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Wife Promises She Will Never Bake Again After Husband’s Tantrum On His And Her Birthday
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Wife Promises She Will Never Bake Again After Husband’s Tantrum On His And Her Birthday

Interview Wife Promises She Will Never Bake Again After Husband's Tantrum On His And Her BirthdayHusband Embarrasses Wife In Front Of Everyone At His B-Day, She Promises To Never Bake AgainWoman Bakes Banana Cake For Husband’s Birthday, He Publicly Humiliates HerHusband Embarrasses Wife In Front Of Everyone At His B-Day After She Baked Him A Cake“The Hill Your Marriage Should Die On”: Husband Gaslights Wife After She Makes Him A CakeWife Refuses To Ever Bake For Husband Again After His Reaction To B-Day CakeMan Scolds Wife In Front Of Everyone For Baking Him A B-Day Cake, Doesn’t Get Why She’s UpsetHusband Tells Off Wife For Baking Him A Cake For His B-Day, She's Left Feeling HurtMan Upset Wife Won’t Bake Him Anything After Publicly Humiliating Her For Baking Him A CakeWoman Bakes Banana Cake For Husband’s Birthday, He Throws A Tantrum
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Acts of service don’t have to be your main love language for you to enjoy making your partner’s day by doing something special. It also doesn’t have to be excessive to be special, as a breakfast brought to bed or a handmade Christmas gift can mean more than the most expensive of items.

This redditor decided to surprise her husband with his favorite cake on his birthday, which she made bearing in mind his dietary restrictions, so he could enjoy it with the guests. However, her spouse didn’t react in the way she probably hoped for. Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with the OP herself, as well as with a clinical psychologist and mental health advocate, Dr. Monica Vermani, who were kind enough to answer a few of our questions.

This woman made a cake for her husband’s birthday, but he wasn’t too appreciative of the gesture

Image credits: Yulia Ilina/Pexels (not the actual photo)

“AITA I told him I would never again bake him something”

“My husband is lactose intolerant but he likes banana cake.

For his birthday, I baked a two layer banana cake and made the recipe of a vegan frosting and a vegan toffee sauce that was really good!

When we were going to sing the usual Happy Birthday song, he stood up and was walking over the cake table while I was saying that I had baked a banana cake for him with vegan frosting and sauce.

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His answer, in front of everyone, was that he didn’t know why I had baked him some cake if I already knew he didn’t like them because he has not eaten in so many years that he doesn’t even like it anymore.

I felt hurt and didn’t say a thing there. I thought that he would appreciate me baking a cake for his birthday because that’s what his mom used to do when he was a kid and he always makes a comment about me not baking the kids’ cakes.

Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Every time I go to the local bakery, I get him a banana cake and he eats it and says how much he likes it.

The rest of the celebration, I was trying to act normal, but he noticed and when everyone left, he asked if I was ok. I said I was never going to bake him something. His answer was, thank you and that I was being unfair with him because I should have already know.

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Worst of all of this was that, my birthday is the same day as his. So I baked another cake for me because I wanted a chocolate cake, but this is just venting.

AITA?”

Edit: you can search for recipebyrosie in TikTok, Instagram and web page for the recipes :) since a lot of you are asking for it.

Credits: Status_pokerface

Image credits: ANTONI SHKRABA production/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Surprises can make the people we cherish feel loved

When you love someone, you want to see them smile. You want them to know just how much you appreciate them, how much you like spending time together, and how loved they make you feel. That’s arguably why most people want to make their partners feel equally as loved, and they often do by surprising them with something special.

But the ‘something special’ doesn’t necessarily have to be something grand or expensive; nor does it have to be on a special occasion. Little surprises, such as making their favorite meal for dinner or putting a chocolate they love into their bag before they head out to work, can significantly improve their day and make them feel loved. While it sounds like—and probably is—a cliché, it is indeed the thought that matters the most. (Or at least that is how I console myself after more than one dessert going wrong when trying to do something nice for my loved ones.)

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In addition to making someone else’s day, the person responsible for arranging the surprise themselves might get a kick out of it, too. A poll of 2,000 Brits found that one-in-four of them tends to have “a spring in their step” for the remainder of the day after surprising someone, The Mirror reports. A third of respondents said surprising others boosts their mood.

Moreover, a similar number of people—roughly one-in-three of them—shared that they prefer giving gifts and surprises rather than receiving them. If you were wondering – close to half of surveyed individuals—46%, to be exact—said they prefer little surprises over grand gestures.

