"warning tap" - girl, glad you got out before the main event. Now tell his partners. And the police. And hold on to those texts.

"He... threatened to divorce me if I used that word again". The only response can be to oblige with a text saying "What do you want to call the abuse?"

This man's abuse is not new: "He’s never hit me before but he’s pushed me and thrown things in my face before."

He's cheating. He couldn't find his phone & freaked out thinking that she took it to investigate. Divorce & cite abuse as the cause.

Losing his cool over a phone? What the heck is a warning tap? Is he practicing on how to hit his wife harder the next time? Hope OP files for divorce really soon; and I agree with the other comments to make it public to save other women.

Been married for 31 the years. My husband has never "given me a warning tap" Report it and get get a lawyer.

Men like this never change. He will never change. GTFO girl, make a police report, and never look back.

You need to leave this guy!!! As a domestic violence survivor,you called it right. HE ABUSED YOU!!!!! He's been abusing you for a long time. So he hasn't hit you before? He has still abused you. He gaslit you right after he hit you this time. One time is one time too many. BELIEVE ME!!!! RUN DON'T WALK AWAY!!! That so called" little tap" is just as bad as being shoved. It will only get worse from here. It's not a matter of IF he does it again,its WHEN. He's got you conditioned to minimize and accept any physical abuse he inflicts on you. As far as his career,he should have thought about that before he put his hands on you in the 1st place. So,he threatened divorce. GOOD!!! Let him. You will be safe from being verbally and physically abused by a bully who can't control himself and picks on ppl smaller than him. Id leave for good. Id get help through domestic violence services before you end up worse off. You're in danger. Also try to get an order of protection/ restraining order and document the abuse. I had to basically disappear in order to get away from my abuser. He only found me twice by chance in 2 different cities but I was lucky. Friends helped me. 1st time - I was being chased and friend took me away on his motorcycle when he saw . 2nd time I was on a bus and friends were there but I purposely got off at the wrong stop and went to someone's house to be safe. They knew what was up. I know that he would have hurt me if he got me alone. I now don't even look the same so he'd be clueless and my current man and bestie, who is a guy who is like a brother to me would go to jail giving the abuser back what he gave me if he recognized me ever. Don't be stupid and stay with this bully. In my state, there's been women who have been set on fire at a gas station by an abuser. Also look for the story of Tracy Thurman.. She's permanently injured and went through hell because of her abuser

Guy loses his phone and assaults his wife twice. That push was assault too. Any consequences are of his own making.

Ruin him.

Run, Bambi, run!

I sat on my thoughts for a couple of days because this made me so sad and angry. TBH saying a "warning tap" is a sign he was trying to discipline her. She's not a child. This is how abuse starts. "I only did it to make you understand/behave/protect you."

NTA, leave before it gets worse. It will get worse with his attitude and lacking emotional regulation.

Gross, he sounds like my ex husband.

He demonstrated his aggression in front of a witness, too. This will be an easy divorce case.

Ummmm yeah hitting someone is abuse. Glad to clear that up for you.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

This level of freak out over his phone to me screams he's cheating. I'm so proud of OP immediately leaving.

Which is more important? Your safety and wellbeing or this creep's stupid career? He deserves everything he gets.

OP, got 4 words for you: Take him for EVERYTHING! Any man (or woman) that hits their spouse/partner needs to be dealt with BEFORE it escalates... and it will. If he didn't "hurt" you... he will eventually! Doesn't want to ruin his rep? That ship has done sailed!

The moment he called it a warning tap, he basically said he WILL do it again and it WILL get worse. Run far and run fast and do not look back!!

OP wrote: "He's been like that for the past two months ..." My question, did she just ignore the flags for the first three years, or is something medically going on with him? (I'm not excusing this abuse) My cousin went from mild mannered to a raging a-hole what seemed like overnight. Turned out he had a tumor growing on his prefrontal cortex. After surgery and full removal of the tumor - he was back to being (mostly) himself. I mean as much as you can after having a bit of your brain removed with the tumor.

get out get out get out!!! i just heard a story last night of a lady who stayed in an abusive relationship and was killed by her fiance. do not put up with this or excuse it for one second!

I don’t mind BoredPanda reposting stuff from Reddit but I really wish they’d focus more on posts with updates because I hate reading stuff like this and having no idea if the person got out ok :( also, this guy is a *divorce* attorney and thinks abuse is acceptable. He *needs* to lose his career. And his “warning tap” excuse is bs. I could ask my husband to scratch my back and he’d be checking every couple minutes to make sure he’s not hurting me. He shouldn’t be “warning” you, he should be distraught over the thought that he might have hurt you

Before I got married the 2nd time I told my husband nd enough me. Had hit me and if he ever did they would scrape him up with a stick and a spoon. 44 years he never raised his hand

You married an abuser. He landed the first blow. The next time - and there will be a next time - it will be harder. The abuse will become more frequent. Who cares if it hurts his career. It should. It's possible he's already in trouble at work and hasn't told you. Maybe he went off on a client. You need to divorce him.

Why are "file for divorce" and "keep her distance and expose his behavior" two separate choices? Go nuclear and bring out his behavior during the divorce. If he gets ugly, press charges and make them known to the world. I'm sure his employer will love that.

Pushing you into the room was abuse, he escalated to the slap when it didn't work. He will continue to escalate to maintain his control of you. Tell anyone you damn well please, or don't. Do what is best for you and your healing. You do not owe him anything, even protecting his reputation.

I would bet money. He's cheating. He had an absolute panic attack and accused you of trying to steal his phone when you were in the shower? Oh, he's got something on there. He's terrified of you seeing.