"warning tap" - girl, glad you got out before the main event. Now tell his partners. And the police. And hold on to those texts.

"He... threatened to divorce me if I used that word again". The only response can be to oblige with a text saying "What do you want to call the abuse?"

This man's abuse is not new: "He’s never hit me before but he’s pushed me and thrown things in my face before."

He's cheating. He couldn't find his phone & freaked out thinking that she took it to investigate. Divorce & cite abuse as the cause.

Losing his cool over a phone? What the heck is a warning tap? Is he practicing on how to hit his wife harder the next time? Hope OP files for divorce really soon; and I agree with the other comments to make it public to save other women.

Been married for 31 the years. My husband has never "given me a warning tap" Report it and get get a lawyer.

Men like this never change. He will never change. GTFO girl, make a police report, and never look back.

You need to leave this guy!!! As a domestic violence survivor,you called it right. HE ABUSED YOU!!!!! He's been abusing you for a long time. So he hasn't hit you before? He has still abused you. He gaslit you right after he hit you this time. One time is one time too many. BELIEVE ME!!!! RUN DON'T WALK AWAY!!! That so called" little tap" is just as bad as being shoved. It will only get worse from here. It's not a matter of IF he does it again,its WHEN. He's got you conditioned to minimize and accept any physical abuse he inflicts on you. As far as his career,he should have thought about that before he put his hands on you in the 1st place. So,he threatened divorce. GOOD!!! Let him. You will be safe from being verbally and physically abused by a bully who can't control himself and picks on ppl smaller than him. Id leave for good. Id get help through domestic violence services before you end up worse off. You're in danger. Also try to get an order of protection/ restraining order and document the abuse. I had to basically disappear in order to get away from my abuser. He only found me twice by chance in 2 different cities but I was lucky. Friends helped me. 1st time - I was being chased and friend took me away on his motorcycle when he saw . 2nd time I was on a bus and friends were there but I purposely got off at the wrong stop and went to someone's house to be safe. They knew what was up. I know that he would have hurt me if he got me alone. I now don't even look the same so he'd be clueless and my current man and bestie, who is a guy who is like a brother to me would go to jail giving the abuser back what he gave me if he recognized me ever. Don't be stupid and stay with this bully. In my state, there's been women who have been set on fire at a gas station by an abuser. Also look for the story of Tracy Thurman.. She's permanently injured and went through hell because of her abuser

Guy loses his phone and assaults his wife twice. That push was assault too. Any consequences are of his own making.

Ruin him.

Run, Bambi, run!

I sat on my thoughts for a couple of days because this made me so sad and angry. TBH saying a "warning tap" is a sign he was trying to discipline her. She's not a child. This is how abuse starts. "I only did it to make you understand/behave/protect you."

NTA, leave before it gets worse. It will get worse with his attitude and lacking emotional regulation.

Gross, he sounds like my ex husband.

He demonstrated his aggression in front of a witness, too. This will be an easy divorce case.

Ummmm yeah hitting someone is abuse. Glad to clear that up for you.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

This level of freak out over his phone to me screams he's cheating. I'm so proud of OP immediately leaving.

Which is more important? Your safety and wellbeing or this creep's stupid career? He deserves everything he gets.

OP, got 4 words for you: Take him for EVERYTHING! Any man (or woman) that hits their spouse/partner needs to be dealt with BEFORE it escalates... and it will. If he didn't "hurt" you... he will eventually! Doesn't want to ruin his rep? That ship has done sailed!

The moment he called it a warning tap, he basically said he WILL do it again and it WILL get worse. Run far and run fast and do not look back!!

OP wrote: "He's been like that for the past two months ..." My question, did she just ignore the flags for the first three years, or is something medically going on with him? (I'm not excusing this abuse) My cousin went from mild mannered to a raging a-hole what seemed like overnight. Turned out he had a tumor growing on his prefrontal cortex. After surgery and full removal of the tumor - he was back to being (mostly) himself. I mean as much as you can after having a bit of your brain removed with the tumor.

get out get out get out!!! i just heard a story last night of a lady who stayed in an abusive relationship and was killed by her fiance. do not put up with this or excuse it for one second!

I would suggest the panic about not finding the phone was because there was something on it that he did not want her to see . . . . text or photos from another woman perhaps? Either way it was assault - police report first, divorce after that.

Over time, he's gonna start hitting you harder.

You need to leave because the violence will get worse. Men like that don't deserve a woman.

The fact he saw nothing wrong with hitting her and even tried to justify it speaks volumes.

A warning tap? He's cheating or blowing his nose. Didn't want to lose his contact. I Hope OP gets out of there FAST! This is just the beginning!

This is an addict's behavior. He is addicted to his phone. A lot of people today seem to struggle and get very very anxious when they are not cradling their phone. Ask any teen how long they can be without their phone. Social media has made it almost impossible to stay away and we are not the better for it. (In case you're wondering, neither my husband nor I own cells.)

Echoing everything that has been said, but I have a questions to ask, what's up with your brother? Is he young? Small? Or just non-confrontational? Hubby needs to be taught VERY DIRECTLY that this will NEVER happen again. A joint meeting with him and the men in your family should suffice to convey that message quite emphatically.