The husband not appreciating the time and the effort the woman put in is what upset her the most

It’s pretty safe to assume that receiving a homemade cake on your birthday is a surprise that many people would appreciate. That is arguably why the OP decided to make one for her husband, but it ended up upsetting her on both of their birthdays. “What saddened me was the lack of appreciation of the time invested – I had to make time for searching for a lactose-free recipe, bake the day before and finally put it together with the frosting and the toffee sauce the day of,” the redditor told Bored Panda in a recent interview.

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“I’m not a bad cook and he usually is very appreciative of the recipes I make. If there’s something he doesn’t like, he tells me after the second or third time,” she shared, adding that her husband is usually very vocal about things. “Everybody knows he is lactose intolerant, so he said it as a comment; however, this time, the comment hurt because I was sure he was going to appreciate the effort. Even if he had said it just to me, I would have been hurt.”

According to a clinical psychologist and mental health advocate, Dr. Monica Vermani, such lack of appreciation is indicative of a lack of respect and compassion on the husband’s part. “An act such as this can do tremendous harm, and cause a serious damaging ripple effect. In this situation, the husband’s willingness and intention to belittle a partner in a social setting negatively impacts his wife’s ability to trust, and trust is foundational to a loving relationship,” the expert told Bored Panda.

“What’s more, the lack of kindness demonstrated by the husband in this situation has not only an immediate, but also, a lasting impact on his wife’s level of happiness,” Dr. Vermani added. “A marriage license is not a license to treat another person with callous disregard, to belittle them, to criticize them, invalidate their feelings, or negate their acts of kindness. Treating a spouse with kindness, compassion, and consideration are foundational to sustaining a mutually respectful, mutually supportive, and loving relationship.”

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Image credits: Anna Pou/Pexels (not the actual photo)

It’s important to show appreciation when in a relationship

Whether big or small, gestures are arguably especially important when in a romantic relationship. But what might be even more crucial is showing appreciation to your partner. A study of enormous proportions, carried out by Samantha Joel and Paul Eastwick and based on data from more than 11,000 couples, found that appreciation was one of the top five things that mattered the most when it came to relationship satisfaction.

It’s not difficult to see why – feeling appreciated makes people feel seen and provides them with the mood boost that the third of people reportedly feel when giving gifts and surprising others; while being taken for granted is usually demotivating at best.

According to Dr. Vermani, there is a time and a place for everything and it’s important that we are kind, compassionate, and respectful when conveying concerns and criticism.

“The golden rule applies in this situation! What if the roles were reversed? The husband would certainly feel the intentional and deliberate hurt and harm had his wife behaved in the way he had,” the expert suggested.

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“There is another element in play here, and one that we should all bear in mind when offering criticism. This element is negative bias. Think about an example where everyone — with the exception of one person — had good things to say about your presentation, performance, or dinner party. Chances are the comment you will remember long after the compliments fade is the negative comment from the person who found fault in your efforts,” Dr. Vermani noted. “Long after that birthday party is over, and the husband has (I would hope) seen the error of his ways and apologized to his wife, she will remember in sharp detail his thoughtless, unkind, and cruel remarks.”

According to the OP herself, when a partner shows appreciation, a person feels valued and supported and loved. “It encourages them to keep on doing small acts for the other, while now I am not going to bake anything sweet for him again,” the woman told Bored Panda.

Even though her husband didn’t thank her for making the cake, he is usually attentive and appreciative of what the OP does for him and the family. “He gives me really nice presents out of nowhere and on special occasions to show his appreciation of all the things we moms do,” the redditor shared.

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Research suggests that perceived gratitude in a romantic relationship can have stress-buffering effects

Allen W. Barton, a professor of human development and family studies and an Extension specialist at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, who spent 15 months analyzing the roles that perceived and expressed gratitude play in romantic relationships, pointed out that prior research mostly focused on the significance of expressing gratitude, but the other side of the coin—feeling appreciated—is important, too.

“Our main hypothesis was that perceived gratitude from one’s partner would have what we call stress-buffering effects,” Barton told the university’s News Bureau, before revealing that the hypothesis was proven to be true – the research found that higher levels of perceived gratitude worked as buffers against common stressors in a relationship such as financial strain and ineffective arguing. Consequently, that resulted in couples not exhibiting “as strong of declines in relationship satisfaction or confidence, or the increases in instability that we typically see” [under such circumstances], Barton said.

