“AITA For Banning My Husband From All Doctor Appointments After He Repeatedly Messes With Me?”
Annoying your partner is a time-honored tradition, but it’s always good to know the time and place. An eye-rolling inside joke at dinner? Perfect. A physical prank involving a car and your pregnant wife? Questionable. Importantly, any good comedian knows that you can’t just keep doing the same joke over and over again.
A woman asked if she was wrong to “ban” her husband from her pregnancy appointments after he would not stop “pranking” her in the parking lot. We reached out to the author of the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
Being pregnant often means needing a bit more help
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Which is why one woman demanded her husband stop annoying her during her pregnancy appointments
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Image credits: KnownPerception7676
Irritating your spouse is an underrated way to have fun, if done correctly
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Annoying your partner is one of those little joys in life, indeed, some would argue that it’s a sign of a successful relationship. After all, if you feel confident enough to bother your partner, it means you know they like you enough to stay. It’s hard to imagine a relationship that lasts a few more days if neither partner feels comfortable with each other.
Some see it as a good way to “test” their relationship. It’s basically an open secret that many of us put on a bit of a show when we start dating. Just like in a job interview, you tend to put your best foot forward. However, the longer you are with someone, the more likely that your real self will come out.
This can and often does mean little jokes, phrases and behaviors that your partner might find annoying, just as they probably do something that can seem bothersome. So by “testing the waters” here and there, you can see how your partner reacts to something that might inconvenience them. If you don’t think this happens, consider the fact that your partner has probably done it to you.
But this man is way too defensive when called out
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There are always limits, as this story shows. Some folks just love to do things for their own amusement, for example, this man. As we can see, he’ll repeat the gag on his pregnant wife and still find it funny long after she is absolutely sick of it. Importantly, after being asked to stop he gets very defensive. This is a surefire way to damage your relationship.
Couples therapist John Gottman described the relationship equivalent of the four horses of the apocalypse as criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. There is not enough information here to suddenly speculate about exactly how this relationship works, but it should be understandable to feel frustrated if you ask a partner not to do something and they keep doing it.
Even worse, he throws a fit and gets angry, which seems pretty dumb given the fact that pranks exist to inconvenience someone. This is more concerning, we all probably annoy our partners or even roommates more often than not, but not to the extent that they have to ban us from important events. Some commenters note that perhaps she was a bit harsh, but this also raises the question of why he didn’t stop when she asked the first time.
Some folks needed more context
Most thought she was being reasonable
Some thought her “punishment” was too much
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As usual, YTA are missing the point. It's funny for HIM, but not for her, which makes it bullying. It might be funny once, but if the other person doesn't see the joke, stop it. He sounds like a teenager.
f*****g exactly! it f*****g dangerous who the f**k the yta think they are f*****g are! "It's just a f*****g joke" F*****G REALLY!? Yall can go get your own hit because the man could've hurt the woman or worse: THE F****N BABY! s**t pick up f*****g rocks!
Load More Replies...The facts he's gone crying to his mum and his mum is trying to gaslight her into revoking her decision... Tells you a) where the entitlement comes from b) a grown up would have surely stopped running to mum to sort out the mess he's made. This is hardcore loser material.
Milestones like pregnancies often are when abusers show their true colors and mean pranks escalate into actual abuse. It’s not surprising that he does this at your appointments where you are the center of attention and not him. He will be awful when the baby is born and everyone’s attention, including yours, is focused there. I’m sorry.
Same thing I was thinking. Abuse disguised as pranking. It's isn't difficult to see where he gets it from. In OP'S shoes, I would ban him as well. OP should have a bag packed, in case he escalates the "pranking" in any way. He sounds narcissistic, and without marital counseling, things will only get worse, with the baby as the next target.
Load More Replies...YTAs are the bullies who think that pranks are for their sole entertainment and that messing with a pregnant person is ok. It's not. They should go separately to the appointment, she should tell the doctor why in front of him. Although this manchild probably won't listen to anyone but his mummy.
