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“My Husband Purposely Hid My Car Keys So I Would Miss My Job Interview”
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“My Husband Purposely Hid My Car Keys So I Would Miss My Job Interview”

Husband Hides Car Keys So That Wife Will Miss Her Job InterviewWoman Misses Her Job Interview Because She Can't Find Her Car Keys, Husband Confesses He Hid ThemHusband Confesses He Took Wife's Car Keys So She Would Miss Her Job InterviewWoman Shares How Husband Sabotaged Her Job Interview, People Tell Her It's A Major Red Flag“I Felt So Betrayed”: Man Hid Wife’s Car Keys So She Would Be Late To An Interview“Nowhere To Be Found”: Woman’s Husband Tries To Stop Her From Having A Job InterviewHusband Takes Both Of Wife's Car Keys So She’ll Miss Job InterviewHusband Confesses To Purposely Sabotaging Wife’s Job Interview, People Say It’s Time To Run“The Only Red Flag You Need”: Internet Urges Woman To Leave Husband Who Sabotaged Her Interview
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It’s nice to have a caring partner, but, as many people have learned the hard way, it’s possible for your partner to care all too much and for all the wrong reasons. The line between caring and controlling can, at times, be a bit harder to notice if you aren’t ready for it.

A woman had a startling revelation about why her car keys were missing when she discovered that her husband wanted to stop her from attending a job interview. Readers shared their reactions and suggestions, while OP later gave a short update on what she had decided to do about the situation.

A partner who cares is a good thing, but there are limits

Image credits: Negative Space / pexels (not the actual photo)

One woman learned that her husband was a lot more controlling than she expected

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Image credits: ckstockphoto / envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: [deleted]

Bad partners sometimes only reveal their true colors later

Many relationships that end up going sour have a sort of “honeymoon” phase, which can, at times, coincide with the actual honeymoon. Unfortunately, as time goes on, bad people reveal their colors and their partners have to start making decisions about whether to stay or to get out for their own health. Leaving your partner or spouse is rarely easy, but sometimes it’s just the only path forward.

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As this story demonstrates, that can be a lot easier said than done. While at a distance, the husband’s behavior is unacceptable and, frankly, quite worrying. However, like a frog in a pot of hot water, it can be hard to see issues from up close. After all, horrible people often are quite adept at manipulating others.

Gaslighting” might be a sort of modern buzzword, but the unfortunate truth is that there are people out there who mess with other’s heads enough to make them incapable of seeing what is in front of them. OP’s husband may have not gaslit her in this particular situation, but the fact that she needs a second opinion on his downright controlling behavior indicates that she perhaps doesn’t quite understand who he is inside.

Controlling behavior should not be tolerated

Not all abusive behavior is strictly physical, although much of it is. This sort of behavior is already abusive, and, even worse, seems to be a precursor to more. It would appear that OP’s husband wants to limit her independence, undoubtedly to maintain some degree of control. As anyone who has watched a cult documentary can attest to, making its members dependent on the leader is a tried and tested strategy. The husband seems to have similar ideas.

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While we can’t know what he intends to do in the long run, stopping your wife from getting a job is a deeply bizarre behavior. There are a handful of “good” explanations for it, perhaps some fear of abandonment, however, this needs to be communicated and dealt with. In other words, one shouldn’t marry if they can’t handle their partner being out of their sight, a marriage means working together and not giving into every selfish whim.

After all, a couple exists to support each other and build each other up. This break of trust is both as concerning as it is horrible. Commenters were quick to suggest that OP leave him immediately, which, fortunately, she did, as she shared in a short update. After all, who knows what he would do next? OP can’t just be jobless for the rest of her life, particularly when she actually has a desire to work. This man needs to get his priorities straight or risk remaining alone forever.

Reader’s called out the husband’s behavior

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Read less »
Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

Read less »

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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kissmychakram
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband's behaviour is extremely problematic but I still don't understand why OP didn't call a cab/friend/relative/take public transport (if available).

Hphizzle
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Complete conjecture, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he subtly hinted at ride shares being bad, dangerous, or too expensive. Hence him knowing that taking her keys would make her miss the interview. One of the more subtle manipulation tactics.

