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“I Miss The Woman I Fell In Love With”: Man Makes Wife Cry With Honest Opinion About Her “New Me”
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“I Miss The Woman I Fell In Love With”: Man Makes Wife Cry With Honest Opinion About Her “New Me”

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“Don’t ask questions if you aren’t ready for the answer” is common sense that many people forget to their own detriment. Unfortunately, in most committed relationships, you will have to face some hard truths with your partner. The silver lining is that these hard conversations might cause some pain in the moment, but will help in the long run.

A man wondered if he was wrong for finally telling his wife the truth about how he felt when she decided to take fewer showers and no longer use deodorant. We reached out to the husband in the story via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.

It’s important to remember that your partner won’t always be 100% on board with your major lifestyle changes

Image credits: Billie / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

A man ended up causing marital drama when he told his wife exactly how he felt about her not showering

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Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ElectricalCookie4231

Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)

As hard as it can be, good communication saves one from pain in the long run

It’s the most common of common sense to say that open and honest communication is a keystone of any marriage. Given the length of this couple’s marriage, it would make sense that they know it as well. It simply seems unlikely that they could somehow go through at least a decade of being together without a single “hard” conversation.

So it makes sense that the wife would be insistent on getting an answer. However, at the same time, she most likely enjoys some aspects of this new lifestyle. This might mean she overlooks the “side effects” of not showering, using deodorant and so on. Unfortunately, as many people with teenage kids already know, most folks tend to not notice or at least underestimate their own body odor.

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So when the husband tells her exactly how he feels, this not only causes her to feel self-conscious, but also deflated that he is not as happy about this change as she clearly must be. Even worse, by repeatedly insisting on him telling her, he is not a bit frustrated and, unfortunately, isn’t the most diplomatic when he finally speaks.

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Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

How we say things is also important to think about

Remember, communication isn’t just “saying the right things,” although that does go a long way. How we speak, the words we chose and even our tone are all important parts of ensuring that a delicate situation doesn’t escalate. In this story, some of the commenters (examples can be found below) who sided with the wife specifically called out the husband’s tone and how he decided to present his feelings. Almost no one thought he was “technically” wrong, just that he could have made his case in a more gentle manner.

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Even if the things one must say are going to hurt, even if you yourself are hurt, it’s best to try and “soften” the message with non-verbal techniques. A gentle tone, a small or even physical touch (when appropriate) helps create a less-tense environment. In these sorts of situations, it’s easy to “lose” the fact that you are talking to a loved one in the heat of the moment.

After all, candid conversations can turn hostile very quickly the moment someone goes on the defensive. In a perfect world, we would be wise to hear out our partners, even if our knee-jerk reaction is some degree of frustration or even anger. But, just like with communication, relationships also need a degree of grace, as long as it fits into the confines of normal and healthy boundaries.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Ultimately, it is possible to work through an argument if both sides agree

The husband later shared an update (which can also be found below) detailing how he approached the situation after reading some of the comments. You can read it yourself, but it ultimately underscores why open and honest communication is key to not only avoiding situations like this, but also resolving conflicts after they have happened. There are some conflicts bad enough to end the relationship then and there, but in most cases things can be worked through.

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Fortunately, as the first part demonstrates, the husband is pretty understanding and has solid boundaries for what he can and can’t demand from his wife. This is also a vital part for a relationship. Your partner’s body is theirs at the end of the day, you might have preferences and even opinions, but if you don’t respect what they do with it, at the very least communicate or just leave, don’t try and control them.

Some readers wanted more details

Most thought he was right to be honest

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But a few thought the way he phrased it was rude

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Later he shared an update

Image credits: August de Richelieu / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ElectricalCookie4231

People were happy he managed to resolve their issues

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Rafael
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Telling the truth to someone can be like giving food to a starved person - you can still shock someone if you aren't careful. Good think the husband asked for advice and investigated the matter, she was going through a rough patch and there were many more variables at play than either she or he knew, impossible to get simply from the question at face value.

MR
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone tells you that their opinion doesn't matter over and over while you keep pressing, be sure of one thing: you won't like their opinion. Yes, he could have been more tactful. But once you press hard for honesty, you don't get to act hurt over it when they give it. Having said that, clearly there was a communication gap going on in which she was hurting over not being able to have kids. Counseling will be a winner for these two given their willingness to communicate better.