It's all fun and games for him until she's a week from labor, and she slips & falls while trying to catch the door, busts her face on the concrete and gets her limbs run over.
Whenever he tries to be affectionate or intimate, keep scooting away from him. If he asks why... Well, you're "just messing with him!" He should be able to take a joke... See the funny side...? He's such an hilarious prankster, I'm sure he'll understand! And if he doesn't like it, just say that HE must be hormonal, if he can't see it's just a joke!
I would Uber to future appointments. Tell him he can come, but you'll get your own ride. Refuse to ride anywhere with him. If you do and he's dropping you off, have him stop the engine and remove the keys EVERY SINGLE TIME UNTIL HE IS SICK OF IT. Tell him it is just your way of having a little fun, just like he does.
That kind of pranks are funny once, when it becomes a pattern is just being mean.
I'd say, "Suggest I'm making a big deal out of nothing one more time and you won't be at the birth". He's extraneous and unnecessary. His presence is a privilege not a right.
Good point -AND no matter what if SHE says get HIM OUT - he is gone. The Doctors and nurses don't mess around when Mom says go! I know a man who was kicked out due to him being an a*s
Load More Replies...Ffs YTA scum please do not breed !!! You’re all inhuman ! Op. TA YOUR husbands a childish jerk tbh doing that likely wasn’t funny the first time he did it so it sure as hell isn’t when dine every single f kin time ! Then gaslighting you in it being your issue not his erm look a*****e your being pathetic grow up before you injure her n your baby ! N I like what missyflower said make out he’s hurt u see how funny he thinks that is also teach him. A Lesson in how dangerous this is by clutching your stomach !! again not an over reaction at all he needs to see the consequences of what his pathetic actions could do ! Blessed be op n yup show hi, this thread x
Jeez. Sorry you're having a kid with this f*cking disrespectful manchild.
My mom's ex did this to me and ran over my foot messing it up for years. It isn't safe so it isn't a joke.
I find the statement 'lighten up' to be so disrespectful to the point it's triggering rage in me LOL I will decide what's funny or 'light' to me. A ridiculous & childish mindset for him & his mom. He should move back in with her until he's matured more & ready to be an adult who respects his partners boundaries.
You find out the sex, not the gender. But in guessing the "just joking" aspect isn't new, this is just a new expression of it. If it's somehow out of character, he wouldn't be so defensive, and he would stop. But OP should seriously consider if she wants someone like that around her or her kids. Usually men go the other way and treat pregnant partners like glass, that he thinks it's funny to upset and possibly give motion sickness to his expecting partner is pretty telling he's not going to be a safe person for the kid to rely on.
I guess if he's really twisted up about it, she could have one of those obnoxious GENITALIA REVEAL parties. Then everyone can ask him why he didn't know before and he'll have to tell them because he lost his appointment privileges by being an a*****e to his wife.
Load More Replies...The commenter who said that she can’t go back in time to make happy memories of a supportive father … For some reason, that hit me really hard. Made me wonder whether I’ve done something assy in my life and wrecked something for someone. Oh, how I hope I haven’t! This poor woman and her jackass don’t seem to have a happy and loving future, but I hope like hell she shows him this and he has a GIANT lightbulb moment!
Hes doing something to upset her that he can easily stop but wont, hes a bully. But banning him from his babies appointments is s****y. Let him go to the appointments just dont let him drive/dont go in the same car.
It doesn't matter how funny you think a joke is, if someone isn't laughing and asks you to stop, you stop. Doesn't matter why. Humor is subjective. My humor is different from others, and not everyone appreciates it. And I respect that.
How many times is dad willing to tell the child to stop something , and the kid will say relax it is just a joke? " I do like the one where she tells him it's a boy no a girl no a boy. Yes there is a difference between being a juvenile jerk and fcking with his real desires - but children NEED to learn. AND calling MOMMY???? OMG
I'd never ride anywhere with this AH - his joke is dangerous and NOT FUNNY!
I have read so many prankster stories the last few days. Don't these people ever grow up?