In the comments under her post, the OP revealed that hearing her husband say “I appreciate the effort” would have made the situation way better; even if he didn’t actually like home-made banana cake, saying that he appreciated the gesture could have arguably had the said stress-buffering effect. But despite the woman’s spouse taking a different approach, the couple seems to have worked things out:

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“We already spoke about this – even though he didn’t thank me, he apologized,” the OP shared, adding that a harmonious atmosphere is felt around the house now. “We have to learn to choose our fights and see beyond,” she said. “He tries to speak my love language even when it is not his. I know he tries and I appreciate that.”

The woman provided more details in the comments

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Many people supported the woman, they didn’t think she was in the wrong for hoping that her efforts were appreciated

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Some, however, believed that making something yourself doesn’t entitle you to others liking it

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Miglė Miliūtė

Miglė Miliūtė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

Read less »
Miglė Miliūtė

Miglė Miliūtė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

Jonas Zvilius

Jonas Zvilius

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Jonas Zvilius

Jonas Zvilius

Author, BoredPanda staff

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Aboredpanda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man eats banana-cake whenever partner buys it. Seems to enjoy a lot every time. She bakes him one and he then refuses to eat infront of everyone, saying he hasn't eaten that in years and doesn't like. Factually untrue, and also incredibly tactless and rude. People then somehow not understanding why she's upset that he's lying to her face.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Using the term gaslighting whenever someone has misrepresented themselves does a serious disservice to people who have been gaslit as a form of abuse. BP, it is irresponsible. Use the right words, you're stealing the story already, make sure you have an accurate head line.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a guy like this. He LOVES certain foods....inhales them, eats them every chance he gets ...BUT is incredibly fussy/picky too. (Ex says to everyone that he LOVES donuts, but if anyone brings him some ..he doesn't like the kind with fruit filling or flavor, doesn't like sprinkles, doesn't like if the chocolate topping cracks and falls off when biting, doesn't like if the chocolate it "too gooey")... basically, SAYS he loves all kinds but then dislikes most you give him. As a gift giver, you're left disappointed. Same with other foods. Says he LOVES something...but only a certain brand, flavor, size, texture ...makes it very difficult to pick something up for him. There's always something "wrong" with it. So ...I make him get his own now. I feel bad but he's happy.

BeesEelsAndPups
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sure he's a wonderful man in other aspects of his life, but this post makes him sound like an entitled jerk. The only correct response to a gift is gratitude. Even if it's something you cannot eat, you are grateful and regret that you cannot enjoy it. Gratitude is the key to enjoying our life, and to showing others that we appreciate their efforts on our behalf

Load More Replies...
LB
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get what the gaslighting is here

Disgruntled Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please stop using the word gaslightling for any situatuon where someone is being misled. It really diminishes the experience of people who've had to suffer through actual gaslighting

Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is that the other things that get labeled gaslighting are generally ALSO mentally abusive behaviors. As someone who has experienced those forms of abuse I'm very grateful that we have a term for them, as well! Maybe we need a new one for the wider range of meanings so we can leave "gaslighting" to its more specific, original meaning?

Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband lacks basic manners. If someone makes you a birthday cake, you thank them and at least pretend to eat it, even if you hate it. But it sounds like your husband was spoiling for a fight and yes, he was gaslighting you. He was manipulating you into questioning your own version of reality. You know he likes banana cake as he has enjoyed it many times but he is now saying he hates it and you are inconsiderate for not knowing that. This equals gaslighting. Your marriage is in serious trouble.

Captain Grump
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Bored Panda Marriage Hotline, how can I help you?" "My wife makes annoying sounds when she eats popcorn, and didn't take out the garbage when she promised to." "We can only advise immediate divorce in such egregious cases. Thank you and have a good day."

Load More Replies...
Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like hubby is a narcissist (I know, my explanation for every AH lol) and doesn't like that he has to share a party with his wife. He felt that his wife was going to get too much attention from the partygoers for having baked a good cake, so he reflexively had to publicly take her down a notch. One of the good ways to tell if you're dealing with a narcissist in your immediate family is if you feel like you've never had a happy birthday ever, because narcissists generally try to find some way to subtly ruin your bday because they don't like you having that much attention. (I recommend the book The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza. It was EYE-OPENING.)

