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“He’s Ripping My Entire Life Apart”: Husband Realizes He’s Gay, Files For Full Custody Of The Kids
Everything in this world, one way or another, has its end. And, what’s most disappointing, often the denouement can come completely unexpectedly. You may think that you have a happy family living in harmony, peace and prosperity – but this world can shatter into pieces in just a few days.
Something similar happened to the user u/wifeinneedofhelp, whose story we want to tell you today: a mom of two, whose marriage broke up completely unexpectedly for her, and the ex-husband also wanted to take the house and children too. However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here and go on reading.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post is a woman in her 30s whose husband recently came out as gay and demanded a divorce
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman was devastated since this news came absolutely unexpectedly for her but tried to remain supportive towards him
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, the man also stated that he wants full custody over their 2 kids, and to have the house and savings as well
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The spouses both contributed to their house but since the man was the main breadwinner, his share was mathematically bigger
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman could have made a good career if she didn’t have to raise 2 kids – but the man just told ‘he’s trying to be fair’
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
So the woman just decided to take it online in order to get support and advice from netizens
So, the Original Poster (OP) is a 33-year-old woman, whose husband is a year older. The couple had been living together for eight years, have two children, and the woman sincerely believed that they had a good marriage. Unfortunately, the husband, as it turned out, had a different point of view on this issue…
One day, a few months ago, the man confessed to the wife that he had recently realized he was gay and was now asking for a divorce. Needless to say, the author was completely stunned by this news. She tried to be as supportive as possible, because she understood that this was an important step in her spouse’s life – but subsequent events turned out to be even more unexpected.
The thing is that the husband was the main breadwinner for the family and, although the author also had her own job, the main contribution to their savings and the house was, accordingly, his. Therefore, the guy claimed that he was filing for full custody over their kids and wanted to take the house as well.
According to the man, he’s just trying to be fair, but our heroine cannot shake the thought that he was simply taking advantage of the circumstances. After all, if she hadn’t spent years bringing up their kids, she too could have made a good career. And now her ex-spouse is trying to sue her for everything, effectively ruining her life.
The woman decided to seek advice from netizens on what to do in this situation. After all, by and large, everything she had over the last eight years of marriage, everything that made up her life – everything is now ready to turn to dust in the wind because of her ex-husband.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Don’t rush to give advice to the original poster based on American practice – the woman added that she lives in New Zealand, so the situation may be significantly different. However, any divorce process is to some extent dependent on having a good lawyer. And we sincerely hope that the author has such a lawyer.
According to official statistics, almost 8 thousand couples went through the divorce procedure in New Zealand last year, which is 7.6 divorces per 1,000 marriages. At the same time, 5,901 children under 17 years of age had divorced parents. At the same time, the state supports various specialized programs for spouses preparing for divorce, such as Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) Mediation.
“Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) Mediation is a service designed to help divorced parents, parents going through separation, solo parents or whānau (the Māori language word for the basic extended family group) reach a parenting agreement about the care or custody of children out of court,” the program’s official website says. Perhaps participating in such a program will help our heroine as well?
In any case, people in the comments to the original post sided with the author as much as possible, stating that divorce laws are actually designed to protect the more vulnerable partner. And in their marriage, she was clearly the more vulnerable one. “If you both live in the west that guy is gonna get a surprise when this gets to court,” one of the commenters reasonably wrote. “And he is also going to have to pay for your lawyer.”
The responders literally urge the original poster not to agree to any of her now-ex’s suggestions and demands, and to refer the matter to a lawyer. “What you need to do is the following – and do it immediately: agree to nothing, get a lawyer, follow the lawyer’s advice,” another person suggested. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this advice?
People in the comments sided with the author unanimously, urging her to get the lawyer involved as soon as possible – and actually nothing more
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What do you think ?
Livingwithcfs 2 months ago
Ok, so she's in NZ, so that means the courts will most probably split everything down the middle and custody will be shared, unless he can prove she is an unfit mother. NZ law tries to be fair to both parties and will especially try to make sure the children are in the best situation. He's dreaming if he thinks he'll get everything he's asking for, this is a tactic to see if she will give in before it reaches family court. I hope she stays strong.
Pyla 2 months ago
Truth is, she knows he cheated. You don't just wake up liking deck w/o having tried it early and often, and he probably has a boyfriend on the side already, in fact, probably ready to play house. Christ, I hope she really rams it up his a**e for trying to rip her off and take her kids.
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Sunny Day 2 months ago
So he wants to keep their life, just without her there. I hope her lawyer takes him to the cleaners, and he ends up in a rundown apartment in a crappy part of town, with a blinking neon sign that stays on 24/7 outside the only window.
Hphizzle 2 months ago
Great guy! /s Keeps huge life changing information for his wife. Presents said information, emotionally crushing wife. Next up, decides she’s not a good mother for HIS children and wants to take them away as well. And because she’s not been beat down enough, he thinks he’s fully in the right to obliterate her financially. Wow, I feel sorry for any future boyfriend/husband of his. This man is despicable.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago (edited)
He states only just realised he's gay. It's not as uncommon as you think for people who have been socialised that the default is straight. It's a completely different issue than trying to take full custody/insisting in taking assets. The reason for the divorce is irrelevant, he doesn't want to be married to her. In NZ if you e been married for more than 3 years, property is split 50/50 unless there's a prenup. The other assets are proportional, but consideration is given if someone sacrificed career progression for childcare. It would be really unusual to grabt full custody if both parents are fit and want custody. So he may be going after bank accounts, but the other details she puts in makes me doubt her story.
Load More Replies...
Livingwithcfs 2 months ago
Ok, so she's in NZ, so that means the courts will most probably split everything down the middle and custody will be shared, unless he can prove she is an unfit mother. NZ law tries to be fair to both parties and will especially try to make sure the children are in the best situation. He's dreaming if he thinks he'll get everything he's asking for, this is a tactic to see if she will give in before it reaches family court. I hope she stays strong.
Pyla 2 months ago
Truth is, she knows he cheated. You don't just wake up liking deck w/o having tried it early and often, and he probably has a boyfriend on the side already, in fact, probably ready to play house. Christ, I hope she really rams it up his a**e for trying to rip her off and take her kids.
Load More Replies... Sunny Day 2 months ago
So he wants to keep their life, just without her there. I hope her lawyer takes him to the cleaners, and he ends up in a rundown apartment in a crappy part of town, with a blinking neon sign that stays on 24/7 outside the only window.
Hphizzle 2 months ago
Great guy! /s Keeps huge life changing information for his wife. Presents said information, emotionally crushing wife. Next up, decides she’s not a good mother for HIS children and wants to take them away as well. And because she’s not been beat down enough, he thinks he’s fully in the right to obliterate her financially. Wow, I feel sorry for any future boyfriend/husband of his. This man is despicable.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago (edited)
He states only just realised he's gay. It's not as uncommon as you think for people who have been socialised that the default is straight. It's a completely different issue than trying to take full custody/insisting in taking assets. The reason for the divorce is irrelevant, he doesn't want to be married to her. In NZ if you e been married for more than 3 years, property is split 50/50 unless there's a prenup. The other assets are proportional, but consideration is given if someone sacrificed career progression for childcare. It would be really unusual to grabt full custody if both parents are fit and want custody. So he may be going after bank accounts, but the other details she puts in makes me doubt her story.
Load More Replies...
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