It would be great if he would discuss this as an adult, but he’s shown her that he doesn’t respect her feelings and that saying “I’m just messing with you” is some kind of magical incantation that allows him to be an a*s and never be held accountable.
Does this dumbass even realize that he could hurt her and the baby by doing this . If she was either opening the door or getting in the car when he does this it could be deadly if he ran over her. Her Mama Bear has warned him and his Mommy needs to butt out.
I agree with the "He's too young to have a kid" comments. Sounds like he's jealous + looking for attention by "pranking" his *pregnant* wife. Sounds like he needs a good rack to the nuts. Just sayin'...
Would it be "just a joke" if you fell getting out of the car and went into premature labor? If you were holding baby and exiting car and fell? Joke ? He thinks he is a comedian. In future I would get a ride with someone else
This guy seriously needs to get his sh*t together. I had friends who pulled this kind of thing in high school. I hated it then, and I won't tolerate it now. Something goes wrong, and a hand gets caught on the door handle or a foot actually gets in the door, it can go so wrong. She should force him to put in park before she gets out, at the very least. And this guy needs some serious growing up, especially with a kid on the way. That poor woman is going to be so miserable with two kids to take care of, and one should be a grown, fully involved partner instead.
Tell him it's a giraffe...then next time he asks, it's a hippo. Then it's a lion cub.... What, he can't take a joke, you're just having fun 🙃... It's actually a bandicoot ....
Tell him it's a giraffe. Then next time he asks, it's a hippo....then a lion cub.... What, he can't take a joke? You're just having fun with him 🙃
Anyone who says it's just a joke, and that you're being too sensitive, is a loser. Punt.
It's been done to me a few times - only one friend who did it too much, so I said I'll stand here until you get out of the car & let me drive. Never give them the satisfaction of seeing you look stupid. And that's what he's doing. I'd have done what she did LONG ago, but I wouldn't be married to someone who thought laughing at me was fun.
Well, it seems to me that the obvious solution is for her mom to drive her to the appointments, and the husband meets them there
Why? He hasn't even apologised and he tells her she's silly and hormonal. You're basically saying he can do what he likes and face no consequences.
Load More Replies...It isn’t funny and OP is NTA, but instead of banning him from appointments, she should just refuse to let him drive her anywhere, even when the baby is due. Punishments should be relevant to the crimes, I think. The husband sounds like a complete moron, but she picked him and it doesn’t sound like he’s changed, so this is on her, hormones or not
Tell his mom your version of the story, how many times he's done it, how many times you've asked him not to, how many arguments his behavior has caused. I hope she's not getting the whole story. If she still thinks it's OK, I'd consider leaving now. It's not going to get better.
To do it once is mildly amusing. To do it again and again is boring, frustrating and childish. He's going to be a father soon. He needs to grow up.
IMHO doing it even once to a pregnant woman isn't amusing. At 6 months you're not nearly as agile as you were before so if he goes just a little too far jumping out of the way could easily mean a serious accident.
Load More Replies...Maybe from the fact that she repeatedly asked her husband to stop doing something she really dislikes and that stresses her out and he doesn't respect her enough to stop doing it. When you tell your partner that their action isn't funny to you, it's stressful, and they chose to ignore your request and keep doing it they don't respect you. Imagine being pregnant with the baby of someone who doesn't respect you.
Load More Replies...As usual, YTA are missing the point. It's funny for HIM, but not for her, which makes it bullying. It might be funny once, but if the other person doesn't see the joke, stop it. He sounds like a teenager.
f*****g exactly! it f*****g dangerous who the f**k the yta think they are f*****g are! "It's just a f*****g joke" F*****G REALLY!? Yall can go get your own hit because the man could've hurt the woman or worse: THE F****N BABY! s**t pick up f*****g rocks!
Load More Replies...The facts he's gone crying to his mum and his mum is trying to gaslight her into revoking her decision... Tells you a) where the entitlement comes from b) a grown up would have surely stopped running to mum to sort out the mess he's made. This is hardcore loser material.