Cerise Hood
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she went out of her way to make a cake, and the husband decides to bash her for it, and doubles down. How would she know when he has repeatedly confirmed he likes banana cake?

Lyoness
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never understand why people can't recognise the effort and love that goes into a homemade gift, even if they don't like the gift itself. How hard is it to say "Thank you. I know you put a lot of work into this." He didn't have to eat the cake, but he should have thanked her for making something she thought he would like. And the part about not liking the gift is a conversation you have in private and with sensitivity.

P.L. Packer
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I must be the only one who found this story confusing. I hate banana cake, so I wouldn't eat hers or the bakery's......

Layla Layla
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is divorce material because this is symptomatic of a deeper meaner attitude

tori Ohno
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wants out, but doesn't want to be the bad guy by filing for divorce first. So he starts attacking in order to drive her away. There's going to be more. He hates banana cake, why would he eat them from the bakery? Why would he humiliate her and make her look stupid and cruel in front of everyone? He's just going to get worse.

Sue Gendron
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even an 8-yr-old has the manners to at least politely thank someone for a gift.

Sera
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom is not a baker, but when I lived in the area she made an effort to bake me something I liked, homemade especially for my birthday. The year she tried red velvet was an unmitigated disaster of very dry cake and very lumpy frosting. You know what I did? I ate some of it anyway and thanked her for doing her best out of love for me. Because that's how decent people act when someone has done something for them. It's not that hard.

Mark Childers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. He lashed out at you in a way that humiliated you. Either he was having an extraordinarily bad day and took it out on you, ON your birthday and AFTER you had baked him his favorite cate (that story was BS and contradictory) as well as your own) or he's guilty of something or really angry at you for something. Now he's denying it was anything more than to correct you about his preferences. Something's going on. Don't stop until you figure out what it is.

Gary
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus H corbett what bottom of the barrel rubbish is this, husband does not like carrot cake boo hoo lets have an enormous thread on it.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

He should have been kinder, you shouldn't take not wanting cake so personally. When you surprise someone with food, especially in front of others and when food is an emotional topic as it clearly is for both of you, you have to be ready for it not to be appreciated. Like any surprise. A brief snapshot in the marriage sounds like you don't communicate well generally, and are rude and sulky with each other. Work on that, the cake won't be an issue.

Captain Grump
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh FFS. When someone bakes you a cake FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY you thank them, profusely, for their thoughtfulness and effort. Dude eats banana cakes from the bakery - so it's not like she made something he's allergic to or anything like that. It's a birthday cake, not an entire dinner - have a tiny slice and move on with your day. Yeesh. It like we were taught as kids: even when Grandma gives you an ugly sweater for Christmas, you smile and thank her. And you d*mn well wear it next time you visit her.

Load More Replies...
Aboredpanda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man eats banana-cake whenever partner buys it. Seems to enjoy a lot every time. She bakes him one and he then refuses to eat infront of everyone, saying he hasn't eaten that in years and doesn't like. Factually untrue, and also incredibly tactless and rude. People then somehow not understanding why she's upset that he's lying to her face.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Using the term gaslighting whenever someone has misrepresented themselves does a serious disservice to people who have been gaslit as a form of abuse. BP, it is irresponsible. Use the right words, you're stealing the story already, make sure you have an accurate head line.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a guy like this. He LOVES certain foods....inhales them, eats them every chance he gets ...BUT is incredibly fussy/picky too. (Ex says to everyone that he LOVES donuts, but if anyone brings him some ..he doesn't like the kind with fruit filling or flavor, doesn't like sprinkles, doesn't like if the chocolate topping cracks and falls off when biting, doesn't like if the chocolate it "too gooey")... basically, SAYS he loves all kinds but then dislikes most you give him. As a gift giver, you're left disappointed. Same with other foods. Says he LOVES something...but only a certain brand, flavor, size, texture ...makes it very difficult to pick something up for him. There's always something "wrong" with it. So ...I make him get his own now. I feel bad but he's happy.