Load More Replies...
Ephemera Image
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those people saying she should have used an Uber, there are many people like me who have no idea how to use that system (Do we tip? How to use the app? Etc.) I live in a smaller town and it's not available within 100 kilometers. Also, I have a car and am used to that, so never depend on anything else. People in large cities have this as a norm, but it really is less available in outer suburbs. Having said all of that, I would have called a cab. But this husband would probably have made sure she missed days at work as well, not a good look for a new job.

Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree! I don't use ride-share apps at all and it's a little difficult to set one up so quickly. I can see her looking for her keys after getting ready on her way out of the door (b/c who thinks to double-check where their car keys are ahead of that?). Even if she had thought of it, it's possible one couldn't have been so readily available on the spot or be expensive (it happens in both cases at times).

Load More Replies...
sharyn turnicky
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An outsider might think hubby loves and cherishs you, I say might because further thought would recognize a controlling manchild. Run run run away, this is only the beginning and will get much worse.

Molly Whuppie
Community Member
8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah re the uber/taxi comments, OP said the interview was 45 minutes from their apartment. Where I am, a 45 minute minute taxi fair would be around AU$200 (~US$130). Not sure about the US but I would guess it still wouldn't be cheap, especially for someone who is looking for a better paid job, or a job at all. (OP didn't mention any other job)

Min
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It's time to run like your tampon string is on fire" is my new favorite phrase.

Marnie
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She never asked him WHY? I mean, it's unacceptable no matter the reason, but I could not have easily lived without knowing what his crazy reasoning was.

Blyss Blyssylb
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For over a decade I was told, "When YOU get a job then you can have a SAY in what goes on around here!" I was actively looking for a job, any job. I'd fill out hundreds of applications, attended a workforce, etc...I never got a callback for an interview and couldn't figure out (or understand) why. One store across the street from my house did finally hire me - I went in there (at least twice) Every Week for over a year and a half checking for an opening. The day I was hired I was told that if I were called in on a scheduled day off that I had to drop what I was doing and go in. I told my husband this and he was like, "meh, we'll see how it goes"...I thought his reaction odd. My 2nd week, I go into work after my 2 days off only to find out that I had been called in both days! I was nearly fired! 12 years of being told to get a job by my husband, 12 yrs of applications and no callbacks! Then I found out why I never had a callback...I love the owners of that store!

Any
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmnn in the poll 2% voted with its caring.... okaaaay ...

Jcusack
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why'd he want you to not get the job tho? Did I miss something?

MR
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go back and read the responses to her. They do a good job of explaining it.

Load More Replies...
Seanette Blaylock
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like a lot of commenters are awfully privileged to be able to shell out for Uber/Lyft/taxi when they have no income. That or indulging in a round of victim-blaming.

Ken Beattie
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it weird that neither of them seem to be working, he's still studying and trying to do the housework and cooking. I mean what is his end goal? Finish uni, get a job, have her as a SAHM but he'd STILL do the cooking and cleaning? You'd think if he wanted her to be a SAHM he'd be letting (or MAKING) her do the cooking and cleaning. Is he obsessive about things being done his way and that's a secondary problem besides not wanting her to work?

Phoenix🇬🇧
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this hard to believe so I may get downvoted. If I wanted the job that much I'd have called a taxi, got the bus or even set off early and walked. She seemed more concerned about finding her cars keys than her dream job. Then she goes on about not thinking about using Uber.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you panic it can be very hard to shift course. This isnt a situation she's been in before, so it's not like she's had practise coming up with alternatives. It's not that weird to think that it genuinely didn't occur to her frazzled brain. The idea genuinely did not cross her mind because they are not common things for her. I don't know about you, but since I've never had a car it's second nature to think of those things. That's not true for everyone.

Load More Replies...
JennyH
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what uber is for. Extensive? Probably but atleast it shows problem solving skills and resourcefulness.

Seanette Blaylock
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if an unemployed person doesn't HAVE that much in their bank account to be able to pay?

Load More Replies...
kissmychakram
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband's behaviour is extremely problematic but I still don't understand why OP didn't call a cab/friend/relative/take public transport (if available).

