Reddit user ThrowRA_drag thought he knew his husband. But lately, something had been off. What started as a shared journey of faith soon took an unexpected turn, with his partner becoming increasingly devoted to a new church and adopting beliefs that seemed unfamiliar—alarming, even. As their once-happy marriage shifted to a more confrontational state (which the Redditor never anticipated), he found himself questioning everything and ultimately discovered that his husband no longer considered himself gay.

This man was happily married, and life with his husband was great

Image credits:  In Lieu & In View Photography / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But as his partner began to discover religion, things started to change

Image credits:  Nina Zeynep Güler / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Burst / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Vincent Wachowiak / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexel (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ThrowRA_drag

We don’t know for sure what exactly forms our sexual orientations

Image credits: Nina Hill / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Telling someone to just stop being gay because it’s sinful isn’t how things really work.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), current research and professional understanding suggest the core attractions that form the basis for adult sexual orientation typically emerge between middle childhood and early adolescence. These patterns of emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction can also arise without any prior sexual experience. People can be celibate and still know their sexual orientation, whether it’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, or heterosexual.

However, APA says there is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation.

Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to definitively conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors.

Many think that it’s a mix of nature and nurture and that most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation.

As his story went viral, the man joined the discussion in the comments

Internalized homophobia is far-reaching and dangerous

Forcing heterosexuality on someone can lead them to develop internalized homophobia, which consists of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors arising from the belief that queerness is bad, wrong, sinful, and inferior to being straight.

Queer-inclusive clinical psychologist Dr. Bethany Cook says that, by definition, internalized homophobia can only be experienced by someone who is not heterosexual.

Internalized “phobias” arise when someone in a minority group internalizes society’s hatred toward them, she explains.

It often leads a person to punish themselves for having queer thoughts and feelings or to engage in addictive behaviors that distract from them.

Sometimes internalized homophobia also gives rise to external homophobia, which a lot of hate crimes stem from.

If, despite their attempts, the perpetrators experience same-sex attraction and cannot accept themselves for that, they can direct hatred and violence toward people who are openly LBGTQ+.

Ultimately, the man issued an update on the situation, and it sounded like he was starting to heal

Image credits: ThrowRA_drag

Image credits: ThrowRA_drag

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