness,” she adds.

The most important takeaway is not to stop the discussion after one attempt at opening up. Instead, use it as an opportunity to address fears, hurt feelings, worries, and needs, and to work on improving communication and building healthier habits together.

Image credits: Gabriel Ponton / unsplash (not the actual photo)

The woman shared when they first started dating, sparking concerns from readers about their age gap

They were also horrified by the husband’s “prank” and urged her to consider leaving him

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