Yu Pan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! People will gladly dish out affirmation, so if you get a non answer you already know the answer.

Load More Replies...
LaserBrain
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she doesn't want to hear the answer, she shouldn't ask the question.

Vinnie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad they're talking now. His answer may not have been diplomatic, but he's a good listener and is willing to change based on what he hears. So is she. Couples go through crises, but the good ones work things through by communicating and compromising.

Vivi Pettiss
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No makeup and not shaving is a personal choice and you can have good hygiene without either as long as you take the right steps. The other stuff is just disgusting.

LittleTeapot
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I propose a new category for these! NYBS - not your best self. I feel like there is being an a*****e and then there is not being your best self. Sometimes calling someone an a*****e is not being your best self. I realize I should promote this on Reddit and not here but I don’t go on Reddit. This is a great example of husband being pretty great and then having a NYBS moment…which, with advice, he rectified and they both were able to make a great move forward together. NYBS, people. NAH.

Nimitz
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Growing up with a ton of sisters I can only think about how not washing/wearing deodorant would be unacceptable for a guy. The guy is very tolerant and accepting, but he doesn't need to lie and pretend he likes a partner who stinks and decided to present a very different appearance from before. I know for sure that if my partner refused to bathe it would very badly affect our sex life. I wouldn't give a damn about hair and makeup, but if someone smells offensive or their skin is oily and dirty to the touch, it's hard to ignore when tying to be intimate

Captain McSmoot
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the "YTA" comments should have to do two things: 1) be around her in closed quarters and 2) walk into the space where she has just been sexually active. The evolutionary reason why we think many things smell bad has been proven to alert us that something is wrong/to push us away. That's what's happening in her pants and that's what she's nastily offering up to her husband. I feel bad for the guy and that God awful stench he must endure...

Yuffa Kinazzo
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yea! What's going to happen when she wants to save the planet and becomes a tree hugger? And doesn't use a bidet either. Cause saving water and such.??

Load More Replies...
ENSJ
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that some don't feel the need to shower every day (can be detrimental to skin to shower too often) and I am guilty myself of not always shaving my legs or armpits (single and pale as f**k so I often just wear long sleeves and pants to prevent sunburn), but there is the matter of personal hygiene. Even without showering every day (unless there's a heatwave it's every other day for me) you should wash certain areas with water every day (armpits, feet, groin, face).

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your wife is incredibly immature to insist on hearing your opinion and THEN sulking. I naturally don't tend to advocate sulking, but if there HAS to be a sulker in the house, then it should be you for the stupid stunt she pulled, and that's before considering you being stuck with a rank room mate.

Kris Wu Yifan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people equating female body hair with a lack of hygiene are gigantic a******s.

Ephemera Image
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad it worked out for them, nice to hear a semi-happy ending. I don't get how he was rude though. He simply stated he missed the woman he married, who was clean and took care of herself. What has showering and brushing your hair got to do with 'detoxing' - not that there is such a thing!. But she obviously is depressed about not being able to have kids.

notreallyraine (they/them)
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this sounds like honestly a good relationship mostly and im rooting for them to come out stronger in the end :)

Steve Hall
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like there is a mental health issue here, even if neither one of them think so.

Rahul Pawa
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really glad he was able to talk to her about what brought on the changes. When she was asking the question would have been a good time to deflect into asking her why she changed. Something like, "I've noticed the changes you've made recently, and I can see how much happier you are now. I'm curious what brought on these changes." This might seem like a side step, but curiosity is a feeling! I can only hope she would have been ready to open up at that point. She was hiding her truth by asking the question instead of telling her partner how she really felt.

JammaCoast2Coast
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A little more communication between them would probably improve everything.

Rebel Peewee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its giving "vulnerable person" (not working, dealing with infertility) during a season of change (premenopausal, entering 40s) who is, at best, looking for guidance from a group making a deep impression (she'll find herself again, she's just trying something on for size) or at worst, has fallen into a high control group or a yoga cult (good luck with that).

winterwidow87
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cult doesn't seem to be the case since in the update he said she started showering again and is willing to go to therapy.

