Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
10
Husband Gives Wife An Ultimatum: Either Quit Teaching Yoga Or The Marriage Is Over
It took Reddit user ElevenElevenPM a very long time to find what was missing from her life. However, now that she’s got it, her partner wants her to get rid of it.
In a brutally honest post on r/Relationship_Advice, the Redditor explained that yoga gave her a purpose that few things ever could. The hobby reignited her love for physical activity, provided a community, and quickly became a passion.
But amidst all the joy, the yogi’s husband presented her with an ultimatum: either stop practicing yoga, or the marriage is over.
RELATED:
This yoga teacher has gotten to a point where she can hardly imagine her life without the peace and fulfillment it brings
Image credits: Ale Romo/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But her husband feels threatened by it
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: elevenelevenpm
Ultimatums are not part of a healthy relationship
A lot of the time, people create an ultimatum because they feel like they’ve expressed their need in every way they could and it still wasn’t met. In other words, ultimatums largely come from desperation.
“People often give ultimatums as a last resort when there is an identified ‘deal breaker’ in the relationship that they feel trapped by,” said Josiah Teng, a New York City-based therapist.
The ultimatum is a way for them to exert control over something they feel they have no control over, such as their partner’s behavior or their traits.
Image credits: Wesley Tingey/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But, as with many last resorts, their success rate is very low. Marriage and family therapist Megan Harrison, LMFT, explained the dangers of ultimatums, saying, “They are particularly damaging because they are threats that force changes in behavior. [This] often leads to resentment and insecurity in the relationship since your partners felt pressured into doing something they didn’t want to do.”
There’s a good chance that the husband wouldn’t be happy even if his wife decided to quit yoga. Harrison highlighted that “if you give your partner an ultimatum and they decide to abide by it, you’ll always be wondering if they accepted your terms because they really love you and want things to work, or because they felt like they [were] forced to do so.”
According to the therapist, “One of the best ways to work through your relationship problems without using an ultimatum is through clear and open communication.” However, judging by this story, it sounds like the husband had retreated into his own thoughts and, for whatever reason, wasn’t willing or hasn’t been able to share them with his wife.
As reactions poured in, the woman joined the discussion in the comments
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
Scott Rackley 4 days ago (edited)
First off, ultimatums from loved ones should always be rejected. Second, I don't think I've ever seen the words "marijuana" and "bender" put together before.
MegDragon 4 days ago
The speed of their relationship milestones made my head spin. They’ve done everything on a fast track, including the breakup. It’s sad but not too surprising given they didn’t know each other very long.
Alro 4 days ago
I also thought about how could all of this happen in such a short period of time
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 4 days ago
This is an incredibly long story that boils down to one thing: the husband needs therapy to deal with his upbringing (i.e. the abuse between his parents) and his depression. OP says he's 'been dealing with it on his own', which means he hasn't been dealing with it at all. He wants it one way or no way, and if he doesn't get help (and, consequently, you get help together), this marriage is doomed unless OP sacrifices herself for his gain. If she does that, there will be no end in sight for what he will demand of her, until there's nothing left to demand and OP will be a shell of her former self. The ultimatum should be "get therapy, or this marriage is over". This isn't about yoga at all. It's about how he copes with anything negative by asserting control over OP.
Crystalwitch60 4 days ago
Exactly this but they don’t see mental cruelty as abuse in the Indian culture only physical so to them what problem ain’t no problem
Load More Replies... Scott Rackley 4 days ago (edited)
First off, ultimatums from loved ones should always be rejected. Second, I don't think I've ever seen the words "marijuana" and "bender" put together before.
MegDragon 4 days ago
The speed of their relationship milestones made my head spin. They’ve done everything on a fast track, including the breakup. It’s sad but not too surprising given they didn’t know each other very long.
Alro 4 days ago
I also thought about how could all of this happen in such a short period of time
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 4 days ago
This is an incredibly long story that boils down to one thing: the husband needs therapy to deal with his upbringing (i.e. the abuse between his parents) and his depression. OP says he's 'been dealing with it on his own', which means he hasn't been dealing with it at all. He wants it one way or no way, and if he doesn't get help (and, consequently, you get help together), this marriage is doomed unless OP sacrifices herself for his gain. If she does that, there will be no end in sight for what he will demand of her, until there's nothing left to demand and OP will be a shell of her former self. The ultimatum should be "get therapy, or this marriage is over". This isn't about yoga at all. It's about how he copes with anything negative by asserting control over OP.
Crystalwitch60 4 days ago
Exactly this but they don’t see mental cruelty as abuse in the Indian culture only physical so to them what problem ain’t no problem
Load More Replies... You May Like Man Considers Divorce When Wife Refuses To Share Her Inheritance After Relying On Him For 22 Years “You Can Starve”: Husband’s Brutal Wake-Up Call Pushes Exhausted Wife To The Brink Woman Refuses To Help Sister Who Slept With Her Husband And Is Now Pregnant
Ieva Pečiulytė
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Justinas Keturka
Related on Bored Panda
35
51