Milestones like pregnancies often are when abusers show their true colors and mean pranks escalate into actual abuse. It’s not surprising that he does this at your appointments where you are the center of attention and not him. He will be awful when the baby is born and everyone’s attention, including yours, is focused there. I’m sorry.
Same thing I was thinking. Abuse disguised as pranking. It's isn't difficult to see where he gets it from. In OP'S shoes, I would ban him as well. OP should have a bag packed, in case he escalates the "pranking" in any way. He sounds narcissistic, and without marital counseling, things will only get worse, with the baby as the next target.
Load More Replies...YTAs are the bullies who think that pranks are for their sole entertainment and that messing with a pregnant person is ok. It's not. They should go separately to the appointment, she should tell the doctor why in front of him. Although this manchild probably won't listen to anyone but his mummy.
It's all fun and games for him until she's a week from labor, and she slips & falls while trying to catch the door, busts her face on the concrete and gets her limbs run over.
Whenever he tries to be affectionate or intimate, keep scooting away from him. If he asks why... Well, you're "just messing with him!" He should be able to take a joke... See the funny side...? He's such an hilarious prankster, I'm sure he'll understand! And if he doesn't like it, just say that HE must be hormonal, if he can't see it's just a joke!
I would Uber to future appointments. Tell him he can come, but you'll get your own ride. Refuse to ride anywhere with him. If you do and he's dropping you off, have him stop the engine and remove the keys EVERY SINGLE TIME UNTIL HE IS SICK OF IT. Tell him it is just your way of having a little fun, just like he does.
That kind of pranks are funny once, when it becomes a pattern is just being mean.
I'd say, "Suggest I'm making a big deal out of nothing one more time and you won't be at the birth". He's extraneous and unnecessary. His presence is a privilege not a right.
Good point -AND no matter what if SHE says get HIM OUT - he is gone. The Doctors and nurses don't mess around when Mom says go! I know a man who was kicked out due to him being an a*s
Load More Replies...Ffs YTA scum please do not breed !!! You’re all inhuman ! Op. TA YOUR husbands a childish jerk tbh doing that likely wasn’t funny the first time he did it so it sure as hell isn’t when dine every single f kin time ! Then gaslighting you in it being your issue not his erm look a*****e your being pathetic grow up before you injure her n your baby ! N I like what missyflower said make out he’s hurt u see how funny he thinks that is also teach him. A Lesson in how dangerous this is by clutching your stomach !! again not an over reaction at all he needs to see the consequences of what his pathetic actions could do ! Blessed be op n yup show hi, this thread x
Jeez. Sorry you're having a kid with this f*cking disrespectful manchild.
My mom's ex did this to me and ran over my foot messing it up for years. It isn't safe so it isn't a joke.
I find the statement 'lighten up' to be so disrespectful to the point it's triggering rage in me LOL I will decide what's funny or 'light' to me. A ridiculous & childish mindset for him & his mom. He should move back in with her until he's matured more & ready to be an adult who respects his partners boundaries.
You find out the sex, not the gender. But in guessing the "just joking" aspect isn't new, this is just a new expression of it. If it's somehow out of character, he wouldn't be so defensive, and he would stop. But OP should seriously consider if she wants someone like that around her or her kids. Usually men go the other way and treat pregnant partners like glass, that he thinks it's funny to upset and possibly give motion sickness to his expecting partner is pretty telling he's not going to be a safe person for the kid to rely on.
I guess if he's really twisted up about it, she could have one of those obnoxious GENITALIA REVEAL parties. Then everyone can ask him why he didn't know before and he'll have to tell them because he lost his appointment privileges by being an a*****e to his wife.
Load More Replies...The commenter who said that she can’t go back in time to make happy memories of a supportive father … For some reason, that hit me really hard. Made me wonder whether I’ve done something assy in my life and wrecked something for someone. Oh, how I hope I haven’t! This poor woman and her jackass don’t seem to have a happy and loving future, but I hope like hell she shows him this and he has a GIANT lightbulb moment!
Hes doing something to upset her that he can easily stop but wont, hes a bully. But banning him from his babies appointments is s****y. Let him go to the appointments just dont let him drive/dont go in the same car.