Load More Replies...
Laloo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She could still shower with nontoxic products. The sad truth is many products have endocrine disrupting ingredients, so she’s right to avoid chemicals.

veirdbuttrue
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personal hygiene is really important. I get fed up with people who don't wash but insist they "don't smell". You do. People are just too polite to tell you. I work in a very small enclosed office, I have customers come in and out all day. The people who don't wash DO smell and I've just about ended up dry retching on occasion while they go about their day completely unaware. These are the people that haven't washed for days. Some of my customers smell like they have just rolled out of bed, so i assume they just haven't washed that day, they just smell a bit sour.

Flo
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man knows his opinion is gonna hurt her feelings, therefore keeping to himself. She is unable to leave it at that and THINKS she wants to know the truth - which she obviously doesn't. He then gets called a jerk... you really can't win as a man when a woman starts going crazy like that.

Monica G
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now there are plenty natural cleaning, deodorands and cosmetics alternatives that are good and smell nice. It only takes sone time to look for them. Things like castille soap, essential oils that smell even better than sintetics. There are plenty companies that makes only such things.

Kerry Fletcher
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm nothing like getting intimate with someone who hasn't showered in a few days. Yes she said she does shower when she feels dirty but how long is that? A day? A week?

Betsy S
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many, many people don't shower every day and it's not needed unless you work in a grubby environment. That's a capitalism "create a problem and offer the solution" tactic. Stripping all the oils out of your hair and skin every day so that you have to buy their products to put it all back in again, only to be told that you need to strip it all away again the next day? That's capitalism. I can see why she would reject that. But using rubbing alcohol or crystal deodorant is not a toxic thing. Brushing your hair is not a toxic thing. Shaving your body is not a toxic thing (especially if you refuse to buy specialty products for it and just use good old fashioned soap). Having a clear water "bidet treatment" before intimacy does not put chemicals into your body. I get her motivation, but it's not an all or nothing thing. There are many things you can do to keep looking and feeling fresh without buying into the chemical miasma of capitalism.

María Hermida
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"She quit her job a few years ago and decided not to work"???? Really???!!! You are childless, so, what is she contributing to your partnership? I don't think I could stand a person like her by my side. It sounds as if she is a self-centred person who is taking advantage of you.

Ellen Shepard
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IMO, a change in hygiene habits, e.g. not showering regularly, is always related to depression. It would have been better had the LW known this and pushed her to get a qualified mental health professional see her as soon as this started. She unknowingly was trying to treat herself, through a "de-tox" as she tied how she felt to what she thought might help. Truly, OMOP severely depressed people just don't give a damn how they present themselves to others....maybe it's a cry for help.

weatherwitch
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a beautiful but sad ending. Poor lady suffering in silence, poor husband suffering from the stinky results. There are Many natural products for washing and particularly deodorant. I use Wild. Planet friendly, nature friendly, chemical free and it smells bloody AMAZING! I'm so very relieved the outcome here and absolutely commend his compassion, understanding and love for his wife ❤️

Joanne Mendonza-Earle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why you shouldn't ask questions that you may not like the answer to.

Apatheist Account2
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next question: "Does this make me look fat?" Some questions should never be answered, guys!

Sarah X Murphy
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many dermatologists advise showering less than once a day. Most might say twice a week. As for shaving and wearing makeup, I would suggest he shave the same body parts and wear makeup himself if he likes it so much.

veirdbuttrue
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you shower only twice weekly you are going to smell. That is gross for other people to be around.

Load More Replies...
Scott Rackley
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

And the cherry on top is she's stupid. I bet she bought some of those foot pads you wear while you sleep.

winterwidow87
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Read the update. She isn't stuipid there is a serious reason behind her behavior but they talked about it and she's willing to get help for it. People are so quick to judge without taking time to read all the facts.

Load More Replies...
Schmebulock
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Divorce and move on while you still have a lot of time left to start over.

winterwidow87
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Read the whole thing maybe before jumping to conclusions. There is a serious reason behind her behavior and she started showering again and agreed to go to therapy after they talked about it.

Load More Replies...
Rafael
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Telling the truth to someone can be like giving food to a starved person - you can still shock someone if you aren't careful. Good think the husband asked for advice and investigated the matter, she was going through a rough patch and there were many more variables at play than either she or he knew, impossible to get simply from the question at face value.