BeesEelsAndPups
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sure he's a wonderful man in other aspects of his life, but this post makes him sound like an entitled jerk. The only correct response to a gift is gratitude. Even if it's something you cannot eat, you are grateful and regret that you cannot enjoy it. Gratitude is the key to enjoying our life, and to showing others that we appreciate their efforts on our behalf

Load More Replies...
LB
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get what the gaslighting is here

Disgruntled Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please stop using the word gaslightling for any situatuon where someone is being misled. It really diminishes the experience of people who've had to suffer through actual gaslighting

Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is that the other things that get labeled gaslighting are generally ALSO mentally abusive behaviors. As someone who has experienced those forms of abuse I'm very grateful that we have a term for them, as well! Maybe we need a new one for the wider range of meanings so we can leave "gaslighting" to its more specific, original meaning?

Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband lacks basic manners. If someone makes you a birthday cake, you thank them and at least pretend to eat it, even if you hate it. But it sounds like your husband was spoiling for a fight and yes, he was gaslighting you. He was manipulating you into questioning your own version of reality. You know he likes banana cake as he has enjoyed it many times but he is now saying he hates it and you are inconsiderate for not knowing that. This equals gaslighting. Your marriage is in serious trouble.

Captain Grump
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Bored Panda Marriage Hotline, how can I help you?" "My wife makes annoying sounds when she eats popcorn, and didn't take out the garbage when she promised to." "We can only advise immediate divorce in such egregious cases. Thank you and have a good day."

Load More Replies...
Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like hubby is a narcissist (I know, my explanation for every AH lol) and doesn't like that he has to share a party with his wife. He felt that his wife was going to get too much attention from the partygoers for having baked a good cake, so he reflexively had to publicly take her down a notch. One of the good ways to tell if you're dealing with a narcissist in your immediate family is if you feel like you've never had a happy birthday ever, because narcissists generally try to find some way to subtly ruin your bday because they don't like you having that much attention. (I recommend the book The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza. It was EYE-OPENING.)

Cerise Hood
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she went out of her way to make a cake, and the husband decides to bash her for it, and doubles down. How would she know when he has repeatedly confirmed he likes banana cake?

Lyoness
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never understand why people can't recognise the effort and love that goes into a homemade gift, even if they don't like the gift itself. How hard is it to say "Thank you. I know you put a lot of work into this." He didn't have to eat the cake, but he should have thanked her for making something she thought he would like. And the part about not liking the gift is a conversation you have in private and with sensitivity.

P.L. Packer
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I must be the only one who found this story confusing. I hate banana cake, so I wouldn't eat hers or the bakery's......

Layla Layla
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is divorce material because this is symptomatic of a deeper meaner attitude

tori Ohno
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wants out, but doesn't want to be the bad guy by filing for divorce first. So he starts attacking in order to drive her away. There's going to be more. He hates banana cake, why would he eat them from the bakery? Why would he humiliate her and make her look stupid and cruel in front of everyone? He's just going to get worse.

Sue Gendron
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even an 8-yr-old has the manners to at least politely thank someone for a gift.

Sera
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom is not a baker, but when I lived in the area she made an effort to bake me something I liked, homemade especially for my birthday. The year she tried red velvet was an unmitigated disaster of very dry cake and very lumpy frosting. You know what I did? I ate some of it anyway and thanked her for doing her best out of love for me. Because that's how decent people act when someone has done something for them. It's not that hard.

Mark Childers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. He lashed out at you in a way that humiliated you. Either he was having an extraordinarily bad day and took it out on you, ON your birthday and AFTER you had baked him his favorite cate (that story was BS and contradictory) as well as your own) or he's guilty of something or really angry at you for something. Now he's denying it was anything more than to correct you about his preferences. Something's going on. Don't stop until you figure out what it is.

Gary
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus H corbett what bottom of the barrel rubbish is this, husband does not like carrot cake boo hoo lets have an enormous thread on it.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

He should have been kinder, you shouldn't take not wanting cake so personally. When you surprise someone with food, especially in front of others and when food is an emotional topic as it clearly is for both of you, you have to be ready for it not to be appreciated. Like any surprise. A brief snapshot in the marriage sounds like you don't communicate well generally, and are rude and sulky with each other. Work on that, the cake won't be an issue.

Captain Grump
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh FFS. When someone bakes you a cake FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY you thank them, profusely, for their thoughtfulness and effort. Dude eats banana cakes from the bakery - so it's not like she made something he's allergic to or anything like that. It's a birthday cake, not an entire dinner - have a tiny slice and move on with your day. Yeesh. It like we were taught as kids: even when Grandma gives you an ugly sweater for Christmas, you smile and thank her. And you d*mn well wear it next time you visit her.

Load More Replies...
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