The YTAs, yet again, are big old pieces of s**t. "It's perfectly fine to call your pregnant wife a cheating whore" is what they sound like to me. When my wife told me she was pregnant (married 8 years, raised stepkids, didn't plan on any more)... my first, second, third, FIVE HUNDREDTH thought was never "I want a paternity test." I feel bad for op, but could imagine her getting a paternity test, divorce, and possibly terminating the pregnancy. Her husband is a HUGE AH.

What I find highly distasteful is that this poor woman has to 'prove' something to her husband. Having to proof something to someone means they don't trust you, period. If her husband doesn't trust her and he has given her no specific reason why he doesn't trust her, why are you in a relationship? A relationship revolves around trust and honesty and both those things don't feature in OP's husband's life apparently.

Found update: He was cheating on OP with the friend she went to for advice. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ez948f/update_aita_for_saying_im_secondguessing_having_a/

She updated: TLDR: Husband is cheating on me with my friend from last post, is definitely fertile and didn't get a secret vasectomy. I'm getting the paternity test and divorce papers to go along with them. And probably an abortion.

Get on record his claims that that there is no way the baby's his and an acknowledgement that you've shared a marital bed. Then file for an annulment on the grounds that he's mentally unfit to enter into legal agreements, which includes marriage.

I would say refuse unless he can explain why he can't get a woman pregnant by having unprotected sex with her. If he has no answer for that, then run, as he is going to be a controlling jerk. It might be he knows he has a low sperm count or something, which might make a test request reasonable, but if he won't share it, he's just trying to control his wife.

Your instinct was right, he doesn't trust you, and gets irrationally angry when you call him on it. He's only going to get more controlling. Get out and hopefully bring the kid with you, if you decide to keep it.

The poll options once again failed to have my choice, take the test and be ready to rub the results in his face for the rest of his life, whether you stay married or not.

This is not a relationship born of real love and that's the problem.

Once there is a foolproof way for men to prove they haven't cheated either, then I'd never agree to a paternity test

When I see a story like this, my first thought is whether one spouse has already started thinking about ending the relationship before the pregnancy was discovered.

"A man can never know for sure if it's his." Oh honey. The fact that I look identical to my dad's sister might be a dead giveaway, and the fact that if you lined up all the (Surname) men at the same age you wouldn't be able to tell who was who, might give it away.

The husbsnd sounds horrible However you never know, this might be the only chance in life for OP to have a baby. It happens in life.

After the update on reddit, it's ok if she wants to cleanse herself from that losers DNA, your body your choice girl! It's never to late late to start all over

Updated here: https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ez948f/update_aita_for_saying_im_secondguessing_having_a/

Maybe he hopes it's not his because he doesn't want a kid

He is cheating, and projecting. He needs a divorce. Otherwise, only a MIL from hell would put ideas like this into his head.

So, what did she do? Anyone know?

Having children or not having children should not be something that happens or that you assume the other will come around to. Geez people, talk about these issues when you get married/start a serious relationship. And when one is not ready, they are in charge of birth control. You can't just leave it and then act all surprised.

Yea I think the man just has no idea how babies are made and agree with the IQ test thing lol like others said, he’s either been snipped and didn’t tell her, was told he’s likely never have kids ( and believed it since they had been having unprotected sex for a year and she hadn’t gotten pregnant yet), or he has no idea how babies are made and that’s why he thinks it’s “impossible” for that baby to be his. I’d love to know how he thinks they’re made if that’s the case though

It's not that he asked for a paternity test. It's HOW he asked for it. It's not unreasonable that a guy who might have been cheated on before would just feel better and throw himself into impending fatherhood a lot easier if he can erase that little invasive "what if she cheated?" thought. If my husband came at me in that gentle manner, sure no problem, test it is because I know I didn't cheat but I can be sensitive to those kinds of "what if" thoughts. If my hubby came at me like OP's? Not gonna lie, abortion and divorce with zero chance of reconciliation would be likely.

I am not a proponent for divorce, but droo him. I think he IS projecting... His guilt. I may be wrong, but his actions and the comments your "friend" made about your husbands concerns are "valid". Did you sleep around before the marriage? If you did, sure concerns could be warranted. If no... your hubby and "friend" probably ARE cheating. You've got some disitions to make. Sorry... but you marriage is over...

The YTA are obviously cheaters themselves, but in some US states paternity tests are mandated when people are unmarried to establish legal rights, not biological rights. In modern times its no worse than an STD test, and you can shove it in his face every time he doesn't pay child support in the future.

ESH. Husband for not trusting OP, OP for not realizing cheating is getting common and agreeing. Sounds like husband has some trauma, I say seek couples therapy.

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I'm appalled that comments on here mention abortion. That's fine if that is what she wants to do but to comment like it's the only solution is so disrespectful. Don't assume it's that easy, this is HER baby, not yours.