MR
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone tells you that their opinion doesn't matter over and over while you keep pressing, be sure of one thing: you won't like their opinion. Yes, he could have been more tactful. But once you press hard for honesty, you don't get to act hurt over it when they give it. Having said that, clearly there was a communication gap going on in which she was hurting over not being able to have kids. Counseling will be a winner for these two given their willingness to communicate better.

Yu Pan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! People will gladly dish out affirmation, so if you get a non answer you already know the answer.

Load More Replies...
LaserBrain
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she doesn't want to hear the answer, she shouldn't ask the question.

Vinnie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad they're talking now. His answer may not have been diplomatic, but he's a good listener and is willing to change based on what he hears. So is she. Couples go through crises, but the good ones work things through by communicating and compromising.

Vivi Pettiss
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No makeup and not shaving is a personal choice and you can have good hygiene without either as long as you take the right steps. The other stuff is just disgusting.

LittleTeapot
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I propose a new category for these! NYBS - not your best self. I feel like there is being an a*****e and then there is not being your best self. Sometimes calling someone an a*****e is not being your best self. I realize I should promote this on Reddit and not here but I don’t go on Reddit. This is a great example of husband being pretty great and then having a NYBS moment…which, with advice, he rectified and they both were able to make a great move forward together. NYBS, people. NAH.

Nimitz
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Growing up with a ton of sisters I can only think about how not washing/wearing deodorant would be unacceptable for a guy. The guy is very tolerant and accepting, but he doesn't need to lie and pretend he likes a partner who stinks and decided to present a very different appearance from before. I know for sure that if my partner refused to bathe it would very badly affect our sex life. I wouldn't give a damn about hair and makeup, but if someone smells offensive or their skin is oily and dirty to the touch, it's hard to ignore when tying to be intimate

Captain McSmoot
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the "YTA" comments should have to do two things: 1) be around her in closed quarters and 2) walk into the space where she has just been sexually active. The evolutionary reason why we think many things smell bad has been proven to alert us that something is wrong/to push us away. That's what's happening in her pants and that's what she's nastily offering up to her husband. I feel bad for the guy and that God awful stench he must endure...

Yuffa Kinazzo
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yea! What's going to happen when she wants to save the planet and becomes a tree hugger? And doesn't use a bidet either. Cause saving water and such.??

Load More Replies...
ENSJ
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that some don't feel the need to shower every day (can be detrimental to skin to shower too often) and I am guilty myself of not always shaving my legs or armpits (single and pale as f**k so I often just wear long sleeves and pants to prevent sunburn), but there is the matter of personal hygiene. Even without showering every day (unless there's a heatwave it's every other day for me) you should wash certain areas with water every day (armpits, feet, groin, face).

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your wife is incredibly immature to insist on hearing your opinion and THEN sulking. I naturally don't tend to advocate sulking, but if there HAS to be a sulker in the house, then it should be you for the stupid stunt she pulled, and that's before considering you being stuck with a rank room mate.

Kris Wu Yifan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people equating female body hair with a lack of hygiene are gigantic a******s.

Ephemera Image
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad it worked out for them, nice to hear a semi-happy ending. I don't get how he was rude though. He simply stated he missed the woman he married, who was clean and took care of herself. What has showering and brushing your hair got to do with 'detoxing' - not that there is such a thing!. But she obviously is depressed about not being able to have kids.

notreallyraine (they/them)
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this sounds like honestly a good relationship mostly and im rooting for them to come out stronger in the end :)

Steve Hall
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like there is a mental health issue here, even if neither one of them think so.

Rahul Pawa
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really glad he was able to talk to her about what brought on the changes. When she was asking the question would have been a good time to deflect into asking her why she changed. Something like, "I've noticed the changes you've made recently, and I can see how much happier you are now. I'm curious what brought on these changes." This might seem like a side step, but curiosity is a feeling! I can only hope she would have been ready to open up at that point. She was hiding her truth by asking the question instead of telling her partner how she really felt.

JammaCoast2Coast
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A little more communication between them would probably improve everything.

Rebel Peewee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its giving "vulnerable person" (not working, dealing with infertility) during a season of change (premenopausal, entering 40s) who is, at best, looking for guidance from a group making a deep impression (she'll find herself again, she's just trying something on for size) or at worst, has fallen into a high control group or a yoga cult (good luck with that).

winterwidow87
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cult doesn't seem to be the case since in the update he said she started showering again and is willing to go to therapy.

