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Clueless Husband Makes Wife Cry On Mother’s Day: “You Aren’t My Mother”
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Clueless Husband Makes Wife Cry On Mother’s Day: “You Aren’t My Mother”

Interview With Expert
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Mother’s Day celebrations look different for every family, depending on the wants and likes of the honoree. Some look forward to having a meal out with their loved ones, while others love receiving flowers or something handmade by the giver.

This mom of 6 wasn’t expecting much, just some appreciation and perhaps a card from her husband. However, she didn’t even get a “Happy Mother’s Day” from him, leaving her feeling disappointed and taken for granted on one of the most special days.

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with relationship and communication expert Chloe Ballatore and relationship coach and therapist John Kenny, who kindly agreed to tell us more about husbands’ roles on Mother’s Day.

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    Mother’s Day celebrations look different for every family

    Image credits: Ijaz Rafi (not the actual image)

    However, for this family, it brought disappointment and a feeling of underappreciation

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    Image credits: vadymvdrobot (not the actual image)

    Image credits: InnaVlasova (not the actual image)

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    Image credits: TangerinePast7416 

    Mother’s Day should celebrate all moms, not just ours

    It’s customary for children to prepare gifts and express their gratitude for their mothers on such a special occasion. But what about the husbands? Should they extend their token of appreciation to their wives, even though some argue it’s “Mother’s Day” and not “The Mother of My Children’s Day”?

    While this statement is true, Mother’s Day holds deeper significance for women than just celebrating their motherly role. This occasion gives husbands the opportunity to express their recognition and gratitude for their constant dedication to the family.

    Relationship and communication expert Chloe Ballatore tells Bored Panda that it’s the husband’s role to oversee the celebration. “He doesn’t have to give a gift, but he might want to make sure the day is special for his wife by organizing the children, making sure they give her gifts, and ensuring she has a peaceful day. This means doing some extra chores, asking what she wants for dinner, and maybe even scheduling a massage for her.”

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    Relationship coach and therapist John Kenny believes that this comes down to knowing the partner and what would mean the most to them. However, putting in some effort and helping children to ensure that they don’t forget to show their appreciation in some way is plausible.  “If they are old enough, then it will depend on the nature of the relationship, but I guess even saying how you feel about their mothering skills is a positive thing to do,” he notes. “As a whole, everyone likes to be acknowledged that they are doing a good job at being a parent.”

    Therefore, we can all agree that Mother’s Day should celebrate all moms, not just ours. As a consequence, according to Ballatore, one of the most significant mistakes a husband can make is to overlook this occasion entirely. “This could have repercussions on the relationship as a whole. Many people are emotional on the holidays and look at them as a bellwether of the relationship,” she says. 

    “Forgetting” or overall neglecting this celebration can make your significant other feel unappreciated for their role as a mother and life partner. This can be easily avoided by setting reminders in advance on your digital calendar or phone application. 

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    Knowing what your partner wants or likes can really help in choosing how to express your gratitude for them. Taking note of her interests, hobbies, and preferences and including them in your special day plans can really show that you care and appreciate them. This means that personalization is key, and generic or impersonal gifts are not going to “slide.” 

    The number one thing that mothers want on such an occasion is a meal out

    If you’re a husband who’s still unsure, a survey of 500 American mothers has found that the number one thing that mothers want on such an occasion is a meal out. It was followed by flowers, a handmade present, a gift card, and a greeting card. Beauty products, clothing, and vacations appear at the bottom of the list.

    When it comes to how mothers would like to spend the day, 60% prefer to bond with their children, while 31% prefer to do so with their own mother and family, and 20% said they would enjoy some alone time. 

    Meanwhile, Ballatore advises doing something that will make the wife feel good. “Understand that it might be an emotional day for her and support that. Make sure the kids are also supportive, and if they’re too young for that, try to support the mother in caring for the kids or even give the mom a break for the day.”

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    She notes, “Sometimes grandmas get in the way of Mother’s Day. Don’t let your mom or her mom take over the day and deprive your SO of a celebration.”

    Kenny believes that there’s also nothing wrong with asking beforehand what the wife would prefer on such an occasion. “What would they like to do for Mother’s Day? How would they like to celebrate? What would mean something to them?

    If you don’t take the time to find out these things about each other, be mindful of them when the time comes, and put things into practice, then you will find you have created an issue for your relationship. Unless they expect something huge (and in that case, I would check to see if they have their priorities in place), putting what they want first on these types of occasions can never go amiss.”

    He signs off by saying, “Be mindful of what makes each other happy as much as you can and act on this when possible (and I don’t mean be a people pleaser as this is something very different). Make sure that if the most important thing to your partner is that you acknowledge what they do, then do it, and if it is the kids, then make sure they do it too.”

    The author provided more information in the comments

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    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

    Read less »
    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

    Dominyka

    Dominyka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.

    Read less »

    Dominyka

    Dominyka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.

    What do you think ?
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    Alexandra
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not quite about Mother's Day, is it? If you look at the last two sentences of OP's post, you will see that OP's husband blames her for feeling the way she does because it upsets HIM. OP's husband only does what HE wants to do and doesn't care about his wife's feelings.

    Debbie
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And she does all the mental load. He IS her child in that sense.

    Load More Replies...
    MonsterMum
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that maybe Mother's day is more of a big deal in the US? I'm in the UK, I have four kids and don't really care about it. I feel these days (mother's, Valentines etc) are largely about consumerism, encouraging us to buy unnecessary c**p. I know my kids appreciate me and my mum knows I appreciate her.

    Julie S
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from the UK and I think Mothers day is a big deal. I always buy things for my mum and make sure she doesn't have to cook, either taking her out to dinner or getting a takeaway.

    Load More Replies...
    The Big Bad
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually get breakfast in bed and drawings from the kids. This is perfect for me. Last year my stepson was with us just before mothers day. When my husband was going to bring him back, I told him to get something for his son to give his mom. They bought her flowers. I think it's normal to celebrate the woman/women who care for your child, or help your kids to do so. It's not about consumerism for me, more about taking a moment to think about the efforts of someone for your kids.

    Load More Comments
    Alexandra
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not quite about Mother's Day, is it? If you look at the last two sentences of OP's post, you will see that OP's husband blames her for feeling the way she does because it upsets HIM. OP's husband only does what HE wants to do and doesn't care about his wife's feelings.

    Debbie
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And she does all the mental load. He IS her child in that sense.

    Load More Replies...
    MonsterMum
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that maybe Mother's day is more of a big deal in the US? I'm in the UK, I have four kids and don't really care about it. I feel these days (mother's, Valentines etc) are largely about consumerism, encouraging us to buy unnecessary c**p. I know my kids appreciate me and my mum knows I appreciate her.

    Julie S
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from the UK and I think Mothers day is a big deal. I always buy things for my mum and make sure she doesn't have to cook, either taking her out to dinner or getting a takeaway.

    Load More Replies...
    The Big Bad
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually get breakfast in bed and drawings from the kids. This is perfect for me. Last year my stepson was with us just before mothers day. When my husband was going to bring him back, I told him to get something for his son to give his mom. They bought her flowers. I think it's normal to celebrate the woman/women who care for your child, or help your kids to do so. It's not about consumerism for me, more about taking a moment to think about the efforts of someone for your kids.

    Load More Comments
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