Wife Is Lost And Confused After Her Husband Leaves Her And Their Baby 10 Days After Her C-Section To Stay With His Friends
In a way, relationships resemble team sports—in order for it to work, all players have to contribute. It is especially important when the relationship grows into a family.
The user u/LifeAndSuch155 recently opened up to Reddit’s ‘Parenting’ community about being left alone on the court. She said her husband left her and their newborn baby at home just 10 days after her c-section, and went to stay with his friend instead; all because of a fight. Scroll down for the full story in the OP’s own words.
Teamwork in parenting requires lots of patience and good communication skills, which is why it’s not always easy
Image credits: korneevamaha (not the actual photo)
This woman was left alone with a newborn just days after her c-section while her husband stayed at a friend’s house
Image credits: OlgaSmolina (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LifeAndSuch155
The OP answered some of the people’s comments and shared more information as well as her views on the situation
She updated the redditors the next day
Caring for a newborn is often challenging, especially after a c-section, which makes help from a partner even more essential
Caring for a newborn is not an easy task, which is why sharing the load with a partner can make a world of difference. Especially after a cesarean section, which requires time to recover. Even though it differs from person to person, it usually takes up to six weeks to get back on your feet after such a surgery.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, back in 2021, roughly one third of births in the US were cesarean deliveries. The World Health Organization pointed out that the rates of c-sections have been growing globally over the years.
The OP was ten days post-operation, when the husband left her to take care of the baby on her own. Research on parenting stress revealed that fathers should actively share parenting roles in raising children, as it correlates to warm parenting behavior from the mother. Other data uncovered that over the past decades (1986 to 2015, to be exact), women have taken on more responsibilities of childcare than their male counterparts. However, the latter have become more involved with their kids than they used to be as the time went on.
Expert in developmental psychology, research scientist Jennifer E. Lansford pointed out that, “Fathers are not just helpers for mothers but are important to children in their own right,” as they contribute to their kid’s development in numerous ways. “For example, children with sensitive and supportive fathers have higher levels of social competence and better peer relationships,” Dr. Lansford wrote in Psychology Today. “Children whose fathers provide them with learning materials and speak with them frequently perform better in school and have more advanced language skills.”
Image credits: Hollie Santos (not the actual photo)
Sharing responsibilities in a relationship is important with or without children
Teamwork in a relationship is important with or without kids. Sharing such responsibilities as chores, for example, is also necessary to make it work. According to Pew Research Center, more than half of married adults (56%) with and without children agree that tackling housework together is essential for a successful marriage.
Even though some moms and dads deal with their responsibilities like true superheroes, they are only human after all. They get tired, too, and might even experience parental burnout, which is why parents need breaks as well. However, such pauses should be prediscussed rather than spontaneous, as they can lead to somewhat troublesome situations or negative emotions, as the OP’s situation illustrated.
That’s why communication is key when it comes to teamwork in a relationship. It can help create a schedule that would allow both parents to get some rest and take care of their share of the responsibilities. Baby Center pointed out that a schedule is one of the ways to divide childcare and housework duties, in addition to listing your responsibilities as well as your baby’s needs.
Image credits: Picsea (not the actual photo)
People had lots to say about the situation
The woman appreciated the support she received from the online community and provided one last update on the events
324Kviews
Share on FacebookWhen he came home, it was the honeymoon phase of an abusive event - she is married to an abusive, selfish ashole. She has a cancer stricken child, was given the silent treatment for wanting to park in her garage, and he left her post surgery because it was too hard for him. SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT NOW, things will continually get worse and more dangerous, with fewer honeymoon phases.
"You'd rather him be here than to stay and do something he regrets" is code for 'you don't want him to abuse you in some way because he can't control his temper'. He needs to take a break but you don't get the same luxury and you're 10 days out of major surgery. Sorry but I would hire a nanny and when he gets angry because that costs a whole lot of money. explain that you needed to hire someone to help take care of the baby because you just got out of the hospital and are in pain from bringing his child into the world- sorry to make things so 'tough' on him. This is absolutely ridiculous. I understand leaving to go for a drive for a few hours just to clear your head. But to leave for days? I'd change the freaking locks. I'd mail him the divorce paperwork along with the alimony and child support/visitation order. This makes me irate. There seriously needs to be some kind of serious repercussions for this. I'm not sure if I'd ever look at my husband the same ever again.
I agree, he sounds like a piece of s**t honestly...incredibly selfish.
Load More Replies...Help! what do the abbreviations STM and EBF mean. Can't find anything that fits in the text.
Okay, it took me some time to realise but she meant "second time mum" and "exclusively breast feeding"....
Load More Replies...When he came home, it was the honeymoon phase of an abusive event - she is married to an abusive, selfish ashole. She has a cancer stricken child, was given the silent treatment for wanting to park in her garage, and he left her post surgery because it was too hard for him. SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT NOW, things will continually get worse and more dangerous, with fewer honeymoon phases.
"You'd rather him be here than to stay and do something he regrets" is code for 'you don't want him to abuse you in some way because he can't control his temper'. He needs to take a break but you don't get the same luxury and you're 10 days out of major surgery. Sorry but I would hire a nanny and when he gets angry because that costs a whole lot of money. explain that you needed to hire someone to help take care of the baby because you just got out of the hospital and are in pain from bringing his child into the world- sorry to make things so 'tough' on him. This is absolutely ridiculous. I understand leaving to go for a drive for a few hours just to clear your head. But to leave for days? I'd change the freaking locks. I'd mail him the divorce paperwork along with the alimony and child support/visitation order. This makes me irate. There seriously needs to be some kind of serious repercussions for this. I'm not sure if I'd ever look at my husband the same ever again.
I agree, he sounds like a piece of s**t honestly...incredibly selfish.
Load More Replies...Help! what do the abbreviations STM and EBF mean. Can't find anything that fits in the text.
Okay, it took me some time to realise but she meant "second time mum" and "exclusively breast feeding"....
Load More Replies...
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