Load More Replies...
Laloo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She could still shower with nontoxic products. The sad truth is many products have endocrine disrupting ingredients, so she’s right to avoid chemicals.

veirdbuttrue
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personal hygiene is really important. I get fed up with people who don't wash but insist they "don't smell". You do. People are just too polite to tell you. I work in a very small enclosed office, I have customers come in and out all day. The people who don't wash DO smell and I've just about ended up dry retching on occasion while they go about their day completely unaware. These are the people that haven't washed for days. Some of my customers smell like they have just rolled out of bed, so i assume they just haven't washed that day, they just smell a bit sour.

Flo
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man knows his opinion is gonna hurt her feelings, therefore keeping to himself. She is unable to leave it at that and THINKS she wants to know the truth - which she obviously doesn't. He then gets called a jerk... you really can't win as a man when a woman starts going crazy like that.

Monica G
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now there are plenty natural cleaning, deodorands and cosmetics alternatives that are good and smell nice. It only takes sone time to look for them. Things like castille soap, essential oils that smell even better than sintetics. There are plenty companies that makes only such things.

Kerry Fletcher
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm nothing like getting intimate with someone who hasn't showered in a few days. Yes she said she does shower when she feels dirty but how long is that? A day? A week?

Betsy S
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many, many people don't shower every day and it's not needed unless you work in a grubby environment. That's a capitalism "create a problem and offer the solution" tactic. Stripping all the oils out of your hair and skin every day so that you have to buy their products to put it all back in again, only to be told that you need to strip it all away again the next day? That's capitalism. I can see why she would reject that. But using rubbing alcohol or crystal deodorant is not a toxic thing. Brushing your hair is not a toxic thing. Shaving your body is not a toxic thing (especially if you refuse to buy specialty products for it and just use good old fashioned soap). Having a clear water "bidet treatment" before intimacy does not put chemicals into your body. I get her motivation, but it's not an all or nothing thing. There are many things you can do to keep looking and feeling fresh without buying into the chemical miasma of capitalism.

María Hermida
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"She quit her job a few years ago and decided not to work"???? Really???!!! You are childless, so, what is she contributing to your partnership? I don't think I could stand a person like her by my side. It sounds as if she is a self-centred person who is taking advantage of you.

Ellen Shepard
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IMO, a change in hygiene habits, e.g. not showering regularly, is always related to depression. It would have been better had the LW known this and pushed her to get a qualified mental health professional see her as soon as this started. She unknowingly was trying to treat herself, through a "de-tox" as she tied how she felt to what she thought might help. Truly, OMOP severely depressed people just don't give a damn how they present themselves to others....maybe it's a cry for help.

weatherwitch
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a beautiful but sad ending. Poor lady suffering in silence, poor husband suffering from the stinky results. There are Many natural products for washing and particularly deodorant. I use Wild. Planet friendly, nature friendly, chemical free and it smells bloody AMAZING! I'm so very relieved the outcome here and absolutely commend his compassion, understanding and love for his wife ❤️

Joanne Mendonza-Earle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why you shouldn't ask questions that you may not like the answer to.

Apatheist Account2
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next question: "Does this make me look fat?" Some questions should never be answered, guys!

Sarah X Murphy
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many dermatologists advise showering less than once a day. Most might say twice a week. As for shaving and wearing makeup, I would suggest he shave the same body parts and wear makeup himself if he likes it so much.

veirdbuttrue
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you shower only twice weekly you are going to smell. That is gross for other people to be around.

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Scott Rackley
Community Member
2 months ago

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And the cherry on top is she's stupid. I bet she bought some of those foot pads you wear while you sleep.

winterwidow87
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Read the update. She isn't stuipid there is a serious reason behind her behavior but they talked about it and she's willing to get help for it. People are so quick to judge without taking time to read all the facts.

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Schmebulock
Community Member
2 months ago

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Divorce and move on while you still have a lot of time left to start over.

winterwidow87
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Read the whole thing maybe before jumping to conclusions. There is a serious reason behind her behavior and she started showering again and agreed to go to therapy after they talked about it.

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