Man Battles With Wife’s Ultimatum: Give Her More Than 2 Showers Per Week Or See Her Move Out
It’s important to be aware of our impact on the environment, but some people are more eager to take action to minimize it than others; maybe even too eager at times.
This redditor’s husband, for instance, took action by limiting the number of showers his family members were allowed to take. Such a decision led to conflict between the spouses and his wife wondering if she was overreacting for threatening him to move out.
Taking regular showers is crucial for personal hygiene and overall well-being
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
This woman could not take daily showers because her husband would turn off the hot water
Image credits: amenic181 / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: dirtywife_
An average family reportedly uses roughly 300 gallons of water per day
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s no secret that our behaviors are closely linked to the environment, be it because of the resources we use or the waste we produce, among other things. According to National Geographic, some of the main ways humans affect the environment are overpopulation, pollution, burning fossil fuels, and deforestation, all of which can result in climate change, soil erosion, poor air quality, and undrinkable water.
The latter, water, is what the OP’s husband was worried about the most. Bearing the environment in mind, he believed that his family was using too much water, hence the two-shower-a-week rule. According to the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the average American family uses over 300 gallons (just over 1100 liters) of water per day in their homes, 70% of which is used indoors.
Out of the 70% of indoor use water, the majority seems to be flushed down the toilet; quite literally, as the toilet is what people use water for the most. Showering is reportedly second on the list, followed by using faucets and washing clothes respectively. EPA emphasized that using water more efficiently helps maintain water supplies at safe levels, protecting human health and the environment.
One-in-two people take showers on a daily basis
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)
While being mindful of water usage should be a rule of thumb, taking it to the extreme at the expense of the well-being of members of one’s household might not be the smartest idea. Take showering, for instance, which was something the OP’s husband was willing to minimize for the sake of the environment; while experts point out that whether or not it’s necessary to shower daily depends on each person, the limit to two times per week was clearly not something the redditor was content with, consequently negatively affecting her quality of life.
The redditor shared that she was someone who prefers showering before bed, meaning that she likely takes showers daily; and based on data from 2021, she’s far from the only one. A survey from a few years ago found that roughly half of Americans wash themselves every day and one-in-five of them do it at least once every two days. Taking a shower two times a week—once every three or four days—is a routine followed by only 6% and 2% of respondents respectively.
While personal hygiene habits clearly differ with each individual, they’re usually based on the choices they make rather than on what’s imposed on them by others. That’s why fellow redditors in the comments took the OP’s side and pointed out that the husband limiting the showers family members can take is likely to do more harm than good.
Fellow netizens shared their views in the comments, the OP replied to some of them
"But I love him and he's good to me!". Honey, please! He's treating you like a child. He's not good to you. He's got an obsessive disorder and he's harming you with it. You don't love him. You have Stockholm syndrome.
I've said this before and it's still true: so many of these AITAs are "we have a great relationship but he doesn't view or respect me as a person".
Load More Replies...I like the comment of if he is forcing his conspiracy/environmental beliefs on the family, then you need to kick HIM out. It’s a boundary you need to set for your family. He’s had great boundaries up until now, not forcing his beliefs on you. But since that’s now changed, you need to stand up against it. This definitely doesn’t need to head to divorce yet, but be stronger in your boundaries.
Same. He's the problem, not her. Do not tolerate paranoid bs.
Load More Replies...She says divorce is not an option, but he gives ultimatums and there's no room for discussion, compromise or input from the person who is supposed to be his partner. This example of controlling behavior could be right out of coercive control for dummies. Don't brush this off, get out. Violence is the next stage.
"But I love him and he's good to me!". Honey, please! He's treating you like a child. He's not good to you. He's got an obsessive disorder and he's harming you with it. You don't love him. You have Stockholm syndrome.
I've said this before and it's still true: so many of these AITAs are "we have a great relationship but he doesn't view or respect me as a person".
Load More Replies...I like the comment of if he is forcing his conspiracy/environmental beliefs on the family, then you need to kick HIM out. It’s a boundary you need to set for your family. He’s had great boundaries up until now, not forcing his beliefs on you. But since that’s now changed, you need to stand up against it. This definitely doesn’t need to head to divorce yet, but be stronger in your boundaries.
Same. He's the problem, not her. Do not tolerate paranoid bs.
Load More Replies...She says divorce is not an option, but he gives ultimatums and there's no room for discussion, compromise or input from the person who is supposed to be his partner. This example of controlling behavior could be right out of coercive control for dummies. Don't brush this off, get out. Violence is the next stage.
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