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Woman Asks For Advice After Husband Tries To Control What She Eats, Gets A Reality Check

Woman Asks For Advice After Husband Tries To Control What She Eats, Gets A Reality Check

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Couple goals can be amazing—working out together, cooking healthy meals, and cheering each other on sounds great, right? But for one woman, her husband’s ultra-strict diet habits started spilling into her life in ways that weren’t so fun.

The woman shared online how, despite leading a healthy lifestyle herself, her husband’s disapproving comments and strict standards around food have left her feeling judged and insecure. What was once about staying fit turned into her hiding snacks and stressing over wearing comfy clothes, worried about his silent (and not-so-silent) judgments. Keep reading to see how diet extremes can sneak into relationships and the importance of balance in love and life.

 It’s usually great fun when your partner is also your best friend and shares your interests—but sometimes it can get complicated

Image credits: Adam Winger / unsplash (not the actual photo)

A woman shared her journey into fitness, contrasting it with her husband’s extreme strictness around health and diet

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / unsplash (not the actual photo)

She described how her husband frequently criticizes her eating habits, making her feel judged

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Image credits: Guillaume Issaly / unsplash (not the actual photo)

The author sought advice online, expressing concerns about potentially developing eating disorders

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Image credits: gtwasdjwn

Occasional indulgence is perfectly normal and healthy, but frequent binge eating can affect adults and teens alike, leading to potential health challenges

There are days when you just want to indulge in your ultimate comfort food—whether it’s a creamy bowl of mac and cheese or a rich chocolate pastry. These treats can feel like a well-earned hug after a tough week or a mini celebration after a big win. But if those indulgences become an everyday escape, it might be worth taking a closer look. Overeating once in a while is normal, but when it turns into a habit, it could signal something more serious, like binge eating.

Binge eating disorder isn’t just about overeating—it’s about feeling like you’ve lost control. It involves consuming large amounts of food in a short time and being unable to stop, even when you’re full. The difference between a regular splurge and binge eating lies in that overwhelming sense of compulsion.

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Surprisingly, binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in the U.S. It doesn’t discriminate—it affects people across all racial and ethnic groups. About 1.25% of adult women and 0.42% of adult men struggle with it, along with 1.6% of teens aged 13 to 18. That’s a lot of people silently dealing with this challenge. 

Why do we binge eat? It’s often a mix of emotional, biological, and learned behaviors. For some, food becomes a coping mechanism for stress, sadness, or boredom. The science behind it? Eating triggers a release of serotonin and dopamine—the “feel-good” hormones. This can create an addictive cycle where food feels like an emotional safety net.

One big sign of binge eating is eating to the point where you’re physically uncomfortable. Think of that overly stuffed feeling after Thanksgiving dinner—but happening regularly. It’s not about hunger anymore; it’s about something deeper driving the behavior.

Eating quickly happens to the best of us, especially when we’re starving. But if you’re always eating in a rush, barely tasting your food, it could be a red flag. Slow and mindful eating isn’t just healthier; it’s also more satisfying.

Another clue? If you find yourself eating snacks shortly after a full meal or avoiding meals in social settings because you’re uncomfortable with how much you eat. Binge eating often brings a heavy dose of guilt, shame, and regret. It can mess with your self-esteem and make you feel trapped in a cycle of eating to feel better, only to feel worse afterward. 

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Binge eating can have serious long-term effects on both physical and mental health, making it crucial to seek help when needed

Emotional stress is a common trigger, leading to what’s known as emotional eating. Some people may even start hoarding food, hiding snacks, or stashing goodies in secret places for later. This behavior might seem harmless at first, but it’s often a sign of deeper struggles tied to binge eating.

Beyond the immediate emotional impact, binge eating can lead to long-term health problems. Obesity-related risks like diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease are common. It can also cause or worsen anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, affecting the overall quality of life.

That’s why recognizing these signs and seeking support is so important. Whether it’s talking to a trusted loved one, consulting a therapist, or joining a support group, reaching out can make a huge difference. Help is always available, and taking the first step is key.

In the woman’s story, her husband’s restrictive behavior left her fearing she might develop this habit. What do you think about the husband’s behavior? How would you support someone going through this?

Many people online criticized the author’s husband for being overly controlling

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Nikita Manot

Nikita Manot

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

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Nikita Manot

Nikita Manot

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Nikita's knack for storytelling and creativity has led her into the world of writing. With a robust foundation in business studies, she crafts compelling narratives by seamlessly blending analytical insight with imaginative expression. At Bored Panda, she embarks on an exhilarating quest to explore diverse topics, fueled by curiosity and passion. During her leisure time, she savors life's simple pleasures, such as gardening, cooking homemade meals and hosting gatherings for loved ones.

Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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Mantas Kačerauskas

Mantas Kačerauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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Adz86
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love they always start with how great a guy he is and blah blah before going onto point out he's a toyal abusive prick that shouldn't be dating anyone.

Kkg
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. "Best friend, soul mate, we talk about everything" and then suddenly "I eat when he's not looking, because I feel judged". It will be so much fun having kids with him!

Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The lady chomping down on a massive Cadbury bar whilst staring him dead in the eyes is my heroine of choice for today 😄

Secret Squirrel
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband has an eating disorder, and is controlling in the relationship. Lots of therapy might help, but for years he has judged the moral worth of his wife by how much she restricts herself, I really don't know if there's coming back from that. You see this dynamic more often with mothers trying to force their ED on daughters, but clearly it can be an issue in any relationship.

Marno C.
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP is looking for "Orthorexia.' It's an eating disorder for being obsessed with 'correct' and 'healthful' eating. Her husband sounds like he has it and he is trying to give it to her. He is becoming controlling and critical of her and it is affecting their ability to enjoy life and be flexible with holidays and the variances of day to day life. It's going to destroy her self esteem and their marriage if it doesn't get acknowledged and treated. It's going to be tough.

Cee Cee
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Best friends? I think OP needs to revise her definition of best friends. He sounds like an abusive nightmare. Get rid asap.

Littlemiss
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Dad was like this, he saw everything he hated about himself in me and would pick me apart till I was so self conscious I was just about beside myself. It's manipulative and soul destroying. I hope she leaves him, he won't stop until he has total control.

Beak Hookage
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you do not have a great marriage and he is not your best friend. He's making you miserable and putting you in a position where you don't feel like you can trust him or even feel comfortable around him. Dump his a*s.

Trillian
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband has an eating disorder and they should really address that, especially if they are planning to have children. There is not "exercising 4 days a week and eating only healthy stuff" when there is a baby in the house.

Kkg
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, don't worry. He still will be doing all that, and will be judging and criticizing her even more.

Load More Replies...
Orysha
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sentence "we have a good marriage" is a red flag in itself. Your husband is a psychotic manipulative as.shole.

sweetrottenpeaches
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl RUN! As fast as you can, and enjoy jour meals with a nice cold pint of beer without guilt🍻🩷

Jane Doe
Community Member
16 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to lose about 185 pounds I'm guessing. She can start by running...far, far away from this trainwreck of a husband.

notlikeyou1971
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hate to tell you this but you DO NOT have a good marriage. You are in a toxic relationship with a controlling husband. He's got you so mentally conditioned to accept this that of course you came out swinging with the " I'm in a good marriage, he's my best friend " BUT when you wrote this. He's not doing you any favor by acting like this. He's going to push you towards an eating disorder. He has one as it is himself. Forcing his obsession with correct and healthy eating and forcing it on you to the point of discomfort or distress is not fair or appropriate. It's abusive. It's going to destroy your self esteem, mental health and well-being and your marriage if you allow this douchebag to treat you this way. You are already starting to become depressed and insecure and he sucks the fun and happiness out of life. That's toxic behavior. Don't put up with that. Definitely don't have kids with that kind of person. I'd tell him that he needs to stop this behavior immediately because you're sick of it. Tell him he's a black cloud hanging over everything pleasant. He may want to maintain this lifestyle/health exercise and eating but you don't have to follow along just because you are married to him. You are an individual not his child or property. Either he quits it or he sleeps on the couch away from you . I'd give him the chance to change his ways. If he continues, there would be consequences. I don't allow people to control me,disrespect me or abuse me.

PeakyBlinder
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This does not Sound like a healthy relationship - it is definitely no ones concern whatever you chose to eat

Karl
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Food is probably the only bit of Xmas I actually enjoy. What I dread is the family contact and the materialistic shitfest it has become in recent decades. In the UK (in addition to the Boxing Day sales) we suddenly have “Black Friday” which is the post Thanksgiving sales - a festival we don’t even celebrate here 🤔

Broadredpanda
Community Member
10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please OP you can't allow this to go on any longer. It's very controlling and bullying behaviour. Please don't have children with him, because this will be heightened during the pregnancy and will then be something he'll pass on to his children. They will never be allowed to be a child! He absolutely obsessed and has a serious relationship with food and health in general. He might be body healthy but he's not mind healthy. Imagine that all he thinks about is every little morsel of food he's eating and drinking that he can't think of anything else but, it's not only that because he's watching everything you do and eat, then goes in a huff if you have a couple of more mouthful's than he deems fit annnnd he's thinking about what food is going to be eaten over the Christmas period? No no no!!! He needs to see someone now! You need to leave him because it won't ever change. You're allowed a slice of apple pie and a scoop of ice cream without judgement ffs! Run while you're young!

TruthoftheHeart
Community Member
20 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave his a*s definitely do not have children with him he will give any child a weight complex. I was with a man let him watch our it's miserable. They never get better they're horrible, one day he'll be that grouchy old man that everyone hates.

Reta Murphy
Community Member
10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When he says I thought you were being good when you eat something special, just look at him and say, I am being great and eating this.

Rae Reyn
Community Member
12 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only time my husband criticizes what I eat is when I eat things I know will make me sick (cheese, ice cream, Taco Bell)

Adz86
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love they always start with how great a guy he is and blah blah before going onto point out he's a toyal abusive prick that shouldn't be dating anyone.