It doesn't matter how funny you think a joke is, if someone isn't laughing and asks you to stop, you stop. Doesn't matter why. Humor is subjective. My humor is different from others, and not everyone appreciates it. And I respect that.
How many times is dad willing to tell the child to stop something , and the kid will say relax it is just a joke? " I do like the one where she tells him it's a boy no a girl no a boy. Yes there is a difference between being a juvenile jerk and fcking with his real desires - but children NEED to learn. AND calling MOMMY???? OMG
I'd never ride anywhere with this AH - his joke is dangerous and NOT FUNNY!
I have read so many prankster stories the last few days. Don't these people ever grow up?
It would be great if he would discuss this as an adult, but he’s shown her that he doesn’t respect her feelings and that saying “I’m just messing with you” is some kind of magical incantation that allows him to be an a*s and never be held accountable.
Does this dumbass even realize that he could hurt her and the baby by doing this . If she was either opening the door or getting in the car when he does this it could be deadly if he ran over her. Her Mama Bear has warned him and his Mommy needs to butt out.
I agree with the "He's too young to have a kid" comments. Sounds like he's jealous + looking for attention by "pranking" his *pregnant* wife. Sounds like he needs a good rack to the nuts. Just sayin'...
Would it be "just a joke" if you fell getting out of the car and went into premature labor? If you were holding baby and exiting car and fell? Joke ? He thinks he is a comedian. In future I would get a ride with someone else
This guy seriously needs to get his sh*t together. I had friends who pulled this kind of thing in high school. I hated it then, and I won't tolerate it now. Something goes wrong, and a hand gets caught on the door handle or a foot actually gets in the door, it can go so wrong. She should force him to put in park before she gets out, at the very least. And this guy needs some serious growing up, especially with a kid on the way. That poor woman is going to be so miserable with two kids to take care of, and one should be a grown, fully involved partner instead.
Tell him it's a giraffe...then next time he asks, it's a hippo. Then it's a lion cub.... What, he can't take a joke, you're just having fun 🙃... It's actually a bandicoot ....
Tell him it's a giraffe. Then next time he asks, it's a hippo....then a lion cub.... What, he can't take a joke? You're just having fun with him 🙃
Anyone who says it's just a joke, and that you're being too sensitive, is a loser. Punt.
It's been done to me a few times - only one friend who did it too much, so I said I'll stand here until you get out of the car & let me drive. Never give them the satisfaction of seeing you look stupid. And that's what he's doing. I'd have done what she did LONG ago, but I wouldn't be married to someone who thought laughing at me was fun.
Well, it seems to me that the obvious solution is for her mom to drive her to the appointments, and the husband meets them there
Why? He hasn't even apologised and he tells her she's silly and hormonal. You're basically saying he can do what he likes and face no consequences.
Load More Replies...It isn’t funny and OP is NTA, but instead of banning him from appointments, she should just refuse to let him drive her anywhere, even when the baby is due. Punishments should be relevant to the crimes, I think. The husband sounds like a complete moron, but she picked him and it doesn’t sound like he’s changed, so this is on her, hormones or not
Tell his mom your version of the story, how many times he's done it, how many times you've asked him not to, how many arguments his behavior has caused. I hope she's not getting the whole story. If she still thinks it's OK, I'd consider leaving now. It's not going to get better.
To do it once is mildly amusing. To do it again and again is boring, frustrating and childish. He's going to be a father soon. He needs to grow up.
IMHO doing it even once to a pregnant woman isn't amusing. At 6 months you're not nearly as agile as you were before so if he goes just a little too far jumping out of the way could easily mean a serious accident.
Load More Replies...Maybe from the fact that she repeatedly asked her husband to stop doing something she really dislikes and that stresses her out and he doesn't respect her enough to stop doing it. When you tell your partner that their action isn't funny to you, it's stressful, and they chose to ignore your request and keep doing it they don't respect you. Imagine being pregnant with the baby of someone who doesn't respect you.
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