Hphizzle
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Complete conjecture, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he subtly hinted at ride shares being bad, dangerous, or too expensive. Hence him knowing that taking her keys would make her miss the interview. One of the more subtle manipulation tactics.

Load More Replies...
Ephemera Image
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those people saying she should have used an Uber, there are many people like me who have no idea how to use that system (Do we tip? How to use the app? Etc.) I live in a smaller town and it's not available within 100 kilometers. Also, I have a car and am used to that, so never depend on anything else. People in large cities have this as a norm, but it really is less available in outer suburbs. Having said all of that, I would have called a cab. But this husband would probably have made sure she missed days at work as well, not a good look for a new job.

Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree! I don't use ride-share apps at all and it's a little difficult to set one up so quickly. I can see her looking for her keys after getting ready on her way out of the door (b/c who thinks to double-check where their car keys are ahead of that?). Even if she had thought of it, it's possible one couldn't have been so readily available on the spot or be expensive (it happens in both cases at times).

Load More Replies...
sharyn turnicky
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An outsider might think hubby loves and cherishs you, I say might because further thought would recognize a controlling manchild. Run run run away, this is only the beginning and will get much worse.

Molly Whuppie
Community Member
8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah re the uber/taxi comments, OP said the interview was 45 minutes from their apartment. Where I am, a 45 minute minute taxi fair would be around AU$200 (~US$130). Not sure about the US but I would guess it still wouldn't be cheap, especially for someone who is looking for a better paid job, or a job at all. (OP didn't mention any other job)

Min
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It's time to run like your tampon string is on fire" is my new favorite phrase.

Marnie
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She never asked him WHY? I mean, it's unacceptable no matter the reason, but I could not have easily lived without knowing what his crazy reasoning was.

Blyss Blyssylb
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For over a decade I was told, "When YOU get a job then you can have a SAY in what goes on around here!" I was actively looking for a job, any job. I'd fill out hundreds of applications, attended a workforce, etc...I never got a callback for an interview and couldn't figure out (or understand) why. One store across the street from my house did finally hire me - I went in there (at least twice) Every Week for over a year and a half checking for an opening. The day I was hired I was told that if I were called in on a scheduled day off that I had to drop what I was doing and go in. I told my husband this and he was like, "meh, we'll see how it goes"...I thought his reaction odd. My 2nd week, I go into work after my 2 days off only to find out that I had been called in both days! I was nearly fired! 12 years of being told to get a job by my husband, 12 yrs of applications and no callbacks! Then I found out why I never had a callback...I love the owners of that store!

Any
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmnn in the poll 2% voted with its caring.... okaaaay ...

Jcusack
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why'd he want you to not get the job tho? Did I miss something?

MR
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go back and read the responses to her. They do a good job of explaining it.

Load More Replies...
Seanette Blaylock
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like a lot of commenters are awfully privileged to be able to shell out for Uber/Lyft/taxi when they have no income. That or indulging in a round of victim-blaming.

Ken Beattie
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it weird that neither of them seem to be working, he's still studying and trying to do the housework and cooking. I mean what is his end goal? Finish uni, get a job, have her as a SAHM but he'd STILL do the cooking and cleaning? You'd think if he wanted her to be a SAHM he'd be letting (or MAKING) her do the cooking and cleaning. Is he obsessive about things being done his way and that's a secondary problem besides not wanting her to work?

Phoenix🇬🇧
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this hard to believe so I may get downvoted. If I wanted the job that much I'd have called a taxi, got the bus or even set off early and walked. She seemed more concerned about finding her cars keys than her dream job. Then she goes on about not thinking about using Uber.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you panic it can be very hard to shift course. This isnt a situation she's been in before, so it's not like she's had practise coming up with alternatives. It's not that weird to think that it genuinely didn't occur to her frazzled brain. The idea genuinely did not cross her mind because they are not common things for her. I don't know about you, but since I've never had a car it's second nature to think of those things. That's not true for everyone.

Load More Replies...
JennyH
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what uber is for. Extensive? Probably but atleast it shows problem solving skills and resourcefulness.

Seanette Blaylock
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if an unemployed person doesn't HAVE that much in their bank account to be able to pay?

Load More Replies...
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