Kkg
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. "Best friend, soul mate, we talk about everything" and then suddenly "I eat when he's not looking, because I feel judged". It will be so much fun having kids with him!

Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The lady chomping down on a massive Cadbury bar whilst staring him dead in the eyes is my heroine of choice for today 😄

Secret Squirrel
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband has an eating disorder, and is controlling in the relationship. Lots of therapy might help, but for years he has judged the moral worth of his wife by how much she restricts herself, I really don't know if there's coming back from that. You see this dynamic more often with mothers trying to force their ED on daughters, but clearly it can be an issue in any relationship.

Marno C.
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP is looking for "Orthorexia.' It's an eating disorder for being obsessed with 'correct' and 'healthful' eating. Her husband sounds like he has it and he is trying to give it to her. He is becoming controlling and critical of her and it is affecting their ability to enjoy life and be flexible with holidays and the variances of day to day life. It's going to destroy her self esteem and their marriage if it doesn't get acknowledged and treated. It's going to be tough.

Cee Cee
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Best friends? I think OP needs to revise her definition of best friends. He sounds like an abusive nightmare. Get rid asap.

Littlemiss
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Dad was like this, he saw everything he hated about himself in me and would pick me apart till I was so self conscious I was just about beside myself. It's manipulative and soul destroying. I hope she leaves him, he won't stop until he has total control.

Beak Hookage
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you do not have a great marriage and he is not your best friend. He's making you miserable and putting you in a position where you don't feel like you can trust him or even feel comfortable around him. Dump his a*s.

Trillian
Community Member
23 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband has an eating disorder and they should really address that, especially if they are planning to have children. There is not "exercising 4 days a week and eating only healthy stuff" when there is a baby in the house.

Kkg
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, don't worry. He still will be doing all that, and will be judging and criticizing her even more.

Load More Replies...
Orysha
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sentence "we have a good marriage" is a red flag in itself. Your husband is a psychotic manipulative as.shole.

sweetrottenpeaches
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl RUN! As fast as you can, and enjoy jour meals with a nice cold pint of beer without guilt🍻🩷

Jane Doe
Community Member
16 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs to lose about 185 pounds I'm guessing. She can start by running...far, far away from this trainwreck of a husband.

notlikeyou1971
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hate to tell you this but you DO NOT have a good marriage. You are in a toxic relationship with a controlling husband. He's got you so mentally conditioned to accept this that of course you came out swinging with the " I'm in a good marriage, he's my best friend " BUT when you wrote this. He's not doing you any favor by acting like this. He's going to push you towards an eating disorder. He has one as it is himself. Forcing his obsession with correct and healthy eating and forcing it on you to the point of discomfort or distress is not fair or appropriate. It's abusive. It's going to destroy your self esteem, mental health and well-being and your marriage if you allow this douchebag to treat you this way. You are already starting to become depressed and insecure and he sucks the fun and happiness out of life. That's toxic behavior. Don't put up with that. Definitely don't have kids with that kind of person. I'd tell him that he needs to stop this behavior immediately because you're sick of it. Tell him he's a black cloud hanging over everything pleasant. He may want to maintain this lifestyle/health exercise and eating but you don't have to follow along just because you are married to him. You are an individual not his child or property. Either he quits it or he sleeps on the couch away from you . I'd give him the chance to change his ways. If he continues, there would be consequences. I don't allow people to control me,disrespect me or abuse me.

PeakyBlinder
Community Member
21 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This does not Sound like a healthy relationship - it is definitely no ones concern whatever you chose to eat

Karl
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Food is probably the only bit of Xmas I actually enjoy. What I dread is the family contact and the materialistic shitfest it has become in recent decades. In the UK (in addition to the Boxing Day sales) we suddenly have “Black Friday” which is the post Thanksgiving sales - a festival we don’t even celebrate here 🤔

Broadredpanda
Community Member
10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please OP you can't allow this to go on any longer. It's very controlling and bullying behaviour. Please don't have children with him, because this will be heightened during the pregnancy and will then be something he'll pass on to his children. They will never be allowed to be a child! He absolutely obsessed and has a serious relationship with food and health in general. He might be body healthy but he's not mind healthy. Imagine that all he thinks about is every little morsel of food he's eating and drinking that he can't think of anything else but, it's not only that because he's watching everything you do and eat, then goes in a huff if you have a couple of more mouthful's than he deems fit annnnd he's thinking about what food is going to be eaten over the Christmas period? No no no!!! He needs to see someone now! You need to leave him because it won't ever change. You're allowed a slice of apple pie and a scoop of ice cream without judgement ffs! Run while you're young!

TruthoftheHeart
Community Member
20 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave his a*s definitely do not have children with him he will give any child a weight complex. I was with a man let him watch our it's miserable. They never get better they're horrible, one day he'll be that grouchy old man that everyone hates.

Reta Murphy
Community Member
10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When he says I thought you were being good when you eat something special, just look at him and say, I am being great and eating this.

Rae Reyn
Community Member
12 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only time my husband criticizes what I eat is when I eat things I know will make me sick (cheese, ice cream, Taco Bell)

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